A/N - Sorry it took so long! Thanks to everyone who reviewed... I love you!
The owl dropped before Remus as it did every morning. For the past few weeks he had been in especially high spirits, considering his mother was pregnant with a baby girl. And, like he had every morning, Remus laughed and opened it, talking easily to Sirius, James, Peter, or Lily. It was Sirius, to their surprise, who sensed something was wrong even as Remus opened the letter, and it was James and Lily who followed Sirius and Remus as the boy turned white and swept out of the Great Hall. Stopping Remus, Sirius grabbed his shoulder and demanded, "Remus, what happened? Is everything okay?"
Lily noticed the glaze over his eyes as he closed them and said harshly, "She lost the baby. She's at St. Mungo's. Dad found her yesterday when he got home."
Sirius' face went white and he let go of Remus' shoulder, "Merlin, Remus. Again? She lost the baby again?"
Face tight, Remus nodded. Stepping forward, James grasped his shoulders and said soothingly, "Come on Remus. Let's go see Dumbledore. He'll let you go to St. Mungo's. Come on, let's get you up there."
He walked off with Remus, and Lily turned to Sirius, stopping dead as she saw his face contorted in fierce anguish, tears glittering in his eyes. Hesitantly she reached up to hold him and he clung to her, saying softly, "She's wanted a child for so long. She's waited for so long. And she's given up so many because of Remus."
"What?" Lily asked, eyes wide.
Shaking his head, Sirius said, "She's a superstitious Roman. In the legend of Romulus and Remus, Romulus kills Remus, and because of that she's refused to have a boy. She's lost two baby girls now, and I know there's no way she's only been pregnant twice. Rhea's the kind of woman who would get rid of a child to save her first one. Merlin, Evans, she wanted a baby of her own so badly. Why the bloody hell can she not have one?"
Lily looked sorrowfully at him and shook her head. Turning, she led him after James and Remus, knowing that Dumbledore might let them go with Remus, for support.
She waited outside Dumbledore's office and looked up eagerly as James stepped out. He grasped her arms and looked at her, his eyes glittered with unshed tears and he said softly, "Dumbledore's going to send us to St. Mungo's. Me, Sirius, and Remus. Moony's going to stay until Wednesday, but Sirius and I'll be back tonight."
Reaching up, she kissed him quickly and nodded, "Go, James. And make sure Remus is okay. And Sirius. And make sure that you're okay."
Wondering how he had been blessed with such a wonderful girlfriend, James pressed his lips idly to her deep red hair and whispered, "I will. Thank you Lily."
Squeezing his hand, she smiled sadly as he turned to go back into Dumbledore's office. And when he was gone, she turned and fled to the common room, where she knew Gideon and the newly released from the hospital wing Marlene would be waiting for her.
James reached out and grasped Remus' shoulder, not surprised when the boy jumped and stared at him in surprise. "She'll be okay," he said.
Remus nodded, but he still stood up hastily as a tall blond man entered the room and sighed in relief, "Remus. Come on, you're dad's in the room."
James and Sirius followed, though they had not been addressed, it was understood that they would not leave the boy alone. Remus nodded and the blond man turned to them and shook his head, "James, Sirius, you two stay here. Let him see her first, and then you two can come. I'll come get you in a few minutes."
Opening his mouth to object, Sirius stared as James elbowed him and nodded, "Alright Dai. Good luck Moony."
Managing a weak smile at his friends, Remus turned and walked into the hospital. He saw his father easily, for the tall man was easily noticeable. Standing, his silver-grey eyes flashed and he ran a hand idly through his brown hair, streaked with white, and there were bags beneath his eyes as he crossed the hall to his son. "Remus," he said, looking thoroughly relieved to see the boy.
Dai stepped in and opened the door, saying, "Mars, if you want to see her, you'd best go now. She's awake."
Nodding, Mars Lupin stepped in after Remus, looking at Dai and saying softly, "Thank you Llewllyn."
Face tight, Dai Llewllyn nodded and motioned him forward, "I don't want to see anything happen to her either, Lupin. I'm going to go talk to James and Sirius and send them up in a few minutes."
Nodding again, Mars Lupin went over the pale figure of his wife and bent to kiss her gently. Rhea Lupin's long dark brown curls were sprawled over the pillow, and her brown eyes were tired and sad. She sat up and her eyes filled with tears as she saw Remus. Instantly the boy went over to her and hugged her, kissing her quickly and saying, "Mum, are you okay?"
Eyes shining with tears, she nodded and clasped his hand, "I'm fine, Remus."
"What happened?" he asked, looking at her and at his father.
Rhea shook her head and said firmly, closing the discussion as she caught a glimpse of the haunted look on her husband's face, "We lost the baby. Aga –"
Looking fiercely worried, Mars Lupin cut her off and spoke, taking her hand and pressing it to his lips gently, "Enough, Rhea. You're safe, and that's all that matters."
Though tears still glittered in her eyes, she nodded. And still, she brought his hand, still in hers, to her lips and murmured quick words in Italian. Musing that he was not supposed to understand what those words meant, Mars Lupin bent and kissed her forehead, saying reassuringly, "It'll be okay Rhea. Everything will be okay."
She nodded tearfully and looked up when Sirius said softly, running over to her, "Rhea."
A small smile escaped her and she let the handsome boy hug her, his face creased in worry. Behind him stood James, hand on the edge of the bed as he said, "How are you Miss Rhea? Padfoot, back off."
For once, Sirius obeyed his best friend instantly and stood behind Remus, eyes dark with worry as Rhea Lupin looked down at where her hand rested in her husband's. "I'm okay, James. Your mother came by earlier today. And your cousin Sirius."
"Meda?" Sirius asked, smiling as Rhea nodded.
James and Sirius sat, silent as Rhea held Remus' hand, white as he bent over and smoothed her matted hair from her forehead. Standing, Mars Lupin pressed a kiss to her forehead and said, "I'm going to go find Llewllyn, Rhea. Drink this and I'll be back soon."
She nodded, drinking the vial he handed her, and the moment he left she sighed and said, "Oh, my baby, I'm so glad you're here. I missed you."
Nodding, his jaw tight, Remus murmured, "I missed you too Mum. I was worried about you. I told you it was a baby; I told you."
"Of course you did, Remus," she muttered, her eyes falling closed. "You look just like your father, darling. I thought I was seeing young Mars when you came in. I love you, my baby."
There were tears in Remus' eyes when Dai Llewllyn came back in, alone. "She fell asleep? Good. I sent your dad up to get some coffee. He's going to pass out soon too, at the rate he's going."
"What happened?" Remus asked, silver eyes boring into the man.
Shifting, Dai shrugged, "Lupin will kill me if he knows I told you. But you have a right to know, and you're certainly old enough to now. It was a miscarriage, that was obvious. She's had one before, so I'm sure she knew what it was, but she might not have realized it until it was too late. A lot of people think they're going into labour during a miscarriage. I don't know what happened, because she won't talk about it. But she couldn't stop it, and it wouldn't stop. I'm still not certain what exactly happened, but she started haemorrhaging.
"Your father found her, not long after it happened would be my guess, but she had lost quite a bit of blood and had passed out by the time he found her. Now, I've known your father for years, Remus, and I can honestly say I've never seen him so panicked in my life. Thank Merlin he had the sense not to try to move her. He came, got me, and then he snapped and starting babbling about blood and Rhea and the baby and you. But he found her soon enough that there shouldn't be any lasting damage. She should be fine, but she'll be weak for weeks, if not months, yet. She's strong, and she has the will to live. I have no doubt that she'll manage to pull through."
A soft, dangerously calm voice came from behind Dai, who whirled around to see a very white Mars Lupin, "I said I didn't want him to know what happened, Llewllyn."
Holding his hands up, Dai looked levelly at the man and said, "I told him less than Rhea would have if he had asked her when you weren't around. He has every right to know."
"I know that," Mars Lupin snapped, his eyes darting from the blond man to his wife. "But he doesn't need to know now, for Merlin's sake, Llewllyn."
Understanding the fierce pallor of the man's face, he frowned and said, "Lupin, she'll be fine. Stop worrying, and go home and get some sleep. We're not going to let anything happen to her."
In any other situation the three Marauders present would have found it amusing how Mars Lupin growled at the man, but now it was anything but. "Shove it, Llewllyn. I'd like to see you not worry if it was Gwen here."
Knowing the words were not meant to wound, Llewllyn clapped the man on the shoulder and said, "I know, Lupin. But still. I'm going to owl her dad and have him come and drag you home long enough to get some sleep."
Turning he left, and Remus looked up and said, "Grandpa? Dad, he's not going to let you stay if he comes."
"That's exactly why Llewllyn is doing it," Mars Lupin replied. "And he won't let you stay either, Remus. Not unless he's here too."
Managing a weak smile, Remus looked over at where his mother lay, eyes shut in slumber. Looking at where James and Sirius were standing, he nodded and said, "I'm going to go walk Sirius and James out. I'll be back in a few minutes."
The other two nodded in silence, James leaning over, pressing a kiss to her cheek and smiling sorrowfully at his friend's father, he turned to follow Sirius and Remus. At the door Remus stopped, turning back towards where his mother lay, and his eyes closing in unspoken agony as he saw his father, head in his hands as his shoulders trembled ever so slightly with barely restrained tears. Sirius reached out and grasped Remus' shoulder again, saying thickly, "She's going to be okay."
Remus nodded and said hoarsely, "Yeah. See you in a few days."
Nodding, eyes sorrowful, Sirius headed towards the fireplace that would floo them back to Hogwarts. Reaching over, James embraced Remus briefly, his voice as hoarse as the werewolf's, "It'll be okay Moony. Dai won't let anything happen to her. See you soon Remus."
"See you Prongs," Remus said, eyes glossy as he waved slightly and turned to return to where his mother and father would be.
Sirius looked at James, who shook his head and said, "Come on, Padfoot, Lily said she'd wait for us."
Nodding, the two walked in silence back to the common room, where Lily stood up and ran over to them the moment they entered. She kissed James quickly and flung her arms around Sirius, who looked stunned, and said gently, "Oh, you're back. Good, I was beginning to get worried. And it's late, so you two had best go upstairs. I was waiting to make sure you got back okay."
Looking down at her, James cupped her neck and kissed her, a fiery, passionate kiss that had Sirius turning away and groaning. When he broke away, Lily stared at him with wide eyes. Brushing a hand over her cheek, he grabbed Sirius by the wrist and pulled him up the stairs to their dormitory, "Goodnight Lilyflower. See you in the morning."
He left Lily standing, stunned, in the common room, where she stood still as a statue for nearly ten minutes before dashing up the stairs and throwing herself in bed, a dazed look still on her face.
James sat, looking anxiously up at the windows of the Great Hall. Sliding into the seat beside him, Lily poked him and asked, "What are you looking for, James?"
"A letter from Remus. He said he would let me know how his mum's doing."
As he spoke an owl swooped down and James reached up and grabbed it, catching the small, and rather old, owl in his hands and unravelling the letter tied to its leg. Sirius leaned over the table and hissed, "What does it say Prongs?"
Shoving Sirius back, laughing as he grabbed onto Peter to keep from falling, James snapped playfully, "Hold on and let me read it first!"
He scanned the letter and smiled, his whole face showing the relief of good news. Sirius laughed in relief and Peter asked anxiously, "What happened? How is she?"
"She's doing better. He said that she's going home tomorrow. His granddad's there, and he said he's been keeping him and his dad too busy to really worry. And he said that his dad's gone back to work, so that's a good sign."
With a snort, Sirius shook his head, "Moony's dad is never not working. Thank Merlin, she's okay. So he's coming back?"
"Day after tomorrow. He wants to make sure Miss Rhea's okay before he comes back. He said his granddad's taken out the wedding pictures again."
Laughing a loud, raucous burst of laughter, Sirius shook his head, "Merlin, Moony's having fun. I haven't seen those in years."
Grinning, James shook his head, "You have no idea, Padfoot. It was so much fun. Merlin, I still remember it perfectly. Miss Rhea looked gorgeous."
Winking roguishly, Sirius said, "Miss Rhea always looks gorgeous."
Snorting loudly, Lily threw a piece of bacon at him and said, "Sirius Black! That's your friend's mum you're talking about like that!"
James began to laugh as Sirius attempted to look dejected. Laughing, the four left the Great Hall.
Lily sat, leaning against James' chest as his arms wrapped around her waist, laughing as Gideon and Marlene bickered playfully. Rolling his eyes, Sirius threw himself across Lily and James' legs, beaming up at them and pouting, "Play with me?"
Bursting out in happy laughter, she shoved Sirius, giggling as he rolled down the grass and as Peter danced after him, laughing as well. Lily jumped to her feet as a voice came from behind them, "Good Merlin, Padfoot, what are you doing?"
"Remus!" she squealed, running up to him and flinging her arms around the boy. "You're back!"
Laughing as he pried her from around his neck, he sat beside James and asked, "So, why did your girlfriend just try to squeeze the life out of me Prongs?"
Chuckling, James pulled Lily back between his legs, laughing as she fidgeted restlessly. Looking curiously at her, he asked with a laugh, "What made you so fidgety today, Lilyflower?"
Winking at them, Gideon rolled onto his back and placed his head in Marlene's lap, teasing, "Oh, she's always like that. Wait till you see her late at night."
Eyes darkening, James demanded, "When did you see my girlfriend late at night, Prewett?"
"Oh, come off it Potter," Gideon snorted. "I practically live at Marlene's. And Lily has stayed over there tons since first year."
Marlene laughed helplessly and nodded, agreeing with the statement. Snorting, Remus raised an eyebrow curiously, "Well, now, if we're done examining the life of Lily Evans. What else has happened? Prongs, please tell me you took notes."
James blanched and smiled sheepishly while Remus groaned. Reaching out, Lily patted the boy's hand and soothed, "Don't worry, Remus, I took notes. I'll give you a copy of them after dinner, okay? And Gideon can give you his notes for potions, because you're not in N.E.W.T.S. potions. And we need to start studying for N.E.W.T.S., they're nearly here."
Sirius moaned from where he lay, sprawled on the grass with his arms and legs fanned out. Gideon nodded emphatically. "I've got to go with Black on this one, Lily. We have two bloody months until exams. Give it a rest."
Turning to James for support, Lily stressed, "But two months is nothing Gid. We're going to die if we don't start studying soon."
Rolling his eyes, Sirius growled gruffly, "Oh, come off it Lily. You'll pass all your exams with flying colours even if you don't study. Can't you just let it go?"
"Let it go!" Lily cried shrilly.
Sirius winced and James grabbed his girlfriend, holding her firmly and soothing, "Wrong thing to say, Padfoot. It's okay Lilyflower. We'll study, I promise. Don't worry about them. If they want to study, they can. You, Moony, and I'll study, don't worry."
Remus snorted and Marlene leaned over and whispered to Sirius, "Those three have been doing an awful lot together since the beginning of the year. Since they started those patronus lessons."
Nodding, Sirius whispered back, "Yeah, I know. But that won't last long. Watch the master, McKinnon. Watch the master at work."
Rolling onto his side, Sirius looked at Lily and said, "Fine, you win Lily. We'll study with you. Right Wormtail?"
Squeaking in surprise, Peter grinned and nodded. Lily smiled fondly at the boy, and at Sirius, and she reached out and ruffled his hair. Since the end of last term Sirius and Lily had grown close, closer than anyone had expected. Gideon looked away and Marlene leaned over and grasped his hand, saying gently, "You know she still loves you, Gideon. Sirius is just closer, what with her and James and all."
Nodding curtly, Gideon grinned, "I know Marlene."
And Marlene looked at him and wondered if, for all his talk, he really knew. And she wondered if she even knew anymore.
The owl flew before Lily and she grabbed the letter, laughing as she stroked the owl's downy feathers and dodged a biscuit thrown by Sirius. Evading Gideon's poking finger and opening the letter easily, her bright green eyes flew over the paper and the light went out from her eyes. A cold, hollow look replaced the vivacious life that had filled them and her pretty face went hard and pale as she stood. James frowned as Marlene reached out for Lily, grasping her friend's arm and asking quietly, "Lily? What is it? What happened?"
Throwing the letter violently at her best friend, Lily cried, anger badly hiding the tears, "I hate her! I hate her! Let her marry the fat idiot! I don't care!"
She stalked off, her body erect and rigid as she flung herself from the Great Hall. James stood, freezing as Marlene shook her head, saying quickly, "No, James, wait. I think this is about her sister. We should wait."
Gideon's eyes were dark with anger as he shredded the letter icily, standing and shrugging, "I could kill that bony woman right now. I'll talk to her, Marlene, sit down. You know she doesn't like talking to you about it. Come up later, will you?"
Marlene nodded, her eyes following Gideon as he stood and walked out, not moving even as James exclaimed angrily, "Why the bloody hell did you let him go? I'm her boyfriend for Merlin's sake! I should go talk to her!"
Reaching out and placing a soft hand on James', restraining him as she looked at him beseechingly, "James, don't. You don't understand. Lily's sister isn't like other people. She hates Lily, jealous I think, and she's taken it out on Lily for the past seven years. This year she hasn't, because she's been busy with her fiancée, so you wouldn't understand. Petunia has never let Lily get away with coming here in peace. She's not natural about it. Her hits are low and cruel. Think about it, this is the day Lily and her sister planned for eleven years, and Petunia has refused to let her come because she's a witch! How could you comfort her when you've only once met Petunia, and have never spoken to her? You don't know what kind of things she's capable of."
"Then why does she care!" James demanded hotly, glaring at Marlene.
Marlene looked at Sirius, who knew what familial exile was, and she said softly, "James, jealous or not, Petunia is still Lily's sister. Petunia is still the one who Lily spent the first eleven years of her life trying to live up to and the past seven trying to console. To her it's like if one of the Marauders turned on you."
"It would never happen," James said firmly, crossing his arms in protest. "It couldn't happen. Nobody would ever do that."
Eyes soft and sad, Marlene shook her head and stood, "That's exactly what Lily's sister did to her. That's what Lily has to live with."
Sirius stood up abruptly and said, "Alright, enough Marlene. Where the bloody hell would Lily and Gideon be? I want to talk to her. Come on Prongs. Moony, Wormtail, you coming or not?"
Standing, Marlene motioned for them to follow her. It was sight, the strong woman stepping forward, flanked by the four Marauders. And they found her quickly, for Marlene knew her best friends well. And the sight shook the Marauders to the core. Lily Evans, strong, vibrant Lily, curled up in the corner, head buried in her arms as Gideon rubbed her back, silent as she sniffed back sobs. Dark eyes narrowing, Sirius slapped his books into James' chest and knelt before her, grasping her hands and saying softly, "Lily. Look at me."
With a sniff, she obeyed, revealing red eyes and tear-streaked cheeks. "She doesn't deserve you. Don't let her hurt you."
"Stop it Sirius!" Lily cried. "You should know how much it hurts! Pretend it doesn't all you want, you know it hurts when your family looks at you like filth because you're different from them! And I don't even have the benefit of knowing that I'm the bigger person."
Sirius froze. She had him there. It had hurt, and he had progressed past it with exactly that in mind, that he was leaving them for something greater than family acceptance. Taking her face in his hands, Gideon wiped the tears from her cheeks and kissed her forehead, saying gently, "We love you, Lily, never forget that. Even that idiot Potter, who's probably wanting to kill me for kissing you. We're right here whenever you need us, just like you are for us. But if you want us to leave, just let us know. We won't push you."
Turning into his arms, Lily nodded, managing hoarsely, "I want to hate her, so much, but I can't. I just wish she didn't hate me. Or that it didn't hurt this much."
Kneeling down behind Gideon, James brushed a gentle hand over her hair, eyes locking on hers as he said softly, "You don't need her approval. She may be your blood, but that doesn't make her family. Your family's right here. Us. You don't need anything else, we'll take of you."
Her lips quivered and tears fell from her eyes as she nodded, burying her face in Gideon's shoulder as she began to cry again. Still kneeling, James felt his head spin. Ten minutes ago she had been laughing at Sirius. Ten minutes ago her green eyes had sparkled with laughter. And now even reassurance brought tears to those green eyes. Running a hand over his eyes, he remembered words his father had spoken what seemed like years ago. Being able to call a happy memory can always have its uses.He hadn't imagined his father would be so brutally correct. And slowly, gently, he took Lily from Gideon, whispering in her ear, "The patronus Lily, remember the patronus."
The patronus, Lily thought, the tears slowly receding as she thought of all the times she, Remus, and James had laughed in their pathetic attempts at conjuring patronuses, I haven't even thought about that in the longest time. James, how did I get lucky enough to find you?
The patronus, James thought, feeling her relax as he rubbed her back in gentle circles, remembering Lily's eternal frustration with the patronus with a smile, how does Dad know these things are going to come in handy? Lily, I'm the luckiest man alive to have you.
