There he is again, as I walk through the corridors of the mansion.

Leaning against a wall, he is. He's waiting for someone. Could that someone be me? I can see him turning in my direction. He smiles heavenly.

It's the happiest I have ever see him. It's me, isn't it? He's looking in my direction! Oh my God. I smile back at him, I feel perfect again. I'm in heaven.

He hurriedly approached me. I could see the sparkling bloom in his eyes. I stepped closer to him. I held out my arms.

I could finally fulfill my dream! Not that dream, the other dream. In his arms I will be.

Finally there is a couple. The perfect couple. Him and her.

He zoomed pass me, I turned around. He held her tight and she hugged him back. Oh how rejected I had felt.

And here I thought that he had finally loved me. I guess this dream is too wide for my imagination. I didn't feel much at that moment. But when I was in the washroom, I could see no more. I was blinded by my fountain of tears. Hair tangled up, my crown crushed and rusted on the floor. My dress ripped and bloodied. I looked around only to see faded blood and unwashed tears. Tears ran down my unkissed lips. I knelt down in anger, nearly crushing my knees. Once again I took out the knife, and leaned it against my swollen wrist.

I'm already dying. You can see inside of me, you can see the blood rushing out through all of my muscles. I've cut myself to hard, and too much. All was left was my neck. All that was left was the opportunity to give myself a big scar on my neck. There would be more blood coming out of me, instead of my tears.

But there's something inside me, telling me that If I loved him, I'd let him be. If I loved life, I should carry on. There is still a piece of the puzzle that will complete my life. And it might not be him. Freedom. compassion. Lust. Anger. Envy. If only…

I opened the washroom door, with no freshly made cuts. I laughed as I passed by the two lovers. I didn't care if they were together. If I loved him so much, I would accept his love for someone else. But the thing is that I wanted to have a perfect life by being with the one that I love. To me there is no other that can be as perfect as him. Come to think of it, if I'm perfect, what else will be going on? After my life is perfect with him and everything else, where will I go? Sure, I'll be perfect… But without any goals to accomplish. Basically, my life is all about freedom and always doing something to reach a goal. Without a goal, I have a boring life. If he had already loved me, then we'll live happily, that's what counts. If we got married… He'd see another girl and ditch me.

I guess it all ties into another tangled knot. The puzzle is never complete. Everyday I search for another piece, everyday I lose a piece.

I walked to the garden. The pleasant and clean garden. No one ever went there. There wasn't much to do there, except stare into the clouds and watch as the day goes by.

I sat on the rusty bench, and I stared into the sky. There she was, a beautiful angel. She was staring down at me, and I was staring up at her. She seemed so familiar. Like some one that I'd known. She then waved and smiled. I waved back. But I was totally in confusion. Have I finally gone insane and is now imagining things in the sky? No, she was real. I just looked at her for a long time. Imagining if it were me. Me in the future. How pleasant. Being in the sky where I long for adventures. I closed my eyes, and thought.

I opened them. There again, was another angel. It was a boy, a young boy. I feel a tingle in my stomach. I saw him saying something to me. But everything seemed so silent and I couldn't hear what he was saying. Suddenly, I heard a whisper in my mind.

Live life, enjoy it. Don't care about this boy anymore. For once you die not regretting a single moment of your life, you will be happy in heaven.

Could it be? Could it be? Could it be that I finally have a chance? To regain my perfectness, and set on a fun adventure and see the world through different eyes?

Yes.