Chapter 38 – Good Progress

Tuesday, January 14th, 2020

Gabi's POV

"I'm here," Troy came around the corner in his slacks with a James Island polo. His hair was done today and I could tell on his way here he was running his hands through it frequently. Saylor had such a fantastic night and they were all very much ready to extubate her. Troy came up behind me and he wrapped his arm around my neck while kissing my temple. Ellie came around and she grinned, "Are you all ready?" I nodded my head. "We are. I am." I spoke and I felt my eyes get misty.

"I haven't heard her cry yet and I want to hear her cry." Troy hugged me tightly. He only had forty minutes before he had to be well on his way back to work but this was a big moment. This was the moment. We knew there would be more setbacks but this felt like one of the biggest hurdles of them all. This was the hurdle we had to jump. Or at least that is what it felt like.

"You will get to hear her wail. I have a feeling she has been storing that cry." I laughed as Troy went to wash his hands. I wiped my tears off my face when the NNP and doctors all came over. The RT had her CPAP set up and I felt my heart wiggle and my stomach grow with nerves. I grabbed Ellie's arm and I felt the panic rise. "She is going to be okay right? She's not going to freak out or like die or…" I felt my words start to spiral down and Ellie gently grabbed my arms.

"She's going to be okay. That's why we have all of these people. If something were to go wrong – which it won't – then we have people here." I inhaled deeply when Troy came over and with just one touch, I felt a lot better. "She's going to be okay, Brie. We got her."

"They wouldn't even think about extubating her if she wasn't ready." I nodded as Troy kissed the top of my head. "She's going to be okay, we're right here with her." He reminded me and I nodded taking a deep breath. "I am so glad you are here." I turned to face him and he cupped my face. "I wouldn't miss it. God bless Jax," I laughed as we turned as they popped the top off her isolette. I held onto Troy's hand tightly as they prepared everything. The team all talked through it all and then they were starting.

Ellie was in the middle helping and I held my breath and watched her monitors. Nothing changed on the monitors but a cry echoed around us. I covered my mouth as her little cry rang out around us as everybody around laughed. "Alright trying to pull the flexitrunk off, this isn't going to be fun for anybody." The RT joked. Troy smiled as he kissed the top of my head as Ellie moved. "C'mon Mom," I went over with Troy trailing as she cried out again. "Oh, she is pissed off," Ellie joked and I laughed as I stared at my sweet girl with no tube down her throat. She wiggled and cried as they had attached a mask to her face to help with the pressure.

"Saylor, hi sweet baby," she gripped my finger as I inhaled deeply. "Aren't you beautiful," Troy cooed behind me and I leaned back into him. "She's doing so, so well," I stroked her head, "You are doing so well baby, mommy is so proud of you." Troy took a picture of her on his phone. He reached down to stroke her skin, "We are going to switch her to a crib today, too." Ellie mentioned and Troy laughed. "Such big days,"

Troy glanced at the clock and Ellie nodded, "Here, let us get her out so you can hold her before you go back to work." Troy nodded as he took my spot as he lifted her out of bed and snuggled her to his chest without worries about her tube coming out. "Oh, the freedom," Troy whispered while he held her. She relaxed in his embrace and he just rocked her while he stared at her. I took a picture on my phone and I smiled. "I gotta go, do you want to sit and hold her?" I nodded as Troy brought her to me. He kissed her head as she curled into my chest and Troy kissed the top of my head. "I love you; I'll see you this afternoon."

I tilted my head back and he smiled as he dropped a kiss to my lips, "Call me if you need anything," I nodded as I went solo today at the hospital. I cradled her into my body as she was opening and shutting her mouth while making little noises. I smiled at her as we had come a long way since their birth. For the first time – I felt a little bit of hope in my heart.


Troy's POV

Today was a good day. From my first class, to watching Saylor get extubated and listening to her cry, to the rest of my day to the moment I pulled back into the hospital parking lot. Today felt like one of the first days in a long time that felt good. I walked onto the unit and I turned the corner as I spotted Gabi. She was leaning over Sutton's crib as she was changing his diaper and talking to him. The smile on her face told me today was another good day.

She picked up Sutton and she curled him into her chest. He only was on the heart and pulse ox monitors – the wires were nearly gone besides his NG tube. I smiled watching them together as she rocked her gently in her arms while they stared at each other. God, she was already such an amazing mom. Her eyes lifted up and she spotted me standing there. A big smile lifted on her face and I smiled right back at her. "Sutton, Daddy is finally back." I laughed as I went over and I kissed her and looked down at Sutton who was already half asleep.

"Tell daddy that you breastfed for ten whole minutes today and was wide awake after." I grinned, "Good job, buddy!"

"He took 20mls of his bottles today like they wanted and they think he is on track for good, good things. Tomorrow they are going to try 30 and every day work our way up," I smiled as she looked at me, "Do you want him?" I shook my head, "No. He is too happy with his momma." She just snuggled him closer. "How did my girl do today?" I walked over to peer into her crib, I couldn't believe she was in a crib. The back was lifted and she was laying on her side. "Good. They had to go up on her oxygen requirements a little bit but they aren't concerned. Said she isn't getting as much pressure and a little increase isn't too big of a deal."

I stroked her little noggin but she twisted and turned away causing my own laugh. "You are quite the drama queen," her eyes opened and I held onto her. "I love you lil sis," I gently picked her up and she was still so tiny in the crook of my arm. I sat down in the chair with her as she curled up on my chest. I pulled her name blanket over top of her as I rocked with her in the chair. "How was the rest of your work day?" Gabi asked.

"It was a good day. Reminded me why I loved teaching today and then just everything with Saylor today was amazing." Gabi smiled as Sutton was wiggling in her arms. "I've been waiting for you to be here but…I can finally hold them together for the first time." Gabi admitted and I felt my eyes look at her. She was trying to control her emotions. She had carried the two of them every single day for almost eight months. Then to all of a sudden only to be able to hold one at a time? I couldn't imagine the heart break that was involved.

"Then let's hold them together. Where is Ellie?" I asked. Gabi smiled, "She only worked a half day today. Ashtyn took over for her." I glanced around before spotting Ashtyn. I waved her over and she smiled, "Gabi would like to hold the two of them together. How do we make that happy with all the wires for each of them?" Ashtyn smiled, "Of course, we can take Sutton off of his for the time being. Since he is no longer on oxygen and he has had a really good day." Gabi frowned and I could see her panic start to set in.

"Or we can do a transport monitor," Gabi just nodded her head, "Yes please," I felt my chest hurt with worry because I hated that she couldn't trust it without the monitor. I didn't object as they hooked Sutton onto the transport monitor and set it to the side as Ashtyn helped gather the cords and wires for me to move Saylor over to her. Gabi had Sutton in her left arm while I gently placed Saylor in her right as tears gathered in her eyes.

"Hi sweet babies, both of you," she whispered to each of them and I couldn't help but feel my entire heart melt. I snapped a handful of pictures of them all three together. Her smile was exactly like I pictured it when we had that talk just over a week ago. "Troy, will you help me set them both up on my chest?" I nodded as I helped position both of them with their wires to both be resting on her chest. I let their hands touch and both of them opened their eyes to stare at each other. "They haven't been together since December 30th." Gabi's voice was quiet as her eyes were glued to the both of them. Saylor was finally able to wear clothes and they each had on matching gray pajamas.

"Dad, get in a picture with them." I nodded as I turned towards Ellie as I squatted down while we all smiled because today was a good day.


Thursday, January 16th, 2020

Gabi's POV

Beth couldn't stop staring at Saylor as she rocked her back and forth. Beth joined me in the NICU today and she was so excited to meet her niece and nephew. "She is absolutely stunning." Beth said and I couldn't stop my smile. She was still on CPAP but her settings were starting to wean. She was now on full feeds via her NG tube and stopped TPN and lipids. She was gaining weight and was doing so well. It was a night and day difference.

Her medications were starting to wean off as well which made her a little cranky. Sutton was also getting to breast feed twice a day now as long as he was awake for it. The doctors had mostly chopped it up to him being a lazy, small, little man who was too tired to eat. If we ever saw signs of him getting too tired to eat – we had to stop. So far, so good. He was still breastfeeding like a champ and I knew we were making big strides home. He was taking 40ml by mouth and tomorrow they were going to bump him to 60ml.

If he could achieve that then we could start talking discharge. It made my heart sing knowing that he was getting close. Ellie told me not to get too excited only because she didn't want a setback to take away from all of the good things that were happening. They wanted to be able to discharge them safely from here and honestly – I wanted them to come home safely and if it took time then so be it. I already purchased owlets for each of them because they both have already sent me over the edge. The nurses said it doesn't take away from checking on them and the false alarms but that we would know the situation.

Sutton was laying on my chest as he just finished breastfeeding a little bit ago and then I pumped afterward to stimulate Saylor eating. I couldn't wait to try with her but I knew the longer it got put off the harder and harder it was going to be. I was going to be patient. "I love them so much, Beth." I whispered as I let my nose press into his head. He smelled like the hospital soap as he squeezed his fists. "I can understand why,"

"I need to send emails but I can't focus. I am going to get fired from my job." This caused Beth to laugh, "They will not fire you. As long as you do it at some point today," I sighed as I had a handful of emails to respond to and I was going to the office tomorrow. Annie had four meetings for me in the morning and I was dreading each of them. I just wanted to stay with my babies. I had too though. I wanted 12 weeks off when they went home.

I knew I already wanted more.

I had big plans though for my dance studio and we needed money for that. I couldn't be a stay-at-home mom with Troy's salary. I stroked Sutton's head as he cried out and stretched his arms out overhead. He snuggled back in and I picked up my laptop as I opened it and responded to all of my emails and even worked on a few projects before sending updates to my boss. Beth was more than happy to snuggle Saylor.

"How are you doing?" Beth asked me after I put my laptop away. I shrugged as I continued to look at Sutton, "I'm okay. I think now that they are both on the upward side – I feel better. They are 36 weeks now and Sutton is making good progress. Our night nurse mentioned that he could come home as early as Monday if nothing goes wrong. She followed that up that anything could derail that – failing his car seat screening, one bad feeding, etc."

"No, I'm not talking about the kids Gabi…I'm talking about you. You had a c-section 18 days ago. You have two babies in the NICU. How are you doing? On top of all of our normal emotions…" I blinked as nobody had really asked me how I was doing. Troy had been checking up on how I was feeling. He was the only one though. Everybody else wanted to know how the babies were doing. "I am…scared. I am sad that this is how it all happened. I am overjoyed that they are alive. I hate coming here alone and mostly being without Troy all day but what we are doing is best…" I exhaled as I gave her a shaky smile.

"I feel like all of those feelings are very valid. You know you never have to come here alone. There is a mountain of people who would escort you up here." She told me and I gave a sad smile, "I just don't want anybody to feel obligated to be here with me. I can do it by myself,"

"You don't have to though, Gabi. I moved home for the time being so that you have somebody with you and helping you. We want to help you. This is hard for you and I want you to feel supported." I looked at Sutton and then over towards Saylor. "Sometimes I feel like my emotions are all over the place and I want to just feel one. I want to be happy. I feel like I should be happy because they are alive."

"You can be sad because they are here in the NICU. You can be sad because nothing went as planned. You can be sad because Troy is at work. You are allowed to be sad. You can be sad because Zoey isn't here, too." I gave her a half watery smile as I looked at Sutton. "I look at Sutton and I see Zoey sometimes. I know she is watching over them and I am forever thankful for that aspect of this but you are right. I would much rather her be here though. I would ask her if all of these feelings were normal."

"I would guess they are."

I didn't say anything for a few minutes as I got up and I put Sutton back into bed. "I feel anxious about a lot of things and one of them is that I can't stand when they are off their monitors. I like knowing that they are okay and when I take them home? I won't have this anymore." I felt the stress roll over my shoulders and I sat on the edge of the chair. "I also feel anxious about my relationship about Troy. This has been a lot and we have barely done anything but hug each other. A few kisses here and there and we only talk about the kids and I am just starting to panic that all of this is going to change us too dramatically."

I wiped away a handful of my tears and inhaled deeply when I felt Beth's hand on my shoulder. I didn't see her put back Saylor but she wrapped me up in her arms as I hugged her back. "Oh Gabs, I think your fears about the babies not being on monitors is a normal fear for everything that you have been through with them. You have to trust yourself and if they tell you they are healthy enough to go home – they think they are healthy enough to go home. They don't need monitors anymore."

I nodded because I understood this. "Now, the Troy thing. I think you one need to just talk to him about it. Your world rapidly changed in 18 days. Just…say something. You also can't have sex but you do need to make time for yourself. You both knew that it was going to change your relationship. I think your just scared that this is a new journey that you didn't expect. You thought you had more time. You thought they would be healthy. You thought that you would get two weeks at home to adjust together. You thought family would be over all the time. His friends. Luna would have meet them already. Nothing lived up to expectations and that can be frustrating and alter all the things in your brain. You are doing the absolute best you can."

I just nodded and hugged her back, "How about you pick a day for Troy and you to go do something besides come here. This has been a lot and the next thing you know you will be taking the both of them home and never have an alone moment again. You were robbed of one more date without kids. Maybe take that before Sutton goes home."

"I feel so guilty if I don't come here though. I feel guilty that I am viewed as a mother who is using these nurses and doctors as a baby sitter. I feel guilty every time I walk out of those doors and go home to sleep in a bed and only having to wake up to pump." I shook my head and I lifted my head to look at her square in the eyes, "I feel guilty."

Her heart broke and she just hugged me. I felt a load come off my shoulders saying those words out loud though.


Troy's POV

I was nearly to the hospital when a text came through my phone.

Beth: Let's talk in the garage before you come in.

My stomach bottomed out on those words and I knew that she was going to talk to Gabi today. She called me and asked how she was doing – her mental and physical wellbeing. I told her she was constantly telling me that she was fine and doing the best she could. Which was not a lie but I knew there was more underneath the surface. She texted me several updates today that Sutton was doing so, so well. Saylor weaned a little bit more and they were thinking about nasal cannula later this week.

I found a parking spot and I texted Beth that I was on the second floor and to just meet in the lobby. I pulled off my polo and replaced it with a crew neck as I wore jeans to work today for a spirit thing. I made my way towards the lobby of the hospital where I spotted Beth. She gave me a smile and I walked over as I hugged her, "Did you enjoy meeting them?" I asked her and she nodded her head. "I did. They are both stunningly beautiful. Can't wait to see more of them," I shot her a look and she just laughed.

"I'll wait a few more years." I couldn't stop with the smile and shook my head. "She's anxious, Troy." She finally just said. "Anxious about taking them home without monitors. Anxious that she won't be a good enough mother. Anxious because…" Beth paused as her eyes caught mine as I felt my heart race inside my chest. Beth gave a tiny smile. "She's anxious that your relationship will never be the same anymore because this was just…a lot. She loves you. She wants to marry you. She wants to have more babies with you way in the future but she feels like everything is altered. I recommended that you two should go on a date before you bring Sutton home." I nearly balked but she held up her hand. "You two never got that 'last' date before they were born. You deserve that. Also, she feels really guilty." I frowned.

"We've talked about it. She knows that it's not her fault." Beth shook her head again. "It's not about that. She never mentioned that. She feels guilty when she doesn't show up here. She feels guilty leaving. She feels like she should be here at all hours of the day making sure she is the one taking care of her babies. She's a mom, Troy." She said softly. "This isn't normal. She is supposed to be with them 24/7 and I couldn't imagine the guilt of leaving them with somebody else."

No words came to me as I just looked at her with my heart a little broken on the inside. "I'm only telling you this because I think it is useful information. I think you both will be fine. I just think this is all a lot right now and she just wants to do it all right. Sutton had a really fucking good day and he is going to be going home soon." I swallowed and nodded, "But Saylor is far behind." She nodded. "It'll be a handful of weeks before Saylor goes home from the sounds of it."

I just ran my fingers through my hair and Beth squeezed my arm. "She needs you up there. Show her the love that you have for her. Don't just be dad." I agreed as I hugged her, "Thank you, Beth. I am glad that you were here with her." She agreed and we went opposite paths as I navigated towards the NICU. I didn't know how to take the whole guilt thing. It wasn't something that I necessarily thought of. I felt like I was taking advantage of going home to actually get some sleep but I guess in Gabi's mind – every time she woke up to pump, she knew that she should be feeding her babies. Her babies that were across town in a hospital bed.

I waved hi to the secretary as she buzzed me back into the NICU while I moved back to the D pod. I rounded the corner as Gabi was holding Saylor while typing on her laptop. Saylor was sleeping and I peered over at Sutton who was also sleeping in his crib. I walked over and Gabi lifted her eyes to greet me with a smile. "Hi," I greeted as I bent down to kiss her lips first. She smiled, "Hi, how was work?" she asked. I shrugged, "It was another day." I responded as I let my hand cradle her face. She twisted to press her skin deeper into mine.

"I missed you, today." She whispered and I just kissed her one more time. "I would have rather been here. How is my other girl?" I kissed the back of her head as I haven't washed my hands yet. I did it before I left work but I wanted to do it once more. "She's good. She was crying for the thirty minutes before you showed up and I finally just rocked her to sleep. I think I'm stuck here." I smiled as I looked over at Sutton.

"He also had a really good day. His breastfeeding went so well today that she said we could try all four feedings tomorrow. As long as he nursed for more than 10 minutes we don't have to supplement since he is still gaining good weight."

"That's amazing, Gabi." I breathed as I looked at all of them again before I went over to wash my hands. I greeted our nurse and then went to sit next to Gabi. "So, I don't want you to be upset with Beth. She just told me that you were feeling guilty about leaving them." I mentioned and her lips turned into a frown. "I want you to know that I never would have realized that." I told her honestly. "But when she said it, I thought about every single time you get up to pump in the middle of the night and know that you should be getting up with one of our babies to nurse them but instead they are here and as a mom…I can see it. I can see the guilt now."

She turned her head away and I let her have her moment. "I know they are safe here and I know I can't be here all the time but it doesn't take it away. It doesn't stop the guilt every time I leave them here. I should be with them. I should be bonding with them and cuddling them all the time. I hate it. I know this is the best but I just…" she shook her head as I watched her blink away the tears. "They will be home with us so soon. You are doing the best things for them, Gabi."

"I love you," I reminded her. "I love everything about you and I am proud of you for handling all of this. For working from here. For doing everything that you possibly can. You are doing it all, Gabs." She smiled as I leaned forward to kiss her again. "I don't want to feel guilty, but I do."

"I think that might just come with parent territory. You want to be the best for them and sometimes that means leaving them here." She just nodded as I held her hand. "Are you feeling okay today? Physically?" I asked her and she nodded her head. "Yes. That I am glad I do feel good about. I think it helps that I mostly just sit here with them all day."

"There are a handful of saving graces that come with this whole thing. You are getting to rest and recover. You are taking it easy. By the time Sutton comes home – you should be able to do a lot more things. There are good things from this."

"They are talking about letting Sutton come home next week." She whispered with a tiny smile on her lips and I only smiled back, "It will be amazing. Our Saylor girl isn't far behind. She just has to figure out the whole eating thing soon."

We both shared a laugh and I held onto her. "We got this, Brie. We got this."


Sunday, January 19th, 2020

Gabi's POV

Troy and I were watching videos today in preparation for Sutton's discharge tomorrow. The team had decided Friday that if he had a good weekend that he could go home. He was doing flawlessly. He was up to five pounds and ate all of his meals via my breast during the day and great by bottles at night. They took his NG tube out Saturday making him prove it and he did just that. He was curled up on my chest and I had mixed emotions that I was taking one home but not the other one. Saylor was getting better on her slow, feisty pace. They weaned her down to a high flow nasal cannula on Friday and wanted to give her the weekend to see if she was going to last on it.

If she was doing well on it on Monday – we could start the feeding process. She was weaned of all of her medications and was slowly gaining weight behind her brother. She was still only four and a half pounds but she was getting bigger. Sutton passed his car seat screening last night and all we needed was to finish watching these videos, go over his medications, and we were taking CPR classes tomorrow afternoon.

Troy was going to work tomorrow and come in the afternoon. We were still debating when he should take his next two weeks leave – maybe three. He was for sure going back to coaching in February though. I almost was thinking to have him wait until Saylor came home because my plan was to still come here for at least half of our day. We would get up in the morning, do a morning routine, and then come here because I didn't want to be without Saylor. They talked about moving her so that we could have more space since we were losing the double spot.

That way they could bring a swing in and I could hold Saylor while Sutton was in the swing. The video finished playing and Troy smiled as we had a plan to go get dinner as just the two of us tonight. The date that Beth said we never got. "Do you want me to take this week off?" Troy questioned and I shook my head. "No. I think I want you to wait until they are both home. We will still be coming here every single day and there is no reason for you to have to come here as well. I think it will be best when they are both at home."

Troy hesitated but nodded his head, "I would come up here though."

"That came out wrong. I will still have help here. I will be outnumbered when we go home. I know that you would come up here daily. You will be there for our first night home and every single night after that." Troy nodded in understanding. "It will be good if we wait. I am going to continue and work from here. Go into the office Monday morning and then one afternoon after you are home." I told him. "Good. This all sounds like a good plan."

Once we were done with our discharge projects Troy picked up Saylor and cuddled her as we had already given them both a bath and did a lot of other education. We were getting so much closer to being home with our babies. I had gone into work on Friday and it went well. I had two meetings and I presented a project – all while sitting in my office chair over a Zoom meeting. I talked with my boss extensively about my leave of absence and she agreed that what I was doing was working.

If anything, I hoped by February 1st that Saylor would be home. I prayed and prayed that she wasn't going to have eating issues. At least take a bottle so we could just go home. I loved our nurses and our doctors but I wanted to go home. Sutton was able to feed on demand now and when he woke up and rooted around, I helped me latch on and he breast fed away. We spent Thursday and Friday working with the lactation consultant because he was struggling to correctly latch.

After a few helpful pointers – he was doing a lot better. Tomorrow, he would get his circumcision in the morning while none of us were present and tomorrow once we are ready to leave, they would discharge him. It seemed surreal and I felt the nerves kick in that something bad might happen and it might not happen tomorrow. He was wide awake nursing and I just watched him in awh. They wanted us to still give him two or three bottles a day with supplemental formula until he was bigger. Once our pediatrician was happy, we could cut off the formula if we wanted, too.

Troy was talking to Saylor as he stood and rocked with her back and forth. "Our friends are going to eat them alive." Troy said and I couldn't stop my laugh and agreement. "They really are. They are so freaking cute." Sutton pulled off after fifteen minutes of eating and I rested him on my shoulder to burp him. He cried out and curled up into my body. "Hi buddy, you are so close to coming home and meeting your second family." I murmured to him.

"I was able to hold off my friends until Tuesday after practice but I think Macken and Brady want to meet them tomorrow. If that's okay," Troy said and I nodded my head, "Yea, they deserve to meet him. I feel bad that I cancelled on them." Troy shook his head, "Do not feel bad. It was a bad day. I know Beth only got to meet them because you needed somebody to sit here all day with you." I gave him a half smile and a nod.

"I am hoping that we will mostly be leaving once you get here. Give you time to cuddle with Saylor and be with her before we head out. I want to be at home for most of the evening. I know you also need time with Saylor." Troy nodded, "Maybe we can start a new routine. Either you can leave here early and I come spend an hour or two with her in the evenings before coming home. Or we just stay for an hour or two and be out of here by five."

"I don't know, honestly, until we are in the thick of it. I can't say what I will want to do. Tuesday, I will know more." Troy smiled while staring down at Saylor. "Baby girl, once you are given the go on eating, we need you to just do the damn thing so we can take you home. You have a big furry sister waiting to meet you and she will love you," I couldn't help but smile watching Troy as he stared at Saylor with pure happiness in his eyes. It wouldn't be real until they were both home in our house. Both of them safe and happy.

Troy and I switched kids after a while as I held Saylor as she curled up on my chest and I just rocked her back and forth. We had ordered more preemie clothes for the both of them as they were drowning in anything newborn. I kinda loved how small they were because they both fit on my chest together and barely made a dent. I knew one day they would be huge toddlers and I wasn't looking forward to the day.

I let my fingers trail over Saylor's lips and I kissed on her tiny head as she pushed on my face. I smiled watching her as she was doing so well. I thought back to the moment that they were both born and how scared I was. We had come such a long way since that moment and that alone gave me happiness that I needed. It was a turbulent road that was traveled but it was going to be worth it. "Do you want to give them both a bath before we leave?" Troy questioned and I nodded my head as we asked for supplies to give a bath and we each took a twin and gave a bath. I took my time with Saylor as she cried throughout but I just talked to her and cooed at her.

Sutton was much more relaxed during bath time. I dried her off and I put on a new pair of PJs while I snuggled her back up to my body. She relaxed and started to fall asleep while I just rocked her back and forth. Troy was laughing and I loved the sound of it. I loved hearing him laugh and how amazing he was at being a dad already. I gave Saylor a kiss as her nurse switched her bedding out and then I got her all cozied back up.

"You should get a good night sleep tonight. You will love having him home tomorrow." I agreed with a smile. I went over to kiss on Sutton. "Be good tonight, buddy. Then we can go home tomorrow. Yea?" he cooed as I kissed him again as I put him back into bed as Troy gathered our stuff and kissed Saylor good-bye. We linked hands as we walked out of the hospital. "Do you want to go home and shower and change? Or just go as is?"

"Is it fancy?" I questioned as I was just wearing jeans with a button up shirt. "Not that fancy." Troy said as he was also in jeans and a t-shirt. "We can go as is." I told him. He agreed while we drove to the restaurant. It was one of our favorites and I smiled over at him. We got out of the car and Troy stopped as he tugged on my hand and he framed my face. Those blue eyes were surveying my face as he dipped down and captured my lips with his.

"I love you, Gabi." I let my head lean into his hand. "I love you, too. I am happy we are doing this." Troy kissed my forehead and he just wrapped his arms around me. His chin resting on my head while he exhaled heavily. Our bodies aligning together and we both just stayed like this for a handful of moments. We finally both walked inside together and we were seated quickly while we browsed the menu. "How has work been?" I asked him.

"Good. I hate that I will be missing another two weeks after getting back into the groove but I will have better sub plans. Plus, I will be back in basketball at that point. I kinda miss it but I also know being here with you three is what I need to do." I reached across for his hand and he let our fingers clasp together. "You just kinda miss basketball?" I asked with a smile and he laughed as he looked out the window. "I miss it a lot but I know they are in really good hands."

"I know that you have been really busy with all of this but any updates on wedding planning?" he questioned and I shook my head. "No. We both need to sit down during your two weeks off and nail down all the rest of the things that need to be done. Maybe invite all of the people we want in our wedding party over and ask each of them with a night in. That way we can properly start to plan. Find dresses. Etc. We have ten months."

"It's plenty of time." Troy reassured. "I will hire Beth and my mom to start really helping and I can only assume Jenna and I will be working hard." Troy smiled as I did have 12 weeks off work coming up and that was going to be helpful. I want to keep it all simple but I am excited. "We already have the cutest ring bear and flower girl," I smiled over towards him. "That we do. I am excited for our wedding but I think we have a lot of fun things between here and there."

"That we do. Like our babies coming home."

We ordered our food and we both had a drink while our eyes connected. "So, you plan on returning to basketball on…?" I questioned over towards him. "February 3rd. We have a practice and a game the next day. We then have ten days before our next West Ashley game."

"Hopefully both of our babies can go to that game." Troy smiled, "I hope so, too. What do you want to do tomorrow with Sutton to mark our first day home?" I played with my hand and I inhaled deeply, "I don't know. I am just so…sad that they both aren't coming home." Troy nodded, "I know but they will both be coming home eventually. We can take this one day at a time together. Saylor isn't far behind."

I rolled my lips together, "Honestly? I want to lay in bed and just hold him without any monitors or beeping."

"Wish granted," he told me with those serious blue eyes and I just squeezed his hand. "I don't think I've said it enough but I do want to thank you for the past several weeks. From the moment I went into pre-term labor, to being here with them for the first 24 hours, and to every single day after that – you have been the only thing holding me together. Your support. Your hands. Your smile. You have been the most grounding person for me and I cannot thank you enough for that." I told him and those blue eyes holding me. "You have been an amazing man and I am so happy that you are going to be my husband and that you are their father."

Troy squeezed my hands and he planted his lips onto my hand. "You have been the strongest woman alive these past three weeks, Gabi. I have been nothing but in awh of how you have handled everything and you are already such an amazing mother. I knew from the moment I met you that you were going to be one and I know you'll be just as amazing of a wife. I love you, Brie. You are amazing and I want you to know that I only see the strongest woman in you."

I smiled at him as I wiped away at a few tears. "We are going to live an amazing life, Troy Bolton. Let's do all of this shit together." He kissed the top of my head and we just sat in the booth together. I loved him and I knew everything was going to be all right.


Troy's POV

Monday, January 20th, 2020

"How fucking excited are you?" Cameron strolled into my room and I couldn't stop my grin on my face. "I am pretty damn excited. A little sad because we have to leave Saylor behind but we are both excited. Gabi said that he is pretty much ready to go besides just showing up and taking the CPR class." Cameron clapped my back. "She will be home soon enough. You and Gabi are going to be freaking amazing parents."

"Thanks man, I know she is happy to bring one of them home. It just doesn't change much because she will still go there every single day." Cameron smiled while he leaned against the desk. "Yea but you have a baby at home, too. I know Lenny is excited to meet Sutton and Saylor when the day comes."

"I feel bad for Sage and Jesse, I feel like they aren't even able to celebrate the end of their pregnancy." Cameron shook his head. "They are both fine. They know how stressful this all is for the both of you. Her baby shower is in February though. You should get Gabi to go with at least Sutton." I just nodded knowing that it was important for Gabi to maintain a normal life. Saylor wasn't going to be in the hospital that much longer.

"Do you and Gabi want dinner delivered tonight?" he asked and I shook my head, "It's really okay. You guys have done way more than enough for us over the past three weeks." I told him and he shook his head again, "We are just here to help. Bringing and providing dinner is the best thing for us to do right now." I tried to fight it but he shook his head. "I think Sara is already making spaghetti to bring over so nod your head and smile." I just laughed with a shake of my head as Cameron hit my shoulder again.

"I have to go run your basketball practice; you go snuggle those cute babies." I smiled with a thanks as he walked out the door to head to practice. I packed up my backpack and pulled out my car keys as I headed for my car. I dropped Gabi off this morning so we only had one car. I made sure I had the base in the back for his car seat and that my car was clean. The drive to the hospital was exciting as today Gabi was just happy that Saylor got to do non-nutritive breastfeeding. She said it was hard and they both struggled – a lot – but they had a plan to tackle it for this next week. My phone rang as Macken was on the other end.

"Hey," I said answering it, "Can I come meet him tonight? Please?" she nearly begged through the phone and I laughed, "Mac, I have to ask Gabi. She may just want to go home and snuggle him in bed. We haven't had a night at home with our baby yet. Tomorrow." I pleaded and she sighed heavily. "Troy," she whined and I laughed, "I promise. Soon. Tomorrow. We still have to do a CPR class, I still need to snuggle the fuck out of Saylor, and then to go home and just…figure out how to take care of a baby at home."

She huffed a sigh, "Fine, fine, I just can't wait to meet my nephew and one day my niece." I pulled into the hospital parking garage. "I know. They will both be home soon enough and you will have all the time in the world with them."

"Promise?"

"I promise that you can babysit them so I can take my fiancée out on a date."

"Fair, I'll see you tomorrow." She hung up the phone and I smiled as I parked my car and grabbed my bag before heading into the hospital. It was a paved journey and when I rounded the corner, I couldn't take my eyes off her and Saylor. She was snuggling her in the chair as she was whispering to her. Sutton's side of the room was practically packed up but he was napping in the crib. My shoes hit the floor and it caused Gabi to turn and face me. "Hi," she greeted. I walked over and I dropped my lips down to her lips. "Hi," I whispered back and she smiled.

"Here, I have been snuggling her all day and apologizing over and over again that we will all be back tomorrow." I saw the anxiety starting to sneak in. I walked over to wash my hands before I came back over. "I doubt she will miss any of us. If she is anything like Brady and Macken she is pushing her brother out the door." Gabi gave a laugh as I took Saylor from her arms and I rocked her back and forth. "Hi baby girl, did you have a good day?" she stretched her little arms out and I smiled watching her.

Gabi stood up and stretched, "I am going to pump. They are sending me home with half of our frozen milk. They told me to split it in half. Keep half here and half at home." I nodded in understanding as she went to pump. "So basically, I told them that whatever I pumped here I would keep here and whatever I did at home I would keep at home." She shrugged as she was hashing out all of the details. "How did Saylor do with her second non-nutritive feeding?"

"Good! It was a lot better than her first one. I think she had a little bit more of an understanding of what was going on. It still took several tries and attempts but she didn't grow upset like the first time." We both shared a smile together as she hooked up her breast pump and we caught up on the day. She told me that Sutton was good to go and that the final discharge papers were waiting for us to take the CPR class with our nurse.

Then we were free to go. I let Saylor rest on my chest and she curled in as she was happy as can be. "Did she get her bath?" I questioned and Gabi shook her head, "They are only doing every other day with her now. You can pick out her PJs though," I agreed as I stood up with her and made sure none of her wires were caught before I went over to dig through her basket to find a pair of purple PJs with flowers on the front. I changed her diaper and put her in the fresh PJs.

"Oh, you are so sweet," I murmured while kissing on her little head. I rocked her back and forth when Ellie came around. "Oh Troy! Do you guys want to take the CPR class really quick? Then you can spend a little bit more time with Saylor before heading out with little Sutton man?" we both agreed as I laid Saylor back down as Ellie took us through infant CPR and what to do if they are choking. We each practiced and we talked about the signs to look for. Gabi discussed the owlet with her and she told us to always assess and not always freak out over the alerts.

We each signed papers and Ellie cheered, "Yay! I know I will see you all again tomorrow but you jumped one hurdle and only one more to go!" Gabi thanked her as I went back over to spend a little bit more time with Saylor. "I know we are all leaving but mama is right. We will all see you tomorrow sweet girl," I murmured, "You keep getting bigger and bigger and then you will be coming with us." I said in a quiet voice as I kissed her little head again. I know we wanted to get out of here kinda quick tonight so that we had time at home before bedtime for all.

"Sara is bringing over spaghetti," I told Gabi. She looked up surprised, "I told them no. We didn't need anything else." I shrugged, "I told Cameron the same exact thing and they all disagreed and are still going to do it." Gabi sighed and just nodded, "I don't want visitors tonight. I just want to cuddle with my baby in bed and nurse him and do all the things a new mom should." I nodded in understanding, "I know. I just think she is dropping it off. I already had to push off Macken."

Gabi just stared at Sutton, "I just want to be a new mom," she whispered while stroking his head. I laid down Saylor as she was mostly asleep before I went over to wrap my arms around Gabi. "You are going to be a mom tonight. Are you about ready to bust out of this joint with one of them? I will stay longer with Saylor tomorrow but I know how much you want to go home tonight." She nodded and she turned around to hug me. I gave her another kiss. "Let me say bye to her," I nodded as I grabbed the final things under his crib.

I stashed them in the bag and Ellie came over with our final discharge paperwork. "Everything has been done, Gabi got all the education today. If you have any questions – call this number." She advised and I nodded noting the highlighted number. "You will also be back tomorrow so no worries there," I smiled with a nod as she helped us get Sutton into the car seat and properly fitted. Gabi came over and she grabbed his blanket with his name printed on it and tucked it in around him. "Bye sweet boy," Ellie said with a smile. "Tell Ms. Ellie we will be back tomorrow to see our favorite sister,"

"Troy, where are you parked?"

"In the garage. Is that okay?" she nodded, "We'll have a care assistant walk you out." I went over to check on Saylor one more time as it felt so odd to keep one of them here and take the other one home. I exhaled heavily and stroked her tiny little head. "Be strong, little mama. I'll see you tomorrow. Daddy loves you," I whispered to her. Gabi looked over at me as a care assistant arrived. "Ready?" I nodded as I went over and I picked up Sutton's car seat. "Let's go home little man," Gabi looked over her shoulder at Saylor one more time. "She'll be okay," I reassured.

Gabi sighed, "I know. I just hate this. I want them both home." I smiled with a nod, "I know. I want them both home, too." We walked out as we said bye to a few other nurses with promises to see them all tomorrow. We made it to the garage elevators where the care assistant waved to us, "See you guys tomorrow!" we all laughed and I shared a look towards Gabi. "Later, we won't be saying that. We will walk out with two car seats in hand."

I took Gabi to the car as she opened the passenger side door to climb into the middle while I hooked Sutton behind the driver's seat. He was already asleep as Gabi buckled in and looked over at him. We connected with our eyes and we both shared a smile. "We're going to be mom and dad for a full 24 hours. You ready?" Gabi laughed as tears brimmed her eyes, "I am. I can't wait to just be with him all night with no assessments and no waking him up at a certain time to eat."

"Every four hours," I reminded her. She rolled her eyes, "Okay, fine, but it can be whenever we want it to be." I shut the car door and I climbed in the front. "I am excited," she whispered in the back and I smiled, "Same."


Gabi's POV

I couldn't stop staring at him the entire drive home. His little face all squished together. He was wearing just a normal gray jumper because we weren't wearing their homecoming outfits until they were both coming home. Troy was careful on the drive home and I took a picture to send to our update group chat of everybody that we used for daily updates.

Sutton has officially broken out of jail! Saylor had a really good day as well. We are making big leaps and strides with these two trouble makers! We ask for no visitors tonight while we figure out home life with this sweet boy. We love you all.

I hit send while Troy pulled into the drive way. It was quiet and I hated that Luna wasn't here but she would be reunited soon enough. Brady would send us daily updates on our dog. "We're home little man," I whispered. "That we are." Troy pulled his Jeep into the garage as he got out first. He opened the driver side passenger door while smiling at me. "Living room, bed room?" he questioned. "Bedroom. I think he's probably ready to eat and then I just want to snuggle him in bed."

"Yes ma'am," he picked up the car seat and I got out the other side while we met at the front door. We both walked up the stairs together as I pulled off my leggings and pulled on a pair of shorts while I crawled into bed as I grabbed one of Troy's t-shirts. I switched it out and Troy was holding Sutton with a smile on his face. "Jax sent me a text saying he was on his way over with dinner. I am going to greet him at the door and then I will be back upstairs. Okay?" I nodded as he handed Sutton over to me as he was still half asleep. I let him rest on my chest as he yawned while fisting my shirt.

Troy smiled as he dropped a kiss to my forehead, "A baby looks good on you." I laughed as he kissed me again and went downstairs. I just stared at Sutton as we laid in bed together. His bassinet was already next to my bed. Our current agreement was he would get two extra packed calorie formula bottles a day. One during the day and one at night. The rest he could ad-lib breast feed. They already said Saylor was probably going to be probably closer to three or four until she was a better weight.

He woke up not too much later as he wiggled around on my chest. His brown eyes looked up at me and he scrunched his little mouth together and wiggled around. I rested him between my legs as I stared at him. My fingers holding your tiny hand. "Hi," I murmured to him and he cried out as he tried to stretch and wiggle away. I changed his diaper and got him naked as we had been doing more skin-to-skin to help make up for the time that we had missed out on. The lactation consultants at the hospital were impressed how well he breastfed for not getting to use those skills after birth.

He latched on with want as I smiled watching him.

Troy came back into the room and he smiled, "Jax and Sara send their well wishes with their spaghetti. Do you want to eat in bed or in the kitchen?" I smiled, "In the kitchen. We can take him down and lay him in the swing downstairs." Troy agreed as he changed into a pair of basketball shorts with a t-shirt before collapsing back in bed with a sigh. "Tired?" I asked. He nodded his head as he rubbed his forehead. "Yea, I am. A good tired though. I just feel like we are running in a hundred directions."

"We are." I told him. "We are running in one hundred directions. How about Saturday we sleep in – well, I mean, as much as he will allow us to sleep in. Stay in bed longer, get some rest, and then spend the afternoon with our Say girl," Troy smiled, "That does sound really nice. Especially after our first week at home with our favorite little man." Troy wiggled his way back up and stared at Sutton while he ate but he was getting sleepy again.

"He's so freaking handsome," I whispered and Troy smiled. "We made some cute babies," Sutton finished eating and I gave him to Troy as he burped him. "How about after dinner you take a nice shower and then crawl into bed, pump, and then sleep for a bit. I'll take his first feeding so you can get some solid rest and I'll flip on the other half." I smiled with a nod, "That sounds nice actually. Let's do it."

Once Sutton had burped and fallen back asleep, we took him downstairs to the swing in our line of sight. Troy plated both of our food as I settled in to eat as did Troy. His fingers falling over my knee and I leaned into him. "We're doing it, we're being parents," Troy laughed. "That we are."


Troy's POV

I just stared at him.

It had been the theme of the day but he was at home with us. Gabi had pumped and fallen asleep a little over two hours ago. I was preparing his bottle as he was fussing in the crook of my arms but he wasn't loud yet. "I know buddy, it's coming." It was almost eleven at night and I just couldn't help but stare at him. I was thankful he was here with us. After dinner, we did just as we had planned. Gabi pumped, took a shower, and then fell asleep after we had changed him into PJ's.

I stayed up with him downstairs while she fell asleep. I watched him film for the basketball team and I was starting to teach Sutton all about it. I finished warming up his bottle and made it just like they told us too before taking him to the couch and feeding him the bottle. He happily started to suck it down while I continued to watch film. I made a list of notes on my phone but I paid pretty close attention to Sutton because I didn't want him to choke again.

I couldn't imagine waking up Gabi and telling her that.

After five minutes I took the bottle and burped him.

It was mundane tasks of feeding him, changing his diaper, and swaddling him back up for sleep but it made my heart so happy. We were doing it at home with no other help. Sutton finished off his bottle and I did change his diaper before swaddling him up tight. He was already half way back asleep as I yawned. I made sure his owlet was on and reading before I went upstairs shutting everything down.

Sutton was relaxed but awake as I gently rocked him back and forth outside of our bedroom. "Sutton, I am so happy you are home with us." I whispered quietly as I rocked him. "We are going to have so much fun together." His eyes started to shut and I continued to rock him until they were fully closed. I walked into our bedroom and I laid him down in the bassinet next to Gabi as she was still fast asleep. I gently woke her up as she requested so she could pump.

"Hey, do you want to pump?" she nodded sleepily and I helped her get it all set up. "Go to sleep, Troy. You have to work in the morning." I kissed the top of her head and told her I loved her before crawling into the other side of the bed. I could get used to this.


Happy Sunday! I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Let me know your thoughts!

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Next update: November 21st