Chapter 33 – Whirlwind
Wednesday, December 25th, 2019
Gabi's POV
I laid back against Troy as we stared up at the Christmas tree as we spent the whole day with family from my family to his family and we were finally just settling in for the night at our house. The lights twinkled from the tree as Troy and I had exchanged minimal gifts, just little things, with each other as we were truly saving everything. My favorite gift came from my sister though as she worked a miracle in 5 days.
She bought soft baby blankets with their names on them. Saylor's was a soft pink with her name all over it and then Suttons was a navy color with his name all over. They were so soft and I absolutely loved them. She also had ordered me wooden signs with their names on them but they wouldn't come in for a handful of days. I planned to hang them above their cribs. Troy rubbed my belly as he exhaled as we were enjoying our days together with neither of us working.
"How are you feeling?" he asked and I smiled as I turned towards him, "I'm tired. These babies are draining everything out of me."
"We have another growth scan tomorrow; I just hope it goes well." I whispered and Troy rubbed my belly, "I hope so, baby. We are going to take it one day at a time. I just hope that you enjoyed Christmas." I nodded my head as he kissed my lips. "I am so thankful for our family. These babies are going to be so loved." Troy grinned, "I knew they would. My mom is just going to have the best 2020 with all of the weddings and babies."
I groaned, "I definitely need to start planning our wedding." Troy chuckled, "We are going to be full speed ahead once these babies are here." Troy spread his fingers over my belly as one of the babies kicked and rolled. "What colors are you thinking?" he asked me as if to keep my mind busy. "I want you in navy, that's for sure," I told him and he just chuckled and I played with his fingers. "Maybe navy and maroon? Or Navy and green? I don't know. I'll have to see what my bridesmaids look better in."
"Who are you thinking for that? I have to have five," he spoke and I laughed, "I know. I know for sure Jenna, Beth, Macken, and I don't know. I think Annie because we have gotten a lot closer of the past year and maybe Ada? I love when we hang out." Troy brushed his fingers through my hair, "You would put my sister and brother's fiancé in our wedding?" I nodded my head, "I really got close to Macken during our time apart and we still get coffee together. Plus, she is your sister. Ada is amazing."
"That would put us both at five." Troy grinned, "Good job," he kissed my head and I squeezed his hand as I love how he never questioned his. They were having their own big Christmas party tomorrow and we were doing it here mostly so I could rest. I didn't have much energy left inside of me lately. Troy stroked my hair and I rested my head on his chest. "You ready for bed?" I shook my head, "Not yet. I just want to bask in the Christmas glow a little longer. This time next year we'll have little ones to celebrate Christmas with and I think that is one of the things I am most excited for. I am excited to start our own traditions."
He kissed my lips and smiled with a nod, "I can't wait either but let's keep those babies in there a little longer."
Monday, December 30th, 2019
33 Weeks Pregnant
Gabi's POV
Troy laid on his side next to me as we were curled in bed together, his lips pressing onto my shoulder. His fingers spread over my belly as he smiled, "Saylor and Sutton…I really think we outdid their names here." Troy mentioned and I just laughed as I had been exhausted recently. I was having more frequent Braxton hick's contractions over the last several days and my doctor asked me to rest which Troy took seriously. My last growth scan went okay, they were a little bigger but Dr. Willis was still concerned. Not enough to do anything now but to continue those weekly scans.
"I do like them a lot, I can't wait to see them in like a month," I joked with him and he smiled while pressing his lips to my temple. "What do you have today?" I asked him as our fingers locked together over the front of my belly. "Just an open gym for the boys. We don't start practice back up until after the New Year." I nodded as that meant Troy wasn't going to be gone that long today. "You promise to take it easy today?" I nodded my head.
"I am too tired to do anything else." I told him. Troy pushed up to hover over me as he tried to gauge my mood. "Let me help you relax a little," he whispered as our lips connected and his fingers wormed down my stomach and to my folds that were lacking underwear. "Brie," he nearly moaned as sex had not been top priority lately. I was exhausted, big, and uncomfortable in just about any position.
He rolled off the bed and gently rolled my legs to the edge of the bed where he spread them wide so his tongue could do all the work. "Troy," I grabbed at his hair and I tried to pull him closer and closer to me. "Relax baby, just let it happen," he murmured while dipping his tongue and rubbing against me. My hips bucked up in response and he pushed me back down gently. His fingers did some witch craft and I was releasing around him as his tongue cleaned just about everything up.
"Troy," I whimpered with how intense my orgasm was and he just chuckled while pulling me back into bed. I reached down for his hard penis and he moved away from me. "Troy, c'mon, it's been weeks," I told him and he laughed, "I know. I need you to rest though and doing anything like that will not be rest. Okay? I got it." I sighed in dramatics as Troy disappeared into the bathroom. I rolled and tried to come down from that high as I rubbed my belly.
They were both moving around in there and I smiled thinking that it wouldn't be that much longer until they were here. I picked up my phone as I scrolled through it as I checked in with Jenna, my mom and Beth. They all wanted to have a little New Year's Eve party tomorrow but I wasn't sure if I was ready for it. If I felt up to it. The further in his pregnancy the more uncomfortable I was becoming.
A pain tingled in my back but I mostly ignored it as it went away with movement. Luna hopped up into bed as I cuddled up with her. Troy came back out of the bathroom showered and dressed for open gym. "I'll grab coffee on my way back, okay? Text me if you need anything." I nodded as he dropped a kiss to my lips. "I love you," I told him as I brushed my fingers through his hair. Our eyes connected and he gave me a brief smile.
"I love you, too. Please rest with Luna, okay?" I agreed as he grabbed his backpack and keys before heading downstairs. I laid in bed for another thirty minutes and I got up to take a shower and use the restroom before going downstairs to clean up the kitchen a little bit. I ate a small breakfast and carried my water to the couch as I settled into it trying to get comfy but the back pain kept coming back every so often.
I tried to relax into the couch on my side as I turned on my favorite TV show. Maybe if I am able to just take my focus off of the lingering pain in my back, I will be able to forget about it. I paid attention to the show that I was gripped into but every so often that pain creeped back into my back and around to my front. I rubbed my belly as I held my hands over it, "C'mon, you two. Stop messing with mommy," I whispered to them. My eyes flickered to the clock to see that Troy wouldn't be home for a couple more hours. I could hold off. Nothing bad was going to happen.
My eyes closed as I just rested but I could never fall asleep because of the increasing pain that was building. This was just Braxton hicks. It had to be. Just rest. My thoughts were running a million miles a minute because I was only 33 weeks. We still had several weeks to go before they were supposed to be here and they were both on the smaller side for growth. No, this was too early.
But it was different.
It was all in my back and crept around to my front.
They were consistent, or they felt consistent.
My hand rubbed my belly as I felt the worry build in my chest and the panic began to swell in my throat. My eyes lingered on the clock to see that it was just past 10:15 and when another one happened it was 10:24. I couldn't stop the tears that filled my eyes with the panic that filled every inch of my body. I gave it twenty more minutes and with two more back pains, probably contractions, I found my phone with tears already streaming down my face with just worry. I was scared and worried. It wasn't time for them yet. I called Troy once and he didn't answer his phone which caused more panic to build in my system so I tried to call him again.
"Brie, you, okay? I'm trying to wrap up here." He seemed distracted and I couldn't stop the tears as I tried to speak, "I keep having these pains in my back like every nine minutes," I hiccupped as I tried to stop the tears. "It's been going on for like an hour and they are getting stronger and I'm only 33 weeks Troy, I'm only 33 weeks," I was a blubbering mess on the phone. "It's too early to have contractions." I was in near melt down mode as Troy was trying to get any sort of word in. "Brie, baby, shh, hey, calm down. Explain it to me again. What's going on?" I took a deep breath as another one happened and I clutched my back. "I keep having these really sharp back pains every nine minutes and it's been going on for like an hour. They only last for a handful of seconds and then they go away before happening again. I think it's contractions, Troy. Like real ones and I'm scared," I said as I lost my cool with those words. I'm scared.
"Cameron, I gotta go. Wrap this up," I heard Troy's voice through the phone, "Brie, baby, it's okay. I'm on my way home right now. I'm already in my car. Take a deep breath for me, okay?" I tried too but it only came out in a hiccup. "Do you want to call your mom?" he asked and I just nodded my head, "I'll be home in less than eight minutes. Call her. Talk to her and see what she says but I am not going to leave you, okay? I'm going to be right by your side." I covered my face as another contraction happened and I felt the pain grow even more intense. "Okay," I whispered to him.
"I love you; I'll be home soon."
I hung up the phone as I wiped my tears away and I called my mom to explain everything to her. "Oh sweetie, you probably need to go get checked out. Are you doing, okay? Do you want me to come with you?" I closed my eyes, "What if it's fake?" I asked her as another one took over and she sighed, "It could be, Gabi but with twins, it isn't uncommon to go into preterm labor and you are having contractions."
"I'm scared mom, what if something happens to one of them?" I covered my mouth after I said the words and my mom wasn't sure what to say on the other end because she went quiet. "Let's take it one day at a time, okay? Do you want me to come to the house or the hospital?" she asked me and I closed my eyes tightly because if I spoke, I was going to start crying again. She must have known, "I'll be over at the house in fifteen minutes, okay?" I just nodded as the garage door was shutting and I could hear Troy's quick pace through the house. "Brie," I couldn't even look at him as I just threw myself into his body and he wrapped his arms around me.
His lips buried into my hair and I cried into his shirt, he didn't say anything. He just held me against him as he rubbed my back. "What do we need to do?" he finally asked me and I sniffled as I pulled away from him as another contraction took over my body and I closed my eyes grimacing from the pain. "Their bag is packed in the nursery, mine is in our room. I didn't put anything in there for you." Troy gently sat me back on the couch and nodded his head, "Okay, let me just throw a handful of things in a bag and then we can go. Did you call the doctor?" I shook my head and he nodded as he cupped my face with his hands. "I'll call them, okay? You just sit here." His blue eyes held mine and he looked right at me, "I know you're scared, baby girl. I'm scared right there with you but we're going to do this together, okay?" I nodded my head and he brushed his lips to my forehead.
He jogged upstairs as he was calling the hospital while I continued to watch my contraction go from 9 minutes apart to almost 8. Luna was nestled at my side as she could feel the worry rolling off me. "Gabi?" my mom called out and she walked into the living room, "Oh sweetie," she dropped down next to me and gave me a big hug and I just hugged her back. "Where's Troy?" she asked. "He's getting our bags and throwing some last-minute stuff into them." I hiccupped and she nodded, "Hopefully if you bring them then you won't need them." I gave a half hopeful smile as Troy came back down and spotted my mom.
"Hi Gina," he said with a smile, "Did you get everything? I can grab whatever," she offered and he nodded, "I think I got most of it. The triage nurse said they want you to come in to see if they are real contractions and if they are they are going to try and stop them." I just nodded my head and Troy helped me off the couch. "She said Dr. Willis is on the floor today," I was thankful for that as Troy helped me into the Jeep. "I will meet you guys there, okay?" Troy nodded and I thanked her as she went to her car. Troy got into his side and clasped our hands together, "Hey," I looked over at him and he squeezed my hand once our eyes made contact.
"It's going to be okay, one thing at a time."
"You promise to stay by my side no matter what?" Troy nodded his head, "Yes, Brie, of course." I just nodded my head as he started to drive and I just stared out the window as each contraction continued to happen. Troy never let go of my hand and when we pulled up to the hospital, he parked the car and helped me get out. "Do you want a wheelchair?" he asked and I shook my head no as he just nodded and walked with me. We went up to labor and delivery where they put us in a triage room and had me change into a gown. They had my mom wait in the waiting room for now to see how this was all going to unfold.
"Gabi, I'll be your nurse for now, my name is Julia," I gave a smile as I explained everything that had happened since 9 this morning and hadn't stopped but only progressed. She agreed that it sounded like true labor but they still were going to monitor for thirty minutes to see. She strapped me to the monitors as she found both of their heart beats to monitor and the third one for contractions. Another contraction hit and I closed my eyes and grimaced, "That is definitely a contraction," she said watching the monitor.
"How do you know?" Troy asked and she explained the graph and just nodded as he sat by my head and brushed my hair away from my face. His touch and presence were calming, "We're going to do a cervical dilation check, okay?" Troy just held my hand as another contraction happened when the nurse checked my cervix. "You're 3 almost four centimeters dilated, you are definitely in labor but there is a tiny hope that we can slow it down." That cued the water works all over again as I covered my face. "Let me grab Dr. Willis and we'll make a game plan,"
"What did I do wrong?" I asked looking over at Troy and he brushed my hair away, "Nothing baby, you did nothing wrong. Dr. Willis told us this was a possibility with twins. This isn't your fault. Okay?" I just shook my head no and Troy brushed my hair away from my face. "What if one them isn't, okay?" my lips trembled and I could see the pain in Troy's expression from not being able to help me and comfort me. "We are going to do everything we can, okay?" I couldn't respond as I just closed my eyes.
The door opened to the room and Dr. Willis showed up, "Gabi, sweetie, I did not want to see you here today." I tried to muster up a smile but I couldn't. She could sense the fear rolling off my body as she scooted up on a chair and sat next to me. "This is normal with twins, Gabi. It's not what we want and what we try to prevent but this is not your fault. You did everything right. Okay? We are going to try and slow down your labor, get some steroids in to help with their lung development, and see where we go from there." I just nodded my head, "Are they going to be, okay?" I asked and she squeezed my shoulder, "They are going to be well taken care of. You have my word. This is only a level 2 NICU though. If we aren't able to stop labor, I am going to arrange for transport to the local children's hospital for them so they have the best care in a top-level facility. They are in Charleston."
"So, I wouldn't be able to see them? They wouldn't be here?" the panic welled in my chest and Dr. Willis pressed her hand on my shoulder gently. "It would be for the best, Gabi. If you do well after twenty-four hours, I would let you go early but the last ultrasound they were both breech. If they are still both breech, we have to do a c-section and I would like to keep you 48 hours." I shook my head, "No, I have to go with my babies. I have too," I told her and I was losing my cool and Troy grabbed both of my hands. "Brie," his voice was a whisper but it was enough for me to fall back and give up the fight.
"Let's work on stopping contractions first and go from there, we are going to do everything we can to keep you all together but if they come in the next twenty-four hours, I have to send them to another NICU." I just nodded my head and she squeezed my shoulder. "Let's get you settled into a room and we are going to start with some magnesium. It's going to make you feel like shit. Then we are going to do steroids and anything else to try and stop labor."
Dr. Willis left the room and Troy just scooped me up into his arms and I cried into his shoulder. His fingers brushed through my hair and he just held me whispering that he was right here with me and that everything was going to work out. It wasn't long before Julia was taking us to a bigger labor suite where everything began to happen at rapid speed. My mom joined us in the back and she sat on the other side of me while Troy continued to hold my hand and field questions as I was in a complete daze. They started two different IVs and all of the drugs were hung. They continued to monitor my contractions that had yet to lessen in any fashion but only gotten stronger.
They wheeled an ultrasound machine into the room as I blinked watching them squirt the jelly onto my belly. "Troy," he looked at me and I stared at him, "Thank you for doing this for me," I whispered to him. "I can't focus on anything and I am just really thankful that you are right here and I'm sorry I'm a mess," I whispered and he shook his head while pressing his forehead to mine. "You have every right to be. This is scary. This is really scary." I just nodded my head and he cupped my face as they continued with the ultrasound. I saw his own watery eyes and we just kept our fingers clasped together tightly while we watched our two babies on the screen.
"They both seem to be doing just okay in there," the ultrasound tech said with a smile on her face, we listened to their heartbeats and that alone gave me comfort. "Do you have names for them?" she asked and Troy nodded with a smile. "Our little girl is Saylor Claire and our little man is Sutton Tate."
She gushed, "Those are beautiful names," she finished the ultrasound and I just looked up at Troy. "We are going to be okay," he whispered, "If they are born early you have to go with them." I told him, "You have to be with them." I told him and he grimaced, "I don't want to leave you."
"No, you have to be their advocate. You have to be their person if they are not going to let me go. My mom will stay with me."
"I will be with her Troy, if it comes to that," Troy hesitantly nodded his head, "Okay, okay," he brushed his hand over hair as Dr. Willis came back into the room and she sat next to the bed again. "The babies are both still breech, Gabi. I am so sorry," I closed my eyes and she put her hand comfortably on mine. "We're going to give the mag about two hours and see what happens. That will give us enough time to let the steroids start to work. We'll see where you are at and go from there. We will have to have a c-section though if it comes down to it."
"Can I please leave after 24 hours? I don't want to be separated from my babies." I told her and she gave me a sympathetic look, "If you are doing okay at 24 hours I will consider it, Gabi, but if there is any questioning or hesitation, I will keep you for another day." I shook my head and she just squeezed my hand. "You have to be safe and healthy, too. Your babies need you." Troy cleared his throat as I knew he was in agreement. "I promise that I will be on my best behavior with the twins at their hospital. I won't overdo it. Troy won't let me. I just have to be there with them."
"We are going to play it by ear, hopefully, we can slow your labor down and give several more days. I can't promise that though and I need you to be prepared for all possibilities." I just nodded my head and she squeezed my free hand. "I am going to take care of you." Troy thanked her as they all started to leave the room as my contractions were still consistently every 8-10 minutes. Troy's phone rang a handful of times but he ignored most of them as he kept all of his attention on me.
"Call your mom and tell her," I told him and his eyes surveyed me and he nodded, "Will you grab my phone?" I asked him and he nodded his head as he handed me my cell phone as he picked up his. "I'm going to call Cameron and let them know what's going on, okay?" I nodded as he dialed the number and he sat on the chair as Cameron answered. "Hey, is everything okay? You ran out of there before any of us could blink."
Troy cleared his throat, "Uh, yea, Gabs went into pre-term labor. We're in the hospital hoping to slow it all down but we might be having these babies sooner than later." He said, those blue eyes lifted to mine and Cameron hissed through the other end of the line. "I'm sorry, man, is there anything we can do?"
"I just need you to take over the basketball team for a while. I'm not sure what's going to happen next and what not but can you just…take the whole basketball team thing over for a bit?"
"Jesus, yes, Troy, don't worry about it. We have the basketball. You focus on Gabi, Saylor, and Sutton, okay?" he just nodded as his eyes leveled with mine. "Thanks man, you can tell the other four. I just need to call my mom and be with Gabi."
"Of course, I'll spread the news."
I called Jenna as my mom had already called Beth who was hopping on the next flight out. Jenna told me to call her with any needs and updates as I agreed while Troy called his mom, Brady, and Macken. Troy let his hand fold in mine as we just waited, my contractions didn't get any stronger but they were still there. Once the mag hit, I felt nauseated and clammy. The kept giving me medications to combat it as my body shook from it.
Troy just supported me through all of it. I grimaced from another contraction when his forehead hit mine, "I love you, you are being so strong." He whispered and I smiled softly as I gripped the back of his neck. "I love you, too."
Troy's POV
Gabi was resting finally as her cheeks were still stained with tears as it was already well into the evening as they were still monitoring everything. She had dilated another centimeter but her contractions had grown further apart. They were happy with that for now but she had to stop dilating for it to truly be effective. I brushed my finger over her hair as I looked up at Gina, "I'm going to take a lap and grab some food. I haven't eaten anything but a protein bar this morning. If she wakes up, will you tell her?" Gina nodded with a smile, "I've got her."
I thanked her as I took a step outside of the room and to the waiting room when I came to a full stop to see my four best friends sitting in chairs all on their phones talking to each other. I just stopped and Jax looked up first he nudged Jesse who looked up causing all of them to glance up. I couldn't stop the lump in my throat from growing knowing that they were all here for me. For Gabi. For our kids.
Dylan and Cameron stood up following the other two as I walked forward, "How is everything?" Dylan asked and I tried to speak as I tilted my head back trying to stop the slaughter of emotions. I scrubbed my face as the first tears leaked out of my eyes. "She's so fucking scared and I can't help her," I couldn't stop the tears which caused Dylan and Jax to rub my shoulder. "I can't do anything to help her." I collapsed in the chair as they each formed a circle.
"You just being with her is being there with her."
"I'm fucking scared," I admitted looking up as I pressed my palms into my eyes. "I'm really fucking scared."
"I'm sorry man, I'm so sorry," Jesse said as he leaned into me. "I want nothing more than for Gabi to be okay, but she is terrified out of her mind. If they can't get her contractions and dilation to stop, she'll have to have a c-section. The twins will have to go to a different hospital and she wants to go with them but she can't. I'll have to leave her here to go with them and I can't leave her." I scrubbed my face. "Buddy, we will constantly have somebody with Gabi. Any of our girls, any of us, I know her parents will be here, Beth, you have to be there for your kids though. Nobody can be there for them like their father."
I wiped away the lingering tears as I inhaled sharply, "It's just the fact that she can't come with me that guts me. She shouldn't be separated from her kids. This shouldn't be happening. I'm trying to be strong for her because she is utterly terrified but it's hard to tell her that everything is going to be okay when I have no idea. What if they both come out really fucking sick because they are only 33 weeks?"
"They are going to get the care they need and you have an army of support with you. Like I said, Gabi is never going to be alone and you will never be alone in this until you can be together again after it all happens – if it all happens." I brushed my fingers through my hair. Jax patted my back and he smiled, "She is one of us, Troy. Your kids are our niece and nephew. Nothing is going to happen without all of us being a part of it."
I just leaned into my best friends because I truly couldn't do this without them. "Do not worry a moment about the basketball team. We have them. You focus on your three. Your family." I just nodded so grateful for the four men sitting next to me knowing that they would literally walk through a hurricane for me.
Gabi's POV
I woke up with a strong contraction and I hissed through the pain as I twisted around looking for Troy and panicked when I couldn't find him. "Troy," I sat up and my mom came over quickly, "Shh, sweetie, he just went to grab something to eat and drink. He'll be right back, okay? Don't panic." I swallowed on the fear as my belly seized again and I groaned leaning forward. "Call the nurse," I said and she just nodded as she went to get the nurse just as Troy came back into the room as I had another strong contraction before a trickle of water rolled down my leg.
"Brie?" he only took two steps before he was standing next to me, "I think my water broke, my contractions are really strong," I was shaking and Troy looked as if he had been an emotional mess before this but had put himself back together. He just grabbed my hand and held it tightly as the nurse came in when I had another contraction which was almost too close to the other one. "I think my water broke," I told her and she gave me a sympathetic look and nodded, "Your contractions are picking up again, Gabi, we may not be able to avoid stopping this." I just nodded my head as I grabbed onto Troy's arm.
"Let's see how much we've dilated and I'll call Dr. Willis." It didn't take long to do the cervical exam and she patted my leg gently. "You've dilated nearly to a five," I just covered my face with my free hand as Julia squeezed my knee softly. "Let me call Dr. Willis, okay?" I just nodded as Troy bent down and pressed his forehead against mine. "We got this, okay, baby? We got this," I just nodded and he swiped my tears away. "You have to go with them tonight." I whispered to him and he looked utterly pained at my words.
"I won't leave her side, Troy." Troy just nodded and he brushed his lips to my forehead, "If I could be in two places at once I would." I squeezed his hand, "I know. I will be okay though." He kissed my forehead and Dr. Willis walked into the room. "I wish this could have not have turned this way," she told me softly, "But it isn't working and those two are being persistent on making their appearance today. I already called transport for the other hospital and once they are here, we will do this, okay? You will be awake for your entire c-section, Troy will be with you the entire time. Once they get the babies stabilized, they will transport over. Troy you will have to drive separately but they will be expecting you." Troy just nodded his head.
"What if they are really sick? Can I leave earlier if they are really sick?" I asked and I felt Troy flinch as he knew what I was asking. If one of them is dying, can I leave. "Yes, if they think one of them is too unstable and not doing well, I will get you over there as fast I can, okay?" my eyes welled with tears but I nodded, "Will I get to see them?"
"We will try our hardest to give you a minute with them but between the mag and being early they may need a lot of respiratory support. They may not cry and I don't want you to panic if they don't. The drugs we give you tends to make them really floppy and not nearly as awake and alert. We have the best coming to take care of them." I just nodded again and Dr. Willis squeezed my hand. "I am going to take care of you and they will take care of them."
"Okay," I whispered and she nodded, "Okay, let's sign some consents and get everything rolling before your labor progresses too much further and you are trying to push these babies out." She left the room and Troy sat on the edge of the bed as he looked at me. "Gabs, I want to know what you want me to do." I took a deep breath and I blinked my tears away. "I want you to be with them because if something happens, I need to know that somebody who absolutely loves them is with them. I want to do everything any doctor suggests for them. I want fight for them. I want you to update me as much as you can and send pictures. Hold them if you can. I want them to know how loved they are."
His thumb swiped the tears away and he nodded, "I can do that." I wrapped my arms around his neck and just hugged him so tightly. His arms wrapped around mine and we just held each other for a few moments as I didn't want to let go because everything was going to get real soon. I blinked my eyes and I inhaled deeply knowing that I had to be strong now. I could be scared, terrified, and unprepared for the unknown but I had to be strong for them. They needed their mom to be okay for them. Troy buried his lips into my hair and once we both let go, we both made eye contact.
"We can do this," he whispered and I just nodded my head, "I can't wait to see their faces," I whispered and Troy smiled, "I can't wait to see if they have any hair," I laughed with a tiny smile, "Or if they have blue or brown eyes." Troy just smiled and kissed my head. "We're going to be parents," he whispered and I inhaled, "The best parents,"
His lips touched mine briefly before all of the forms were coming in to be signed. Since Troy and I were not legally married they were all falling underneath my name and I had to give Troy the permission and identify him as the father. We both signed that we had consent to make decisions on each other behalf. We signed the transportation waiver. I signed that Troy had complete permission to make all decisions about our children and me. I signed consent for a spinal to numb me from the waist down. They went over everything with the both of us to prepare us for the OR. Troy and I took a picture together at my mom's request and he inhaled, "We got this." I just nodded.
Troy just squeezed my hand as my mom hugged me tightly, "You are going to rock it back there. Troy is going to be right by your side the entire time." I just hugged my mom extra tight, "I'll see you in recovery," I whispered to her as they knew Troy was going to follow the babies and my mom was going to become my support person. "Okay, their transport team is rolling up in five minutes. We are going to head back there. Are you ready?" I nodded as my contraction only got stronger but they were giving me IV medication to wait until my spinal.
The nerves riddled my stomach as they put a hat on me and Troy squeezed my hand. "I'll see you back there as soon as you are ready," he whispered into my ear. "Stay strong, pretty girl." I just nodded as I squeezed his hand tightly. "I'll see ya back there,"
They wheeled me back as Troy was left in a holding area, I tried to keep my tears at bay as we rolled back but my night shift nurse, Madison, stood right by my side. "I know how scary all of this is but we are going to take good care of you, Ms. Montez. Are you and Troy dating? Engaged?" she asked me and I sniffled as I wiped my tears away. "We're engaged. We're set to get married in October." She smiled, "I bet that will be a beautiful wedding. I can tell how much he loves you." I smiled with a tiny nod, "Yea, we've only been together for a year now but I feel like I've known him for 10 years. He's my soul mate and shows me so much love."
"Where did you meet?" they had me transfer to a different table as they had me sit up so they could do my spinal but Madison stood in front of me. "At a basketball game. He's a coach at James Island and my nephew plays for West Ashley. He was scouting the game and he used some lame pick-up line and we just kinda hit it off from there. Our first date lasted longer than 12 hours and we never really looked back." Madison smiled wide, "That sounds like true love to me," the continued to prep me as Madison continued to talk to me about random things. How we got their names, more about Troy and I, and also informing of everything that was happening around me to ease all of my anxiety.
"Troy might have mentioned to me that your sister died not that long ago in the OR, I just want to make sure you are completely aware of your surroundings and what is happening." Madison said with a soft smile. I felt the tears well in my eyes as I nodded, "Not from pregnancy," I told her and she smiled, "I know. He told me. He just wanted me to be there for you right now." I swallowed on the tears, "I love him so much," I told her and Madison laughed with a smile. "I can tell. I'm going to go get him because you are ready," I nodded as I swiped the tears away and she walked off to go get him.
He walked in with a pair of OR scrubs on and his own hat on his head as his eyes softened staring at me. They pulled up a chair for him and he settled in right next to me as he kissed my forehead. "Are you okay?" I just nodded my head and his lips pressed to mine. More people filled the OR as there was a steady buzz but Madison stood right by us and kept informing us of everything. Transport was here ready to take care of our babies. Two teams of doctors. Two teams of nurses.
"Gabi? Are you ready to see these sweet babies?" I just nodded as Troy laced his fingers with mine. "We're going to hate having our babies' birthdays right after Christmas," I whispered and Troy cracked a smile, "Maybe we make them wait until their actual due date." I smiled as they explained they were making the incision and I should only ever feel pressure. The OR was calm once everything started and there was soft music playing in the background as I just stared at Troy's face as his thumb stroked my face. I couldn't stop shaking but Madison told me that was normal and added another warm blanket on top of me to help.
"Alright, Gabi, we're coming up on your first little one." Troy squeezed my fingers as I waited for anything to know that he was here.
"Time of birth 19:32," Dr. Willis called out but there was no crying, I never saw him, before I heard more action in the room. I closed my eyes as the tears welled up. I used my free hand to cover my face as I tried to control the tears that were freely falling. "Time of birth 19:35," Dr. Willis called again and there was only a tiny squeak of a noise as my own sobs were the only ones that were heard. "Baby A is doing okay, he seems to just be really lethargic and they are giving him some positive pressure to help him breathe," Madison said quietly as I opened my eyes to see Troy's face watching where they took our two babies.
Madison squeezed my other hand, "I don't want you to panic Gabi, they are intubating baby B, is that your little girl?" I nodded as I couldn't stop my tears and Troy stroked my face gently, "Dr. Willis said they might just be depressed from the mag, it could be a short-term thing. Okay? They are doing everything to stabilize them." Troy had his own tears in his eyes as he was able to watch the scene unfold in front of him. "Dad, do you want to go see the both of them and take a picture for mom?" Madison questioned and Troy just nodded as he wiped at his own eyes before turning to me and kissing my lips softly, "I am so proud of you," he whispered and I just grabbed his neck and pressed my face into his neck.
"I want to see them before they leave," I whispered and he just nodded his head before Madison escorted him over to the table. "Gabi, you are doing great. I know how scary it is to not hear them cry but they are both breathing, okay? They just need extra help." I just nodded my head because I couldn't believe any of this. I hated it.
Troy's POV
Madison escorted me over to the two different warmers for the babies as she took me to the first one who had a mask on their face, "This is your little boy," Madison said and I closed my eyes because he was so damn small. "Sutton, right?" she questioned and I nodded my head. "You can hold his hand," I walked over and I picked up his tiny hand. My fingernail felt bigger than his hand as I felt the tears drop down my face as he was lethargic, he looked to be struggling to breath.
"He's just having a hard time breathing," I looked up to see a member of the transport team looking at me. "We might intubate him as well just to be safe."
"Whatever you need to do," I said as they had already put a hat on his head, heart monitors on his chest, and they were monitoring his oxygen saturations. A few alarms were beeping and the team was discussing as I snapped a picture for Gabi and I looked at Madison, "Do you have a weight for him yet?" I asked and she smiled, "3 pounds, 12 oz," I palmed my face as he was so fucking small. He gripped my finger and I smiled, "I love you buddy, mommy loves you," I told him quietly.
"We're going to intubate him," a member of the team told Madison and she gently tugged on my arm. "Let's go meet your daughter," I just nodded as I took a glance at my son as she took me over to the other side where my daughter was already intubated as she had a pink little hat on her head as the sight of her with a tube down her throat and her body already covered in wires with a team working over her nearly broke me in half. "Saylor," I whispered to her and I reached for her hand as she grabbed on with her tiny hands. I thought her brother was small, she was smaller.
"She weighed 3 pounds, 5 oz, they are both tiny." My throat was choked up as I stroked her cheek gently, "I love you, Saylor. Daddy loves you. Mommy loves you." I whispered to her and her eyes flickered open for a moment and I smiled looking at her, "You got this baby girl, I know you do." I made sure I had pictures of both them as they were still both actively being worked on. "Madison," she turned to look at me. "She wants to see them before they leave. She was robbed of seeing them, she wants to see them."
Madison squeezed my shoulder, "We will wheel them by her before they take them. They are going by ambulance." I just nodded as I went back over to Gabi and I sat down next to her. "How are they?" she quickly asked me and I brushed her face with my thumb. "They are both intubated as they were having trouble breathing. They are both doing okay though. They are really fucking small, Gabs." She blinked her eyes, "How small?" she asked.
"Both are 3 pounds," she closed her eyes. "I failed them, I failed them," she cried and I couldn't stop my own tears. "You did not fail them. You did everything you could, baby. You did everything you could. Here," I showed her the pictures of Sutton and Saylor as she stared at them, "They are both so beautiful," she whispered and I nodded my head. "They really are. Both of them grabbed my finger and held it. I told them how much you love them both. Saylor looked at me and she is so beautiful, baby."
"Gabi we're almost done, everything is looking good." Dr. Willis spoke and Gabi tried to wipe her tears away but they kept coming. There was so much going on in the OR I just dipped my forehead to Gabi's as our tears blurred together. "You did everything right, Gabriella. You did not do anything wrong, okay? You did everything right."
"He's not wrong, Gabi, this happens frequently with twin pregnancies. You did what you were supposed to do. Those babies are in good, good hands. They are getting lines put in and then they are going to transport them over."
"I'm staying with you until recovery," I told her and she tried to fight me and I shook my head, "No, once you are in recovery, I will leave but I have to make sure you get out of here." I squeezed her hand as everything continued around us. Gabi just had silent tears at this point as I continued to watch the teams work over our children. "Okay, we're ready to take baby A," I heard and Madison went over to stop them as they had put Sutton into a box already. "Let's give mom a moment," Madison advocated and they nodded as they were cleaning up around Gabi and they were able to transfer back to her original bed and sit her up gently while they wheeled the transport thing closer to her.
My eyes watched her and my heart broke for her because I knew, just knew, how much this was devastating her.
Gabi's POV
I covered my mouth as I finally got a glance at my little boy. Wires stuck all over his chest, lines exiting his body, his heartbeat on the monitors, the tube down his throat. Yet, I could see his beautiful face as his eyes were open, "Here ya go momma," the transport guy opened the little hole and I couldn't stop the sob as I reached in to grab his hand. He was so little but his little hands grabbed my finger, "I love you, Sutton. Mommy will see you soon, okay? Momma will be with you so soon," I gently squeezed his finger and I stroked his skin.
"I love you, Sutton," I whispered again as I withdrew my hand and covered my mouth to stop my cries as they pushed him out of the OR. Troy just sat next to me and stroked my hair softly, "Are you in any pain? Are you feeling, okay?" he asked and I shook my head as I think my spinal was still working really well because the only pain, I was feeling was the pain of heartbreak of my kids being wheeled out of here and to another location.
Madison came over and sat next to us, "Saylor is a little bit more unstable. They are trying to get some fluids started and her stabilized to make the ride. We're ready to wheel you to recovery though." She was honest but her face was kind, "Can I see her before we leave? I just want to touch her before she leaves." She nodded her head, "I will see what I can do. Okay?" I just nodded as she walked away and I wiped my eyes as I tried to pull myself together.
"Hey," I looked over at Troy and he kissed my forehead, "You are such a strong woman. I am so proud of you. I know this is such a shitty situation but I need you to take care of you for twenty-four hours and then we will figure it out from there." I just nodded and I pulled him back into my body as he hugged me so tightly as I buried my face into his neck. He stroked my hair and whispered how much he loved me in my ear.
"Make sure you tell them over and over again how much I love them," I whispered. "I will baby, I promise. They will know how much they are loved." Our eyes locked and he squeezed my neck gently as I rested back when Madison came back over. "Okay, we're going to wheel by and they are going to give you a minute." I nodded as they started to move my bed and they stopped by the warmer they were working on with Saylor.
I couldn't control my gasp about how little she was laying there with a bag around her, "The bag is to help keep her warm. Traps in the heat. Her blood gases aren't doing that well and she is really compensating." Madison explained. "They are just trying to get her to a good point to leave." I couldn't stop my sobs as I reached for her tiny hand and I stroked it gently. "Hi baby girl, mommy loves you so much. So much." I covered my mouth as I held her hand and Troy let his hand rest on top of mine with her. "She's a fighter, baby. She's got it." I wiped my eyes and nodded as I withdrew my hand and Madison nodded towards the transport. "Please take care of her," I pleaded with the transport team and the nurse stopped and walked over to grab my hand. "My name is Amy. I am going to take such great care of her. I have two little girls at home but I now have three. She's going to be mine until you can get back to her."
The sob rolled out of my mouth and she squeezed my hand while Troy continued to hold mine. "Dad, we will see you there in a little bit." Troy nodded as we walked out of the OR as they took me to recovery. Madison got me situated and provided pain medication as the spinal was going to start to wear off, "I'm also going to give you a little valium just to calm all of your nerves and anxieties for a little bit until you can get more information. Okay?" I just nodded because I really just wanted them to knock me out for 24 hours at this point.
Troy kissed my forehead as he went to change and I looked at Madison as she was scanning medications. "Madison, will they be, okay? Are my babies going to be, okay?" I asked her and Madison turned to give me a soft smile, "They are going to do everything to keep them safe. They are young, small, and premature. They have a lot going against them but they are little fighters." I smiled softly, "They were complete accidents but they are the best things to ever happen to me. I can't lose them."
Troy came back dressed as he was from his open gym this morning and I looked at him, "You have to go meet Sutton," I told him and he nodded, "I know. I just need five more minutes with you first." It was finally calm around us and he sat on the edge of the bed. "I will keep you updated but I need you to rest, okay? I need you to really rest." His fingers locked with mine and he brushed his thumb over my cheek. "I love you, Brie."
"I love you, too. I promise, I will continue to do whatever I can do to get out of here early." Troy gave a faint smile and he again just wrapped me up in his arms. "Okay, I'm going to get your mom and trade places. I'm not going to let anybody else come see those babies until you get to really come see them, okay? There is going to be an army of people here for you though." I smiled as I loved him, "Thank you,"
"I would be pissed if a handful of people met my kids before me." I squeezed his fingers, "Keep me updated," I whispered.
"I will. You rest." I nodded and he kissed my forehead and he walked out with one more look before walking out. I inhaled sharply to try and keep all of my emotions at bay as I covered my mouth trying to process everything that happened over the last 9 hours. The sobs that bellowed from my throat and mouth were loud and earth shattering. Similar to the sobs that I released after Zoey died when I felt a pair of arms wrapped around me. "Shh…baby, I know, I know," my mom's voice was soothing as she held me tightly against her as I just sobbed freely. I held onto her as I kept repeating how I couldn't lose them. I just couldn't.
Oof. Tough break! A little sizzle and spice for ya'll. Let me know your thoughts!
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Next Update: September 12th
