Tomoyo was awakened the next morning by the sound of her phone ringing. She must have overslept again...she picked it up, but before she could even say hello:

"Tomoyo! This is Sakura! Sorry for calling so early, but Syaoran and Meilin and Eriol and I are all going to see a movie and then eat lunch and do you want to come too!" Sakura's voice screamed excitedly from the phone.

Tomoyo didn't know what to say. She wanted to see them all, but at the same time...she did not want to see Eriol again. To see him would mean falling in love with him all over again...and having her heart broken again when he left again. And then there was that look...she didn't know what to make of it. Just because she knew where she had seen it did not make it better, in a way it made it worse.

"I don't feel well today, Sakura, I'm sorry. But please have fun anyway!" she said as politely as she could. They talked for a few more minutes until Sakura said she had to leave, they were about to be late. Tomoyo hung up and spent the rest of the day designing and sewing costumes for Sakura...and trying to push other thoughts out of her mind.

It wasn't until that night that she allowed herself to wonder what it all meant. If Eriol did love her...like she loved him...maybe...was there a chance..that something might come from it? Something good? No! She couldn't...but she wanted to...but..

She felt as if her heart was at war against itself. She knew she truly loved Eriol, like she had never loved anyone else. Hope desperately told her to do something, that this would work out, that she would be loved. To leave her shell of loneliness behind and trust someone for once, to share her true feelings with someone. She wanted so much to be understood, and accepted, to be loved for who she truly was...

At the same time though, she did not want to leave the shelter of her emptiness. Being alone was something she was used to, and she was safe from the heartbreak, the betrayal, the pain and misery that she saw so many other people go through. If she loved someone, she would no longer be protected against such things; he would leave her, and she would be left with nothing but pain. She knew that. The problem was...she already loved him. She was safe right now, but was she happy?

Her confusion and despair gave way to unmeasurable sadness, sadness that filled the air around her, seemed to weigh her whole life down.

But still she did not cry.