A/N: this AU probably doesn't make sense at all, though I'm a little surprised that I even finished writing it. I hope this is as self-indulgent to anyone out there as it is for me, haha.
TRIGGER WARNINGS - death, self-sacrifice/suicide, trauma, panic attack and implied suicidal thoughts.
Edward wasn't sure what to expect from this one last sacrifice. He was willing to accept his fate, whatever it was, as long as it would try to bring his little brother back to life. Alphonse was worth more than alchemy and quite literally everything else.
But Ed woke up.
Not in London.
Not in the Gate.
It's the same tall theater stained with blood and unjust justice.
Maybe nothing happened.
…
There's someone grunting, but it's not Rose, and it's not Wrath.
Ed rushes after the first lump on the floor he sees, until it comes to him that it's not just a lump. He stops like he was frozen by some ice alchemist, like he was in the middle of the battlefield and was detected, and he should stay quiet to stay alive. He hides his mouth behind his hands – his right arm skinned, not metallic, he reminds himself –, to shut any commemoration or terror. Indeed, he's not sure what to even conclude from here.
The lump is small like a baby, it has dark blond hair that goes everywhere, it's sometimes more rebellious than Ed's even if it doesn't look like it. He hasn't seen these colors in years.
It's like Ed used a time machine and went back to the same day they tried to bring their mother back to life.
It…
It worked?
No. It doesn't make sense. He knows there's nothing to celebrate. The Gate must have taken something. Alchemy is not fair and has never been fair. If it hasn't taken something out of Ed, then…
The tiny body on the floor makes noises like it's a child having a nightmare. Ed realizes he's already beside said child, his arms hovering over them, but unsure what to do at all. He's scared he's going to break them again, that he might lose them with just one touch. The child, however, tries to stand up on their own, and Ed cannot help the instinct of grabbing them before they get hurt.
It's so warm…
"Mmm…" They melt at the touch. "Mom?"
Ed could have yelled, but he truly does not have any words. It's like he's died again.
Maybe he is dead, there is no way…
The moment green eyes meet his, it feels like a dream. An unreachable, nonsensical dream.
Problem is…
The younger boy gasps at him. "W-Who are you?"
Ed opens his mouth, but nothing dares come out.
The child – Al. Al, Al, Al. Alphonse. Alphonse Elric – looks at their surroundings, gradually growing more confused and scared, because… he's not the same boy inside the armor.
He is the boy that tried to transmute his dead mother because his older brother was too selfish.
It only becomes more obvious.
That's what the Gate took. Al's memories. All of them. It's like he was never revived in an armor. But that's not a good thing.
Because Al is scared. He's just a child.
"Where am I? What's going on?" Al insists. He's cowering himself away from Ed.
"… Al…" That's the one word Ed can get out, his brain still processing all the information.
The boy has started crying. Shaking.
Ed tries to reach him, but Al only flinches away.
"G-Get away from me!" Al yells and runs.
"Al!"
The boy is about to get lost in an entire town underground, with no memories of anything, no memories of all the experiences they went through.
Ed feels awful for doing this, but he claps his hands together and traps Al, who fights really hard to break out. He starts yelling.
"Let me out! LET ME OUT!" Al begs.
"No, Al. You're gonna get hurt."
"W-Why do you care?!"
Despite the tone and the stress, Ed doesn't yell back at him. That's not going to work.
"… do you really not recognize me, Al?" He asks simply.
Al for once seems to realize that, and the more he looks at Ed, the more horrified he is.
"No…" Al shakes his head. "Brother?"
Ed doesn't reply.
His little brother only cries harder.
"Y-You're not my brother! Where is he?!" Al sobs. "I want my brother! I want my mom!"
Ed would've cried, but at this point he can't cry at all. Only when he felt Al's soul separating from his.
"I'm sorry, Al," Ed replies quietly.
Al begs, "I just want to go home. Please. Please take me home."
"… We don't have a home anymore."
Of course, that is no easy thing to say to a child that remembers nothing. He understands perfectly that Al is not going to accept this. Ed himself sometimes doesn't believe they have a home after they burned down their previous one.
Yet… there is something.
"But we can find another one, Al."
He realized that with Al, and Rose, and everyone else they knew. And maybe he just needs to really trust them so they can be home again.
Al has stopped wailing at this point, though he's crying in silence. Ed sighs and claps his hands again, letting Al go for once. At first, he fears Al might try to run away again, but he's a little surprised when he doesn't.
Ed approaches until he's allowed to squeeze Al's shoulder. Even though he wants to hug his baby brother like his life depends on it, he needs to respect the boy's space, too. There's too much to take in – for both of them.
But first, they need to get out of here.
And make sure they never, ever return.
"Let's go."
Despite everything, Al obeys.
Ed has so many questions.
Al has no idea how he woke up like this.
He'd almost believed that their transmutation attempt was a nightmare all along. He'd believed he would wake up the next morning with Mom comforting him with a nice cup of tea, and he and Ed would play by the river again.
But Al wakes up somewhere he clearly doesn't belong.
A teenager that looks so much like Ed is taking him to the surface – there's a whole lost civilization underground. Ed doesn't explain anything, though it's not like Al would get it right after waking up and finding out that no, the transmutation failed, and that's why he's much younger than Ed; the exchange costed his body, from what he could conclude.
Along the way, they cross paths with a girl with pink bangs named Rose, and a black-haired boy who has lost an arm and a leg, and at this point he's pretty much unconscious. Al notices… something about him. But he doesn't dare ask Ed or Rose.
When Al realizes, they're all back in Resembool, and Al only feels worse. Winry has also gotten older and she's with a brunette named Sheska. All of them know each other. They also seem to know Al; or at least the Al that used to belong here.
Everyone has questions.
None of them look at Al like he's a normal boy. It's like he's an experiment gone wrong.
Ed and Winry share whispers that Al can't quite understand.
After that, Rose goes to the Train station with Sheska, and Ed is on the phone with their teacher Izumi, while Al is at least able to play with Den. The dog seems to be the only one comfortable with his existence.
Al tries to listen to the conversation without Ed knowing. He's aware the phone stays somewhere near the kitchen, so he's at the living room, alone at the couch.
"… the Gate, I think it took Al's memories," Ed explains to Izumi, "but there's something wrong. I don't know how I didn't lose anything. I still have my arm and my leg." He pauses, and Al notices he suddenly grows more nervous. "N-No, I didn't see any Ouroboros on him. He doesn't look like them. It's like he was never in that armor."
Armor? He vaguely remembers that one armor they had at the basement, from their father's collection. Was that what happened? Was he pulled back in an armor?
"We've gotta keep an eye on him," Ed mumbles, like Al is some nuisance. "Yeah… Yeah, alright." He pauses. "Oh, uh… Wrath is alright, I think. Winry is helping him out with some automail. He'll be okay." Ed sighs, "There's a lot going on… I'm glad you're listening, teacher. I have no idea how we'll go from here…"
Ed vents some more to Izumi, and Den whines at Al's silence.
Suddenly, Al hears steps coming from the basement, and he instantly recognizes Winry's worried voice.
"W-Where are you going?" She asks, "Won't you stay?"
It's the black-haired boy. Is he Wrath?
Wrath walks with some difficulty as half of his limbs were replaced with automail, but he goes straight to the front door. Winry sighs in certain frustration. Apparently, she has been talking to Wrath the whole time, but he remains quiet.
"Listen, I'm not gonna stop you. Just… be safe out there, okay?" Winry begs. "Feel free to come back if you need repairs."
While stopping for a moment, Wrath simply walks away. Winry watches him go with a forlorn expression. She looks down and goes back to the basement in the house, not paying any mind to Al.
Al immediately has an idea.
But when he jumps off the couch, Den wants to follow him.
"Stay here, girl," he whispers to her, while looking to see if Ed might come out. No one is really paying him any attention. "I'll be right back, okay?" Al pets the dog.
Al gives her a smile and a shushing sign. He tries not to make much noise while near the Rockbell's, so when he's far away enough, Al runs. It'd be pretty easy to spot Wrath, or so he thinks.
Al doesn't find him in the open fields, so he assumes Wrath has gone into the wild. He goes in despite everything, and luckily, he finds out that Wrath has not gone too far.
"Hey! Wait up!" Al exclaims.
Wrath stops and turns around, frowning.
Al gulps at the other boy's expression. Wrath has very… intense purple eyes. But overall, he looks tired, and certainly not used to the metal arm and leg.
"Sorry, I… I woke up with no memories, so… I don't remember who you are, if we know each other," Al explains. "I couldn't help but hear you were going away."
Wrath – now that he wonders, why is he named this way? – listens the entire time, not saying a word.
"I-I don't know what's going on. No one seems to want me around," Al sniffs. "I thought I'd see my mom again, but she's… gone. And Brother, he looks like my big brother, but I don't know him." He pauses as to reflect on it. "This is supposed to be home, but… it's not. I don't belong here."
At this point Al is talking to himself, so he almost apologizes to Wrath because he must be in the way, but…
"… You don't have a family, do you?"
Wrath says it the most patiently Al has expected. Especially judging from his name.
Al shakes his head. "They say they are, but… they're not."
Wrath's frown softens, much to the other's surprise.
"I don't know where you're going, but…" Al hesitates, "I thought I'd go with you. Especially 'cause I don't want you to be alone out here."
The other boy makes a noise similar to a scoff, but it's not in much mockery.
"You can do whatever you want," Wrath tells him. "Just don't get in my way."
Although he wants to sound threatening, he really doesn't. And that's enough for Al to trust his word and join him.
Wrath and Al wander in the forest without a goal. It kind of brings Al back to the month he was stuck in that island with Ed. The only objective being to survive.
Al still has questions, though.
He opens his mouth but shuts it every single time, in fear of annoying Wrath. But he truly has no idea who Wrath is or… what he is. He doesn't look like anyone he knows. At least the other people he met today were… he doesn't know the right term for it. But Wrath is different, somehow.
They've walked for a while now, trespassing the waterfalls. They're probably farther from Resembool at this point. They haven't spoken since.
Al bites his lip and goes to catch the fish.
"Hey… Wrath?" He asks, "I wanted to ask, are you… a homunculus?"
That's the nearest answer Al thought of, judging by his clothing, his pale skin, and the violet eyes. Al remembers some things from the alchemy books they owned, even if most of them were vague so alchemists never sought the answers. Or well, that was the intention.
This whole time, Wrath refuses to look at him, just keeps walking.
"… does that matter?" Wrath wonders.
"Oh, I didn't mean to—"
"I don't look like other people, is that it?"
Al gulps, but Wrath doesn't sound offended. He just seems done.
"I'm sorry, I… I have so many questions, but no one told me anything."
Al replays the conversation Ed had with their teacher on the phone, his fear rising.
"I… I think I might be a homunculus, too."
Wrath stops and turns around.
"T-That's- That's why I asked. I'm sorry. I didn't…"
Al would have completed, but every word that he thinks is completely wrong.
"… homunculi are only puppets," Wrath opens up. "We're created to be someone we're not. We try to be human for their sake… but we can't pretend it for long."
Al listens, sympathetic.
"We're not real people. I know that's what you mean," Wrath concludes.
"No, I didn't—"
"You don't feel like a real person. You don't feel like you're the Alphonse Elric everyone knew. No one wants you because you're not perfect like they want you to be," Wrath takes the words out of his mouth.
Al sighs, unable to deny it.
Wrath is a good reader.
"We're people with no family… Even if that's what we want the most."
Al lowers his head. Wrath doesn't insist.
"There's no place for us here. So… we've got to move. Stay hidden," Wrath tells him, and then turns around again. "No one will ever love us."
Then, the black-haired boy starts walking again. But slower.
Al follows him regardless.
He wonders who Wrath was supposed to be… but it probably doesn't matter, because in the end, Wrath is never going to be what he was born to be. And neither is Al.
Are you defending this homunculus? He isn't real.
Wait.
When did he say this?
How did you get out here?
I don't know.
What's your name?
I don't know. I can't remember. I don't know!
Teacher…
Al looks at Wrath again.
Thank you for giving me an incomplete life.
His limbs…
They're my brother's, give them back!
Al gasps without a sound, stopping on the way, shaking at the number of memories coming back to him.
Armor.
Blood.
Alchemy.
Transmutation.
The Philosopher's Stone.
It's all
Too much—
"… Al! AL!"
Why wasn't anyone keeping an eye on him? Ed feels so irresponsible.
He's looked everywhere in Resembool. Winry told him that Wrath had left just before Al did. It's likely they're together.
Ed has no idea how Al must feel right now. Having no memories, no home, no one he really knows… not even Ed himself… He shouldn't have left him alone.
He doesn't think Wrath is going to harm him, though. Wrath has been quiet the entire time. Somewhat considerate. But he's terrified something might happen to Al. He doesn't even know how he brought Al back. How he's holding in.
If… he's really Al.
But no matter the answer, he's Ed's responsibility, and he's not going to run away from it.
"Al!" His voice is already rough. He doesn't know for how long he's been yelling his name. Winry has decided to stay in the house to see if they come back. Though he's not too confident.
Ed looks everywhere but finds nothing.
He can't lose Al. Not again. Please, not again.
He can't…
…
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
It scares off the birds and the peaceful nature around.
"AL !"
Ed desperately pushes off all the leaves and trees and harmless animals to get there. The screams get progressively worse.
That's how Ed finds Al, lying on the ground, covering his face and shaking his head repeatedly, like he's still in the same nightmare.
Wrath is surprised to see him.
"I-I didn't do anything, I swear," Wrath defends. "I don't know what happened, he just—"
Al keeps screaming, and the talk is cut short. Ed gets right to his side.
"Al, Al, I'm here, I've got you," he tries to soothe him while checking over him.
"It hurts !" Al whines. It really cuts through Ed's heart how young and innocent he sounds.
"I know, buddy, I know."
"Make it stop! Make it stop !"
Ed tries, but he can't help but grow more desperate. There's… nothing wrong with Al when you look at him.
"I-I remember everything, and it hurts, it hurts so much," Al sobs, "They're gonna take me away. I don't want to go. Please don't let me go."
"Al…" Ed sniffs, the first time in forever. "Al, I'm not letting you go away, okay?" He squeezes his hand hard. "I'm not letting anything happen to you."
Instead of screaming, the younger Elric sobs, his arm tight against his stomach. He's sweating pretty badly too, like he's having a really high fever. Ed really, truly doesn't know what else to do. Because apparently…
"… he's sealed by his memories."
Out of everyone, Wrath seems to be the calmest in this situation.
"Huh?" Ed blinks.
"The Gate. It took his memories, right? Then if he remembers… he'll be gone," Wrath concludes with something akin to sorrow.
Ed shakes. This is the "equivalent" exchange, isn't it? Al is forced to live a life where he shouldn't remember anything, or else he should die for it? This isn't fair. Ed can't let his little brother die again. He's not letting Al die again.
Both arms shaking, Ed is about to clap his hands to beg the Gate to let Al stay, internally yelling, please let Al live, take what you want from me, anything, my heart, my mind, my own memories, I don't care, let my baby brother live!
But Wrath stops him.
"Don't. He needs you."
Ed doesn't insist.
Wrath looks at Al for a moment, understanding, sympathetic. He takes a deep breath; and that's when Ed knows what might happen.
"No," he denies, "Wrath, don't do this!"
"I can do what I want."
"This isn't fair! You're going to die!"
"That's what being human is about, isn't it?"
Ed gulps.
"I don't care anymore," Wrath says, "I don't want this cycle to keep happening. I'm going to stop it."
"Wrath, you're just a kid."
"So is he."
Al doesn't appear to listen as he's swallowing in his own pain, but Ed feels awful right now for this kid. He doesn't look like the innocent young boy he and his brother found in Yock Island. A little kid who was just… happy to be there. The moment the red stones got a hold of him, Wrath became someone else entirely. But one thing he always was, was a lost boy who just wanted a mother that wouldn't abandon him.
Ed realizes how sorry he feels for this boy. This baby, actually.
"I saw him saving your life. He wanted you back at all costs. So don't do that to him. Don't die. He's going to try to bring you back again," Wrath tells him. "You two can't keep dying on one another."
"Wrath…"
Ed wants to stop him, but…
For the first time, Wrath said the most sensical thing he's ever heard.
"Please…"
Wrath looks at him, the softest and most exhausted expression he's shown until now.
"Please, be human. Let us be human."
That's his final request.
When Ed finally opens his mouth, Wrath beats him to it.
He claps his hands together, and then everything is bright like the sun, burning.
When it stops…
The crying stops, too.
Wrath is gone.
Ed didn't stop him.
But he doesn't know what else he could've done.
Truly.
The other boy on his lap, though, he awakes.
"Al?"
Al simply opens his eyes and says two words:
"Wrath… he…"
Ed can't look at his teary green eyes.
Al sniffs, "I-I couldn't even say I was sorry…"
He can't take it anymore.
Ed pulls Al in the tightest hug he can, holding him for the first time. Al cries for the child that sacrificed himself for him, the child that was lost to the alchemy of stupid, dumb and selfish humans that make so many suffer unjustly.
Ed can only hug Al and never let him go again.
For Wrath's sake.
For the Ishbalans, the Liorians, everyone's sake.
Ed can finally hold his baby brother because of them. And that's not fair. But right now… Ed and Al can only take care of one another and try as hard as they can to take care of the world, too.
That's their only true law.
Live.
