Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist belongs to Arakawa….not me.
Ed: I brought Al.
Me: -smiles- Perfect.
Al: What are we gonna do?
Me: Well, Al-who-now-has-his-body-back, you and your brother are the main characters in my story…Ed, I gave you the rundown. Al follow your brother's lead.
Al: Ok….I am so gonna regret this….
Ed: Hey, everyone! Edward Elric here! Since Conqueror of Shambala is coming out next month, Al and me decided to clear something up!
Al: Yup! What is it, brother?
Ed: It's about our house, Al.
Al: Our house?
Ed: Yea. You see, we really didn't burn it down. It was an accident.
Al: An accident? How?
Ed: It was right after you lost your body and I got my auto-mail….
Flashback
Ed: Man, oh man Al… am I so damn bored!
Al: Your right…What do you want to do…
Ed: I dunno…OH! I know! I'll be right back!
Al: Ok…
-With Ed-
Ed was walking on the streets of Resembool. He walked down an alleyway and met some random guy there.
Random guy: Hey Ed, what are you up to?
Ed: Random guy, I need some weed.
Random guy: You have come to the right place. How much do you want?
Ed: Hmmmm… Three little bags should be enough.
Random guy: You got it.
Ed: -Laughs evilly-
-With Al-
Al was pacing, ok he was more clunking than anything else, waiting for his brother. Ed walked into the door, carrying a lighter in his auto-mail hand.
Al: Brother! Why do you have a lighter?
Ed: Marijuana. We're gonna get HIGH!
Al: High? HIGH? Should I call Winry?
Ed: NO! WINRY IS A LITTLE WHORE!
Al: Ok….So how are we gonna get high?
Ed: Smoke it.
So, Ed got Al's pott ready and gave it to his brother. Al looked at the blunt (that's what their called…I think) and then looked at his brother.
Al: Ed? I can't smoke this.
Ed looked at his brother and thought for a moment.
Ed: I know! Just put it inside of you. I'm sure the fumes will get to you.
Al: OK!
And Al put the blunt inside his armor. After a while the Elric brothers were quite high when…MUSTANG SHOWED UP!
Ed: OH MY GOD…ITS THAT GUY THAT LIKE WAS TALKING TO AUNT PINAKO WHEN LIKE I WAS UNCONSCIOUS LIKE A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO MAN…
Al: HES A MILITARY GUY! BROTHER I KNOW WHAT WE CAN CALL HIM?
Ed: What?
Al: MISTER MILITARY MAN!
Roy: Right…
Ed: Hey, Mister Military Man, why don't you join us in our…pott circle.
Roy: OK!
Ed gave Roy a blunt and Roy started to get high when…the author snapped her fingers and…(A/N: pick someone, LINK! Link: -whispers into ear- A/N:Thanks!) SEPHIROTH FROM FF7 APPEARS!
Sephiroth: Who are you? Why am I here?
Ed: Ummmm… Wanna come and smoke some weed?
Sephiroth: Er… Ok.
After a while the foursome was completely high and didn't know what to do with themselves when one of them came up with an idea!
Al: I know! Lets play truth or dare!
Ed: OK! SEPHY, LIKE YOU SHOULD SO GO FIRST!
Sephiroth: Don't call me "Sephy." But… ok umm…Alphonse, truth or dare?
Al: TRUTH!
Sephiroth: Ok, are you in love with Winry?
Al: Um… Well…I…. Um….YES! I LOVE WINRY AND I WANT TO MARRY HER!
Ed: Whoa…Man that's like total tabloid juice dude.
Roy: Tabloid juice?
Ed: Fuck you.
Al: My turn…Mister Military Man, truth or dare?
Roy: Dare!
Al: I dare you to sing a Disney song!
Roy: OK! What song?
Al: AND… you have to do an interpretive dance!
Roy: I don't dance.
Ed: CHICKEN!
Roy: Grr….FINE! WHICH SONG!
Al: Arabian Nights from Aladdin!
Roy: DAMN YOU!
So, Roy got up and started to dance as music started to randomly play in the background and he started to sing this song that popped into my head when I woke up this morning.
Roy: Oh I come from a land, from a faraway place
Where the caravan camels roam
Where they cut off your ear
If they don't like your face
Its barbaric, but hey its home!
When the winds from the east
And the sun from the west
And the sand in the glass is right
Come on down
Stop on by
Hop a carpet and fly
To another Arabian night
Arabian nights
Like Arabian days
More often than not
Are hotter than hot
In a lot of good ways
Arabian nights
'Neath Arabian moons
A fool off his guard
Could fall and fall hard
Out there one the dunes…
Ed: Wow, man…
Roy: Shut the fuck up. Ok Sephiroth, your turn, truth or dare?
Sephiroth: Truth man.
Roy: Why is your hair so long?
Sephiroth thought about this for a moment. He cocked his head to the right then the left. Then he answered.
Sephiroth: Don't know. I guess its all Hojo's fault. And that's the truth. I like my long, beautiful, silver hair so don't cut it! But…Edward, truth or dare?
Ed: Dare man, I laugh in the face of danger… HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Sephiroth smiled his really sexy smile (yes I think his smile in Advent Children is sexy) and looked at Mustang then at Ed.
Sephiroth: I dare you to french kiss Mister Military Man!
Ed: I am so gonna regret this dude.
Ed walked over to Mustang and got on his knees and looked at Mustang. He put his hands on Mustang's cheek and started to kiss him. Ed moved his tounge around Mustang's mouth and felt the roof of his mouth. There was only one word that came to Ed's mind: "Ew." Well, Ed had put his blunt near a curtain and the curtain caught fire.
Sephiroth: Do you smell smoke?
Ed pulled back and looked around.
Ed: Yea… The house is on fire!
And the four ran out of the Elric family home. Mustang and Sephiroth looked at each other then they ran away. Ed sighed and put out his pott. Al did as well.
Al: What do we do now brother?
Ed: I'll show you.
So Ed and Al got torches and stood in front of the house so Resembool would think they burnt down their house on purpose (yea right).
But sometime later….
Hohenheim: Edward, how DID our house burn down?
Ed: Um….Rabid squirrels burnt it down.
Hohenheim: Heh, yea right.
End flashback
Ed: And that's how it happened.
Al: Oh yea…I remember that now. I wonder whatever happened to that Sephiroth guy?
And at that very moment Sephiroth was getting his ass kicked by Cloud Strife.
Ed: Anyway…I hope you all enjoyed the truth and GO AND SEE CONQUEROR OF SHAMBALA!
Ed: -brushing his teeth- you evil bitch you…
Me: sorry Edward. I still love you.
Ed: yea right. I cant believe you made me kiss Mustang. And why did Sephiroth show up?
Me: I don't know. I was running out of ideas. So…Sephiroth belongs to the Final Fantasy people. I wish it was as funny as I hoped it to be.
Oscar: Its fine. So…anything else to say?
Me: oh yea…(spoiler ahead) R.I.P CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW! WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Oscar: um…read and review or Mustang will burn you all!
