Footnote: Just so everyone knows other than the title of this story the characters in this tale are NOT Tom Selleck and Steve Guttenberg's characters from another movie. They are Will Truman and Vince D' Angelo from Will And Grace played very well by Eric McCormack and Bobby Cannavale. I salute you guys. :)
And where's does Grace come in? You'll see at the very end.
Now onto the story.
TALES OF THE HAUNTED
MANSION: TWO MEN A BABY AND 999 GHOSTS PART NINE
By Swarlock
Will, Vince and their baby son Ben George Truman D'Angelo were in a doombuggy traveling through the graveyard and all manner of chaos was going on. On one side were minstrels who paid no attention to their presence. One ghost played a bagpipe, another harp and the third one a horn. They also saw a hunchback playing a flute backed by a cadaverous drummer pounding his drumsticks off the temple of a headstone. They also saw owls and cats singing in spooky harmony.
They saw a skeletal dog howling near a tree with a noose close to quicksand, there was a king and queen teeter tottering on a gravestone with a ghostly princess sitting on a swing. A hearse was stuck in the mud with ghosts sipping cups of tea and a mummy and a ghost dog sniffing around the sarcophagus which annoyed the mummy to no end.
Baby Ben was getting a kick out of all this. Things could not be said however for his two dads however who were scared stiff seeing all this going on. Then the doombuggy stopped.
"What happened? We've halted!" Will said.
"Playful spooks have interrupted our tour," Steven said.
"For prankish spirits they sure play rough," Vince told The Warlock.
"Come on, Old Chap! You must join us in a spot of tea," a ghost shorter than Wathel grabbed Will's hand pulling him out of the doombuggy.
"AAAH! VINCE! HELP!" Will yelled being dragged away.
Vince sat frozen seeing the tea kettle trying to serve him tea from an overflowing cup that floated in the air.
"All right! Break it up!" Steven shushed away the tea kettle. "C'mon. We gotta get your lifetime partner out of the mess he's in before he becomes one of the ghouls here. It's not his time yet anyway."
As scared as he was he obeyed the part time cast member.
"Wait a minute. If we're in a ride how come there are real ghosts in here?" he asked.
"You choose to ask that now?" Steven said slapping his palm into his face. "GO FIND YOUR FRIEND YOU DOLT!"
"Right!" getting back into the matter of the situation. He ran through the graveyard which seemed even longer than the Corridor of Doors they were in earlier. Passing through he saw ghosts riding bicycles through all the tombstones on a hill behind the sunken hearse. There was a ghost trying to catch his head and a couple engrossed in a chess game all in mid-air.
"Hey you. Let go of my pal," Vince demanded catching up the ghost who took him away.
"You can't hurt me. Can't you see I'm already dead?" the ghost taunted.
"Sez you. Hocus Pocus!" Vince bellowed as he used the spell Steven taught him and Will earlier. The ghost became a fire hydrant which the skeleton dog saw right away.
"Mother!" he said meekly while the phantom pooch did its "business".
"Are you OK?" he asked Will.
"I will be. Thanks. You saved my life," he said to Vince.
Wathel who arrived on the scene saw the two making goo goo eyes at each other.
"Will and Vincent sittin' in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N..."
WHACK!
Steven hit Wathel with a ghost proof two by four.
"Pardon me
boys. Is this The Chattanooga Choo Choo." he said in a sing song
voice
before collapsing
into unconsciousness.
Both Will and Vince turned around to see what happened.
"Don't worry. He'll live - so to speak," he told them. He gave Ben to the guys who then got back into the doombuggy without further interruption. They did get some heckling from the hitchhiking ghosts on the way out which annoyed Steven to no end but he let it slide.
"Well, Gotta back to work, boys. Come see us again next time you're in town." he said and then disappeared into the ether.
Looking back at the mansion in the daylight when they got out Will, Vince and Baby Ben all agreed they would remember this incident for a long time. Especially Will Truman who would come to respect what the ghosts taught him about being more foot loose and fancy free.
"The day isn't over yet, Will. Let's look at that map and see where we should go next," Vince suggested. Snatching the pamphlet from his hand Will then tossed the map in a nearby trash can.
"We don't need it. Besides you did say you knew this place forwards and backwards didn't you?" he said to him.
"I gotta confess, Will. I only know half of the park from the last time I worked here," he said looking a bit embarrassed.
"That's OK, Sugar Bear. Besides it's more fun not knowing where you're going to anyway," he smiled. Vince was relieved to hear that.
"So Benny. Where else should we go?" they asked him. But he was fast asleep in Will's arms. They both concluded that they had enough for one day and headed out the exit for the monorail back to The Contemporary Hotel. They'd come back tomorrow after they all rested.
"I guess we all need a breather after this adventure," Will said. "No one could have the day we just did." Vince nodded in agreement.
Meanwhile...
"Where is she?"
Grace Adler said to her husband Leo. "You're were suppose to be
watching her!"
"I thought you
were watching Laila," he said to his wife.
"If you're looking for your kid she just walked into The Pirates Of The Caribbean attraction a few minutes ago," said a cast member with pointed ears eating a carrot stick in his left hand.
Hope everyone had fun reading this story. I was inspired to write this tale as a side story to tell what happened after Will and Vince got back together in the Last episode of Will And Grace. Since they are parents it made sense for both of them to give their son Ben the best possible vacation in the world. The day they there is left ambiguous and is not the day you're thinking of.
A follow up story will be in the works in which they are grandpas to Adult Ben and Laila's twin children. But that will be much later on.
And this makes the official appearance of my Tampa Buddy's alter ego who is a half bred vampire. His name is Frankiestein.
I really enjoyed writing this.
