Optional Autor's Note: I had a really awesome question from a Guest about what music I thought about while writing this, so if you want one HELL of a feels trip, go re-read last chapter starting with the phone call to Tom while listening to "Burning House" by Cam. Feels trip guaranteed. Honestly.

ONWARD!

I woke up.

The realization alone was staggering. I wasn't—I wasn't supposed to wake up. That wasn't the plan. I'd planned to slip painlessly away by the water. I'd planned to just…fall asleep. To just fall asleep and wake up somewhere better, or at least—at least different. This wasn't—this wasn't supposed to happen.

Then the pain came.

I hurt. I hurt in a way I hadn't hurt in a long time, since before the sepsis. The infection had been a constant, fiery burn, but this was the throbbing ache of a bruise that had been aggravated far too much, the bone-deep pain that signified exhaustion as well as injury.

I took a shaky breath, turning my head and clenching the blanket over me with my left hand, trying and failing to stifle a sound of surprised pain. My right hand hurt, and felt tight. I wondered where I was. My leg and my side pounded, and my temples throbbed.

"Jag?"

A familiar voice.

No. No. They weren't—they weren't supposed to find me. It wasn't—I was supposed to—

"Bear, Lion," the voice called. "He's waking up."

No I wasn't. I was slipping away. Painlessly. That was the plan.

"Alex, come on," he said, and it was Tiger. He didn't sound angry anymore. He was supposed to be angry. Why wasn't he angry? "Come on, now. Don't make me apologize to a half-dead idiot. You'd complain it was too easy, and it didn't count."

He wasn't supposed to be worried, he was supposed to be angry, they—they were supposed to let me go. I wanted them to let me go.

That's what I said. That's what I said, but the utter relief flooding my veins was too palpable to ignore.

There was suddenly a hand on my forehead, big and warm and gentle. "Alex?" It was Lion. His voice was low and soft. It didn't sound like him, but it was comforting. "Come on. You're scaring us."

Resigned, hopeful despite myself, I let my heavy, sticky eyes blink open.

One of them was swollen, and only opened to a narrow slit, but I let the other one roam. I blinked quickly, trying to clear the fluorescent spots from my eyes.

Heavy rays of late morning beat in through the drawn shades, reflecting off the glass table in the center of the room. I was lying on the sofa on a blanket—I supposed so I didn't bleed all over their furniture—and there was another blanket wrapped around me. I wasn't wearing a shirt, but my chest was wrapped in several bandages, gauze wound tight around the wound on my side. I felt heat flame in my face as I realized I wasn't wearing trousers, either, but someone had been merciful and left my boxers on. I supposed they had to get to the bullet wound, and my modesty wasn't the main issue. A cold cloth was draped over my neck, I supposed to help with the swelling.

I glanced up, and saw an IV drip improvised on a tall shelf from one of their rooms, fluids dripping into my elbow. I wondered if they'd had it on hand. Knowing how frenetic Bear was about his unit's health, I'd guess they had.

And they were here. They were here.

Bear was leaning worriedly over the back of the sofa, his fingers around my left wrist as he checked my pulse. Tiger was in the armchair, leaning forward, his face uncharacteristically blank. There was no trace of anger. Just…blank. His face was a sickly pale. And Lion was kneeling beside my head, his hand on my forehead, looking worried. Scared. As scared as when he ran a hand through his nephew's hair after his abusive father approached him.

"Hey, kid," he said softly. A small, brittle smile was on his face, his eyes narrowed in worry, but he looked so, so relieved.

My eyes filled with tears, and I was so sick of crying, because I'd done so much of it, but I was—I was frustrated. And scared, and…and relieved, even though I shouldn't have been, but I was.

I blinked most of them back, but from my swollen eye, they just kind of…seeped, unbidden.

"How do you feel?" Bear asked after a few seconds.

I breathed, my throat aching, and rasped, "Bad." Bad in my body and my heart and my mind and my soul.

Bear nodded, his eyes grim, and darker than normal. "I bet. Shall I list it, then?"

Bear sounded mad. The kind of mad Jack got when the Bank called. Mad at me out of worry and frustration.

I didn't say anything, just blinked, and Bear took it as a confirmation.

"Through and through to your right thigh, which barely missed your bloody femoral artery," he said stiffly, his voice unusually toneless. "From what I can tell, sprained ankle, bruised hip. Cracked ribs, a veritable stab wound on your left side, and a dozen little nicks all over you. Fractured nose, mild concussion judging by your pupils, swollen windpipe. Fractured knuckles, sprained wrist, and enough bruises to turn you into abstract art. You're beat to hell. You're lucky Tiger's the same blood type. We had to give you two units."

I blinked at the popcorn ceiling, trying to ignore the hovering faces and the tight words and the fact that I was still alive.

"What were you thinking?" Lion finally asked, his voice tense in restrained anger and blatant concern.

I swallowed, and winced, and blinked. "They s-sent…an assassin. I had t-to…" I coughed, shutting my eyes in pain. "I had t-to…make sure he d-didn't…didn't come here."

"Does this have anything to do with the body found by Cookham Bridge this morning? That just happened to be one of Interpol's Most Wanted?" Tiger asked. His face was still blank. I supposed he was so pale because he was running low on blood. I felt distantly bad. And grateful.

I nodded, sucking in an exhausted breath. "M'sorry. I d-didn't…d-didn't want to…kill him. I was worried h-he'd…hurt you."

"Don't apologize," Bear snapped, sounding less mad, but still frustrated. "God. Don't—don't ever apologize for defending yourself, or us, even though we could've helped." He sounded pointedly upset.

"What happened next?" Lion asked.

I swallowed again. I wanted nothing more than to sleep. "I-I…called T-Tom. My f-friend." I smiled at the memory. "I wanted t-to…talk to him." One more time. It went unsaid, but the implication was there.

I wondered if he was angry. I wondered if he'd come, even though he couldn't find me. It seemed like the sort of reckless decision he'd make out of fear and in the moment. I could almost see him, disembarking from the plane on a mission, blue eyes steely in determination, only to wander the streets of Cookham aimlessly. It was enough to make me smile.

"And then?" Tiger prompted.

I swallowed one more time, tears flooding my eyes again, seeping out despite myself. I didn't want to say it. "I wanted…t-to leave."

"You left your bag," Lion said quietly.

I closed my eyes. "Different k-kind…of leave."

They didn't say anything for a long moment. I supposed they were expecting it. My note hadn't been…subtle, I guess, and me leaving the bag was note enough.

Someone got up and stiffly left the room without a word, and I heard the soft closing of a door. I thought it was Tiger. It sounded like his heavy footsteps, but they were uncertain, and disjointed.

"I'm s…sorry," I said quietly, in pain and upset and defeated.

"We're just glad you're okay," Lion said, hand still warm and firm on my forehead. I couldn't look at him. I couldn't stand the disappointment right now. Not…not after everything. "Just…just rest, alright? We're not going anywhere for a while. We'll talk when you feel a little better."

I let myself relax at his words, the need to sleep overpowering my need to—to understand. To understand why I didn't die. Why, after everything, the most morbid irony had come to pass, and I'd been unable to kill myself because I was too badly injured. I almost laughed. (1)

I felt myself fading, knowing that it was into sleep instead of eternity, and despite my failure, I felt a twisted kind of satisfaction. While I wanted nothing more than to rest…I was still alive. Despite SCORPIA's best efforts, I was still here, and L-Unit hadn't abandoned me, even though I'd done it first.

It wasn't enough, but it was something.

The next time I woke, I felt marginally better.

I supposed it must have been the fluids. I could tell I hadn't slept for long—softer rays of early evening were slanting through the drawn curtains. Lion was sat in the armchair, flipping through a magazine. His eyes were unfocused, and distant.

I didn't see Bear or Tiger. I wondered where they were. I blinked at the ceiling, the pain having ebbed considerably. Perhaps they'd given me something in the IV. It felt nice.

I wondered distantly how things would go from now on. If they'd force me to take leave until I was better, physically and emotionally. If they'd walk on eggshells around me for the duration on my time here. If…if things would be different. I wondered if I should tell them the rest of it, now. My age, MI6, K-Unit, my uncle, my family…I wondered how much lower I could possibly sink.

I smiled bitterly, exhaling slowly. Who knew? I didn't want to tempt fate, but the lies were becoming unbearable.

"Hi," I rasped quietly. I'd think about it later.

Lion flinched, glancing at me quickly. He closed the magazine and tossed it onto the table, leaning forward. "Hey."

I blinked thickly, still heavy with sleep, and breathed. It was a thin wheeze; my throat was still tight, but it felt a lot better than the first time I'd woken up. My ribs ached, my side stung.

"Feeling any better?" He asked, scooting forward a little.

I started to shrug, then thought better of it, and nodded. "A little."

He nodded. "Good. Bear gave you some of the good stuff. Nothing too loopy, though. He knew you didn't like it."

I smiled a little to myself. Of course he remembered. Mad as he was, he still remembered.

"Where…?" I started.

"Where are he and Tiger?" Lion guessed, and I nodded. "Tiger's sleeping. He's always been a little anemic, and two pints really took it out of him. He's fine, we gave him some juice and some sweets, but he's still kind of tired. Oi," he said as I felt guilt bleed onto my face. "Don't do that. He was just glad he could do something to help."

Hesitantly, I nodded. I'd need to thank Tiger later.

"Bear's out procuring some pharmaceutical antibiotics and a couple oxygen tanks," Lion said with a reluctant smile. "He's got scary connections, I tell you. He was worried about your immune system after the sepsis, and you've been wheezing a lot."

I managed a half smile, glad that Bear was still…alright with me. A familiar pull told me my lip was split. I supposed Bear had stitched it up.

I blinked at the ceiling again, feeling heavy.

"How did—" I coughed once, my face twisting in pain as my ribs shouted in protest, taking a stuttered breath to recover. "How did…you know…?"

"Where to find you?" He finished, his face becoming carefully blank as he looked away.

I nodded.

Lion shrugged, quiet for a long minute, and said, "I…remembered. You said when you had…when you had really, really bad days, you went to the nearest bridge." He glanced back at me, pain clouding his blue eyes as memories resurfaced, and I understood. "I took the gamble, and we drove like hell. We didn't know you were gone for…for a while. I thought you were sleeping, or resting, or…"

He scrubbed a hand over his face, looking tired. Looking worn. "I'm so sorry. I should've known not to leave you alone. I should've—" He broke off, his voice much more uncertain than the Lion I'd come to know.

"Lion," I said quickly, my brows furrowing even as my face flared in pain at the movements. I reached out my left hand, my body aching, and tugged at his wrist. Finally, he took his hands away from his face, and looked at me. His eyes were dark with shadows of the possibilities filling his head. I knew the feeling. I took a thin breath, continuing, "It was my decision. You…you're n-not to blame. You d-didn't make me like…like this." I breathed again, trying not to feel the pain, trying to make him understand. "If not…f-for you, and Bear and Tiger…it would have h-happened a long time ago."

He shook his head, and let me continue holding his wrist. "But I knew, Jag. I knew on that bridge, when you told me about…about your system. I knew, even if you didn't say it. And even with how upset you were, I still let you be alone. I'm so, so sorry."

"Don't," I said finally, blinking rapidly. "Don't. Please. I…I d-don't want you to be s-sorry. It was my f-fault…"

He took a deep breath, still looking unsure, and guilty as hell, but he looked at me. His eyes were still guilty, but hard again. "I'll stop feeling guilty if you promise to never, ever put me through that again. I can't—not after Elliot, and not after—after getting to know you, after opening up to you, trying to help you…please, Alex. You're a lot more important to us than that. You can't just…you can't just disappear. Alright?"

I blinked, turning away from him, but I didn't let go of his wrist. Not yet. It was grounding me, even though my fingers were trembling. I wondered if he noticed. "…I can try," I conceded. While I was reluctantly glad to be alive, despite everything…the pain was still very deep, and raw, and open, and it ached.

"I just…I'm t-tired, Lion," I admitted finally, blinking at the blurred ceiling and letting my eyes close, letting myself finally…feel. Finally experience the pain I'd buried so deep, and it hurt. It—it burned so badly I felt the physical pain in my head, in my heart. "I'm so fucking tired."

It was a bone-deep weariness that filled each orifice and bone and tendon with lead, a planet attached to each limb, millions of lives strapped to each shoulder. It was like dragging myself through molasses under that weight every day, only to be expected to run when people chased after me.

I'd been waiting so, so long to rid myself of the weight, and I couldn't even do that.

Lion didn't say anything. There wasn't anything he could say to make this better, and he knew that. I knew that. My fingers shook as they clenched his wrist. He just put a strong hand on my forehead and sat beside me, letting me know that he was there.

And despite everything I'd done to make that irrelevant, to make it a lie, he was there. And Tiger and Bear were there. And maybe even Tom was there.

I'd tried so hard to be alone, even though I was so tired of it, because I knew it would only be worse when I had to let them go.

It looked like it wasn't up to me anymore.

"I'm sorry, Alex," he breathed, and I felt my chest start to heave, buried sobs revolting and finally worming their way into the open. It hurt. It burned. It wasn't just my ribs and side. "I'm so sorry. We're going to fix it, I promise. We'll find a way."

"I just wanted to rest, I just want it t-to…to stop…"

Lion didn't say anything for a long minute, just held my unbroken hand and kept a hand on my head as I cried, as I crumbled, as I fell apart in front of him, finally just…letting go. I let the thread snap, and months and months and years of solitude and terror and pain finally came crashing out in a staggering tidal wave.

And Lion sat beside me as I drowned in it, quiet and unmoving.

"I don't know what's happened," he finally said, his voice thin and brittle. "I dunno everything, Alex. I don't. I know I don't. But I promise, when you're ready to tell us everything…we'll listen, and it'll be okay, and we'll handle it. I promise. So please promise me you're going to give us that chance."

"What if…" I swallowed, my hand shaking as he gripped it, and I felt so bad as I tried to steal strength from him. Tears streaked down my bruised, swollen face, and it ached, like everything else. "What if I lied…about something? Really important? That…that could get you in…a lot of trouble?"

Lion didn't falter the slightest bit. What was it like to have that kind of confidence? In yourself, in the people who loved you and who you loved? I wondered. "Then we'll handle it."

I blinked at the ceiling again, my body aching, my heart pulsating with acute pain. After the crying, my lungs shuddering, it was hard to breathe. "It won't…it won't be that easy."

"Never said it had to be," he said, a small, easy half-smile on his lips. He hesitated, then said, quietly, "You didn't believe Tiger, in the hospital. When he called you our brother. When he called you the…the youngest of the family."

I didn't correct him, just waited for him to continue. I took another thin, rattling breath.

"It was premature, and Tiger knew that," he said thoughtfully. "He admitted that to me and Bear later. He was afraid he'd scared you off, and we knew it couldn't really be that way just yet. But…that's not the case anymore, Alex. It's really not. It's alright if you don't consider us family just yet. I know that's hard for you, and we understand that. Just know that…even if we're not yours, you're ours. Blood means absolutely nothing to us, and no matter what you've done, who you were…we know you as Alex, as Jaguar, as Matthew, whoever you want to be, and we accept you.

"I don't care who tries to take you from us," Lion continued, quiet and strong and final. Ice in his tone and iron in his posture painted the picture of an unmovable force of tempered steel, and I selfishly wished for that shield, and for some reason, it was being given to me for free. "I don't care if it's a terrorist organization, or…or somebody else from your past, or even you. I told you, you're not going anywhere without a fight."

His hand was tight around mine, and this time, I couldn't tell which of us was shaking.

"You won't—" I swallowed, choking on the words, coughing once, but I had to get them out. "You won't…leave me."

I couldn't ask the question, but I could let him confirm the tentative statement.

He smiled. "No. No, we won't leave you."

I looked away from him, up at the swaying ceiling, and cried.

For the first time in…in a long time, in years, it felt good to cry.

Tiger came out of his room maybe half an hour later, looking a little better.

"Thanks," I said with a smile as he took Lion's seat beside me. Lion said he was going to put something on for dinner.

Tiger shrugged, still pale, but with a little more color. "Least I could do." His hands were busy. "I shouldn't have yelled. I know that's not what you needed."

I shrugged one shoulder, wincing, and exhaled slowly. "S'alright. I…I know it…was a stupid thing to do."

"Still. I was an arse. So…yeah."

I smiled a little, unable to laugh, and said, "You're allergic to…the s-word, aren't you?"

He laughed, and it was good-natured, and a little relieved. "Only with you, half-pint."

And then it was forgiven.

I still ached. I still hurt. But it was…it was manageable. There was finally a balm of companionship and—and family that I could accept to ease the burning loneliness, and…and it made the hurt just a little easier to carry.

Someone knocked on the door.

I flinched, and hissed in pain, but Tiger must have seen the terrified expression on my face. "It's alright. It's probably Bear. You know how often he forgets his key."

Okay. Okay, the explanation made sense. I was overreacting an assassin probably wouldn't…wouldn't knock. And if it was an MI6 grunt, they wouldn't let him in. It was okay. "Just…just check," I said pleadingly.

"I will," Tiger said, lightly patting my shoulder before going to answer the door. I stayed rigid on the sofa, my injuries aching as my muscles tensed, and listened. Lion had come out of the kitchen at the knock, and was standing in the foyer. He shot me a reassuring smile.

Tiger looked through the peephole, cursed brilliantly, and opened the door.

"Oh, shit," I heard Lion breathe before he swept forward, replacing Tiger at the door. I couldn't see who it was, and Lion was talking quietly, and I couldn't—

Had I missed someone? Had someone else come to finish the job?

It hurt like a son of a bitch, but I grabbed the back of the sofa and levered myself up. My entire core and arms were absolutely trembling, and it hurt, but if it was—if it was another assassin, someone come for me, I couldn't—I couldn't let them get hurt—

"No, Jag, stay down, everything's fine—" Tiger said, coming around to the back of the sofa and trying to push me down.

Too late. Panting, wheezing, I leaned heavily against the back of the sofa and Tiger's hand, and looked at the door.

The thin breath stopped in my lungs.

Four pairs of eyes turned to my beaten, pathetic form, and I froze.

"Fucking brilliant," I managed, closing my eyes at the utter absurdity.

"Alex?"

Fox's voice was one of utter shock, like he couldn't believe I was really in front of him. From the brief looks I'd caught of the others, Wolf's eyes were blown wide, and Eagle and Snake just looked surprised. I supposed more because of my physical state than who I was.

The moment of disbelieving silence shattered, and Fox tried to come to my side with heavy, frantic, angry footfalls. The way his face darkened made me flinch, and I know Tiger felt it, because his hands tightened.

Lion must've seen it, too, because he was quick to put himself in Fox's path. "You need to back up," he said, his voice dangerously low, hand planted on Fox's chest.

Fox's eyes darkened even more. "You don't know the situation. I know him."

"I don't care if you know him. You don't go anywhere near him unless he says it's okay."

"Just—just hang on a bloody minute," Wolf said, pushing past Eagle and into the flat. Tiger left to intercept, and without his support, I sank quickly back down onto the sofa, wheezing. It was really, really hard to breathe now, and I wondered when Bear would be back with that oxygen tank.

"Cub? Is that—Cub?"

Yep, I thought bitterly. It's Cub.

"Can we just—just all calm down a minute," Snake said, his Scottish voice slow in confusion. "I don' know wha's goin' on, but there's an explanation, so how about we all just…listen to it?"

Snake was just as level-headed as I remembered, and it sounded like just what was needed.

"Told you it would be interesting," I heard Eagle mutter among several shuffling footsteps.

I couldn't see the reactions, as I stared dizzily at the ceiling and tried to take deeper breaths, but I didn't hear any further altercations.

"Jag, y'alright?" Lion asked, leaning over the back of the sofa. His eyes were worried.

I glanced at him, my chest throbbing. "Hurts to…to breathe."

Lion's eyes narrowed, and he sighed. "I'll call Bear and get an ETA. Just…just take slow breaths, alright?"

I nodded, wheezing.

"C-can…" I coughed, wincing, and continued, "C-can I…talk to Fox and Wolf? A…alone?"

Lion's eyes narrowed, and it was completely obvious that he was less than pleased with the suggestion. "I dunno, Jag…I can make them leave…"

"Please?"

He sighed through his nose, sending a dubious glance in Fox's direction. "Fine. Just yell if you need us."

I nodded, and tried to smile, but it was more of a grimace.

I could tell Tiger wasn't happy about being relegated to the kitchen, but Lion dragged him and Snake and Eagle away anyways, and Tiger said something about coffee with a good bit of brandy. I had to smile. Fox came to sit in the armchair at my head, leaving Wolf awkwardly at my feet, over which he made his annoyance clear.

"What the hell, Cub," Wolf started up, his face absolutely black in anger and confusion.

I took an audible breath. "Fancy meeting…you here."

His eyes narrowed. "I'd smack you if you weren't already beat to hell."

I smirked a little, but it didn't hold for long. The words reminded me of Lion, in the hospital after Hollis.

"I have so many questions I don't even know which one to start with," Fox admitted, eyes narrowed, "but 'what the hell' is a good one."

I nodded, my chest tight in pain and panic. This was—this was such uncharted territory I couldn't even begin to fathom the consequences. I couldn't even begin to understand my position, or what I was supposed to do. I never thought I'd be in the same room with Wolf again—or Fox, for that matter—and definitely not at the same time while my new unit was just a few meters away.

When I'd learned that K-Unit would be coming, I'd run through dozens of scenarios. I'd wondered what it would take to get Wolf to keep his mouth shut, I wondered if I could go to the Sergeant and request a different unit (that wasn't likely, but it was a fleeting thought)…and I hadn't reached a decision yet. I wasn't ready. I wasn't…I wasn't ready. Everything had come crashing down yesterday, and the fortifications I'd built were shattered, and…and I couldn't deal with this right now.

But I didn't have a choice, so I'd have to think of something fast.

"Give…give me a…a minute," I said quietly, trying to settle my heart.

"Who did this?" Fox asked quietly, eyes trailing my battered form. I'd pulled the blanket up to cover most of the bandages and the bullet wound, but it was still painfully obvious how injured I was.

"…doesn't matter now," I said honestly, blinking at the ceiling.

"Oh, because that answers the question," Wolf griped, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Look, just—just—what the hell are you doing in the SAS? I thought you were with M—"

"Stop," I pleaded, hissing in pain as my body lurched in response to the aborted statement, groaning as I laid back. "Ah, shit…"

I took another breath, and said, "Look, just…assume th-they don't know…know anything. Please."

I looked pointedly at Fox, because he knew more, and he pursed his lips. "Alex—"

"If you want us to do a damned thing for you, you better start answering my bloody questions," Wolf said. "Who…who did all this?"

I blinked heavily, thinking as quickly as my sluggish mind allowed. "Um…muggers."

Wolf blinked. "Do not test me right now."

"Hang on, hang on," Fox said, glancing at his friend. "Alex—Ja—whatever. Can you just…tell us what you wanted to talk to us about?"

God bless Fox. He was always a lot more level-headed. "I don't want—want them to know. N-not yet. I'm not…not ready."

"Wha—about what? About…" Wolf started, thankfully having enough tact to stop the statement. He glanced at the kitchen, then back at me, and mouthed, "MI6?"

I nodded. "Not yet. N-not yet. Please."

Fear was squirming in my gut like a nest of snakes, adding to the already-present nausea from the pain. If they—if now, of all times, somebody let something slip…

"We'll keep our mouths shut if you explain what's going on," Fox assured, sending Wolf a dark glance when the man protested. "Wolf, seriously, please try to compromise for once in your life."

I had to smirk as Wolf's face reddened, and he muttered a curse under his breath.

"I…" I took a shaky breath. "A lot…a lot h-happened. After Point Blanc, after…after Major Yu. I c-can't…explain it all, but…it was bad," I admitted, blinking at the ceiling. "MI6 let me…me go." Well, that was true. The only problem now was they wanted me back. "Others…d-didn't. Some other things happened, and…now I'm…hiding. F-from them."

Well. Not the best lie I'd ever told, but not the worst, either. Mostly truth. I could only hope they'd believe it.

I glanced at them apprehensively. Wolf's eyes were narrow. "And how's that working for you?" He asked with a pointed glance at my form.

I huffed a stuttered, bitter laugh. "N-not…great."

He rubbed a hand down his face, eyes closed. "Damn kid. You get yourself into situations that I'm not sure should bloody exist to begin with."

I gave him a half-smile. He was just as gruff as I remembered, but I was glad our progress after Point Blanc was holding. "It's a…a habit."

I glanced at Fox, whose eyes were much more suspicious, and swallowed. "C-could I…talk to Fox?"

Wolf sent me a dubious glance, but rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine. Have your Bond meeting. I'm gonna go see about that brandy and try to make nice with your guard dogs."

I smiled, watching him walk around the sofa and into the kitchen. He'd grown up. Two years as an SAS leader had obviously suited him well.

I said as much to Fox, and he smiled. "Yeah, he's a lot more mature than when you were with us. Still has a hell of a temper, though. You should've seen him arguing with the hostage negotiator on our last mission. I thought we'd have to step in for them before taking care of the actual mission."

I hummed in acknowledgement, closing my eyes briefly. I was exhausted.

"We can do this later, if you need to rest," he said hesitantly.

I shook my head, my throat aching at the motion. "No, I'm…okay." I blinked my eyes open again. I was really getting to know this ceiling. "Thought you were…seconded to…ya know."

Fox smirked, but his eyes were still worried. "I requested to be transferred back to the SAS full-time. I didn't like how they treated some of their agents," he said pointedly, and I breathed a little laugh. "Luckily they hadn't found a permanent replacement for me yet, so I ended up back with K-Unit."

I nodded. "How're…Eagle and Snake?"

Fox smiled, glancing at the kitchen. "Snake's still Snake. Real quiet unless he's talking to someone even quieter. Peacemaker. Good bloke. Eagle's…a handful. Damn good soldier, and an even better friend, but he's pretty immature. I forget he's older than me sometimes."

I smirked. I hadn't interacted much with Snake or Eagle during training—or Fox, for that matter—but I remembered them as being bland, almost. Very gray. I supposed because I had bigger problems to deal with.

"How's your unit?" Fox asked hesitantly, like he wasn't sure whether or not he should broach the topic.

I smiled, closing my eyes. "Amazing. They're…they're really awesome."

Fox smiled, too. "I'm glad."

I shifted, hissing in pain. "Could I…talk to Lion? And Tiger?"

Fox looked unhappy about that. "I still have some things to ask you."

"M'tired," I admitted, blinking heavily.

Fox sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Fine. Just…I'll tell Eagle and Snake…what, that I saw you around? We got talking?"

I smirked a little. "I trust your…your judgment."

"And I assume you don't want…them to know your whereabouts," he said pointedly, "or your unit to know…some of your personal information." My birthdate.

I nodded, feeling desperation leak into my eyes. "Please."

He sighed. "Well, I'm officially not employed by the bank bastards anymore, so I have no loyalty to them," he conceded. "And…the other thing…it's your business, Alex, but I think you should tell them sooner rather than later. It…it bothered me, to say the least, when I found out."

I felt my face crinkle in buried fear, but nodded, anyways. "I'll…think about it."

He huffed a laugh, putting his hand on my shoulder for a brief second, and paused. After a second of internal struggle, he said quietly, "I wondered…what happened to you. After." He looked away, scratched his nose, and continued, "I'm glad you're…out of that. And with good people."

I smiled. "Thanks," I whispered.

He nodded, his face suspiciously red, and wandered to the kitchen.

I closed my eyes. Damn SAS guys were really bad at showing emotion.

For how badly that could have gone…I thought it went surprisingly well. I was glad. After all the shit I'd been through lately, I was glad to catch the break.

"You okay?" I heard Lion ask as he and Tiger wandered in. I opened my eyes. Tiger was holding a suspiciously large mug of coffee.

"Mm-hm," I affirmed, taking a shallow breath.

"I'm so, so sorry, Jag," Lion said, eyes pinched in guilt and worry. "I invited them for dinner on the way back from the airport. I was going to tell you as soon as we got home, but then—then you had the letter, and then you disappeared. And…yeah. It completely slipped my mind, I was so worried about you."

Ah. Well, that was shitty timing, but I understood. I wouldn't have remembered my dinner plans either if someone had been bleeding out on my sofa.

"It's okay," I assured with a shadow of a smile, wincing. "What did…they say?"

Lion glanced at the kitchen, lips pursed. "Eagle and Snake didn't seem to know much, only that Wolf called you Cub, and…and you trained with them? For two weeks?"

"S'that why you were so freaked out when Lion mentioned them?" Tiger asked. He was still pale, but looking a little better.

I nodded. "I-I…I worked with…with Wolf and Fox, separately. After…after being Cub." I shrugged one shoulder. "I didn't…I didn't want to…" I struggled to continue, frustrated.

"Take your time," Lion said. "Really. It's alright."

I closed my eyes, trying to slow down. "Wolf knows some, and…Fox knows a lot. Things you…don't know yet. But…you know things that…that they don't know, either. And…putting them together could…" I shuddered, my wounds aching. "Could be…awful."

"Okay," Tiger said, sipping his coffee. "Don't put them together. Sounds easy."

"I'm sorry," I whispered, feeling so guilty, but they couldn't find out about MI6 or my age or my past just yet. Not…not so soon after SCORPIA.

"We've been over this. Don't apologize for stupid things," Tiger said.

"You've had a long couple days," Lion said with a faint smile. "We'd be monsters to ask you to explain anymore now."

I smiled. I opened my mouth to respond, too, but Eagle's shout drowned me out. "Oi, did one of you put something on the stove?"

Lion's face drained of color. "Shit."

He leapt up and ran to the kitchen, and I after a few seconds of intelligible chatter and some shouted orders, I heard a fire extinguisher.

Tiger looked done. "There goes the bloody security deposit," he muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I swear."

I grinned, my lip stinging, but the rest of my aches and pains easing as little as I listened to the chatter. At that moment, I heard a key turn in the door, and I heard Bear stumble in, sounding laden with medical paraphernalia.

"Could I get some help here?" He asked, the door banging softly against the wall. "Seriously, I just went to four places to find the bloody—what the hell—"

With Tiger's help, I sat up enough to catch his dumbfounded expression as he caught sight of the four strangers in his kitchen, Lion's disheartened expression as he gripped the empty fire extinguisher, and the foam covering their stove and what might have been soup.

Bear blinked, glancing at me, and then Tiger. "Well…what'd I miss?"

Despite everything, despite the pain I was in and the leftover panic still clogging my lungs, the uncertainty of the future, the memory of what I'd almost done and what it had almost cost…it felt good to laugh.

A/N: (1): Got this line from a reviewer on AO3! It was too awesome not to use :)

I fixed it! Kind of. Recovery isn't that quick, of course. There will be more. But we're on our way :)

K-UNIT! My babies! I hope I did them justice! Don't worry, we'll see a lot more of them later, I just didn't want to get too deep into it the same chapter I introduced them. Hope you liked it :) let me know!

YOU GUYS. The reviews from last chapter were AMAZING. You're all so encouraging and thoughtful and wonderful. I love you: Padfoot's Marauder, Rider kitty, Guest, fa6imah.2000, Kosta1, agent potter, hunterjk123, AlexRiderFan, Dobby and Padfoot, Weirdo, otterpineapple06, Guest, Ichigo1217, Guest, Guest, Beebotwriter, Night Riders, ClarenzaK, Guest, Guest, Em0Wolf, Fangirl all da way, Charlie, reginamare, Dani9513, Guest, Guest, Eriethwen, Guest, Guest, chelanfish1, Guest, Guest, Guest, Guest, and Guest!

Guest (aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAhhhhhhh): Hahaha thank you!

AlexRiderFan (18): Ahhhh thanks! I know Jonah is a CUTIE. Thank YOU!

AlexRiderFan (20): Omg thank you I'm crying T~T. Um…that was so sweet. Thank you for saying that. I really, really appreciated it. You too hon :)

Weirdo (combined): Ok thanks, I'm glad you think so XD Thank you for saying that :) Hahaha yeah Tiger's a hothead but he's a good guy. Hehehe I hope it went well for you in this chapter! Thanks, and you keep being your awesome self, as well :)

Guest (This is soooo good!): Thanks!

Guest (Please don't leave us on a cliffhanger)…: Lol hope this wasn't too long a wait!

Guest (I don't even know what to write…): Hahaha thanks so much! Hope you enjoyed!

Guest (This chapter is just soo….good.): Thanks so much! Of course :) Thank you so much for saying so!

Guest (Please update soon…): Hahaha hope you liked it!

Em0Wolf: Omg thank you! Yeah K-Unit's getting thrown in head first XD Thanks for mentioning the note :)

Charlie: Ahhh thanks so much! Glad you liked it, and I hope you liked this one!

Reginamare: Hahaha I'm glad, thanks! Lol I hope you liked this chapter, thanks!

Guest (this chapter really hit me where it hurts): Thank you so much for sharing that, and I hope this was cathartic for you. If you ever need to talk, I'd love to PM you if you make an account. You're not alone :)

Guest (Awesome job!): Thanks! Not quiet sorry XD

Guest (What kind of music do you think of writing this story?): That…is an excellent question. Thanks so much for asking that. I'm going to be thinking about that. For now, I think a good song for the last chapter would be Burning House, by Cam. I'm gonna make a note up top! Thanks!

Guest (Can I just say that your writing is phenomenal): Omg thank you! That's so sweet!

Guest (Oh my God! This is written so well…): Thank you! And hahaha yeah, hope this was fast enough!

Guest (amazing): Thank you!

Guest (Awesome. But how DOES Alex have a picture of Yassen?): He found it in his dad's stuff! Thanks for asking! Maybe kind of unrealistic, but considering how close Yassen and John were, I figured he'd have kept SOMETHING.

Guest (Please update soon, I can't focus)…: hahaha hope this helps! Thanks!

Guest (Please update soon!): Here you go! Thanks!

Thanks so much for your continued, awesome support, and I hope you liked it :)