Chapter 23: Confusion, Decisions and Determination


A/N: I do not own the Naruto Franchise!

I do however own Mari Kaede and any other OCs mentioned.

Warnings: Contains dark themes, such as depression, murder, experimentation, emotional, mental and physical torture, possible attempted suicide and mentions of sexual activities!

Hey guys, here's another new chapter for you, I got really inspired by my newest BHBL One-Shot and chapter, so I thought I'd get this chapter finished too! It's only short, but it has a BIG impact on the story!

Enjoy!


Smoke erupted outside of the Otogakure hideout as Kabuto, Kaede and Orochimaru appeared from their most recent battle against the other members of the Sannin. Orochimaru was being held up by his right-hand man with his useless, bleeding arm slung over the teen's shoulder, while Kaede stayed crouched on the ground, catching her breath so she didn't black out the moment she stood up.

It took so much of her energy just to move thanks to that bastard Jiraiya.

With the Shunshin no Jutsu they just used and the distance it carried them, their combined Chakra had depleted to almost zero, leaving them weak and vulnerable for the most part. Kabuto had to assist Orochimaru down the steps into the hideout as the Sannin was drifting in and out of consciousness now that the adrenaline had worn off and Kaede managed to muster her energy to stand. But she only made it down a few steps before she had to lean against the wall and catch her breath again, her throat still burning painfully.

'Damn...' She thought as she continued down, her hand against the concrete surface for safety until she got through the door. Their leader and his subordinate vanished into the snake shinobi's room, and a few minutes later, Kaede passed said room to go to her own which was down this corridor and around the corner.

However the numbing sensation mixed with dwindling adrenaline made movement difficult and she accidentally tripped over her own foot, stumbling forward before she landed on her knees with a curse. The Ninjutsu Expert remained there, breathing hard as she stared down at the floor, where her sweat dripped down and made contact with the stone.

She had never fought so hard in her life, looking back at the event, she didn't even understand why she wanted to fight in the first place. Yes, it had been a while since her last serious battle, but no sane person would go looking for an all-out brawl to the death. She was starting to question her sanity, ten years of torment had to have taken it's toll on her mental health, after all.

With a click of the tongue, she slowly got back on her feet and staggered around the corner and into her room, where she closed the door and leaned against the back of it, running her fingers through her hair. 'Even if I hadn't wanted t'fight, I would've had t'anyway...It didn't matter what side I chose, I would've still come out the loser.' She thought as she closed her eyes and her breathing started to relax a little.

If she had fought on Orochimaru's side, he would have survived and she would only further increase her list of crimes, though, at this point, she didn't care what she had to do, as long as it would end with her revenge.

However, if she had fought on the other side with Jiraiya and Naruto, she may have finally killed him, but she would have been locked up in a cell and maybe even put to death. After all, she was likely an S-rank criminal by now, since the battle with Sarutobi Hiruzen.

Before the ten years she spent in this hell-hole, being locked up would not have bothered her, but because of those terrible events, the mere thought made her shiver and her breathing and heart rate elevate with fear. She opened her eyes slightly and clenched her fist in her hair, sending small inklings of pain through her scalp.

She clicked her tongue. Though she hated the mere thought of being on the Snake Sannin's side, she would have to bear with it for a little longer, until the opportunity arrived for her to end his life.

'But y'saved his life...'

Her eyes widened suddenly and her entire body stiffened up when those words hit her like a thousand shurikens. The moment she put herself at risk to stop Tsunade's sneak-attack came to mind and the reasoning behind her actions also came to light. In that split-second, just before she moved, she remembered that he had saved her life when the Second Hokage's Suiton would have swept her up and her body moved on its own, forming seals without her command.

She had betrayed her own ambitions with a moment of sudden emotion she was not sure she had a label for, nor did she want to give it a label.

With a soft curse, the redhead pushed off the door and stepped forward to enter the nearby bathroom to wash away the filth, grime and disgusting actions that plagued her. However her knees buckled after the first two steps and she fell, catching herself on the mattress of her bed so she didn't hurt herself too badly.

"Dammit! Look's like I ain't going anywhere..." She hissed out, looking up at the nightstand, staring at her precious Icha-Icha book which waited patiently in it's spot for her to return and read its pages. She didn't understand why the images of recent kindness and rescue bothered her so much, even a monster could act kind out of image alone.

Even then, Orochimaru didn't act kind for anything, he was a liar, but bluntly honest when he desired it, therefore any act of heroism or humanity was questionable and a complete surprise. He had given her back her precious book and had rescued her, twice, all because she was useful to him.

Why?! Why was she useful to him? Why did the thought not anger her as much as it did before? Why did his actions not make her sick to her stomach?!

She ground her teeth together as her anger began to rise and she got to her feet, sitting down on the end of her bed as she glared at the wall opposite her. She was sick of her confusing thoughts and actions, she was sick of thinking about him and she knew there was only one way to banish the inner turmoil for good.

She would finally kill him once and for all!

With little argument from the rational part of her brain, her eyes darkened and her lips curled into a twisted, cruel smirk. The next chance she came across to end him, she would grasp it with both hands and never let go. With his current condition, she couldn't lose, she would defeat him and take his life, ridding the world of his poison!

Suddenly her thoughts were interrupted and she jumped from shock when three soft knocks were heard on the other side of her door. "Kaede-chan?" Kabuto's voice echoed, muffled by the wood. Kaede rolled her eyes with irritation, she could hear that false sense of politeness in his words, and honestly, the suffix wasn't appreciated either. "May I enter?"

"Whatever, it ain't like I can stop y'right now." The Redhead croaked, coughing from the pain of raising her voice. Kabuto opened the door and stepped inside, visibly exhausted from the fight and the attempts made to heal Orochimaru back to full health.

"Orochimaru-sama is resting, so I saw it fit to tend to your injuries as well." The young medic said, and Kaede sighed, waving her hand dismissively.

"I ain't doing that badly, keep your Medical Ninjutsu t'yourself." However, she winced when her muscles contracted from overuse. 'Dammit, why now?!' Now that her adrenaline had worn off, the fatigue was kicking in as well.

"Hm, as true as that may be, Orochimaru-sama won't be pleased if you take too long to recover. He doesn't like to have too many of his pawns rendered useless, you see." Kabuto said, the first part of his sentence dripping with sarcasm, but the serious end is what made the older woman look at him again.

Kabuto didn't wait for permission and began to heal her more apparent injuries, the burns, cuts, and damage to her throat and the back of her neck being his main priorities. "If I remember correctly, you had a robe and sandals before the battle." He pointed out with a smirk of amusement. "Thanks to your sloppiness, I think new ones are in order."

Kaede blinked and glanced over at him before she laughed and gave him a bold, cheeky grin. "It ain't my fault I burst into flames!" She started, eyes gleaming with hatred, not matching up with her fake smile. "Blame your asshole for a leader! I wouldn't need to take off my robe and shoes if he hadn't screwed up my genes!" The Redhead looked down at the back of her hand, where a thick scar marred her once-smooth skin. "Just be happy I even came along! I only did it for the exercise..."

Kabuto chuckled, his own irises filled with suspicion as he finished healing her and stood up. "Is that so?" He asked mockingly, placing a hand on his hip as Kaede glanced over, seeing the limb shake with exertion. He had long past his limits. "Well, be that as it may, as Orochimaru-sama is in no fit state to speak with you directly, I must show gratitude on his behalf."

"Eh? What for?" The Ninjutsu Expert's expression melted into confusion, he was...Thanking her?

"You alerted Orochimaru-sama about Tsunade's attack before I got there to distance them, then even went as far as using your Katon to put even more distance between them." He pushed his glasses up his nose, hiding his eyes from view as the candlelight bounced off the lenses. "If you hadn't acted, I may have been too late."

Kaede's eyes widened slowly as his words processed in her tired mind, she then huffed and smirked, looking away to avoid showing the irritation that darkened her already dark eyes. "Don't mention it..." She then shot him a grin, and spoke with a light, teasing tone. "Just don't expect a replay~ I don't give out help for free!"

Kabuto smirked and moved his head slightly, revealing one of his eyes which were cold and calculating, seeing through her fake cheer and words with ease. "That attitude of your's will put you in some rather sticky situations if you aren't careful..." He warned before he turned and left the room, in need of rest.

The redhead watched him leave before she clicked her tongue and grimaced at the closed door. He was getting suspicious of her, she needed to act fast, she had little time to put her plans into action.

As soon has her Chakra had replenished, she would start training.

With that, she picked up her book with a shaking hand and opened it to the page she had last read, though the odd bookworm was only able to read to the end of the chapter, as her fatigue got the best of her and her eyes drooped shut once or twice. Knowing she needed to sleep, she placed the hardback Icha-Icha novel onto her chest and closed her eyes with a soft sigh.

She would relax while she had the chance, because soon...All hell would break loose.

~BHBL~

Late in the night, an agonizing wail of pain tore through the silence falling over Otogakure as the many ninjas inside slept, preparing for their next mission, or recovering from one they had just returned from. The source of the scream came from none other than the Otokage's room. He laid there, eyes squeezed shut as he gripped the blankets beneath his bandaged hands, pain wracking his entire body from both the curse inflicted on him and the throb in his semi-healed jaw.

He opened his eyes and glared up at the ceiling, Kabuto must have been asleep, otherwise, he would have barged in to check on him seconds after he yelled, so there was no chance of getting any pain medication to lessen the ache. Not that it mattered, he hated that vile concoction anyway.

"Curse you Jiraiya, Tsunade...Sarutobi!" He hissed venomously as he forced himself to sit up, staring down at his burning arms as they trembled. He would need a new body soon to save his sanity from the aftermath of Sarutobi's final Jutsu.

Orochimaru panted as he glared at the wooden door of his room, his yellow eyes glowing with determination and unwavering resolve. This would not end him, he was immortal, and his plans would come to fruition!

'Even if the tree hasn't fully matured, it is still able to grow leaves...' He thought as he smirked, licking his dry lips at the thought. 'I will grasp those leaves before my own decay and fall!'

Whatever the cost...


A/N: And there you have it! Things are moving swiftly now, and The next few chapters are going to be really vital to the story, so I can't wait to write them! Soon I'll reach the end of my planning from 2016 and will have to start planning the story five chapters at a time, so wish me luck!

Please review, all comments and criticism help me become a better writer!

Japanese = English

Otogakure = Hidden Village of Sound

Otokage = Sound Shadow

Shunshin no Jutsu = Body Flicker Technique

Katon = Fire Release

Suiton = Water Release

Thanks for reading!