'Ello, 'ello! I love all of you who reviewed:huggles you all: I feel like I have many spiffy readers. You're reviews make me laugh and smile. I guess I should tell you that I'm insanely busy. School is now in session for me. I doubt I'll be able to update as often as I'd like so, but I'll try. Much love to all.

Faceless Abuser

"Ne Me Laisse Pas Seule Ici"

-Hotel Rwanda Soundtrack-

White. That was the first thing Ryou saw when he opened his eyes. He was surrounded by nothing but brilliant white. It wasn't heaven. People that committed suicide didn't go to heaven…That must mean he was in a hospital. Great. The one place he really didn't want to be was the place he was. That also meant that someone saved him last night. Who, he had no idea, but he was sure he'd find out soon enough.

Ryou could hear the doctors chatting just outside his room. They were talking about him; even more good news. Groaning, the boy sat up and held his head in his hands. It felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer to his head. Everything made his head ache even worse than it already did…If that was at all possible.

"Ah, it seems that you've finally come to, young man. You're very lucky that you're still with us. We weren't sure you'd last the night," a male doctor stepped out of the crowd of doctors. He looked to be a nice man, probably no older than his thirties. His hair was a wavy chestnut colour that complimented his deep green eyes. Of course, none of this mattered to Ryou since he wasn't exactly in a position to be joyous.

"Would it have been so bad for me to die? It's not like I have much to live for anyways," Ryou murmured softly. He knew the doctor could hear him, which, again, seemed of no great consequence to the boy. His hand clutched the sheets tightly, anger seemingly filling his mind. He didn't want to live, dammit! That wasn't what he cut his wrists for. He wanted to die.

"What do you mean, Ryou? You have many things to live for. You're still young and have much to experience in life," the doctor tried to encourage the boy to want to get better. This didn't help and only made the already depressed boy sink lower. It would only be so long before he snapped and screamed at the doctor.

"No, doctor. I haven't much to live for in life. So, why do I have to live? According to you, I'm young. But then, why does my body feel so stretched and old? My mind is caught in the haze of yesterday's fog and you want me to live for that?" There was accusation present in his voice, which took the doctor by surprise.

"Well… I mean…You…Well, you see…" he was at a loss. What could possibly make a boy feel that way? Yes, he was depressed and wanted to die, but still…

"Forget it, doctor. Just give me the paper I have to sign to be released and let me go home," Ryou sighed and held out a hand for the paper. At first, the doctor looked like he was going to protest before sighing and pulling something off his clipboard. He handed the paper to Ryou, who took it numbly and found some old pen to sign it. When done, he stood shakily from the hospital bed and gathered all the things that belonged to him. Not looking at the doctor, the boy left without another word to anyone. Not even the nurses.

Getting home wasn't hard. He didn't call for a ride, instead deciding to walk all eight miles to his "beloved" home. Slipping the key into the lock, the door moaned at the return of its owner before creaking open. Ryou didn't expect anyone to be home, which was a grave miscalculation on his part. Almost as soon as the door was shut, a voice arose causing him to jump.

"What are you doing home already? They told me you wouldn't be out for the next few days," Bakura stood in the main entranceway, his silhouette the only thing one could see. Ryou backed against the door, slightly uneasy with this new development. Judging on he strong he felt right now and how strong Bakura almost always was, he knew there were slim chances for him to escape. Body still tense, Ryou answered softly, fear edging into his voice.

"I asked to be released and signed the paper saying I'd not try to commit suicide again, Bakura. So, they let me go home early," he shivered slightly. The house was abnormally cold today. The man in front of him began to step closer, making the boy push his body farther into the door, almost trying to go through it and run away. That's when he smelt it again; Bakura was drunk…again. What was he going to do now? There was no way he could fight the other when he was drunk. Closing his eyes, Ryou prepared for the worst.

But, no slap or drunken kiss ever came. Instead, he felt arms embracing him softly. Opening his eyes lightly, the hikari realized that the other was hugging him. Almost a hug two friends gave each other to say they were sorry. "Ba…Bakura? What…?"

"I'm so sorry, Ryou. I know I hurt you a lot, but I want you to know….I really love you a lot. I'm so sorry. I love you," was that a sniffle? Now Ryou was completely confused. Bakura put him through all that and then claimed to love him! Pushing the man off heavily, the boy slapped him…hard. Bakura looked completely confused. "Ryou…What? Why?"

"You expect me to believe you after everything you've done to me! You abused me, Bakura. You even raped me! And now you want to tell me that you love me! Why? Why!" He was screaming now. He knew Bakura had no plausible answer to his question either. Something hot stung his eyes and Ryou realized he was crying. Shrieking in anger and frustration, the boy ran to the kitchen, almost desperately.

"Ryou! Ryou, what the hell are you doing!" Bakura screeched after his hikari. He saw Ryou pull out a knife from a drawer and prepare to cut his wrists again. Eyes widening, he pulled of a sort of flying tackle, causing the knife to go skidding off in an unreachable direction. "Ryou, no! What are you doing!"

"Let go of me! I want to finish it! Let me finish it, Goddammit!" Ryou screamed whilst thrashing against Bakura's hold. Tears were still spilling out of his eyes. "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! Let me go! Bakura, let me the fuck go!"

Bakura wouldn't let go though. Instead, he pulled the trashing and angry boy into his hold, tears almost spilling from his own eyes. He heard the words, and understood that he deserved them, but that wouldn't stop him from trying to change the boy's mind. Ryou's thrashing soon subsided into shudders and sobs. His fists hit the other meekly in the chest before stopping completely.

"I hate you…Why? Why can't I hate you? Why can't I…? Why is it that I always feel safe in your arms and no one else? Why do you mess with my mind this way? Why!" The poor boy continued to cry, hands making their way up and around Bakura's neck.

"Shh, I don't know," the yami answered in a meek voice. He held the boy lightly, knowing that anything more would only make the moment go sour.

"I want to hate you. I want to, so much. But I can't and I hate it. I hate feeling so weak and stripped bare in front of you," Ryou's voice was wavering a bit, becoming progressively tired. His mind was making him sleep. It was making him shut down for just a little while. Everything that had happened had just been a total overload for the poor, high school student's mind. His eyes fluttered lightly before closing, allowing him to fall into a blissful sleep in his abuser's arms.

He couldn't help smiling just a bit at how the young boy fit just right into his arms. Sliding his other arm under the boy's legs, Bakura picked him up and carried him up the stairs. They both needed rest, though Bakura needed it for the purpose of sobering up. After the boy had cut himself the previous night, Bakura had ransacked his room. Something he didn't want Ryou to wake up to later on. Stumbling into his own bedroom, the yami laid the boy on the bed before sitting next to him. He brushed a bit of hair that had fallen into Ryou's face, almost smiling lightly.

Moving to the end of the bed, Bakura pulled off the boy's boots and socks. Pulling off his own socks, the yami laid next to his little love. Not that Ryou would ever let himself become Bakura's love. Once again smiling, the man placed a light kiss on Ryou's cheek. 'He's so cute when he sleeps…Like a small child,' he remarked to himself fondly, 'My little, adorable child.' These were his last thoughts before slipping into the oblivion that meant sweet release from the chains of reality. And so, the two slept in relative peace on the same bed. It was a sweet scene and one they might even remember years from now.

oO Abnormally short chapter, loves. I'm really sorry for that but if I tried to make it any longer, it'd never, ever get done. So, Bakura's finally confessed his love! How will Ryou react to this? Find out in the next chapter! Oh, kudos to anyone that knows what the bit from Hotel Rwanda means. Maybe I'll do something special for someone if they figure it out first…