The obese Chihuahua looked as if it was attempting a break-dancing routine. Jaye watched it scrabble about, trying to gain traction on the glazed tile with its paws as it spun about on its freakishly large belly. Finally, she realized the dog was just trying to get to its feet.
With a wheeze and a squeaky flatulent toot, the dog gained its footing and stood up. It looked up at Jaye and let its tongue roll out of its mouth.
Linny clapped. "Thatagirl," she cheered. The dog shuffled to her and licked the instep of her bare right foot.
Squinting against the dog's gas, Jaye looked at Linny. "About last night…" she started.
"Oh, never mind about last night. Look, I apologize about the bartender."
Jaye had started to say something, but stopped. "You do?"
Linny bent down and picked up the dog, which promptly farted once airborne. Waving her hand and smiling, Linny kissed the dog.
"Yes. I mean, I don't know if you two have something going on, but when I saw that look on your face last night, I couldn't help myself. The competition, you know. Grew up with three sisters, and they would steal your last tube of lipstick while you were putting some on. Bad habit of mine. If someone even looks like they think they want something, I'll take it just because I can.
"But then getting soaked, seeing Sherry again, having the bartender tell me to leave, getting my car whacked, well, just kinda took the wind out of me, which, trust me, is hard to do. So I just came home and crashed."
Jaye cleared her throat and held back happy tears. Eric told this man-mauler to leave? Can potential boyfriends get any better? She decided not, in spite of her serious lack of comparisons. Then she realized Linny was still speaking and focused back on the woman.
"And this little sweetie woke me with a tongue bath, ruining a perfectly good romantic dream. After she fell out of the bed, I've done nothing since except play with her and make sure she's all right." She held the dog up to her face, and the Chihuahua lapped at Linny's nose.
Jaye paused to digest the hyper ramblings. She realized she might have the angle she needed to follow the vague orders of the critters.
"Yeah, about your romance. Are you serious about my sister or the other way around or what?" The last word came out harsh and complimented the adrenaline surge Jaye felt as she imagined bouncing Linny down the lawn and into the street.
Pulling the little dog away from her face, Linny gasped, and her eyes widened. "Your sister? Oh, no, no, no." She laughed.
Stepping closer, Jaye said, "Does Sharon know you feel this way? Maybe I should tell her." Or maybe I ought to go straight to kicking your ass, she thought.
"You think Sherry and I are dating? No, no, not since, oh, the first time she stuck her head out of the clichéd closet."
Jaye shook her head. "Wait. You're telling me that there's nothing going on between you and her?"
Linny shook her head and asked, "Would you like something to drink? I think we need to chat about Sherry."
"Sharon."
Linny smiled in such a way that made Jaye feel almost uncomfortable. "Trust me. There's a very good reason Sherry is the best name for your sister."
