Chapter 14: Life without Ren
In The Shaman Dimension:
"Dude, like hey s'up man?" Horo Horo said entering the room where Ren was.
Ren sat next to the window staring outside at the night sky. He slowly turned around and looked at Horo Horo dully.
"The least you could do when you talk to me is to speak properly." Ren said angrily.
"Uh, so like dude like are you like totally alright and junk, man?" Horo Horo asked in a confused way.
"Tss. Get me some milk." Ren ordered.
"Uh, dude, like alright, man." Horo Horo replied as he left.
Chocolove entered the room.
"And what do you want?" Ren asked narrowing his eyes.
"Uh, man, it's my room too, dude." Chocolove said scratching his head.
"Fine." Ren said turning back around.
There was an awkward silence for a moment before Horo Horo burst back into the room panting like a dog.
"Dude, like I brought you your milk, man." Horo Horo said tiredly.
"That is Master Ren to you, same goes for you Chocolove." Ren said turning to face them both with his eyebrows down.
"Uh, man I-" Chocolove started but was cut off by Ren.
"I told you it is MASTER REN!" Ren shouted.
"Uh, Ren dude, like wha-" Horo Horo began but instantly stopped when Ren shoved his weapon about a millimeter from his face.
"M-Master R-R-Ren…" Chocolove stuttered.
"Did I tell you to speak?" Ren said looking angrily at Chocolove.
"I brought the milk Master Ren." Horo Horo said slowly extending his hand to Ren with the milk container in it; His hand was shaking furiously.
"Hmm…" Ren mumbled examining the milk.
Slowly Ren lowered the weapon and opened the milk container, peering inside it suspiciously. He was some small specks and looked up at Horo Horo. He stared into his eyes like a police man interrogating a criminal. Horo Horo smiled nervously and began to sweat with fear.
"You, take a sip." Ren said shoving the milk at Chocolove.
"Me? B-But I can't Master Ren, I-" Chocolove started.
"I said drink!" Ren said angrily.
He raised his weapon to the height of Chocolove's nose and pushed it slightly into the soft flesh. Chocolove swallowed hard and sweat dropped.
"Uh… But Master Ren-" Chocolove stammered.
"Take a drink. Or you'll lose it." Ren said pushing his weapon slightly harder into Chocolove's nose.
Chocolove slowly took the milk and raised it to his mouth. Reluctantly he took a small sip from the container and grinned nervously.
"See? Nothing wrong with it." Horo Horo said shrugging.
"I suppose not." Ren said as the mood began to lighten.
Ren took the milk from Chocolove and wiped of the nozzle before taking a sip himself. Everyone began to relax as the mood became more normal. Ren looked over at Chocolove who was breathing oddly.
"What is wrong with you?" Ren said eyeing him.
"I-I'm lactose intolerant." Chocolove said quietly.
That Night
Ren, Jun, Pyron, Yoh, Horo Horo, Ryu, Faust, Eliza, Pirika, Tamao, Manta, and Anna were all sitting in the local diner in Patch Village.
"Granola?" Yoh offered Pyron.
"I do not eat". He replied simply.
"Your loss dude." Yoh said shrugging, "So, what happened to you Chocolove?" Yoh asked turning to the bathroom door. There had been moans coming from there, and Chocolove had not exited for an hour.
"Uh… like, Ren, Horo Horo and I all went to this Chinese place right? And um…let's just say I put some bad stuff in my sushi…" Chocolove said nervously.
"Whoa man, that is like totally weird." Yoh said believing his story.
Chocolove came out of the bathroom holding his stomach. "Man, I think I got it all out of my system, dude…"
"Good. Well I'm going upstairs for bed." Ren said starting for the stairs.
"Me to, a man needs his beauty sleep." Horo Horo said stretching and following Ren.
"I'm coming to, man. Just leave a clear shot from my bed to the bathroom and I should be fine." Chocolove said stumbling after them, still holding his stomach.
At about 1:00 am
There was a slight sound at the window, like Lego scratching on glass. It woke Ren, Chocolove and Horo Horo up. They stumbled to the window, and Ren opened it.
"What?" he said sleepily wiping his eyes.
"Hello Ren." Came the voice of Hao. He was sitting on a branch with his chin in his Lego-gloved hand.
"Hao? Is that you?" muttered Chocolove groping around in the darkness for a sign of Hao; his eyes had not fully adjusted to the dark.
"Yes, that is me. Now stop flailing your arm about you insect, you could poke my eye out. I came for Ren, not to be slapped around like a mischievous child." Hao snarled slapping Chocolove's wrist away from his head.
"Ow…" Chocolove mumbled rubbing his now red with pain wrist.
"You came for me? At this time of night? Now you won't even let me sleep?" Ren said frowning.
"Dude, you are like totally obsessed, man." said Horo Horo wrapping himself in a blanket.
"Shut up." Hao snapped shooting an angry glance Horo Horo's way.
"For once he is right. Why do you insist on me joining you? Aren't there lesser people you could be bugging at 1:00 in the morning?" said Ren lazily.
"No, I want you…" wined Hao clawing at the air.
"I don't swing that way." Ren said crossing his arms.
"I'm not gay; I just want you to be my friend. You seem like a good friend…" Hao said making sad puppy eyes.
Chocolove and Horo Horo couldn't hide their chuckles.
"What are you two chuckling about?" said Ren.
"Nothing Re-Master Ren…" said Horo Horo snapping back to attention.
"Anyway, you really should join me. I hold a pretty good hand of cards…" Hao said grinning evilly.
"Dude, didn't anyone ever tell you that it's not the cards you are dealt, like, it's the cards you play, man?" Horo Horo asked, taking a step forward.
"Well, I chose this card." Hao paused. "SPIRIT OF FIRE!"
Hao pointed at Horo Horo and the spirit appeared and sent a ball of fire at Horo Horo, who just barely managed to scamper out of the way in time to escape the burn. He hid behind Ren in a childish way.
"Th- Th- Th- That's a good card man…" Horo Horo stuttered, afraid.
"Anyway Ren, join me. You and I are so alike-" Hao began, but was interrupted by Ren.
"Oh don't play that old card Hao." Ren said angrily.
"Why, whatever do you mean?" asked Hao a little sarcastically.
"The whole 'You and I are so alike' villain thing. You and I are most certainly not alike at all." Ren said pushing Horo Horo away.
"But, we did used to be, before you met my brother." Hao groaned bitterly.
"What?" asked Chocolove, who did not know Ren at all before he became friends with Yoh and the others.
"Oh, don't you know? Ren used to be very evil; we even wanted the same thing. To kill all humans and restore the natural beauty to the earth, the way it once was. A shaman only world. But my brother turned him against those beliefs." Explained Hao a little annoyed. "But deep down you still do believe that, don't you Ren?"
"No." Ren said simply.
"Oh come on, no use pretending I already know." Hao said grinning maniacally.
"I'm not pretending, now leave." Ren said angrily.
"I didn't want to resort to this, Ren, but I'm playing this card." Hao said raising his hand to the spirit of fire as if to present something that the spirit of fire was holding in it's massive hand, "The sister card."
The spirit of fire's hands lit ablaze and clamped together, fingers to fingers horizontally, like some sort of cage. Inside it was both Jun and Pyron.
"Renny!" Jun cried reaching out to him.
"No Jun, you could burn yourself." Pyron said holding her back.
"Jun? Pyron? What are you two doing?" Ren demanded.
"Hao captured us in our room." Jun said sadly.
"Pyron, you let Hao take Jun and yourself?" Ren said coldly.
"I'm truly sorry, Master Ren; the spirit of fire was too powerful for me." Pyron said lowering his head in shame.
"Anyway Ren, you must fight alongside me, with the great spirit of fire beneath our feet, or I will destroy her." Hao said throwing his hands behind him and tossing his head back dramatically, with his grin widening evilly.
"You wouldn't…" Ren said narrowing his eyes in anger.
"Oh, I would." Hao said tilting his head to the spirit of fire.
The hands of the spirit became hot and the fingers lit on fire, nearly burning Jun; who clung to Pyron in fear. The fire crept closer slowly until it nearly reached Jun.
"Stop!" Ren yelled loudly, slowly he lowered his head, "I will go with you."
"Excellent! Come along comrade!" Hao said waving Ren forward.
Reluctantly, Ren stepped forward and walked slowly towards Hao. Horo Horo and Chocolove froze in horror as he walked past them. Ren stood near Hao frowning angrily; he glared at him strait in the eye.
"Let Jun go." Ren demanded.
"Certainly; Spirit of fire?" Hao said turning to the fire spirit.
The Great Spirit lowered his hands and placed Jun and Pyron on the ground next to Chocolove and Horo Horo.
"Now Ren; let us take our leave." Hao said happily.
Hao leapt backwards, with enough height to land on the spirit of fire's shoulder. Ren turned to him and paused. He slowly walked towards the beast with his eyes closed, frowning. Bason was following him cautiously and steadily, looking over his shoulder at Horo Horo and Chocolove every couple of seconds. The massive fire spirit lowered his hand in front of Ren; He stopped walking, opened his eyes, and looked down at the gigantic red hand. He took one step onto it and felt the heat of fire. Ren walked onto the palm of the hand and glared up at Hao. The spirit raised its giant hand and placed Ren on the same shoulder as Hao.
With that, Hao, Ren and the Spirit of Fire disappeared into thin air.
There was a long pause between Horo Horo and Chocolove.
"…Dude…" Horo Horo managed. He dropped to his knees and then threw his fist into the air dramatically. "RRRRRREEEEEENNNNNN!" he yelled.
"Oh no, Renny!" Jun whimpered, letting a tear fall from her cheek.
"This is my entire fault, I am sorry Jun…" Pyron said turning away from her.
Horo Horo got off the ground sadly. "Dude, it wasn't your fault, like, don't beat yourself up, man." Horo Horo said; his voice dull and dim.
"Man, like, what are we going to, like, do and junk, dude?" Chocolove cried, "Without Ren here we have no direction, like, what do we do and stuff?"
"Dude, I don't like, know or anything, man." Horo Horo replied glancing around suspiciously.
Both Horo Horo and Chocolove looked around, baffled. They tried to walk but ran into walls and tripped on pebbles. They both lay on the floor on their backs with their arms flailing around like turtles, trying to get back onto their feet.
"DUDE? LIKE, I'M STUCK AND JUNK, MAN!" Horo Horo screamed.
"MAN, I LIKE KNOW AND STUFF, ME TOO DUDE!" Chocolove cried.
"Pyron, I'm scared…" Jun cried, looking at the ground.
"Do not worry, Jun. Master Ren will find a way out of this horrible predicament, I am sure of it." Pyron said placing his hand on Jun's shoulder comfortingly.
Jun looked up at him with her eyes filled with tears. She wrapped her arms around him quickly and began to cry harder. Pyron was quite confused on what to do, so he just put his arms on her back and remained silent.
"Man, like, don't you want to like cry on my shoulder?" Chocolove said, finally standing and inching near Jun with an evil grin.
Chocolove inched closer to Jun, reaching out to hug her; but was smacked across the face, hard. He looked up and saw Pyron staring angrily down at him. Jun was still crying harder than Pyron thought was even possible for Jun; she wasn't even paying attention.
"Dude, were you like, hitting on Ren's sister, Man?' Horo Horo asked, finally staggering to his feet with a look of shock on his face.
"Uh… Man, like, dude, I was just like… Yeah…" Chocolove admitted.
"Dude, not cool, man." Horo Horo said shaking his head disapprovingly.
Just then, Yoh, Ryu, Faust, Eliza, Manta and Anna came running towards them, Pirika and Tamao obviously to young to be woken up so early.
"Hey, what was all the ruckus man?" Yoh said, out of breath.
"Get into shape, Yoh!" Anna yelled.
"Anna, it's neither the time nor the place!" Manta yelled, also out of breath.
"Shut up creampuff." Anna snapped.
"Would you all just be quiet?" Faust said to them, angrily.
"Yeah, look." Yoh said referring to Jun and Pyron; not once had he ever seen Jun cry ever before, "What happened man?" Yoh asked, concerned.
"It is Master Ren. Hao has finally taken him to his side. It is all my fault; I am sorry, really sorry." Pyron said quietly, almost whispering the last part.
"Don't be, Pyron." Jun said through the tears, "It was not your fault; it was all the doings of Hao, no one blames you." Jun said looking up at him.
"I do…" Pyron whispered to himself, his voice full of sadness.
With Hao and Ren
"So um…what now?" asked Ren stepping off the Spirit of Fire's hand and into a campground, complete with fire, Opacho cooking marshmallows, and both of the Flying Zen Brothers singing.
"Hao-sama!" exclaimed Opacho running up and hugging Hao's leg. "Opacho cooked you a marshmallow, Hao-sama!" she offered the marshmallow and the end of the stick to his master, and Hao gratefully accepted.
"Thank you Opacho." He said petting her head and eating the marshmallow.
"Opacho cooked one for Ren-sama too!" Opacho took a stick from by the fire with a marshmallow at the end and gave it to Ren.
"How the heck did you know I was going to be here?" Ren said coldly, not reaching out for the treat in the child's hand.
"Opacho always cooks a marshmallow for Ren-sama, in hopes he would finally accept Hao-sama's offer and come to be our friend…" she replied looking at her feet, eyes filling up with tears.
"Goodness…" said Ren rolling his eyes and accepting the sticky treat. "I didn't mean to make you cry little boy."
"I'M A GIRL!" Opacho exclaimed, tears running down her face.
"Oh, I am sorry." Ren said a little repelled by the change.
"That's alright Ren-sama, I forgive you!" she said grinning up at him.
Ren glanced at the marshmallow in his hand and winced at the disgusting sticky mess.
"Aren't you going to eat it?" said Opacho cocking her head, waiting for his reply. "Or do you hate Opacho's gift?" tears welled in her eyes again.
"No, no, no. See, I'll eat it." Ren glanced at Bason beside him, who nodded for him to eat it. He slowly put the marshmallow in his mouth and shuddered at the sugary unhealthy abomination.
"YAY!" she exclaimed clapping her hands and hugging his ankle.
"I see you two have already made friends!" said Hao smiling at his little friend.
"Ren-sama friend!" she said grinning up at him.
"Yes…" muttered Ren looking at the two guitar players by the fire.
"You two, shoo." Hao said gesturing for the ZenRyo to leave. They mindlessly obeyed, and ran away with their guitars into the desert.
"Hao, I would like to go to sleep now. Goodnight." Ren said turning away from Hao and sitting down on the ground.
"Uh, alright, see you in the morning comrade!" Hao said happily.
In The Morning:
"Wakie Wakie!" Hao said standing in front of Ren.
Ren was in the same position in which he was when he had fallen asleep, sitting cross legged with his arms crossed, as well. Ren popped open one eye. Hao's face was only inches from his.
"Have you had any sleep?" asked Ren frowning.
"I don't sleep!" Hao answered happily. "I watched you all night, it gets boring and lonely when you don't sleep you know."
"Creepy…" muttered Ren.
"I used to watch Opacho, but she got a little boring. No offense Opacho." He said looking over to the young child eating a piece of beef jerky by the fire. Her response was a forgiving grin.
"What is it Hao, why do you wake me so early?" Ren said, not at all sounding sleepy.
"Because I need you to prove your loyalty to me." Hao grinned.
"What do you want me to do?" Ren asked, opening his other eye.
"I need you to come with me and the spirit of fire, and perform a task." Hao replied with his eyebrows low.
"Hmm… what kind of task is it?' Ren asked curiously.
"Just your average 'prove your loyalty' task, nothing special." Hao said shrugging.
"Fine; I will come." Ren said standing.
"So, what are we going to do?" Yoh asked.
They were all standing back where Ren had left, trying to figure out how they were supposed to get him back.
"Dude, I'm not sure; he will probably get back on his own, man." Horo Horo replied, still in a bit of a daze.
"Maybe, man…" Yoh said, still thinking about how Ren could ever possibly get away from his brother and fight alongside his friends.
Just then, the Spirit of Fire appeared in front of everyone, with Ren and Hao standing on its shoulders.
"Oh, hello Yoh." Hao said grinning.
"Hao! Let Ren come back with us!" Yoh demanded.
"Um… Let me think," Hao paused and rested his chin on his hand thoughtfully, "No."
"If you don't, I will make you!" Yoh yelled angrily.
"Oh? You will make me, will you?" Hao said laughing.
"Yeah, of coarse I will. Me and all of Ren's friends will get him back no matter what!" Yoh screamed.
"That's a laugh." Hao said chuckling.
"Why?" Yoh asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, Yoh, let's just say you are the granola to my beef jerky." Hao said holding up a hand full of wrinkly beef jerky to symbolize his statement.
"But, granola is healthy and it tastes good, and jerky is innutritious, bitter, and it is made from living animals, man." Yoh said holding up granola.
"Here, allow me to explain: If beef jerky and granola are cooked in the same pot, the granola will end up tasting like jerky, but the jerky will still hold its taste. In all, the beef jerky is the one that will forever maintain its flavor, and because of that, the jerky is more powerful than the granola." Hao explained, sounding wise.
"Uh… What?" Horo Horo asked, confused beyond belief.
"Are you that stupid? It means if Yoh and I were to fight, I would be victorious." Hao said rolling his eyes in frustration.
"Oh… Right, I knew that…" Chocolove said, shifting his eyes around nervously.
"Ren, do you honestly want to go back to being friends with these buffoons?" Hao asked, turning to Ren.
"Actually, yes I do." Ren admitted, crossing his arms.
"You- You can't be serious?" Hao asked, bewildered.
"I am. Hao, it has been fun, but I think I will go back with my friends now. Come along Bason." Ren said looking down at the crowd of his friends below.
"Yes Master Ren." Bason replied following him willingly.
"But-But-But…" Hao stammered.
"HAHA! He said BUTT!" Horo Horo said laughing.
"You actually want to be friends with these morons?" Hao asked, shocked.
"It may sound weird to you, but I honestly do." Ren said shrugging.
Ren leapt from the shoulder of the Fire Spirit and landed next to his friends. He spun around and looked up at Hao.
"But you can't leave; you gave yourself to me for your sister's freedom!" Hao whined in a childish manner.
"Yes, true, but you did not keep your word when I defeated you in a sword fight, so why should I keep my word?" Ren asked angrily.
"C-C-Cuz!" Hao stammered.
"When a man does not keep his word, it means they have no honor. In my country, honor is the greatest thing a man can have, without it, he is nothing. Since you did not live up to your promise, I see no reason why I should grant you the privilege of me keeping mine." Ren explained without missing a word.
"B-But!" Hao stuttered angrily.
"Farewell." Ren said waving once.
"But- You- You- You… You'll regret this! I WILL NOT GIVE UP; YOU WILL BE MINE TAO REN!" Hao said as he and the Fire Spirit disappeared in an instant.
"YAY! Ren's back, man!" Horo Horo yelled as he and Chocolove hugged Ren.
"Goodness…" Ren said angrily. "Get away from me you ignorant, asinine, impolite, boorish, ill-mannered, loutish, uncouth, juvenile, adolescents."
"Dude, I missed the way you call us things we don't even understand!" Horo Horo said happily.
"I rue the day I got stuck with you two dim-witted fools as my team mates…" Ren said sighing and crossing his arms.
"No you don't!" They both said, hugging him tighter.
"Leave me be." Ren said, shoving them away.
"Oh Renny, I'm so glad that you're okay!" Jun said running up to him and hugging him.
"Jun… I said not in public!" Ren said pushing her back, with no success.
"Aww… What a Kodak moment…" Horo Horo said smiling.
"I wish she would hug me like that." Chocolove thought out loud.
Everyone stared at him in shock. Ren raised his hand and slapped Chocolove across the face, with enough force to almost nock him over.
"Man, that's discrimination, dude!" Chocolove yelled.
"Well, now that Ren is back, let's all go and get something to eat!" Yoh suggested, smiling widely.
"I suppose I could eat." Ren said with no emotion in his voice.
"Yeah, man, I'm starving!" Horo Horo yelled happily.
Chocolove opened his mouth, ready to reveal a completely uncalled for and corny joke, but was silenced by the cold looks from both Ren and Horo Horo.
With that, they all went into the McPatch diner and had a wonderful breakfast. Ren told his friends all about the horror of waking up with a crazy man staring strait into your face, and for the first time, he was glad they were his friends. It could be a lot worse, after all.
