"This is healing very well, considering everything," Dr. Svoboda observed, manipulating my arm gently. He held my bicep and forearm in each hand, examining the wound clinically. I didn't exactly want to look at it, but I didn't want to seem spineless, either. Tiger was sitting in the armchair beside me, feet propped on my bed (as usual), watching the doctor work. "The infection's been contained, and you're looking a little more alert. How do you feel?"
I nodded, glancing at my arm and promptly looking away. The skin was still discolored, but I guessed it was looking a lot better, anyways. I still didn't want to look at it. "Better. More awake."
I was glad to have Tiger here, even though he…well, out of all of them, he had the worst bedside manner. Lion and Bear were getting some much-needed rest at a hotel down the block. Tiger had been reading a book when I'd woken, sending me a glance of acknowledgement before continuing to read. Still, his presence was comforting; at least I wasn't alone.
Dr. Svoboda nodded, looking pleased. "Well, you'll need to stay a few more days for observation and to make sure everything's under control, but you're healing remarkably well. You've still got a bit of a fever, which is our main concern, but it's much lower than when you were brought in. I'm inclined to label it a medical miracle." He set my arm gently back in the sling and scribbled something on his chart, and I waited, fingers on my good hand tapping anxiously. He'd said he wanted to discuss long-term effects and a couple other medical issues, and I was kind of nervous.
Tiger nudged my leg with his foot, and I glanced at him. "Calm down," he said with a pointed look at the heart monitor. His eyes were narrowed.
Oh. Yeah, it was beeping kind of fast.
"Not a fan of doctors?" Dr. Svoboda asked with a smile, looking unperturbed. "I wasn't either as a kid."
I shifted uncomfortably, trying for a smile as he pulled up the abandoned stool beside the bed and sat. "Just…never liked them much."
Doctor Three and Doctor Grief pretty much ruined that for me. As well as spending most of my time not on missions or not in school in hospital.
"I'll try to be quick, then," he said with a reassuring smile, propping his clipboard against his knees. He glanced at Tiger. "Some of this may be things you want kept private. Would you like Tiger to stay or go?"
Thrown off guard, I glanced at Tiger uncertainly. Tiger, characteristic scowl in place, shrugged. "Up to you, kid. I'll do whatever."
Well, this was…actually kind of a hard decision. Normally I'd ask that he leave, but…last night had thrown all my blinders off, and I didn't know what I was supposed to do now. On some level I kind of regretted sharing as much as I had, especially my name. What had I been thinking?
On the other hand, though, it was really nice to not be…a complete fake. To let Matthew take a break and let myself just be for a while. Maybe that was a step in the right direction. I'd trusted Tiger last night, along with Lion and Bear…I figured I should trust him now, too.
"Stay?" I asked, trying to appear a little more confident than I felt.
With a shadow of a smile, he nodded.
Dr. Svoboda looked down at his chart and continued, "Alright, then. I'll start by saying, as I said yesterday, that there could be some lasting effects from the sepsis. First of all, your immune system will be compromised, probably for the rest of your life. You'll need to be very, very careful about keeping yourself healthy in the foreseeable future, and I'm going to prescribe you some immune boosters to take for a while. I'll transfer the prescription to your GP or your base, whichever you prefer."
I nodded, figuring as much. I already had a compromised immune system from the bullet wound and subsequent recovery, so now I'd just have to be extra careful, I supposed.
"Okay," he said, fishing out a pamphlet from under his stack of papers, handing it to me. On the cover, in fancy script, it read, "I survived sepsis. What's next?" It was thoughtful of him to find one written in English. "This is a general list of some things you might face in the near future, but I'll go over the big ones with you. Medically, a lot of people experience dry skin and dehydration, so it's especially important to stay hydrated, and a lot of people experience weakness or fatigue for several weeks after they're discharged, which can accompany general aches and pains and breathlessness. You'll need to take it easy when you're not in physical therapy.
"That being said, as I said yesterday, you'll need some help for a few weeks. Do you have someone who can help you with everyday tasks you need done? Getting to and from the bathroom, preparing meals, that kind of thing?"
I blanched, feeling the color drain from my face. Telling the others had been one thing, but I wasn't sure how much I could trust this doctor I barely knew, no matter how much he'd done for me. "Um—"
"He does," Tiger interrupted gruffly, rolling his eyes when I glanced at him, surprised. "I swear, Jaguar. You're the thickest bloke out there."
I blinked, snorting. I supposed that was deserved. I gave him a half-smile, which he acknowledged with a grunt that sounded halfway positive.
"Well, that's good," the doctor commented, moving on. He adjusted his glasses, continuing, "You're going to need a lot of help. Besides that, sepsis can be a traumatic experience for several people, and especially so in your case. You may experience things like nightmares, flashbacks, insomnia, anxiety, insecurity…things synonymous with post-traumatic stress disorder. I can prescribe you a sleep aid, if you'd like."
Well, that sounded like a typical Tuesday, for me. Nothing I hadn't dealt with before. "It's okay," I said. I needed to be able to wake up from the nightmares. "But thank you."
He nodded, his eyes furrowing the slightest bit. "One more thing. Weight loss is common after sepsis, as patients usually don't have much of an appetite. I did want to talk to you about that. Do you know how much an average male your age and height is supposed to weigh?"
I blinked, surprised. I saw Tiger look up intently, watching with intrigued eyes. "Um…I dunno…65 kilos, maybe? With my muscle mass?" I wasn't as buff as Lion, but I wasn't a beanpole, either. I was more on the lean side, I supposed.
"Between 60 and 66 kilos is optimal," he said, setting the chart down and leaning forward. "These questions are going to be a bit personal. Is that alright?"
I heard the monitor speed up, felt Tiger nudge me again, but I didn't look at him. "I suppose."
"Do you normally eat three meals a day? And are they a normal portion size for someone your age and height, as far as you know?"
"Um…" I started, not really knowing how to respond. I wasn't entirely sure where he was going with this. "I suppose…I have a bad habit of skipping meals sometimes," I admitted. "But not often." I also had a bad habit of getting sick after nightmares, which nixed dinner and killed my appetite for breakfast.
"I think it's a little more often than you think, mate," Tiger commented. Turning his eyes to the doctor, he said, "I'd say we're lucky to see him in the mess at all three meals three or four times a week."
I blinked, honestly surprised that 1) I was actually skipping that much, and 2) he'd noticed.
"That'll do it," the doctor said. "You're underweight, Jaguar. You weighed 54 kilos when you were brought in, and you've been on a mostly fluids diet for the past four days. Have you ever been diagnosed with an eating disorder?"
I didn't…really know how to respond to that. Obviously no, I hadn't, but…I ate when I was hungry. I just didn't have much of an appetite after everything that had happened. Some things just seemed more important than food, or I needed the time to collect myself, or…things just kept…happening.
"No," I said quietly, eyes wide. "I didn't…I didn't know. I mean…I guess I don't eat as much as I need, but I hadn't…noticed."
"Okay," the doctor conceded, leaning back. I couldn't make myself look at Tiger. I had no idea what his reaction would be, and I didn't really want to know. "Do you have any pre-existing medical conditions where weight loss is a common side-effect? Including mental disorders like depression, or PTSD?"
I flinched, looking away. I focused on the ceiling, taking a deep breath. "Um…" The Pleasures had been quick to take me to a psychiatrist in the first week of staying with them, who'd been quick to diagnose me with anxiety, depression, PTSD, insomnia brought on by nightmares and the anxiety, acute stress disorder, panic disorder, and phobias (which I didn't even know was an actual disorder until she diagnosed me).
I'd apparently been one of the most traumatized patients she'd ever worked with, and I'd revealed very little about my history, mostly sticking to the experiences themselves instead of the circumstances (MI6 and SCORPIA, namely)—I'd lasted three sessions before refusing to go back. She constantly asked about further studies, wanting to work with a neurologist she knew to do some studies on my brain functions and thought processes. I felt more like a lab experiment than a patient, so I'd elected against going back, and the Pleasures had let me.
Still, I didn't know how to reveal all that to Tiger and the doctor. It was one thing to reveal my name, and that I was being chased. It was one thing to rely on them for help and support for what little they knew, and another thing entirely to admit that I was this…broken. This damaged.
"Oi," Tiger said, his voice shocking me back into reality. I flicked my eyes to him, and I realized that I'd been breathing quickly. Tiger's eyes were narrowed in concern, and he'd leaned forward, his feet now on the ground instead of my bed. His hand was on my shoulder. How had I missed that? "Take a breath. No one's making you say anything."
I did, but it turned into more of a gasp. Shit. I hated it when this happened.
"I'm just going to assume it's yes," the doctor said with concerned eyes, marking something on his clipboard. "You don't have to tell me which specific ones, but I'm guessing anxiety? PTSD?"
Tiger's hand squeezed my shoulder in reassurance, though his face stayed characteristically unpleasant, and I have a hesitant nod. "Yes, um…both of those."
Well, it was easier not having to say it, at least. I felt pangs of embarrassment in my chest, face blushing from more than the fever.
"It's alright," Dr. Svoboda reassured. "I just wanted to make sure there was nothing wrong with you medically speaking; several patients lose weight when their gallbladder stops working, or if there's something wrong with your intestines or stomach. I didn't see any surgical scars, other than those associated with prior wounds, so I needed to double check." I nodded. Well, that was thoughtful. I felt kind of bad, now. "That being said, are you taking medication for those disorders? You really need to put some weight back on."
My good hand clenched the sheets on the bed, my heart feeling like it was going to pound out of my chest. I'd revealed so much more than I thought possible last night, and I was spent. I couldn't—I couldn't let another person know, especially one I didn't trust much. I couldn't make myself do that again, I couldn't—
"Could we talk about it and I'll give you the information you need?" Tiger asked suddenly, hand squeezing my shoulder again. "There are a couple confidential details I think he'd like kept private."
I glanced at him, a little pissed that he'd managed to surprise me so much in so little time. I shouldn't have been surprised, after all, because he seemed very willing to help, but I wasn't used to it. I didn't know how I was supposed to respond, or react.
"Well, I suppose that would be alright," the doctor said, cleaning his glasses and standing. His eyes were concerned and a bit guilty. "I'm sorry if those were uncomfortable, Jaguar. I had to make sure you were alright. For now, I'm going to give you something to calm down, okay?"
"Um…no, that's okay," I said quickly. I'd been drugged too many times to be alright with it. "I'm really fine, there's no need for it."
He looked unconvinced, glancing at my heart rate and oxygen levels, but something in my tone must have convinced him. "Alright. I'll come back in half an hour to check on you. If you're still not calm by then, though, I'll give you something. Fair?"
I gave him a tight nod, shoulders relaxing as he left. Tiger patted my shoulder and leaned back.
"Thanks," I said quietly, blinking at the ceiling. "For…you know."
"And that's why nobody's alone in the hospital," he said, stretching his back before settling back into the armchair, replacing his feet on my bed. "Dr. Svoboda's a good guy who means well, but doctors are so damn nosy."
I snorted, smiling. "Got that right."
"So. What do I need to tell him about the medication?" He asked, arms crossed over his chest. "You okay to tell me that much?"
Taking a deep breath, I nodded, glancing at him. It was easier now that it was just him. He already knew the big stuff…this wouldn't be as bad. And it was just him. I was sure he'd tell Bear and Lion, but as long as I wouldn't have to be there, or see their reactions…it was…easier. Doable.
"Yeah, I…yeah. Um…when I…you know, disappeared to come here as, uh, Matthew…I couldn't renew my prescriptions. And…I came from America, so I couldn't really…transfer them to another doctor, or anything. I guess just tell him that…I honestly don't want any," I said quietly. I hated the bloody drugs; taking them altogether made me feel like a zombie. It dulled my senses and my reflexes, and as much as I hated the flashbacks and nightmares and chest-crushing anxiety, I hated the feeling of helplessness more. "And if he prescribes them, I'm probably not going to take them. But…if he just wants to, I suppose, I used to take a sleep aid for nightmares and insomnia, something for anxiety, and something for depression."
The words came in a rush of air, and I focused on a point past Tiger, unable to look at him. God, I must have sounded like a disaster. I didn't even want to know how screwed up he must've thought I was.
"Do you remember the names, or dosages?" He asked, voice steady.
I shook my head. "No. I think the one for depression started with an R, but I'm not sure."
"Was it Rexulti?" He asked, scratching his ear. It may have been my imagination, but he looked uncomfortable.
I blinked, the name ringing a bell. "Yeah. Yeah, I think so. How'd you know?"
Tiger shrugged, shifting in his seat. It was his turn to look away. "That's what I'm on. Figured I'd give it a guess."
The confession threw me for a loop, and I couldn't respond for a few seconds. That was…unexpected. And I never, ever thought I'd hear Tiger admit to something like that. "Oh."
He shifted again, coughing awkwardly. "Yeah. I—well, Lion and Bear were pestering me, since…you dumped a lot of shit last night, and I haven't really…you know. Done that, like them." He rubbed the back of his neck, looking completely out of his element. I would have laughed if I didn't think it would disturb the moment. "Elliot was…my friend in high school, my roommate in uni, then my unitmate. Losing him wasn't easy."
"Oh," I said again, quietly. That made…a lot of sense. "I'm sorry."
He shrugged, waving a hand. "Yeah. Anyways. I'll go find the doctor. You should consider taking them even though they suck for a while; I've adjusted. They're lowering my dosage every few months." He stood to go.
After a second, I nodded thoughtfully. "Um…thanks. For…telling me."
He grunted. "Yeah. Don't expect a bouquet of flowers or anything, but…yeah. We've got your back."
Without another word, he quickly left, and I let myself breathe a little laugh.
I'd been right. This wasn't so bad, after all.
…
Once visiting hours were back on, and all three of them could come in, I was a bit nervous the dynamic would be weird, but I needn't have worried. They were the same as always, talking and laughing about everything they could. Tiger seemed a little more comfortable, which was good, but he was tired. As far as I knew, he'd only dozed last night when he was with me.
Bear and Lion were happy that I was doing better, and Lion looked much more rested. Bear looked more alert, too, his hands having graduated from bandages to band-aids on the worst areas. I was grateful that they all continued to call me Jaguar, but the knowledge that they knew I was Alex was comforting, too.
I was asleep when they first came in, and I assumed Tiger told them what the doctor had said, though I couldn't be sure. I was grateful I didn't have to, and grateful they didn't mention it for a while.
"So," Lion said, tapping my shoulder with his foot, which was propped by my side. They had a habit of doing that, and it was getting bloody annoying. "This is probably a given, but did you dye your hair to help change your image? Because it's been killing us."
I blinked, not prepared for the quick turnaround. Well, that was expected, I supposed. If Hollis noticed, they probably did too. "Yeah. My natural hair is fair. It's the only thing I could…you know, easily change on a time crunch."
Lion nodded. "Makes sense. Yeah, it's fading, mate, you might want to re-dye it soon."
I touched it, pulling a strand down from my forehead to look at it. Yeah, it was more of a dark brown, now, instead of the black it'd been when I'd officially started the SAS. "That's what Hollis said. I suppose I'll pick some up before we go back to camp."
"Hollis mentioned it?" Tiger asked, eyes dark.
I paused, kicking myself. That was stupid, no need to rile them up anymore. "Um. Yeah, he mentioned it. Sorry, that was stupid. Guess I'm on more drugs than I thought."
"You don't have to apologize," Bear said with a smile. "We were just worried after everything, that's all."
Hesitantly, I nodded. "Right."
"Speaking of the antichrist," Lion said, readjusting his posture. "I went to Kiev for the debrief while you were still unconscious." Huh. That must've been why he was so tired for so long. That was seventeen hours both ways, easy. "They let me question him for a few minutes. I wanted to make sure that…that he hadn't done anything before we could get to you."
I swallowed as subtly as I could, looking up and away. Memories surfaced, and I did what I could to push them down, but I couldn't focus between the pain meds, the exhaustion, the uncertainty—it was usually so easy to choke flashbacks and panic attacks down until I could get alone, or work through it, but now…God, I hated thinking of my time in that basement. I'd tried to keep my mind off of it, but—his stupid cocky grin, his hand around my throat, his lips by my ear whispering Sabina's death, the sepsis killing me, his threats—
"Breathe, Jaguar, breathe," Bear's voice said quickly, his voice surprising me. At his words, I took a shuddering breath, coughing once. I realized I actually hadn't been breathing. His hand was tight on my shoulder, and he was glancing worriedly at the heart monitor. "There you go, mate, take it easy. It's alright."
"This happened before," Tiger said, sounding concerned. "When the doctor was talking to him."
"I'm…I'm okay," I said quickly, hand fisting the sheets as I closed my eyes, focusing on breathing. "I'm okay. It just…took me by surprise. It's usually easier to…to control everything…"
"You don't have to explain," Lion said quickly, looking worried. "I'm sorry. I should've warned you—that was stupid of me."
At that moment, a nurse came in hurriedly, glancing at the monitor. I supposed my heart rate had risen above the acceptable range, and she'd been alerted. "Je vsechno v poradku?" Well, I guessed no one had told her none of us spoke Czech. This would be fun.
After a beat of uneasy silence, only my heavy breaths audible, Tiger spoke. "Sprechen Sie Deutsch?"
The nurse blinked in recognition, responding in German, "Yes, I do. I'm sorry, I didn't know you didn't speak Czech." Oh. That made sense, I supposed, since the Czech Republic bordered Germany.
Tiger smiled amiably, which looked weird on him. "Thank you, it's okay. He was panicking a minute ago, but I think he's okay now."
"I came to give him something to calm down," she said, and I noticed belatedly the capped syringe in her hand as she moved towards my IV.
"No," I said quickly, recalibrating as she stopped. I wasn't fluent in German, but I knew a few words, and I'd translated enough to know she was trying to drug me up, and I wasn't having it. "Uh, nein. Nein, danke. Ich bin gut." (Uh, no. No, thank you. I'm good.)
She shook her head with a patient smile and continued towards my IV, uncapping the syringe. In German, she said, "It's alright, it's just going to calm you down. You can't be this worked up in your condition."
Before I could protest again, she was already depressing the plunger into the IV.
Well, shit.
For a few seconds, the heart monitor went crazy, a manifestation of my panic. Soon enough, though, the beeping slowed down, and I felt my coiled muscles relax on their own accord.
"Shit," I breathed, my filter gone. "Bloody hate hospitals…"
The nurse said something in German to Tiger, but I was too fuzzy to decode the words. Tiger nodded, and she left.
"Son of a bitch," I said, blinking my eyes rapidly. The world was blurring the slightest bit, hard edges becoming fuzzy and bleeding into each other. "Don't let her do that again."
Despite the worry in his eyes, Lion snorted, and Bear patted my shoulder with a guilty smile. "Sorry, mate. What the doctor says is what goes."
I scoffed, blinking again. God, these sucked.
"Anyways," Lion said, relaxing again. "I know you're a little loopy, but are you okay to continue?"
I blinked, squinting as I tried to recall what we were talking about. "Oh. About Hollis. What about him?"
Lion shifted, his eyes falling slightly. "He told me about…what he said to you, in the cellar. What he told you. I'm sorry, but I told Bear and Tiger, and…we're really sorry about your sister, Jaguar. We didn't know."
Sister…? Oh. Sabina.
With a heavy breath, I looked at the ceiling, hoping to sink into the sheets and through the floor and to keep sinking. "S'okay. You didn't know." Oh, he'd just said that.
He nodded, face pinched in concern. "Still. It feels like I violated your privacy, and I wanted to apologize."
I could only shrug, wondering what to say. "I mean…it's fine. I didn't…I didn't know it was him until he told me. It's not like I was dealing with it the whole time."
That seemed to make him feel a bit better, because he relaxed slightly. "Well, nevertheless, I'm sorry I found out without you being ready."
I gave him a thumbs-up, shifting uncomfortably. Bloody hell, it felt like I'd been vaulted into the matrix.
"Anyways, two more things, and then we'll let you sleep," Lion said, smirking. "Looks like you need it."
I flipped him off. "They gave me LSD. They must have. That's what it bloody well feels like."
Tiger snorted, and Bear laughed, patting my shoulder with a grin. "You're so small, mate, they probably overestimated the dosage. It's a bit funny to watch, though."
"Ugh, screw you," I said, rubbing my eyes.
"Okay. First thing," Lion said, trying not to laugh, "Sergeant's granted us three months leave until you're mission-ready. With that in mind, you're coming to our apartment to stay until we go back to Brecon Beacons. Elliot's old room is empty."
I blinked, suddenly feeling a lot more sober. "I can't take his room. That's—I'm not gonna do that."
Tiger nudged me with his foot, and I looked at him, squinting a little to get him in focus. "Ell's not the kind of guy who would want his room preserved forever, or some shit. He'd want it to be used. And we've all agreed and you can't get anywhere by yourself, so there's really no use in arguing."
"Yep," Bear nodded seriously. "We're kidnapping you."
"Assholes," was my immediate response, but I was really grateful for that. For them, and for them being willing to do so much for me. "Fine. Um…thank you."
"How gracious," Lion said with a raised eyebrow. "Second thing. Sergeant made an announcement while we were gone; I haven't told you guys either, so listen up." Bear and Tiger looked more attentive after that, intrigued. "Due to the spectacular cluster that was the threat assessment for this mission, and pressure from the brass for a few other things, Sergeant's elected to put two units together for missions from now on. He did it alphabetically, I think."
"So who are we with?" Bear asked, and I could see him mentally counting the letters in his head.
"A and B, C and D…that would be…" Tiger said, counting silently.
Oh. Son of a bitch.
"I suppose K-Unit."
"Oh, I've heard they're a pretty good unit," Bear said, grinning. "Eagle's a good bloke, too. I met him at the range."
"Yep. So, they're coming over one day when we're back and settled," Lion said, looking at me. "Sergeant gave them a month of leave so we could get acclimated to each other, so they'll be around a good bit, once you're a little stronger. They have an apartment not too far from ours."
I resisted the urge to laugh, shoving it down, instead turning my eyes to the ceiling. "Bloody brilliant."
Ignoring their looks of confusion and their questions, I closed my eyes.
I was well and thoroughly screwed.
A/N: HA. I did a thing. The moment we've allllllll been waiting for!
Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter! And…wow. Omg. The support and amazingly positive response I got last chapter was incredible. Thank you all SO MUCH for your amazing support and comments…they literally made me so incredibly happy, and I can never thank you enough for supporting me as much as you do! Real talk, I'm kind of an insecure writer, so your support is literally everything. Thank you all so very much!
Also, update: I think what I'm going to do is have all my content under this story, but like…divide it within this story. I have three stories planned, so…it's going to be *cough cough* very long. The story titles so far are There's No Place Like Home, Monsters (inspired by Monsters by Shinedown [give it a listen, it's really good!]) and Back from the Dead (which may change).
As always, to all those following and favoriting, you're AMAZING and I LOVE YOU. To all my reviewers (omg last chapter was amazing) I adore you all and can never repay you: Dani9513, Em0Wolf, sakshi06, Night Riders, Aimael, Asilrettor, Guest, ProcrastinationAndCoffee, Procrastination Is My Game, .Take, SlothChann, Axixa, LoveRider, britt299919, Eriethwen, Riderkitty, Guest, NeleWW, KittyBlack62632, Aism de Plume, Ichigo 1217, otterpineapple06, Autumnbreeze08, Bumbee, DymphiStiles, reginamare, Whisperponyx, Johanna, chelanfish1, and VINAI!
Em0Wolf: omg you're so sweet thank you! I'm so glad you think so and that you enjoyed the chapter!
Guest (I thought this chaoter was brilliant): Thank you so so much! Also, yeah I think that's what I'm going to do; thanks for the feedback!
Love Rider: Thank you! I'm so glad you thought so, because that was the main goal. Alex is a real person with a lot of trauma X'D
Guest (Gracias amigo): De nada! Gracias por leer y revisar!
Reginamare: Thank so much, I'm so glad you thought so! And OMG I KNOW they're my BABIES. Okay, thanks so much for the Hollis comment! I find a lot of villains in a lot of stories, not just fanfics, kind of unrealistic, so I tried to make him…evil and human, if that makes sense. Hahaha thank you so much for reading and commenting!
Reader: don't worry, lots more to come! ;)
Johanna: Vielen Dank! Okay, ich bin so froh, dass du dachtest, dass alles gut gelaufen ist! Ich WISST Löwe ist buchstäblich erstaunlich und Tiger ist ein großer Ball von Flaum. Ich weiß auch, was du über Tiger meinst, aber ich denke, er hat nur versucht, sich ein wenig mehr zu öffnen, da er sich wirklich um Alex kümmert, er ist einfach schlecht darin, es zu zeigen. Völlig verständlicher Kommentar, aber! XD. Wie auch immer, ich weiß, dass Bear der süßeste Junge ist. Vielen Dank für die wunderbare Bewertung!
Thanks so much for all your support, and next chapter I think will be the discharge and one more important topic (and if I have time, I may be the getting settled in the apartment, but we'll see). Thanks!
