Chapter Five: Mad in Madagascar

Chris: [narrating] Previously on Total Drama Destiny, our teams headed down south for a good old-fashioned country fair. We pitted them in everything ranging from pig racing to chili contests to balloon darts, to butter churning, to finding a needle in the haystack. By the end of the day, all three teams were tied at ten points each, leaving it up to a killer musical to see who'd break the tiebreaker. During all this, Team Daredevil seemed to be in a good spot to get along with one another after Lightning Dust's elimination, but it seems the big bad Dob twins had other ideas with a certain someone. However, with Dodger's snazzy vocals and silver tongue, he may have secured goodish terms with Roscoe and Desoto about cats and dogs coming together as a single unit. To add to that, Team Daredevil took home the blue ribbon of victory and a ticket to first-class, while Team Cajun had to go back to elimination and vote off another teammate. When it came down to Daria and her sucky octaves and Doggie with his sucky athletics, it was the orange daddy-o who found that he just didn't have what it takes to remain in the competition for very long. Oh well, his loss on being a loser, am I right? [chuckles, on-screen, in the cockpit with Chef] Fourteen contestants still afloat, or should I say, still up in the air, who's next to kick the bucket for their team, and how will the new alliance of Team Daredevil hold out? We'll have to tune in to find out, right here on Total...Drama...Destiny!

[cue theme song, the episode continues]

[scene shows Team Daredevil in first-class where Thomas and Scat are seen sitting next to one another contentedly]

Thomas: Haaaaaa...this is the life, ain't it?

Scat: You can say that again, I don't think I've eva' felt so relaxed in ma' life.

Thomas: Weeeeell, apart from the times I've helped you relax.

Scat: Awwww, now you just bein' cheeky, aren't ya'?

Thomas: I mean, that's up to your interpretation. [chuckles as he feels Scat poke at his waist] Hehe, hey, stop that! Hahaha!
Scat: Why, I wanna hear more a' that laughta' a' yours~

[scene cuts to Dodger watching with a grin from a few seats away]

Dodger: Now ain't that a cute spectacle?

Thomas: Lonely there, Dodger?

Dodger: Ah, no, I'm just enjoying the show.

Scat: You're a cheeky kink, aren't ya?
Dodger: Guilty as charged.

[scene cuts to Roscoe and Desoto watching from the bar]

[static buzzing]

Roscoe: Okay, so here's the rundown; we're currently on the outs unless we stay off the path of third place.

Desoto: Can you believe we're actually considering being that...ugh, I'm not even gonna say the word.

Roscoe: Not exactly, we just need to keep in their good graces so that it's less of a reason to target us, in the case one of them screws up, all we need to do is work the dice in our favor so that we can stay in the ring.

Desoto: You think we'll be able to cope until the merge, there's still a way to go and currently we're relying on luck.

Roscoe: Trust me, I've ways of keeping us afloat, and Dodger just so happens to be the ticket, so long as he keeps that tongue of his in check.

Desoto: You wouldn't mind saving me a seat in case he tries anything, would you?

Roscoe: Oh, without a doubt, after all, I can't have all the fun.

[static buzzing]

Dodger: You know, there's something sweet about seeing them two together, and kinda ironic that I'm currently the only one on the team not officiated in a duo. I mean, you got Thomas and Scat, the twins, and then there's me as the lone wolf. But hey, there's perks to being the middleman, so to speak.

[static buzzing]

[scene cuts to economy class where Teams Cajun and Siamese are seen on opposite sides of each other]

Daria: Just for the record, my octaves aren't sucky.

Jane: I could believe that. You've performed your fair share of solos.

Daria: I suppose some people just don't have taste in music.

Si: Well, he's not wrong, you know.

Daria: Excuse me?

Am: Your voice is so flat, it's a wonder it hasn't hit the floor.

Daria: Isn't that ironic coming from someone serving as a yesman and just adding onto what another person says?

Am: I'll have you know that I'm perfectly capable of speaking on my own.

Jane: And it took up until this point for you two not to talk in sync with one another, someone give them an A for effort.

Si: Getting sassy now, are we? Mayhaps another push back into last place will do you good, do your herd a favor and vote yourselves off.

Daria: Yes, because I'm going to do exactly what a pair of two people sharing one brain cell ask of me.

Si: Say that again, I dare you. [extends out her claws]

Jane: Resorting to claws, I see. How charming.

El Jefe: [sighs] And once again, I have to be subjected to listening to a bunch of irritating noise.

Cajun: Hmm, I know whatcha' mean, maybe I could assist with yo' lil issue.

El Jefe: Does it involve crawling all over me like a parasite?

Cajun: Sha, I wouldn't call it bein' a parasite, sug, especially since I ain't bringin' no vermin onto you, nothin' but honey on this trip.

El Jefe: Mmmmmmm...I suppose given how you and I were the only ones to actually win a challenge yesterday...I'll let on this once.

Cajun: [gets up close to the tiger's face] Ya' mean it, sug?

El Jefe: [puts a paw on the fox's nose] This once, do you hear?

Cajun: Mmmmmmmmm, I hear ya'...now, I'mma just settle on here…[lays down on El Jefe's lap like a feral cat]

[static buzzing]

El Jefe: Having only four players on my team compared to the other's five is quite frankly unacceptable by my standards. Not to mention that we've only come in first once, but rest assured, I don't plan on staying in disgusting economy class for long, especially with that Cooper mancha de gallo [looks up] who better NOT be hiding in the vent again...I see I frightened the little bitch off, must not have been to handle these…[unsheathes his claws]

[static buzzing]

Sly: You two finished your little "session"?

Si: Oh, shut up, ringtail.

Sly: Harsh.

Am: Good.

Leshawna: Okay, I'm serious right now, you have got ta' stop instigatin' fights with others.

Si: How can you say that, it's those people who don't know their place.

Leshawna: And it's in yo' best interest to realize that I ain't gonna tolerate no foolishness unless ya'll want a ticket outta here.

Starlight: She's got you there.

Am: But we...we just...ugh, whatever.

[static buzzing]

Am: I hate to say it, but...they do have a point…?

Si: [sighs] I can see what you mean, we're currently outnumbered as it is, especially with that Leshawna on our tails.

Am: What do you suppose we do?

Si: This goes against everything we've stood for...but until we can drop it, we'll have to...eck, play nice…[shudders]...which means we'll have to let them antagonize us and let them take the rep for acting up.

Am: This is going to be hard…

Si: [puts a hand on her twin's shoulder] Trust me, I know…

[static buzzing]

Sly: Listen, I dunno about you, but economy class can kiss my sore ass, ooooh, these benches…

Cajun: Mmm, kinky.

El Jefe: ¿En serio?

Starlight: At least in normal economy, you got seats to recline on...well, until the person behind you starts complaining.

Sly: For real, what's the point of adding in that feature when everyone's so tightly packed together?

Starlight: Look, I get people would rather spend what they need to get to their destination, but if I'm gonna step eight or so hours in the air, I'd better have some comfort.

Sly: You and me both.

Daria: Isn't it ironic how we were just having this conversation yesterday?

Jane: Well, that's one way to describe it.

Sly: [looks up to the shelf above] Welp, I'm bored, might as get in some exercise.

Leshawna: Um, exercise? [watches as the raccoon does a handstand and wraps his tail around the shelf and begins to winch himself up and down] Oh...I stand corrected.

Sly: See this? This is flexibility.

Si: Very impressive.

Am: Oh, yes, such skill. [makes a gagging gesture to Si]

Cajun: Ya' think you teach me that, I wanna use it to surprise ma' hons from above.

Sly: Well, it's all in the tail, slick.

[scene cuts back to first class where the five members of Team Daredevil are now sat either side of one another, Thomas and Scat to the viewers' right, Roscoe and Desoto to the viewer's left while Dodger is standing up on the twins' side]

Dodger: Okay, so we're all in agreement to stick by one another until the teams merge?
Roscoe: Just a reminder, this is a temporary alliance until we've plucked off the others, then it'll be every dog for himself.

Thomas: And every cat for himself...well, with a few exceptions.

Scat: I think I can agree ta' that.

Desoto: And don't any a' you go double-crossing, ya' hear? We wouldn't want there to be any accidents, now would we?

Dodger: Ros does teasing then intimidation, you do intimidation then teasing, what a combo.

Roscoe: Hehe, don't call me that, Dodgy.

Dodger: Now look who's calllin' who by nicknames.

Roscoe: Prolly cuz I have the advantage.

Dodger: Gettin' a little ahead of yourself, aren't ya'?

Roscoe: [cups the fox terrier's cheeks] Oh, I dunno, am I?

Intercom: Attention, passengers, please proceed to the meeting area, including the lovebirds in first class.

Roscoe: Ah, f**k off.

[scene cuts to the fourteen contestants now in the meeting area]

Chris: Now why is it that whenever I walk in here everybody gets on edge like I'm about to toss them out of a plane or something?
Daria: Is that even a joke at this point?

Chris: Come on, I haven't done that to you guys this season. Yet, anyways. [grabs hold of a latch handle nearby and opening it with glee] I say that it's time to change that!

El Jefe: Motherfu-

[the high wind forces the contestants to hold on to the tables in an attempt to not get sucked out of the open door, but it is futile, as one by one they are sent flying outside. Thankfully, they have been flying over water and splash down with relative safety. A large island is nearby and by the time everyone has swam to shore, Chris and Chef have successfully landed the plane on the beach]

Chris: Hope you enjoyed your little swim!

Starlight: You do know that could have killed us, right?!

Chris: Yes, yes, I do.

Starlight: Asshole…

Chris: Why thank you. Now that you're bright eyed and bushy tailed, we can turn our attention to today's locale. Madagascar! Technically part of Africa, but nestled on this neat little island off the mainland of the continent. Somewhere around 90 percent of the wildlife here can't be found anywhere else in the world. Unless it's in a zoo or something, at least. You guys will get a good chance to meet a lot of those animals, since today's challenge will put your tracking skills to the test. Here to give out the rules is classic TD competitor Beth, and cheery blue ray of sunshine Charlotte.

[Chef, Beth, and Charlotte arrive each holding a medallion with the respective team's logo on it]

Beth: Hi, guys, it's so incredulous to meet you! I can hardly contain myself!

Charlotte: Tee-hee, me too, hi kitties, hi puppies! Can I pet you?

Chris: Ahem, if you two would cease the fangirling, I'd like you to lay down the rules.

Beth: Oh, right. Somewhere on the island we've hidden three pieces to a medallion with your team logo on it. All you guys have to do is find all pieces of your medallion and return here to the beach with them to assemble the full thing.

Desoto: And what's stoppin' us from just chucking the other guy's pieces into the ocean if we find one before they do?

Charlotte: Weeeeell, if you find a piece of another team's medallion, you need to put it back, or else you're disqualified. Doesn't that sound fun?

Roscoe: [sarcastically] Ah, yeah, it's riot for sure. [to Desoto] That girl's real off, you know?

Chris: But while we're on the subject I will be giving each team one of these [hands each team a walkie talkie] so you all can check in on your progress. Feel free to gloat when you find one of your own pieces.

Scat: Do we get a map or somethin' to get a feel for where our stuff is?

Chris: Honestly, you'd think after this long they would know better than asking things like that. [Chef shakes his head]

Thomas: It was just a question, jeez.

Chris: Keep those walkie talkies on, I'll check in on you guys from time to time and I need to let you know when it's time to sing. With that all out of the way, get to hunting!

[the teams begin to set off into the jungle]

Daria: How much do you wanna bet we'll have to sing "What a Wonderful World?"
Jane: I'd rather not think about it, last time I checked, that song plus jungle means trouble.

Daria: Point taken.

Beth: Do you think they'll be alright in there?

Chris: Probably not.

Charlotte: Bye, kitties, bye, puppies, I wish you all well!

Chris: Will our teams survive the depths of the jungle, who will be the first to make it out alive? Find out the answer to that when we return on Total...Drama...Destiny!

[scene cuts to black, the episode ends]

[scene shows Team Daredevil walking through the jungle]

Thomas: This is perfect, all we have to do is look for signs of where Chris' interns might have been through, then track them to where the medallion pieces were hid.

Roscoe: At that rate, we'll be heading back to first class by the end of today.

Dodger: I would say we shouldn't push our luck, but seein' as we're workin' together as a group, this should be a snap.

[scene cuts to Team Siamese]

Sly: I say that we've got the best shot of winning given ya'll got moi on your team, I could do this kinda thing in my sleep.

Si: Let's hope you can back that up by leading us to the pieces of our medallion.

Am: Hang on, is that something golden up ahead?

Leshawna: Woah, that was quick, maybe luck is on our side today.

[as they continue on, they spot a piece of their medallion up in a tree]

Starlight: Right then, I'll just bring it down and-[at that moment, a group of lemurs approach the branch holding the piece, one of them picks it up]-uh, excuse me, but that's ours.

[the lemurs look down...and then one of them chucks a nut down at Starlight]

Starlight: Ow! What was that for?!

[suddenly, more lemurs appear in the tree and begin to throw down nuts and stones down at them]

Si: AH!
Am: OW!
Leshawna: OH!
Sly: HEY!
Starlight: ACK!

[scene cuts to Team Daredevil in another part of the jungle as they come across a river with an old log strung across. On the other side appears to be something shining in the distance]

Dodger: There's our ticket!

Desoto: Best we get a move-on across this bridge.

[as Team Daredevil begins to cross the log, the sound of creaking is heard beneath them]

Scat: Mmmm, that don't sound too good...

[just as he says that, the log's creaking grows louder...the team begins to slow down their pace...just in time for the log to snap beneath their weight]

Roscoe: S**T!

Thomas: The current, it's dragging us on!

[scene cuts back to Team Siamese still caught in the onslaught of the lemurs]

Leshawna: There's so many of them!

Starlight: How are we supposed to drive them off?!

[at that moment, the lemurs being to jump down from the tree and pelt themselves onto the team]

Si: AH! They're all over me!

Am: Help! Help!

Sly: Rrrraff! C'mon, you all wanna piece of this, come and get it!

[scene cuts to Team Cajun walking in a different section of the jungle]

Cajun: Yeeesh, I don't like me the looks of this, it's awfully unsettlin'.

Jane: Never thought I'd say this, but I agree with the nutjob.

Daria: I can concur on that, where even are these stupid pieces anyway?

El Jefe: [squints his eyes as he sees something shining in a rockface several yards away] I think we just struck gold…[his ear twitches when he hears rustling in the bushes nearby]...shh...I think I hear something…

Cajun: [freezes when he hears it too] Uh, folks...we're not alone…

[at that moment, a tribe of fossa warriors emerge from the bushes and surround the four contestants]

Daria: Okay, we're officially screwed…

Jane: Ditto…

[scene cuts to them all tied up to a rock as the tribe surrounds them as they march around a bonfire]

Chris: [through the walkie-talkie] Hey there, teams, just checking in to see how you're all doing.

Daria: Oh nothing much, just enjoying captivity at the hands of a fossa tribe.

Leshawna: [through the walkie-talkie] Lemurs! Trouble! Big!

Scat: [through the walkie-talkie] We're being washed out here!

Chris: Gee, that sounds kinda serious...I know of a way to fix that!

[Ding! Ding!]

All: Seriously?!
Chris: Yep, seriously, now get singing before some of you end up being disqualified!

El Jefe: Words cannot describe how much I want to hurt that man…

[the music starts up]

Daria: And the producers put Chris in charge, and they were weak

And they were weak

And they were weak

Jane: And he sent us in the jungle to die, to meet our end

To meet our end

To meet our end

El Jefe: He's a damn menace! Curse him and his wretched soul!

Leshawna: Lost in the jungle without a clue to meet our doom

To meet our doom

To meet our doom, and go boom!

Sly: We can't go back the way we began

Help me, man

Please understand

Help me, man

Dodger: We're completely lost now

We need to get out somehow

Roscoe: Get us out by the evening

Desoto: Or we'll be bringing

Roscoe and Desoto: Suffering cuz we will hurt him

We will hurt him

Starlight: There's danger around every corner, there it is again

And again

And again

Cajun: Oh my God, this trail never ends

It never ends

It never ends

Si: I've never had such a scare

As those eyes stare

Am: It's really hard not to cry

When you might die

Si and Am: Someone, please help us

El Jefe: Has he no sense of shame?

Once we get back, I'll make him get down on his knees

I'll be making my claim

That his soul is a hole of disease

Thomas: Scat, please hold me, dear, look into my eyes

Scat: Tommy, I'm so full of fear, not telling no lies

Thomas: I'll make sure that he pays

For his backward ways

Scat: We need to make it out

I'm so full of doubt

But I'm not done yet

He won't forget

Thomas and Scat: The suffering cuz we will hurt him

We will hurt him

Daria: And the producers put Chris in charge, and they were weak

And they were weak

And we were weak

Jane: I wished this day had never come

We should have known

We should have known

Now we're alone

El Jefe: I refuse to submit like a weak, wet little bitch

What I wouldn't give to throw him in a ditch

Damn it, I won't be broken

You've awoken

The might of the tiger

And the strength, and the power, and the vengeance

Forever

And ever

And ever

Hear the ROAR!

[the roar of the tiger echoes throughout the jungle]

[the fossas stop their marching as some of them recoil, other mutter and murmur amongst themselves...before the leader of the tribe walks up to El Jefe and gets down on a knee]

Fossa Leader: No one has ever shook the jungle with that kind of noise for ages…

Fossa #1: Not since the lion-

Fossa #2: Shh! We don't mention that!

Fossa Leader: I can see that you must be of the leader stature with that power and physique of yours...for that, I offer you my services to assist you with whatever it is you need.

El Jefe: Is that so...in that case…

[scene cuts back to Team Daredevil having washed up on a string of vines hanging down into the water as they pull themselves out from the drink]

Dodger: Okay...that didn't go according to plan…

Roscoe: No...it didn't…

Desoto: And now we gotta walk aaaaaall the way back...ugggggggggggghhhhh!

[scene cuts back to Team Siamese still caught in the lemur attack]

Starlight: [blasts off several with her horn] Get off, rodents!

Sly: Hold on, I got me an idea! [jumps up into the tree] Hey, lemurs! Want a piece a' dis? [shakes his tail about] Come and get it! [zips off into the trees as the lemurs give chase, their motion shaking down the medallion pieces from the tree]

Si: Where on earth are you going?!

Am: Look, the pieces!

Si: [gasps] Yes!

Leshawna: Uh, shouldn't we wait for Sly ta' get back?

Si: No time for that now, we need to hurry!

Am: On the double!

Starlight: [shrugs] Might as well.

[scene cuts to Chris and Chef waiting on the beach. By now, the sky has turned to dusk]

Chris: You think any of them got eaten alive?

Chef: Probably fell down a waterfall, got chased by the wildlife, maybe landed in some quicksand, who knows?

Chris: True that.

Cajun: [off-screen] We're here! We're here!

Chef: I guess that answers that question.

Chris: Time to assemble!

[Team Cajun begins to assemble their team's medallion as a ruffled looking Team Siamese enter the area, followed by a wet and weary Team Daredevil]

Scat: [panting] We…we made it…[plops onto the sand]

Thomas: Yeeeeeeah…[plops onto Scat's waist]

Starlight: Okay, just put this here…

Leshawna: And then that there…

Roscoe: Just gotta…

Desoto: Get this…

El Jefe: Done!

Chris: And Team Cajun wins the challenge!

Cajun: Haha! We did it! [tightly hugs El Jefe]

Daria: I'd say some relaxation is well deserved after the day we've had.

Jane: I'll hold you to that.

Chris: Now then, Team Daredevil, you came in last, so it's looking like the elimination ceremony for you…

Dodger: Ughhhhhh…[plops onto the sand]…great…

Chris: However, it appears that Team Siamese is missing a member, which means they've got a point against them, so, it's elimination time for Team Siamese.

All the members of Team Siamese: Ugggggghhhhh…

[scene cuts to black, at the elimination ceremony]

Chris: You've all had yourselves a stressful day, and it's about to become even more stressful. [chuckles] I wonder which one of you ladies will be taking the Drop of Shame tonight?

[static buzzing]

Si: That blasted raccoon! How could he just go up and leave us like that?!

Am: Ooooooh, if he were here now, I'd strangle his neck!

[static buzzing]

Chris: Now's the time I would ask you all to head to the loser class bathroom to stamp the passport of the team member you'd like to send home…but tonight, it seems that Sly's done our job for us, seeing as he's currently missing in action unless he reappears, he'll count as tonight's elimination, which means the rest of you are safe…for now…

[the members of Team Siamese all breathe a sigh of relief]

[static buzzing]

Si: Wherever that sneaky thief is, he'd better watch out next time he meets us.

Am: Safe to say, we'll have a few choice words to say to him.

[static buzzing]

Chris: Well, talk about a day of surprises, we've got a contestant currently AWOL, Team Siamese caught a lucky break, but will it last, and will we be able to track down where on Earth is Sly Cooper? Tune in next time to find out, right here on Total…Drama…Destiny!

[scene cuts to black as the episode ends]