Sea-Salt Ice Cream
by Kyoto-chan
A/N: I'm insane. Don't mind me.
This is rated T...JUST BECAUSE. :D (C'mon, false lemon and cussing. What more could make it T? XD)
Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts belongs to Tetsuya Nomura and the rest of the people at Square-Enix. And to Disney, as long as I'm in the US.
Special thanks to OkashiraShinomori for giving me some ideas, while I'm at it. XD
"...boy I'm hungry. Devising a plot to take over Kingdom Hearts is a hard job."
With that, a silver-haired man left his room, and began to head towards the kitchen. Of course, we all know who this silver-haired guy is, right! OF COURSE! IT'S MANSEX! Uh, I mean, XEMNAS!
Xemnas approached the closed door of the kitchen, and was about to turn the knob and open before he began to hear voices inside the kitchen.
"...you got it last time!"
"Hey, this is for your own good, buddy! Too much of it is bad for you!"
...hey, that sounds a lot like numbers eight and thirteen! Xemnas thought to himself.
"AXEL, GIVE IT TO ME! PLEEEEEEEEEEASSSSSEEEEEE!"
"NO!"
"I want it, I want it, I want it, I want it!"
CLANG.
"ROXAS, GET THE FUCK OF ME!"
"I SAID I WANT IT, DAMMIT! NOW WHERE'D YOU PUT IT!"
"I'M NOT LETTING YOU HAVE IT!"
Xemnas began to turn pink as his imagination began to picture the scene.
...eight...thirteen...how could you? FUCKING IN THE KITCHEN OF ALL PLACES! Xemnas gasped.
"WAIT! NO! ROXAS! YOU'RE GOING TO BREAK SOMETHING!"
"I. DON'T. CARE! I WANT IT!"
SMASH.
"...Aw shit, I broke the plates."
"See, Roxas! I said you were going to break something!"
Xemnas heard a low growl.
"Shut. Up."
Afterwards, he heard a gulp.
"Now where the hell is it!"
"I said I'm not going to tell you!"
"I FOUND IT! ...OH SHIT IT'S FUCKING COLD! AXEL, WARM IT UP!"
WOOSH.
"OW! AXEL, YOU DUMBASS! YOU NEARLY BURNED M - oh hell. LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID!"
That was it. Xemnas was not going to let those two make his kitchen unsanitary. He covered his eyes with one hand, and opened the door with the other.
"...what I did! You told me to fucking warm it up! So I warmed it up!"
Xemnas yelled, "EIGHT AND THIRTEEN! KEEP WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING TO YOUR BEDROOMS! I AM NOT GOING TO LET YOU TWO FUCK IN THE KITCHEN! WHAT DO YOU THINK THE OTHERS WOULD DO IF THEY FOUND OUT WHAT YOU GUYS WERE DOING!"
A silence filled the air as Xemnas' "doing" echoed through the kitchen. Axel and Roxas became extremely red at what the Superior thought they were doing in the kitchen.
Roxas was the first to break the silence.
"Uh...Mr. Superior, sir, we were not doing um...what you think we were doing...eheheheh..."
Xemnas took the hand off of his eyes and looked at the pair in front of him. He saw the melted blue popsicle in Roxas' hand.
"...you...were...fighting...over...ice...cream..."
"Y-yes, sir."
Another silence filled the room, which was broken this time by the other Organization XIII members rushing to the kitchen, hearing Xemnas' earlier scream.
Luxord exclaimed, "GUYS! AXEL AND ROXAS ARE..."
They crowded themselves in, surrounded around the trio, hoping to see the "forbidden love" in action.
Axel groaned, "...oh you have got to be kidding me."
"...well, sir, there's your answer," Roxas laughed nervously.
...It's official. I'm an idiot. XD
Yes, Xemnas is supposed to be OOC. Now it wouldn't be funny if he wasn't perverted in this story, now would it? XD
R&R!
