Hey you guys, sorry for the long wait without updating, but I couldn't be bothered and was very busy.

So screw me.

No don't, you might have aids! Joking!

The usual disclaimer, dedication, and warnings!

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It had been a week since the breakup with Matt, and I hadn't eaten a goddamn thing; maybe a carrot here and there but I wasn't filled with any sort of hunger. The only hunger I felt was to cry, just to spill everything that I had left inside of me till I had nothing left to cry. My mind was in a complete emotional turmoil, each part of me battling on if I did or did not do the right thing.

I hadn't left the white confinements of my room; the white walls and white velvet carpet once furnished to look classy and elegant now only reminded me of my confusion. Like the walls of an insane asylum, filled with druggies and psychopaths, or people that were so lost within their thoughts the only sanctuary was the white wall. My white walls were no sanctuary they were constant depressants. Haunting my every toss and turn telling me I was stupid, that Richard was only going to hurt me, that Matt would have kept me safe, that I had left something to good to pure for my love.

Did I do the right thing?

No one had visited me during this week; I had only received text messages during the course of this week. Each one filled with, what's wrong, and when are you coming back to school, do you need help? And each text message just became a victim to the delete button. Richard had tried calling me three or four times, and each call was accepted by my answering message.

I was blaming everyone for my confusion, Richard, Rachel, Matt, Barbara, I even blamed Garfield. Richard for making me fall heels overhead and head over heels for him, then for being the sly cheating bastard that I have grown to hate and love. Rachel for being my best friend and being utterly blissful with Gar and without me, for not bothering to visit me in my state, although she would have no clue what's the matter seeing as I haven't told her. Matt for being so fucking sweet and hot, for being so understanding, for actually letting me walk away. Barbara for starting all this shit, if she hadn't come then I wouldn't have had this goodbye this confusion, all this heartache. And Gar, I don't really know just to basically blame everyone other than myself. Even though I know its no ones fault but my own, if I hadn't been so infatuated so stupid, maybe I wouldn't be laying here sulking!

"Almost" by Bowling for Soup started to play loudly from my phone. I have to remember to change Garfield's signature ring tone. My mind held another battle, pick up the phone and talk to someone, or ignore it and continue my despair?

"Hello?"

End my depression it is, this silence was killing me.

"KORI! Oh thank god woman, everyone is so worried, we have not heard from you and life has been dull!"

An 'Oy' was heard in the background.

"Everyone there with you?"

"Just Rachel and I."

"No Richard?"

"Uhm.. No."

Whispering and hushed male to female arguing was heard in the background, Gar wasn't a good liar, Richard was there, and I wasn't over my depression enough to face him.

"Liar, look I cant do this ok, I just cant, bye."

"WAIT! Kori talk to me, what did I do!"

I flipped my pink Motorola razor shut, the tiny snapping sound it made when it shut echoed of my walls. Silence, I was alone once again, it wasn't even a big deal, yet I was making it so huge, letting myself get ruled by overpowering emotions. Richard wanted to sort it out, but I couldn't, how stupid would I look telling him that I did not know what was wrong, that I was just confused.

I just couldn't.

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I must have fallen asleep for when I opened my large emerald lights I was greeted by the bright morning sunshine; how wonderful, nothing like the cheerful sunshine to make my confusion look worse. One of my dainty olive tanned hands found its way to the remote for my radio. With a delicate finger I pressed the white button emitting a short screeching noise then a monotone voice of the radio dj of KR 5.

Hello and good morning to all of you here in uptown Gotham City, and to wake all you sleeping lovers we have a special for all of you waking up next to someone special. Here is Mariah Carey with 'We Belong Together'

With a quick flick the radio was turned of just as quickly as it was turned on. Bloody love songs, I needed a good talk with the KR 5 radio dj to play something so love dove when the thought of how much I do love just wants to make me puke.

A soft knock on the large wooden door of my room interrupted me on my inward rant about love.

"Koriander, its me Xavier, may I request permission to come in?"

"Since when are you so polite? If you must come in, come in and make it quick."

The soft smell of coconut aftershave and the soft musky scent of Calvin Klein filled my scentless room. With large strides and a look of concern Xavier had made his way to my bed where I lay lifelessly staring up at him expectantly.

"What do you want?"

"I was worried."

"I don't care, I just want to be alone."

"No, I wont leave you alone, you smell like stale bread, and you've eaten nothing, and done nothing except sulk over spilt milk. How long has it been since you've showered?"

"I don't know, three or four days."

He wrinkled his soft tanned nose in slight disgust, bending down he carefully picked my protesting body and dumped me not to softly into a bathtub filled with warm water.

"Jeez, be careful that hurts, and the water burns, and you undressed me!"

"Stop being a baby, its not like I haven't seen you naked before, plus if your friends aren't going to come and save you from being so unhygienic then I might as well do so. "

I did not object the water felt wonderful, and yes my smell was beginning to suffocate me. His rough hands massaged my smooth and flawless skin of my back as he began to work one of his miracle messages. I had to bite back a moan, remembering that I wouldn't enjoy anything unless it was with Richard, even though I have done nothing but completely snub him. But his hands kept on working his feet now in the water and his hands working on my shoulders erasing all tension being held firmly in my muscles. I let out a sigh then a soft moan, as all my tension seemed to disappear into his hands of magic.

"Shush Kori, you just need taking care of, and no ones home for you."

I nodded my head in agreement; it was the truth my parents were always away on business meetings and spa treatments, her sister was god knows where doing god knows what, and her brother was a reckoned lawyer fighting for jail bail for some random drunk movie star. I was alone but I did not care I was safe within my haven of fame and friends; it was good enough for me. But after this week it hit me, without my friends if my reputation dropped, I would be truly, alone.

"I'm going to clean up your room, it's like a pig sty. You stay here and finish getting yourself cleaned up, I set your clothes on the counter."

I mumbled a thank you and sighed in content as he shut the door and I started to scrub every part of my body clean. It was like all my pain was being scrubbed away, like cakes of dirt being shed to reveal the flawless creature beneath. Suddenly I wanted to apologize; suddenly I wanted to make it up to my friends. And suddenly I had the greatest urge to get up and hug Xavier till he dropped from lack of oxygen; hes made me feel better than I had in weeks.

Slowly I made my way out of the tub pulling the plug and letting the water drain away with all my confusion. I felt refreshed like my soul had traveled into a new skin as I slipped on a fresh pair of white three quarter tights and a blue La Martina polo shirt. Brushing my red locks I sighed in content as they bounced with every stroke of my brush, they went straight then sprung back up into slight waves that many spent millions to achieve. With newfound confidence I opened the white wood door of my bathroom and walked into my fairly large bedroom. Ready to face Richard again, but definitely not ready to face what was waiting for me in my room.

Oh boy, not ready at all, for their all looking not so happy were Richard, Matt, and Xavier.

It felt like I was living in hours of silence just staring at three boys of my life in major shock. How the hell was this happening, were the probability of these odds even possible? My head already dizzy and I was feeling faint with nausea I started for my bathroom again, so I could go back into the shower and try to regain the feeling of being renewed.

"Don't you dare move Koriander, not until you explain everything."

"And no lies."

Richard and Matt looked at each other in agreement, probably shocked that they where thinking along the same lines. Two boys with completely different backgrounds yet here they where agreeing on something. Xavier looked at me in confusion, and I just shook my head signaling that I did not understand any of this either.

"Well…"

"Here Kori let me help you, I was waking over here to tell you that the band and I have decided to stay in Gotham for a while do a couple of club performances and a major shebang performance. Then I see Richie Rich running over here mumbling about you being depressive and on the verge of mere social suicide. Then he starts rambling on at me.."

"Not rambling, yelling."

Richards voice held a dangerous tone, but I was more worried for Richard, even though he was extremely fit and a jock Matt defiantly had more experience when it came to street fights.

"Well yes yelling at me that it was all my fault and that he thought you never were going to see me again."

"You fucking slept with him."

Richards final sentence let everything snap into place, so Richard had found out about Matt and my goodbye fuck.

"It was for goodbye."

My reply was soft and humble, not wanting to enrage an already enraged Richard Grayson.

"Im sorry."

Matt looked from me to Richard then to me again; slowly stepping forward he kissed me gently on the forehead.

"I guess you do love him, huh? All this time I thought you would come back to me, that we could work out. That Barbara Gordon and Richards little fuck session yesterday would make you realize you love me. But I understand."

I cried softly into his shoulder, until his words sank into me, just yesterday Richard was ready to apologize and because I didn't talk to him he went and fucked Babs.

"Is this true Richard?"

"Yes."

He looked shame faced on to the floor, it was true, at least he was honest, and much unlike I was. My head was now throbbing my brain not able to function properly.

"Look, I don't know what to do, im just so damn confused. And I can't go on doing this for the rest of my teenage life. I wanted senior year to be sensational but in the end it's just a big pile of shit. "

I ran out of my white walled mansion and towards the park located in a five-minute distance the exact same park where I used to play when I was a little girl. Flinging myself down into a marble bench I cried full-fledged tears; the tears that I had bee willing to never let out, but it didn't matter anymore.

"Kori."

The voice almost a whisper, I looked up into the blue eyes that haunted my sleep. He smiled down on me with a sad sort of smile, the one that held so many words and emotions that not even a dictionary could supply the needed vocabulary.

"I love you, and its nothing but the truth."

I was wrapped into his firm arms as his soft sweet lips soon covered my mouth. It was exactly what I needed he was whom I needed. Moaning I gently slid my tongue into his hot mouth and we then engaged in soft sweet rhythms of our tongues fighting for dominance.

"I love you to, I love you more than anyone will ever do."

But little did we know, we were watched by another pair of cerulean eyes, eyes that were now conveyed with pain; he was not going to turn up in the losing end.

And I couldn't help but to fear for Richard.

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Hope you liked it took me three hours to write up sorry I was very distracted. Anyway the one that kissed her was Richard and she's scared for him because matt is incredibly hurt and angry

Review please

Kisses,

Cheers