There once was a man,

A very annoying man.

He needed a smack with a bat,

Or a spank on the butt

That would make him fat.

He bragged and bragged and bragged

And if that didn't drive you nuts,

He bragged about his girlfriend,

He bragged about his face,

(though it wasn't very good)

He should have been in rags,

Stuffed in bags,

Or accompanying the hags.

He was not cool

He didn't like playing pool,

What's a pirate supposed to do?

He could not swim

He guessed on a whim

Yet he survived

And kept his limbs

Boohoo

He was a Mary-Sue.

He ate his celery,

But made his salary

How lame-o can you get?

He did not steal

He made no deals

He was a little brat.

He did not thief

He made no trades

He was a little gnat.

He had a name,

An annoying one at that

He made you want to hit him

With a bat.

His name was Will Turner,

He was annoying as all crap,

He was a learner,

But still annoying.

I had better stop now

Before I make a vow

To

Smack him with a bat,

Or spank him on the butt

So he got fat,

Or dress him in rags

Or stuff him in bags

Or force him to

Accompany the hags.

Then make him swim;

Lose his limbs,

Or hit him with another bat.

Then I'll

Pour some hot water up

And down his legs

And maybe he'll lay eggs,

And he'll turn into a chicken

With a really big head,

Then I'll chop it off with an

Axe of Lead!

Thank you!