Chapter 27 – 1 Year
Monday, August 19th, 2019
14 weeks pregnant
Gabi's POV
Beth's leg bopped up and down frantically as she was constantly searching the crowd for Colt. He was flying in to town to get to know the family over the month before they made the big move to Wyoming. He was able to find somebody to help cover his farm while he was gone for this time to really get to know our family and learn more about Beth. "Beth, it's going to be fine. He is going to love the family. He already loves you. I've heard all of the conversations." Beth shot me a look and I just shook my head with a smile on my lips.
"How is everybody over at James house?" I asked her trying to distract her from the long wait that we still had in place. "I think slowly getting better. I believe that James has really turned a corner in therapy and with just starting to be a normal dad. Nothing ground breaking but he seems more present with his kids. I think the session with Blaine really helped open his eyes to how much the kids were hurting from his lack of being there."
I bobbed my head slowly as Beth released a large breath of air, "I also think time is also healing. Blaine is back in school along with Lucy and it's better for the household. I think that after the one-year mark and we can get behind that things might start to look more familiar to them. I am pretty sure James is going to put the house on the market and just go somewhere else within the school district. A fresh start."
I smiled, "Good, I told him that was an option but I don't think he was ready for that." Beth nodded, "I am trying to figure out what to do for the whole one-year thing. I am honestly still in shock that it will be one year." I spoke and Beth nodded as she rubbed her eyes for a moment and sighed. "I know. I miss her bright smile," Beth said with a small smile on her face as she thought back to the memories of our sister.
"Her laugh, I wish I could hear her laugh again," Beth nodded in agreement as her eyes were still scanning the exit from the terminals when she squealed and took off running. My own laugh escaped as I stayed back and watched her tackle a giant man. He dropped his bag and easily picked her up and secured her around his waist. He was wearing a cowboy hat with a pair of jeans and a button-down shirt. He was wide and tall – a farm boy is exactly what he looked like. He had the goofiest smile on his face though as he looked at my sister. Pure happiness radiated from the both of them.
I reached down and rubbed my belly that was now very noticeable. We were officially pregnant and I had announced to Facebook last week in a cute little picture with Troy. There was no hiding it any further. Colt settled my sister's feet back on the ground before kissing her deeply. Beth pulled away first and he just grinned at her. She took his hand as he picked up his bag and began to walk with Beth over towards me. He lifted his cowboy hat off his head to reveal blonde hair.
"Colt, I want you to meet my sister, Gabi. Gabi, this is Colt." I grinned as I palmed his huge hand – it almost put Troy's body to shame. "Hi, it's really nice to meet you." I told him and he grinned as he wrapped me in a quick hug. "It's good to meet you, sorry I'm stealing your sister," he said in a twang that I wasn't quite familiar with. "No, no I want my sister to be happy. That will make me happy. You just have to share her." I told him with a wink and he laughed.
Beth just smiled between the two of us as we began to head towards the exit. "What's on the agenda for tonight?" Colt asked and Beth smiled up at him. "Dinner at my parents' house. You'll meet Gabi's fiancé, Blaine, Lucy, my parents, and probably James. Then we'll go back to Gabi and Troy's place tonight." She said with a smug little smile and I just rolled my eyes as Colt chuckled. "A little bit safer for the first night?" Colt questioned with a raised eyebrow.
Beth just blushed and leaned into his body as we approached my car, "Gabi, Beth told me that you are expecting twins. When are you due?" Colt asked as we got into the car and I smiled, "February. If they last that long in there," I said rubbing my stomach and Colt smiled. "I have a twin sister, her name is Shannon, she is quite possibly my best friend." I grinned, "I hope these two will be best friends."
"Beth said that we will find out the gender before we leave," I nodded my head, "I hope so anyways, it'll be fun to finally start picking out names, nursery themes, and what not for these two little babes." I navigated out of the airport parking lot as I was dropping the two of them off at my parents' house as they were going to have some one-on-one time prior to the rest of us showing up. Troy was still at work and would be meeting me back at home.
Beth and Colt were quietly talking to each other as she was in the front seat while he was in the back but that didn't stop him from touching her hand, shoulder, hair, whatever he could get his hands on while he sat in the back. The drive wasn't too long and they were both eager to get out. "Good luck! Colt they will love you," I said to them as I really hadn't gotten the chance to talk to him but I knew those two needed a minute first.
"We'll see you later, Gabi. Thanks for the ride!" I nodded as they both started for the front door but stopped short on the porch. Her butt was on the railing in no time at all while he kissed her. I shook my head as I backed out of the driveway. It wasn't a far drive to Troy's place as his car was sitting the in the garage. He went back to work a few weeks ago and our lives have taken up a new normalcy. He worked during the week, we had dinner together every single night, and on Saturday's we had a date.
We fell into a good groove and we were both hoping that it would stick for when basketball started and for when the babies were here. I parked my car and Luna spotted it as she ran towards it. I smiled as I looked over to see Troy holding her ball. He was already in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. I stepped out of the car as I greeted Luna with a head scratch before Luna took off after the ball that Troy launched as I walked down to the backyard.
"There is my beautiful girl," I smiled as I walked over and wrapped my arms around his body. "Hi," I said tilting my head back to look at him, "Hi, how was work today?" he asked me and I smiled, "Good. It was busy but leaving a little early to go to the airport with Beth was fun." Troy raised an eyebrow, "How is Colt?" he questioned and I grinned, "Good from what I could tell. They were really just trying to be together again. I didn't ask too many questions or anything. He is very much in love with her. He is very big, like, wide, linebacker football player."
"You are big as in tall basketball player with big muscles," Troy chuckled as Luna dropped the ball at our feet causing Troy to let go and bend down to pick up the ball as he launched it again. "How was your day today?" I asked him and he smiled with a shrug, "Starting to finally get into content and teach. The kids all seemed to be pretty interested this year." I tilted my head back, "Am I going to come back and teach a lesson?" I asked batting my eyes and Troy grunted.
"No," I laughed, "Why?" I asked tilting my head to the side. Troy smirked, "Because the last time I wanted to fuck you against the desk the entire time. Not very appropriate." I just laughed as I squeezed his hand. "I'm going to change for dinner." I told him and he nodded as I walked inside. I shut the door and turned to face the kitchen to see a vase of flowers with one of my favorite cookies from my favorite bakery sitting on the counter.
My heart swelled as I leaned forward to smell the flowers and steal a bite from the cookie. Troy wasn't far behind me and his arm slid around my waist, "What did I do to deserve this?" I murmured as I took another bite of the cookie. "Absolutely nothing. You deserve this just because – I do love you and thought a little treat was needed." I smiled as I turned around to face him as he dropped his lips to mine.
"I love you," I told him as I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face into his chest. "I am going to be leaving early tomorrow. We have a meeting." I groaned, "No, we always spend Tuesday morning in bed. I go in late," Troy laughed as he kissed me again. "I know, I know. I'll make it up to you." I just gave him a quick smile and squeezed his hand. "I love you, thank you for this," he nodded. "Anything to see that smile on your face."
Troy and I approached my parents front door as we were both in a pair of jeans with t-shirts on as we walked in the front door. I could already hear Lucy and Blaine laughing about something as that made me smile. Troy squeezed my hand gently as I heard Beth and Colt. We walked into the kitchen together as my mom spotted us first, "Gabi, Troy," she greeted with a big smile. I loved seeing that smile on her face. I happily walked over and wrapped my arms around her in a tight hug.
"How are you feeling?" she asked me, "Good. I think my morning sickness is gone and my headaches have subsided." She squeezed me, "Good! I am glad that you are feeling better. How are these two tiny gifts?" I couldn't stop my grin as my mom ran her hand over my stomach. "Good. I still haven't felt them move yet. They said it might be closer to twenty weeks."
"It was almost twenty-two before I felt Zoey. I went to my doctor demanding they listen for her because I hadn't felt her move and I was terrified. It ended up that my placenta was in the front and it made it harder for me to feel her but it is so reassuring when you can feel them move." I agreed with her as I watched Troy and my dad hug and Beth introduced Colt to Troy. They shook hands and shared a laugh with each other.
They were roughly the same height, Troy might have an inch or two on him, but they were both tall men. Troy was just leaner while Colt was all big muscles and a beard around the edge of his face. "What do you think?" I asked my mom and she just gave me a smile. "I am very happy for her. That is her person." I squeezed my mom's shoulder as I went over to give my dad a hug. "Brie, do you want anything besides water to drink?" Troy asked as he went to the garage fridge.
"No, just water." I told him and he nodded as he walked out. "Aunt Gabi!" Lucy threw her arms around my waist. "Hi sweet girl," I turned around and she giggled, "Aunt Gabi, Blaine and I were talking about the babies and I want them both to be girls because then they will be like and we can play dress up." Her long-winded sentence caused me to laugh. "We'll find out soon, what if it was one girl and one boy?" I questioned. She thought about it for a second as she turned her head and squinted her eyes. She then shook her head, "No, two girls," I laughed.
"I don't know, Lucy, I am not really in charge of that." I told her and she squinted, "What?" she questioned and my dad started chuckling. "It is what it is. Once we find out we can't change it." Lucy sighed heavily, "Fine, but it cannot be two boys." I just giggled as she ran off to say something to Beth. Troy came back in and sat the water in front of me as he dropped a kiss to my neck. "Troy, how is the beginning of the school year?" my dad asked.
"Really good, the kids are mostly happy to be back. I give that another two weeks and then they will be moaning and groaning again about the work and tests." My dad chuckled, "I applaud you for being a school teacher. I bet the basketball part makes it better." I laughed with a nod, "It does help from time to time. It gives me some motivation when the kids are just hating it. It also helps that I don't teach English or math. For the most part – my class is an elective. They have to take some form of government but have other options."
"What do you teach?" Colt asked as he had a beer in his hand and another hand on Beth. "I teach government and business. I'm trying to work on getting a college intro to business class into the school but I think I have to go back and get my masters to teach it." I blinked, "Really?" I questioned and Troy looked over at me. "Yea, this all actually came about today at work. Just a light conversation." Troy back tracked and I just smiled, "It's okay, I am just making sure you haven't told me and I completely forgot about it."
Troy laughed with a shake of his head, "No, I haven't mentioned it. I have been thinking about it but it's one of those things that I think about at school and when I come home, I don't think about any of that." His blue eyes swung to my face and I just shook my head with a smile forming on my own. "You are awful distracting," I couldn't stop my laugh and he hooked his arm around my neck and pulled me back against his chest.
"Colt, what do you do as a cattle ranch farmer?" my dad asked. Colt smiled as he was still in the same outfit as earlier as he took a sip of his beer. "My dad owns the land and it's been passed from generation to generation. We have cattle, sheep, goats, and chickens that run around. We mainly do cattle for milk and beef. We're looking to expand and do some more agriculture parts – corn, wheat, things like that. We mainly just maintain the land, take care of the cows, and do whatever needs to be done. My dad will be retiring before too long and it will all become mine."
"That sounds amazing, we'll have to take a family trip up there to see it all." Colt smiled, "I would love to have all of you. We even have a few horses that we ride around," Beth squealed, "They are literally the most amazing creatures. I was terrified of them at first but once we rode them around, I fell in love with them. I honestly can't wait to go back for that." Colt frowned and pinched her side teasingly, "Hey," she said ducking away from him.
"That's the only reason?" he questioned with a near pout on his lips and she just grinned back up at him. He definitely gave her that look that showed me that he was the one. The same one I could feel from my fiancé behind me. "Blaine, how is school?" Troy asked as Blaine entered the kitchen. He grinned, "good, already getting that basketball work in," he teased Troy and Troy only grunted in response. "Aunt Beth, you promise to come back and watch a game this year? Probably a West Ashley and James Island game so you can see us absolutely destroy James Island,"
Troy rolled his eyes into the back of his head, "I don't think you killed us once last year. Each game was super close and the one we won – we won by ten." Troy threw back at him. Blaine just smirked, "Yea, well, I'm older this year. You don't have Bryson this year." Troy turned his head to focus on him for a beat, "Don't forget about DJ and Wilson." Troy reminded him and Blaine rolled his eyes, "Unless they got better at ball handling you are in trouble."
Colt let his eyes ping pong back and forth between Troy and Blaine as our family was mostly just amused with their banter. "Just you wait, Brooks," Troy told him and Blaine just smirked, "Oh I can't wait,"
"Let me just clarify something – Blaine, you play basketball and Troy, you coach basketball?" they both nodded their heads. "Yes, I teach at James Island which is West Ashley, Blaine's school, biggest rival. My brother is actually a football coach there but we both went to James Island growing up." Colt just nodded his head in understanding, "And you two met at a basketball game?" I nodded. "Yup, Troy was there scouting and I randomly sat right next to him."
A smile came over his lips, "That's really cool, we will have to come back and watch that showdown." My dad chuckled, "Did you play any sports in high school or college?" My dad asked him and Colt nodded. "I played football in high school and I skipped college to start learning the family business. I was all-start linebacker though," I shot a smug look towards Troy who only chuckled in response. "Maybe when football starts you can come hang out my place. My buddies and I all watch football all day on Sunday," Troy offered.
Colt perked up at those words, "Are ya'll trying to bribe me into staying here instead of moving back to Wyoming?" Colt rumbled in his accent causing our entire family to laugh. "No, but is it working?" My mom pestered with a smile. Colt grinned, "Maybe."
Beth hugged him around the waist as he was already a good fit for the family. "Wait, I want in on one of these Sunday's," Blaine objected and Troy grinned, "Be careful. It's going to turn into a toddler showdown before too long. We're having twins, my best friend Jesse's wife, is about a month behind Gabi in her pregnancy. I can only imagine my other fools of best friends are not far behind – besides Dylan. It will take him a long time before he actually proposes and has kids."
I laughed as my mom pulled out a pan of lasagna from the oven, "Are you guys ready to eat?" we all agreed and nodded as we grabbed our plates and ate as a family.
Troy's POV
Friday, August 23rd, 2019
15 Weeks Pregnant
Troy's POV
I settled in my chair as the bell just rang and my class vacated for their lunch period. I was holding an open gym after school before the football game tonight which I was supposed to help patrol. That all meant that I couldn't spend the night with my girl. She was now fifteen weeks pregnant and it was amazing how fast time was already moving. I shuffled some papers around my desk and rubbed my face trying to figure out if I should actually eat the lunch, I packed this morning or just go to the café.
There was a brief knock at the door and I lifted my head as a smile stretched across my face. In a pair of cream dress and a jean jacket over top with a pair of flats, her hair was pinned half up and half down and she had the biggest smile on her face. "I thought I would come for lunch," she said holding a bag of food in her hand. I chuckled as I stood up and walked across the room and cupped her face, "This is the best thing ever," I whispered as I dropped my lips to hers. She smiled, "I missed eating lunch with you during the week so I figured this was a good opportunity." I held her hand as we walked further back into my classroom.
"How was your session with Regina this morning?" I asked her and she smiled softly, she rolled out of bed early to meet with her over coffee. I could tell as the date crawled closer to the one-year mark, the more she was withdrawing. "Okay. We just talked about how I am currently feeling about everything. Everything from Zoey to the babies and about the high-risk pregnancy and complications," she shrugged as she settled in a chair on the other side of the desk. She pulled out a salad for herself and a cheeseburger and fries for me. "Thanks," I told her and she nodded.
"I just want to mention something about the babies – I think I just need to explain something to you and I don't want you to take this the wrong way. I love the babies and I am excited to have these babies with you." Her brown eyes flickered to mine immediately. "I don't like the start to this conversation." She laughed nervously and I reached over to touch her hand. "No, I just…I need you to know that if something, anything, happens – which I pray every single day that it doesn't because you don't deserve that. You don't deserve anymore pain or grief or heartache – but if something happens Gabi. I am going to choose you over and over again."
Gabi looked at me blankly for a minute and she just shook her head, "No, Troy, these our are kids. We choose them." She took a bite of her food and I felt my heart sink just a little bit at that statement. "Gabi, I can't replace you. You are my only Gabi." I told her and those brown eyes looked at me with a fire in them. "And what if these are our only babies? What if this is the only pregnancy we get?" she threw back at me and I bit down hard on my lip because I should have done this at a different time. I guess I was just hoping that she would understand. Fuck, me.
"Brie, like I said, I really fucking hope nothing happens but I need to make it clear to you. The more that pre-term labor and complications start arising in all of our conversations because you are having twins makes me scared. Every time. That I could lose you. That this isn't a normal pregnancy. I want to marry you on October 3rd, 2020. I want to have as many kids as you want together. I want our lives to be together until we're old and grey. I don't get any of that if something happens to you. We can try and make as many babies as possible. We can try our hardest to not lose either of them but you have to understand – I am choosing you."
Tears welled in her eyes as she shook her head, "I didn't come here to talk about this with you. I came here to have lunch with my fiancé. We aren't married. You don't get to make any decisions." That was a blow to my chest as a few tears leaked down her cheeks. "Gabs, I don't think anything is going to happen. Like I said, I pray every day that we are leaving the hospital with two healthy babies but what if something happens to one of them? They will need you as well. I want these babies and this life with you." I was nearly pleading with her as I stood up and went to sit next to her but she wouldn't make eye contact.
"Gabi," I whispered quietly. "I am worried that if something were to happen, that you will not be okay because I understand that you can only handle so much and that might be too much. I am scared that I am going to lose you. I am scared. I want to have a happy healthy family but I am scared." She blinked a few times and put the lid back on her salad. The bell rang overhead and I squeezed my eyes closed, "Gabi, please, this is just one of those just in case conversations. You are the light of my entire life and I want those two babies to also be the light of my life. I want all three of you but I need you in the center of it."
Kids started to filter in the hallway and the noise echoed in as I saw more tears run down her face, "Gabi," my voice was stressed as she stood up. "I have to go. You have to get back to work." I swallowed as I shook my head. "No, Gabi, I didn't mean to make you upset and I don't want you to get hurt driving if you are upset. Look at me," her eyes found mine and I could see the tear, the heartbreak, the hurt, and everything in-between in her eyes. I felt the pain fill my chest as I reached for her but she pulled away from me. "I'll see you at home tonight." She said with a fake smile and I shook my head. "No, please, let's talk," kids started to fill my room as my food sat on my desk and continued to pack her stuff up.
I rolled my lips together as I just blinked as she picked up her bag. "I'll let you know when I make it back to work. We will have to do this again," she said as more kids entered my room and their eyes focused on the two of us. I gave her a smile, "Of course, hey, can I walk you outside?" I questioned and she just nodded her head as I grabbed her bag and I turned towards the class. I spotted Andy, who was on the team, "Andy, read the passage on my desk to the class. Everybody, I want you to write how that statement made you feel – just a few sentences. Nothing much. I'll be back in five minutes."
The class nodded as I handed Andy the paper and put my food away as I followed Gabi out of the door. She was waiting in the hallway as she held it together in front of my class but her tears were running freely. "Gabi," I tipped her chin backwards and she shook her head. "No. I need to get back to work. You have a class waiting for you. I'll see you tonight after the football game."
"Like hell I am going to that game. Do you think I am going to leave everything like this until nine tonight? No. I will see you after work." She shook her head, "No, I think I need a minute to just…understand everything you just told me. That you would rather have me than our children." I closed my eyes and I shook my head, "Gabi, that is not at all what I said. I said if something tragic happened and I had to make a damn choice that it was going to be you."
She blinked her eyes once and then again before nodding, "That sounds like you really don't care about any of my opinions." I just blinked as she turned and began to walk away. I followed her as I carried her bag and her food that she left behind. Cameron walked out of his classroom and he spotted Gabi and then followed up to face me with wide eyes. "Need me to check on your class?" I nodded my head and he just nodded as he walked off towards my room.
I followed Gabi outside as she approached her car, I reached into her bag and unlocked her car and she turned to face me. She held out her hands and I opened up her back door and set both things down. "I'm not going to say anything else on the subject," I told her as I shut the back door. "I am going to tell you that I love you. I love the babies. I am going to leave you alone but I do want to know when you make it back to work. Okay?"
My fingers grasped her chin and those brown eyes did everything to avoid mine but I felt her slight nod of her head. I pressed my lips to her forehead, "Thank you for bringing me lunch. I didn't mean to ruin your day. I just keep forgetting about it because it's been on my mind for a while. I love you." I whispered into her ear and she stiffened as she let out a cry. I just pulled her into my body as I held her close to me. She didn't wrap her arms around me but she also didn't push me away.
I let her go and she pulled back from me as she wiped her eyes, "I'll see you tonight," she said quietly. I just nodded as she got into her car and I shut her door. I made sure she was okay to drive before I took a step back. She reversed out of her spot and I exhaled heavily before I walked back inside. I scanned my badge to get back in and I walked back to the class room as there was the planned video playing with Cameron behind my desk.
His eyes held mine as I walked back into the class room as I just gave him a half smile as I scanned my classroom to see most of the kids not paying attention but I didn't actually care in the moment. The video would play for ten more minutes as I sat down in my chair as Cameron leaned against my desk. "Everything okay? She looked upset, you don't look so happy yourself," I just shook my head as I couldn't talk about this right now. "It's my fault. I'll explain at open gym though."
"Are you okay?" I just nodded my head again, "Thank you for coming to take over for me. I needed to make sure she was okay." Cameron nodded his head again, "Any chance you can take over at half time of the football game for me tonight?" I asked him and his eyes surveyed my face and he nodded, "You don't want the whole thing?" I shook my head. "No. I think she wants some space. I'll give her a half. I will then go home and plead my case,"
"Yea, that gives me time to get dinner with Len like I planned." I cursed, "Are you sure? I don't want to ruin your plans." Cameron shook his head, "Nope. That's okay. You clearly need to grovel." I couldn't even laugh which caused Cameron to frown. "I'll see you at open gym, okay?" I nodded. I closed my eyes as I ran my hands through my hair. Fuck, I really screwed this one up.
Gabi's POV
"Beth, why would he say something like that?" I was nearly sobbing on the couch as it was after work and I had called Beth over because I was losing my mind. I was in his t-shirt and a pair of leggings while Beth rubbed my back. "Gabi, I think, I think you need to really think about what he said. He didn't say anything about not loving those babies and wanting to do everything for them. I think he is saying – if he has to pick, he is going to pick you and how could you actually blame him for that choice?"
I wiped the tears away from my face but they were just quickly replaced, "Because these are our babies and I love them so much already. I want them. I want to love them and protect them and give them such a fighting chance at this world. If I don't give them a chance – why wouldn't I give them my life? He is going to be an amazing father." Beth turned her head to the side and she brushed my hair as I hiccupped.
"Gabi, sweetie, you see James, right? You see all of the struggle and heartache. Can you imagine if something happened to you and you leave him with twins that will never know their mother?" I blinked my eyes as I looked at her. "He might be an amazing father but he needs you as well. He doesn't know what the hell he is doing. He's going to learn from you and you are going to learn together. I think you need to really understand what I think he is trying to say to you. That if a tragic, tragic accident happens that he just wants you to know that if a decision has to be made – he is going to tell them to save you. There is only one of you. One Aunt Gabi. One Gabi. One Brie to him. He can't make a new you. A baby you haven't met? Yup, it would be tragic and heartbreaking for the both of you but you can have more."
"Why is he even thinking about this?" I asked as I tried to control my tears. "I think honestly it might be because of the twins. If you want my honest opinion. I highly doubt he has this much thought about this if you are having one baby but I assume since you talk high risk complications that it has him thinking a lot more about what labor and delivery look like or maybe something happening to the twins. Gabs, you do realize, that he met you in the hardest moments of grief and with all of the things going on right now that maybe he's just a little scared?"
I didn't say anything back because I really didn't know what to say. I watched TV with her as she rubbed my back and I rubbed my belly. Did he have a right to be scared? I hated that our lunch turned into that. I hated that he wasn't the one who could make me feel better. I hated that we were fighting about a highly unlikely situation. I literally hated all of it. I did text him when I got to the office and when I got home but he just liked them.
"I'm going to head back and help James, okay? Just…talk to him without your mom instincts jumping in quicky. I think he is brave for telling you that beforehand. I think he is brave for communicating his feelings about being scared. I think you really need to listen to him. He loves you so fucking much, Gabs. He just wants you. He wants these babies. He wants to marry you." I bit down on my lip and I looked up at her through tears.
"That was something he said to me. That he wanted to marry me on October 3rd." Beth just gave a smile as she squeezed my shoulder. "Exactly. He'll do it all to keep all of you safe but he is going to make sure you are the safest." I just nodded as she packed up and walked out. I heard a little commotion as she walked out and then he was standing there. In a James Island t-shirt and a pair of jeans with his untied shoes.
His blue eyes looked at mine from across the room and I busted into a puddle of tears. I covered my face as it only took two seconds for his entire body to engulf mine. "Fuck, Brie, I am so fucking sorry. I never meant to make you this upset. I wasn't trying to do this. I was just trying to communicate how I felt about the situation. The whole high-risk, NICU, complication talk has me freaking out half the time because I would do everything to make sure all three of you are healthy and happy."
"Are you scared?" I whispered into his shirt as if he didn't say it ten times earlier today. He just dropped his lips to my head as I felt his nod. "Yea, I am really fucking terrified. I'm scared that something could happen to both of them, one of them, all three of you. I never in my life want to see your heart break like I met you. I never want to see you go through that grief again. I never want to see you hurt like that again. I know I can't protect you from everything but this one has me scared."
I wrapped my arms around his body, "I'm sorry," I whispered into his shirt. Troy easily picked me up and he planted the two of us on the couch. "Listen, baby, all I was ever saying was if in any sort of random moment and the 0.01% chance that something happens – you are my priority. You always will be. It will be different after they are born and here but…until they are safely here. It's you and then both of them. Okay?"
"I just feel like that's so wrong." I whispered and Troy gently tilted my head back to press his lips to mine. "I know. I asked Lennon about it and she just told me to tell you. To talk about it. It mostly boils down that I am scared. I am so in love with you that I can't picture this life without you anymore. It's been on my mind since our last doctor's appointment and we talked about a lot of these things." He brushed his thumb over my cheek and he pressed his lips into my hair. "You brought it up about your therapy session and I kept forgetting to talk to you about it. I am sorry that I brought it up at lunch when we should have been spending time together. I should have waited. So, I am sorry. I am not sorry for telling you though."
I just wrapped my arms around his waist and let my head rest on his chest. He didn't say anything more but just held me in his grasp. "I never truly thought about what the twins would mean with complications. I just knew they were a thing," I finally said to him. "I didn't realize how much you were thinking about all of it." Troy sighed as he looped out fingers together before pulling me gently onto the couch. He pulled my body into his lap and he massaged my thigh.
"I think I am hyperaware of anything that could cause you anymore grief. I know that it is unavoidable that you will have to experience it again but I don't want that for you. I never want that for you and then I think of something happening to you and I just…I can't." I just curled up tighter into his body because I didn't want to understand but I understood. I hated it but I knew he would protect me and do everything for me. Our babies were going to be okay, that much I knew, because as their mom I just…knew.
Thursday, September 5th, 2019
17 Weeks Pregnant
Gabi's POV
"Hey, Gabi, I have this for you," Annie slipped into my office and I blinked twice before I lifted my eyes to look at her. She gave me a tiny smile but slid the paper over to me. I had been overly distracted this week. I had another scan this week to check on the babies and they were both growing and thriving together. They looked healthy in the quick glimpse they got of them. In two weeks, we would be doing our longer scan and search for the genders. They asked us last time if we wanted to search and I just wasn't in the head space this week.
Troy looked excited to find out yesterday but I just shook my head and he squeezed my hand in response in understanding. It wasn't the time for that. Today, I barely wanted to get out of bed but Troy had been a saint from above, per normal, and was doing everything he could think of to make life easier. After our, fight, if that's what we wanted to call it – everything went back to how they were prior. We had a long conversation about it, I talked to Regina about it, and they all were saying the same thing. They could never replace me and not that we could replace these babies either but they had to have me to make more babies.
It was a fucked-up conversation from beginning to end but I understood where Troy was getting at with the entire thing. He was scared because he didn't want to lose me. I am scared because I might lose them but, in the end, we were just…scared. I am glad we had the conversation and there is no correct answer. The decision if that ever happened wouldn't be an easy on but we are getting closer and closer to viability so that was promising.
But I couldn't stop thinking about Zoey.
I can't believe it's been almost exactly one year since I talked to her.
It's been over a year since I hugged her.
Laughed with her.
It's been a year and that…hurt.
"Gabi?" I blinked again as I tilted my head back to look at Annie. "Hm?" she gently pushed a piece of paper towards me. "You need to sign this." I just nodded blankly as I signed the piece of paper and she took it. I stared at my computer screen for I wasn't sure how long when my office door opened but I just closed my eyes. I didn't have the energy for this. "Brie," his voice was soft and I blinked open my eyes to see my handsome teacher in front of me.
The one I probably wouldn't have met without my sister dying. I wanted him and my sister.
That thought caused tears to well in my eyes.
"Gabi," Troy walked over and leaned against the desk. I could barely see him through the tears but he pulled me up gently and into his arms. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he whispered into my ear. I hated that he couldn't fix this like he fixed the last thing. I wish words were enough. I wish just being was enough. I hated it. "How about we take a drive? Hm?" I looked up at him and I wiped at my face. "I can't leave work," I told him. I already took tomorrow off.
"Baby, I don't think you are getting anything done anyways. Plus, Annie pulled some strings. You are coming with me." His fingers laced with mine as Troy pulled me against his body. Troy pressed his lips to my head and I just hugged him tightly. "I should send an email,"
"Gabs, Annie has it all handle. She is the one who called me. I was giving you the space but this is divine intervention. We both have tomorrow off. Let's just…go do something else, okay?" I blinked up my eyes towards him and I then just nodded. He smiled before folding our hands together and we quietly walked out of the office together. I kept my face in his shoulder as he pressed an elevator button down and we were outside in a matter of minutes.
"What are we going to do?" I asked him as we both got into his jeep. He looked over at me and shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know. Let's see where the wind takes us."
Troy's POV
I just kept driving. I really wasn't sure where I was going but I knew we couldn't stay there. I had Annie on watch of her all day today. She was growing distant over the past several days and I can honestly say she was never the same after our little tiff. I knew between that and the one-year anniversary of her sister there was just a lot on her mind. When she turned down finding out the genders the other day, I knew we were in deeper than I thought.
I also want to blame our tiff on pregnancy hormones but I still will admit bad time and bad place. I do not regret saying it though. I rolled my lips together as I glanced over in the passenger seat as she was passed out. She fell asleep after a quiet hour on the high way. I wasn't upset about it and I just continued to drive knowing that she needed a break. I had no plan. I had no help. I had no extra clothes.
All I knew was that I had to get her away and let her find herself again. I knew that she was going to want to be home tomorrow but tonight – tonight we could get away from this world. We were getting closer to the North Carolina border and I knew of a little town that we could stay in. I pulled off the highway to get gas and I found a little hotel on the beach as I booked a king bed for the two of us. I got back into the car when I looked over to see her still passed out and her phone buzzing.
Beth's name was on the front and I reached over for it. "Hi," I answered and Beth sighed from the other end. "Is she okay?" I shook my head forgetting that she couldn't see me. "No. She isn't. We're in North Carolina," I told her and Beth didn't say anything for a minute. "What happened?"
"She's just…empty." I told her as my eyes flickered back over to her. "She was freaking out at work so Annie told her boss that she needed to leave. I picked her up and I literally just started driving. She was quiet and she fell asleep in the car and I just…continued to drive. Is this what you did? Just drive?" I asked her and Beth laughed quietly. "Little bit. I had zero intentions on coming back. I'm assuming you two will be back tomorrow."
I laughed with a smiled, "Yea, I'm just getting her away for the night. We'll be back tomorrow. She wouldn't miss dinner with the kids." Beth didn't say anything for a moment, "Okay, I'll see you both tomorrows, okay?" I finished the rest of the drive into North Carolina as I pulled into the hotel parking lot. I glanced over at her again and she was still sleeping. I wasn't going to wake her so I pushed open the car door and spotted a little touristy gift shop.
I locked the car as I walked across the street as I picked up a t-shirt for myself and another one for her. I grabbed a pair of shorts for myself and her as I walked to the check out. The lady behind the counter eyed me but I ignored her while walking back to the car. I unlocked it as I took one look at her. I reached over towards her and rubbed her thigh gently with my hand as she grunted and turned her head. Her hand laid on top of mine and she flickered those brown eyes open.
She looked around in confusion and sat up with confusion in her eyes. They landed on me and her hand landed on her belly, "Where are we?" she asked with sleep laced in her voice. I pulled open a shirt and gave her a grin. "Ocean Isle Beach, North Carolina," she scrunched her face and looked around again. "We drove all the way to North Carolina?" I nodded my head up and down. "Yup, I just…continued to drive and I landed here. I figured we could just stay here tonight and then we can go home tomorrow."
She blinked once, twice, and then a third time before shaking her head. "I think I want to stay here tomorrow, too. This is my moment to run away. I want to run away." I gave her a full grin and I just nodded my head up and down. "Your wish is my command,"
Gabi's POV
Troy and I sat side by side on the beach after a trip to Target to grab some essential and a few extra clothes besides the tourist t-shirts that he grabbed. He was mostly just there for me which was exactly what I needed right now. I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to think. I just wanted to…be. His fingers ran down my leg and then found my hand as he folded our fingers together. "Have you been here before?" I questioned and Troy shook his head.
"No, I haven't. I just finally realized that this was a place to stop. It seems like a cute little town." I laid my head on his shoulder and he dropped his lips to my hair. "Are you sure you want to stay here tomorrow night? I am just clarifying before I book the hotel room another night." I nodded my head slowly. "It feels wrong but I just need a few days to breathe." I looked up at him and he nodded, "Like I said, your wish is my command. You are in charge."
I just smiled as I tilted my head back to look at the sun that was starting to shine in the ocean. The orange, pinks, and purples filling the sky. "Zoey loved watching the sun. James would wake her up early and they would sit outside cuddled under the blanket drinking their coffee swapping stories over the moon and the sun. It was their favorite part of their day together. I can't look at the moon or the sun without thinking about her."
His hand squeezed mine and I smiled while I continued to think about Zoey. I picked up my cell phone and I started to scroll back until I found videos of her. I watched videos of her. I listened to her voice. I laughed with her laugh. The tears rolled down my face and Troy did nothing but pull me into his lap and hold me back against him. He laughed every so often at the funny videos and rubbed his hand down my leg and rested it on my belly.
I felt the breeze shift and when I looked up the moon had replaced the sun. I could hear faint music behind me and the lights from restaurants on the beach were glowing with people and laughter. I inhaled the sea salt and sand as I twisted to face him. "Do you think I am insane for not going home to spend this day with my family?" I asked and Troy eyed me carefully while he shook his head. "No. I think you need to do what you need to do. This day is going to be hard on the whole family. We will be back on the 7th."
"I miss her," I whispered and he just nodded, "I know. I wish I could have met her but watching those videos and seeing those pictures – she looked like she had a really happy life. It seemed you had fun with her and that she loved her kids. I think Zoey is showing how much you have to live for and that she would want you to be happy. I want you to be happy. I know the past couple weeks have been weird and I apologize for starting that, again, but this isn't helping and I just need you to tell me what I can do to help you."
I wrapped my arms around his neck and I rested my head on his shoulder as those big arms wrapped around me. "I just need you to do this."
~T&G~
Friday, September 6th, 2019
The roar of the waves was loud and I woke up on the beach confused. I glanced around in several directions before I spotted a figure down on the beach. I squinted my eyes and strained to see who it was before pushing off the warm sand and walking towards the person. "Hello?" I called out. The figure turned and I stopped with a gasp as the brown hair waved in the winds. "Zoey?" I whispered. A grin came over her face and she nearly floated towards me before crashing into me with a big hug.
"Hi baby sister! Where have you been?" she asked me with a wide grin and she just laughed and shook her head, "No, I know exactly where you have been. Busy snuggling and making babies with that hot as fuck teacher. You're welcome by the way. I had to survey a ton of fucking men to find him. It was divine and much easier on my part to get you too to meet. I knew he was the one for you almost instantly. Do you love him like I think you love him?" her words were rapid fire and I just blinked a few times.
"Gabs?" she asked and she sighed, "Yes, sorry, I have been mostly stalking Lucy's dreams at night, sometimes James, and occasionally Blaine's but he isn't really ready for all of that yet. Anyways, I figured this was the night to see ya. But any who, do you love him?" I just nodded my head as I had no real other response. "Uhm more details than that?" she said with a bit of attitude and I just cleared my throat. "Yea, I love him. Like a lot. He is absolutely amazing and the person that was supposed to be in my life."
Zoey grinned, "I knew it! How are these babies?" she placed her hand on my stomach and suddenly a jolt pressed into it. I gasped and looked up at her, "They are kicking, stop panicking. You are going to be an amazing momma to them. Don't forget it. You should have used protection on that Savannah trip but I also thought you needed these babies in your life. Sorry, I'm really just trying to lock you down with Troy." She just grinned at me and I couldn't stop my laugh this time as she kicked her feet into the ocean.
"Zoey, are you…okay?" I whispered and she nodded her head as she spun around, "Yea, I am. I didn't want to go. I didn't want to leave you. I never wanted to leave Blaine and Lucy. I never in my life could have left James willingly but I had too and I knew you would take care of my family until they could stand up. You were dragging your feet a bit – hence why you met Troy. I needed you to back off a little bit. I've been trying to get James back on his feet but he's a stubborn mule." I just shook my head with a tiny smile as Zoey shrugged. "I would do anything to come back but I know I cannot. You are going to be an amazing mother. My kids will finally be cousins. I love you."
I blinked and I stared at her. "I am sorry that you went through all of that but I love you and I need you to know that. Thank you for taking care of my babies. For treating them as your own. Thank you for being there for James. Thank you for letting go and living your life again. I love seeing you laugh and smile. I promise, nothing bad is going to happen to those babies. I would never make Troy have to make that decision. Okay? He loves you so deeply, Gabi. He knows that he can't get you back."
I felt the tears fall down my face and she smiled softly, "I will be there in spirit on your wedding day. Okay?" I just nodded and she gave me a big smile, "I love you,"
I blinked as she stared to fade, "I love you, Zoey." I called quickly and she grinned over her shoulder. "Keep living your life, baby girl. Smile that smile, okay?" I just nodded and then suddenly she was gone. "ZOEY?" I screamed into the void. I spun around, "Zoey?!" I screamed again and I felt the world spinning around me.
"Gabi? Baby, Gabi?" I felt my eyes lurch open and I scrabbled up in the bed as I looked around the room as my heart was pounding, tears were rolling down my face and Troy was flickering on lights as I covered my face with my hands. "Brie, baby, what's wrong?" he whispered as he pulled me into his body. "I had a dream about Zoey and it felt so freaking real," I mumbled through my tears and sobs. Troy just brought me into his arms and he rocked me gently in bed.
"It's okay, was it a good dream?" he asked me after I had calmed down a little bit and I just nodded my head. "She was talking to me. Telling me how she got me pregnant to lock us down together," Troy snorted out a laugh and I couldn't stop my smile. "That she didn't want to leave us but she had too and," I gasped as the little foot pressed against my abdomen. "What?" he asked me with concern on his face.
"I can barely feel it, I'm not sure you will be able too," I grabbed his hand and pressed it to my belly where I felt another little flutter. "Wait, are they kicking?" Troy questioned and I nodded my head. "Yea, can you feel it?" he shook his head. "No, I can't but just knowing that you can makes me feel better."
"She told me she loved me and was happy I was happy again,"
Troy pressed his lips into my hair, "I love you," I curled into his body and I kissed his cheek and then his mouth softly. "Brie," he whispered against my lips and I just shook my head and kissed him a little bit harder. "I love you, thank you for walking beside me this year."
He brushed his fingers through my hair and he smiled, "Today means I met you nine months ago, which I can't honestly believe it's only been nine months. I feels like an entire lifetime with you but just know – I was honored to watch you battle this and overcome all of this. To see you grieve, battle, and smile in the end – to be the best aunt and now mother. You are such a shining star, Gabriella. I know your sister is proud of you."
Happy Sunday! I hope you all enjoyed the update! The one-year mark…so many emotions in this last chapter!
Please let me know all of your thoughts! Next chapter we get to find out the gender of the babies!
PLEASE REVIEW!
Also…I forgot I will be out of town on a bachelorette trip next weekend. You'll get your update for Nurse Montez first thing Monday morning after I get home!
Next Update: June 6th
