Pleh. Writing Chapter 11 is hard work.
I watched too many Chinese Kung-fu movies and played too much Soul Calibur 3 (as reputedly hated as it is). I keep thinking too much of those acrobatics. Argh.
Seriously. Somebody slap some sense into those retarded 12-year-old fangirls plaguing this place. Everyday I see a NEW dumb story about stupid fangirls moving through time and space to "land in the Naruto world" (It's almost always the same phrase!) hook up with Naruto or other male. Ugh. A NEW one every day! And they can't even review properly!
You could write the shortest stupidest drivel, and they'd still say "Hey! I love your story, hope you update soon!"
Seriously! Look at it yourself! The same exact phrase for every single story, regardless!
Tch, nevermind. I should have expected this when I arrived here.
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Princess: Devil Trigger-
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It had been a few days since their sort-of failed job. "Sort of", because the three samurai still had been paid on the night of the party. Still, it sucked to lose since the whole honor thing called for you to stab yourself in the stomach, if one could recall correctly.
Even the normally vengeful bandits that hired the samurai had not yet returned from the Genjutsu attack, leaving Naruto, Haku, and Tetsuya free reign of what was left of the old temple.
So, by the end of the last of days that could be now finally called "a few", Tetsuya was sitting on the burned out porch, head on arm on pulled up knee, bored out of his head. Out in the clearing, by the light of the falling red sun was Haku and Naruto, hard at practice as always trying to prove each other's superiority.
Tetsuya decided it was enough when he saw the two of them try to do one of those idiotic simultaneous attacks to see who would hit first. It was obvious Haku would hit first, but Naruto's sword would probably have enough force and weight to cleave halfway through the girl.
"Alright, ya two. That's enough."
The two swords stopped above both apprentice's shoulders.
"Get over here." Tetsuya yowled over at the two, which was promptly followed by their obedient arrival. "So, I've been pretty much tired of sitting around, waiting. I think it's high time for us to go leave this country. I don't like the idea of vengeful robbers or hunter-nin on our trail."
Naruto did his customary shrug. He wasn't stupid, but he still left the details to the other two for the most part.
"Then where would be go from here, Tetsuya-sensei?" Haku inquired.
There was a hum of thought before Tetsuya answered, "You know that lodging town we stopped at before we got into that run in with the bandits that started this whole thing?"
"You mean to return to Otafuku City?"
"We can take a small break there and re-supply before we hoof it out of the country."
"But, but sensei! Otafuku's only a stone's throw away from Konoha! It's dumb to be so close to a place that's going to be after our head again so soon!" Naruto argued, though.
"Hey! I'm just coming up with this as I go along! It's the best we got anyways, right?"
"Ah, don't worry about the ninjas, Naruto-kun", Haku reassured, "It's an unlikely thought that there will be ninjas in every single town, even if Otafuku is a relatively… reasonable place."
"Eh, fine! If we get into trouble with ninja, I'll just blame you!"
"You know, the last person who said that was Pitted Viper Hench in chapter 749. Shortly after he got sucked to death by a vampire."
"Oh, SHUT UP!"
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The next night and day was spent making whatever walking speed they could to double back to Otafuku. By the time the sun was setting for a second time, the three, who traveled through brush, a bush-whacking bush, trees, a wrong turn off a cliff…
To put simply, three dirty, ragged and unusually impatient samurai stood in the front gates of the welcoming lights of the lodging town, and gave an exuberant sigh.
They had seen heaven.
Well, metaphorically anyways. In truth, Otafuku was what they called a "lodging town", which is just a politician's way of saying "One Big Honking Tourist Trap." The place was filled with a chock full of hotels to cater to varying kinds of passer-throughs and every level of society. High-society, Low-society, Questionable-society, Adventurous-society, Soul-society, etc.
The three of them stood of a rather average hotel, called "Shining Ponds and Springs", or some crap like that. The inspiration obviously came from the front lobby that was marked by an exquisite pathway ringed by some marvelously designed ponds that probably cost half the budget of making the hotel.
"Welcome! How many in your party?"
"Three." The eldest duly explained.
"Would you like three rooms or two?"
"One."
"Excuse me?"
"I'm a cheapskate. Give me the cheapest single room you have."
"Uh, well-"
"Sensei! What the heck are you thinking! You can't fit three people in one room!"
"You'd be surprised."
The guy at the counter stopped flipping through the pages, "Well, there is room-"
"Good! Excellent! Keys now!"
The keys were to room 29 on the second floor. It was the last one at the end of the hall to the left. It was a cramped chamber with a bed, a table, and a window, and almost looked like an after-thought in the building design plans.
This didn't seem to bother them too much as they all piled on either the single chair next to the table or the small bed by the window.
"I'm not taking another step… I'm tired."
Naruto grinned and stood tall (which took up the last of his energy), "Ha! I could go on for days!"
"Stamina freak…"
Haku, being a sensible woman made a honest opinion, which only women would follow, "We kind of smell. Maybe we should wash somewhere first before sleeping."
"No."
"I don't need a bath!"
"You two stink."
"That's a manly thing." Tetsuya muttered.
The female samurai sighed, but then felt the presence of heated water due to her family heritage. "Well, I'm not standing the smell. You two are either going to go to the hot spring behind this building, or I'm going to dump hyper-arctic water on you two."
Tetsuya rose up with a challenging grin, "Ha! You try it women! Me and Naruto can take anything your womanly-samurai-ish wiles any time! Right Naru-"
There was a sound of a door slamming behind Tetsuya and Haku, and a muffled "See you at the spring!"
"…eh, fine. You win this time, lady."
"That's nice to hear from my mentor, Tetsuya-sensei!" Haku said with one of her creepy grins that one couldn't tell was supposed to be condescending and patronizing, or just merely nice.
"Just you wait! I hope some 50-year-old pervert like that porno bastard Jiraiya spies on you for his material for the next book! HA!"
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Naruto just stepped into the water. Tetsuya, being retarded as he was, decided to belly-flop into the pool. Luckily this night, it seemed apart from the samurai, only an elderly other gentleman (who seemed to have some fixation with the dividing wall between the two sexes' pools) was privy to the sight of a naked eye-patched dirty man screaming 'Banzai!' at the top of his lungs before crashing into the water.
Apparently having Houkou made him immune to the affects of slamming into the solid wall of water. Good for him.
"Man! This shit feels smooooth." Tetsuya grinned as he leaned back against the warm stones encircling the pool, while sitting next to his student. He made extra care not to look at the bamboo partition, since he wasn't exactly in the mood for his wandering eye to accidentally See through the divide and into the women's side. Haku and all.
Naruto didn't turn to address his teacher beside him, as he was keeping his head poked above the top of the stone, suspiciously keeping his gaze on the old man who hadn't moved from his position of facing the wall for the last couple of minutes. "Its water, sensei."
"tch-phff-YEAH! I know that! …Hey! Look at your teacher when I address you!"
Naruto turned around annoyed, "I'm doing something important here - can't you see that guy is suspicious?" Naruto quietly hissed while pointing his finger at the old man.
Tetsuya raised his eyebrow that was not consumed by the eye patch over top, and then looked past his samurai student's blonde, spiky cranium.
Yeah. Old man staring at the wall. He seemed pretty built for an old guy though. You could see plenty of muscle still on that large frame of his. He had a whole shock of white hair, so much that the huge-ass pony tail (this thing was worthy of actually being called that) was going down the man's back like a… pony's tail.
Tetsuya was sure that he'd never forget an old fogey that managed to keep fat off his body. One of those "once in a lifetime" things. Either way, back to the topic at hand.
"So? It's an old guy."
"But… he's really suspicious! He keeps facing that wall… what if he's a ninja?"
"Him?" Tetsuya snorted, and pointed rudely at the elderly gentleman that seemed to be not hearing a word spoken, "Naruto… how one earth did you come up with the conclusion that a 50-year-old man with a hearing problem and an obsessive fixation with the partition would actually be a ninja?"
"Cause all ninjas are weird."
"He looks like I could tip him over with my finger…" Tetsuya muttered. But he decided that since he was bothering Naruto, he might as well do something about it. "OI! Prick! Stop scaring the kid and stop acting like a retard! Get in the pool!
The man just sat.
"Oi! I'm talkin' to you!"
"…I don't listen to the pitiful whinings of little chicks like you." Came the gruff reply.
Tetsuya rose out of the water then. Let's not mind the nakedness. Just concentrate on the bulging veins and shaking pointed finger.
"What you call me! And what that'd make you?"
The old man turned over to face them, a great sneer encompassing the face. Two red tattoo lines ran down vertical from his eyes.
"Well aged! Like fine wine!"
"You ask me, you look like fuckin' piss beer!"
"Ha! You children know not style or grace then!"
The old man was pushing himself further and further away from the wall, until his body had moved away from the wall enough for Naruto, who had been previously silent, to notice something.
"Wait… is that a PEEKHOLE?" The blonde shouted in disbelief.
"AGH! So you reveal your true form! A pervert!" Tetsuya accused.
The old man bellowed at that. "You think me just a mere letch! I am beyond that! I am a refined SUPER PERVERT!"
Super Pervert? Where'd I hear that before? It was in the back of a book or something… "Hey you! Identify yourself!" The elder samurai shouted once more.
One could swear after there were the sounds of wooden tabs clacking to the beat of the kabuki theater, while the old man hopped around on one foot naked.
"Listen up! Bow before might, as you perceive Gallant… Toad Hermit… Jiraiya's… Wild Dance of Eden!"
Pose.
Naruto was gaping at the sight. He couldn't take his eyes of the sheer lunacy and stupidity, but at the same time, gazing at naked old men wasn't exactly a healthy process.
Tetsuya was shaking at the word. Not in fear, though. "You're Jiraiya? As in that guy who wrote Icha Icha?"
"Ah ha! You acknowledge my greatness!"
"Prick! It's because of your stupid word porn that Super Shiny Spinny Attack is nearly out of business! I am Inukage Tetsuya! Samurai and Student of Super Shiny Spinny Attack! By identifying yourself, you have made me you greatest enemy! Jiraiya, your time as has come!"
"W-wait sensei! Aren't you taking this a little bit too far…?"
"Hardly! Like you shall never forgive your home, I shall never forgive this bastard! VENGEANCE!"
As an attestation to Tetsuya's preparedness, his sword was already just on the other side of the rock that closed in the pool. Reaching for it, the Inukage quickly threw the sheath off, letting the blade bask in the moonlight. Of course, the moment Tetsuya took a step forward, a little blond form was already grappling with the man.
"Now this is going way too far Sensei!"
"Let go! I must restore the Ranger's honor in this realm!"
"You just can't go randomly attack civilians in public, even if they're porno writers!"
"I can! It's my right as Samurai! Away with you!" Tetsuya finished with a flourish of his arms that had enough force to throw the 12-year-old boy off him.
With that, Tetsuya rushed out of the water with great speed, charging towards the unmoving elderly fellow.
"DEATH!" Tetsuya roared
"Hey pervert! Get moving or this guy will really hurt you!" Naruto managed to shout out in the back.
The samurai leapt through the air, blade flying towards the man's chest. Just moments before contact, a large foot smashed into the naked Inukage sword-slinger's face with enough force the entire frame of the man went spinning through the air backwards, head over feet. Tetsuya smashed into the pool with a great explosion of water.
Tetsuya merely burst through the water again, eyes red for bloodlust. He wasn't going down for some old porno writing HUMAN! "Bastard!"
He rushed towards Jiraiya again, which promptly booted him back into the water. Tetsuya merely got up again and rushed. And rushed, and over and over.
By the fifth time, Tetsuya was practically running on all fours to get to Jiraiya faster. When he emerged from the pool a sixth time he was screaming for blood.
"Sensei!" Naruto was also shouting in fear.
Tetsuya swiveled around in the water and roared, "WHAT?"
Immeadiately, his student cringed back from the look, "Sensei! You gotta stop! You're losing control!"
Something snapped back into place then. He's right…
Tetsuya rushed to bury himself into the water, to the surprise of everyone present. Eventually the samurai emerged again, his lone eye glaring at Jiraiya, while stuck a finger at the hermit. "This isn't over yet! While we're both here, you better watch your back!"
Jiraiya was giving a grim quiet look to Tetsuya, but seemed to brush the thought off with a wave of his arm. "Tch! You may try! But the likes of you cannot touch me! Now go while I go conduct research."
"Research my ass! I'll be seeing you, later!" Tetsuya indignantly muttered while pulling a towel around his waist, then storming out, with sword in hand. Naruto followed after.
Jiraiya merely harrumphed as he put his eye to the peephole.
He was immediately blasted away by a jet of water that forced itself through the miniscule passage, thus increasing the already powerful force several more fold.
Luckily for the women on the otherside, Haku was a very attentive listener.
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"S-sensei, what was that!" Naruto nervously asked as the two moved through the rows of lockers.
"What was what?" Was the unhappy reply.
"You…you had something weird coming out of that covered eye."
This caught the older samurai's breath, as he turned around to face his student. "What was it?"
"It looked like… some sort of white chakra that was coming from underneath your eyepatch."
"Naruto, first you can't see chakra. At most you see dust flying up from the force, but actually seeing chakra visibly is practically impossible. Even if there are techniques that involved visible chakra, like puppet strings or something, it's usually blue, not white."
"But that's what I saw! Something white was coming out of your eye and it felt like chakra!"
"… Come Naruto. We'll talk about this, another time. The night's not young anymore."
Naruto just stuck a tongue at the retreating form of Tetsuya, but left the matter be.
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Two figures stood atop a cliff to see the rising sun. A most beautiful dawn. Clouds floating in the sky painted in blood. A most beautiful red dawn.
"It looks like our investigation into Konoha didn't turn up any lead, eh?"
"No. But it was expected due to the reports. The Kyuubi-Seal has been traveling under tutelage of an outsider to Konoha for much of his life."
"How strong is this guy?"
"Bingo Books report him to be B-Rank, even without practice of a shinobi. He is comparable to a Jounin."
"This sounds easy."
"His party has been travelling through this region for a while. Recently they doubled back. Judging from the reports of their supply capacity, they are most likely heading to a city to resupply. This city, Otafuku, is the most likely location."
"So apart from the Kyuubi-Seal, who's his teacher?"
"The Kyuubi is accompanied by one other student, a female. They are both taught by a man who identifies himself continually as 'Inukage Tetsuya'."
"Inukage?"
"You recognize the name?"
"I didn't expect to hear from him… this ought to be particularly for me."
"Then by all means, lead."
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A new day. They were supposed to be out shopping. Tetsuya stomped out onto the streets, legs taking up wide spaces while his hands were stuffed into his pockets, which made a very strange scene of the crème column of cloth with a head on top hunched over and glowering at everything. Behind him, Naruto and Haku walked behind, as if everything was normal.
"Say, Haku. What do you think it is?" Naruto asked his sister-in-arms, having previously reported the Tetsuya's white chakra and bloodlust of the previous night in secret to her.
"I can only make an assumption it could be the Houkou that is a part of Tetsuya. Just like a part of you is the Kyuubi, you both have a reaction to violence at points."
"Man, that sucks. He's going to have to keep an eye on his temper then, since that Perverted Hermit Jiraiya is still in town. Looks like it's a good thing we're samurai. Self-control and all that, right?"
"I'd assume as much."
"Oi! Ya two!" Tetsuya yowled back, "I need your help in getting groceries for the trip. Get a move on!"
The day hit it's first path downhill when they entered the first grocery store. Tetsuya, inspired by what transpired last night, was subsequently with an amazing thought.
Tetsuya and Naruto was side by side in the aisle holding all wheat, bread, or grain products, because apparently that's the only thing men can choose on their own accord, next to meat, women, and video games. Haku on the other hand, being the completely dependable female she was, was searching for vegetable products that would at least look somewhat agreeable to her comrades. They were never big on leaf matter, except for pissing on them or using them for weapons practice. It extended to all vegetable matter in general.
As Tetsuya inspected a super flat parcel of bread deemed specially designed for travel, he talked to Naruto out the side of his mouth.
"Oi, Naruto."
"Yeah?"
"About the Kyuubi…"
"Shhh! Not so loud around here?" The small samurai quickly hushed and looked around quickly.
"Why?" Tetsuya raised an eyebrow, "It's not like we're in Konoha."
"Everybody in Fire Country still hates the bastard!"
"Look whatever. Do you think Kyuubi's a chick?"
"…WHAT!"
Everybody didn't really notice the mention of the Nine-tailed mass-murdering furry bastard, but everybody did spend a long silence staring in various ranges of emotion of the boy who just shouted for no reason.
Naruto looked around and managed to give a sheepish chuckle and rubbed his head apologetically, until some semblance of before was restored. Naruto then gave a dirty look at his master.
"What do you mean by that?"
"I mean, do you think Kyuubi's a chick? You know, a bitch? A Vixen? A girl?"
Naruto managed to make some strangled noises, "What's so important about it?"
"Just curious. You know, it might give a reason to why Kyuubi went on that rampage, ya know?"
"Er…"
"I think they call it PMS these days. You know, that time of the month when women go insane and bitchy and kill people?"
Naruto couldn't really see it in his imagination that Kyuubi would doom him to eternal self-imposed exile and discrimination over PMS. He decided to improvise with materials on hand.
The image of a hundred-story tall Haku at-that-time-of-the-month attacking Konoha made more sense.
"Well… but I don't see what Kyuubi possibly being a girl has to do with anything. Besides, what about you? Houkou could be a girl by the same merit."
"Not really?"
"Why's that?"
"Because I'm MANLY."
Just the way Tetsuya said it made Naruto fold over. In barely contained laughter.
Outdated-comic-book-reading-unrequited-fanboy-dork-who-drowns-himself-in-pools-when-he-get-hangovers-alcohol-intolerant…
Naruto fell to the ground, laughing his head off.
Tetsuya blinked at the thing at his feet.
"HA HA HA! Oh god! That's good! You manly! Ah jeez! I can't stop!"
"What? How dare you mock my honor! DIE!"
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The second path downhill was after the store manager kicked them both out for fighting and eventually knocking over the rack of food. Naturally, Haku sighed and said for the two of them to wait outside, and that SHE would go get everything. She was also muttering something under her breath about them "being sealed with stupidity more than anything else…" but that's a story for another time.
The two samurai stood on little stools outside the store, bored out of their mind in the heat of the day. The only points of interest was the sounds of heavy footfall around them, and the coy giggles and flirts in an inn room across the street and up a floor.
Seriously. It was practically in the middle of the day. Who the hell had time to mess around with girls when they should be off working?
The paper and wood window was thrust open quickly, increasing the volume of laughter after a particularly familiar hermit (blindfolded, mind you) landed on the railing after wrapping his arms around a rather loosely kimono wrapped woman, everybody giggling. The hermit's giggle was a bit lecherous, though.
Tetsuya was immediately on his feet, pointing his finger once again at the now probably identified Jiraiya, "YOU!"
It was the Jiraiya. This time, he was clothed in some thick gray clothes that were underneath a red vest. Large Geta-sandals adorned his feet and a metal head plate was atop his forehead. It was not one that identified him as a ninja, though. The plate was much thicker and wider, and sprouted two small metal horns. Painted on the surface, inexplicably, was the character for the word "oil".
The old perverted writer raised the white blindfold off his eyes with a bit of amused surprise to see the man on the street below hurling various insults. "Oh, it's the crazy samurai!"
"Don't crazy samurai me you perverted prick! I demand a rematch right here, so I can gut you and restore honor and sales values to Super Shiny Spinny attack!"
Naruto was already on his feet and trying to pull back his teacher again, "Oi! Sensei! Don't go beserk again! Let's just go!"
Jiraiya noted the relationship, "Oh ho! So the master is being lectured by the student in the matters of self-control? Is this what became of the great Samurai?"
"He's not cute at all… is he a friend of yours, Jiraiyaaa?" The overly breasted women teased.
"Ah, he's just some nobody that wants a bit of fame by troubling me" Jiraiya waved a dismissive hand at the fuming one-eyed warrior below.
"Oi! You prick! Get down here!"
"I'm much too settled in here, samurai. Why don't you come up?" Jiraiya returned, while purposely his hand slip on the woman's kimono, letting more of the cream flesh be exposed to the normal view of the two samurai, who immediately reddened up, with a bit of blood down the nose to boot.
"Well, little chicks, how about it? I'm sure you enjoy the company of women at least! But I'm rather afraid the women up here might prefer your swords over you!" The writer guffawed, eliciting roaring laughter throughout the floor.
The samurai below were grinding their teeth at the words, before Tetsuya reached for his sword. Motioning for his student to do likewise, Tetsuya explained.
"Oi, Naruto. Let's give this bastard a lesson in chakra."
"Right!"
Jiraiya gave a look a minor confusion as he watched a circle of dust blow away from the feet of the two, as the two held the sword in their sheaths. In an instant, the two slashed out at the open air in front of the building. Tetsuya slashed in an upward motion, and Naruto vice-versa from his shoulder configuration. Together the entire side of the inn buckled inwards and exploded in a mass of debris, scattering tiles, pebble-sized concrete bits, and passerbys. Terrified female screams sounded out throughout the inn and the sounds of footfalls were heard as they escaped with their lives along with everyone else in the street.
As the dust cleared, two large gashes were scored into the front of the in, shattering tiles, splitting wood, shredding paper, and covering a blinking Jiraiya in soot and dust.
"Take that!" Tetsuya sneered and pointed his sword at the man above. "It may not be as satisfying, but that sure oughta teach you a lesson for insulting a samurai!"
"Naruto! Tetsuya-sensei! What's all this?" Haku's exasperated voice came from behind the two.
Tetsuya fumbled a bit, "Well, er… you see…"
"Some bastard was making fun of us, and he was a pervert to, so he deserved it! It was the same guy who was peeking on you last night, until you showed him how awesome you were!" Tetsuya's blonde companion easily explained in his stead.
Haku blinked. "Oh… okay. Well I got the stuff, so we can go now." She said, holding up the bag of goods.
Naruto gave his usual hearty cheer, before the three of them left.
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"That was pretty impressive, don't you think?"
"They're still rather reckless."
"The Inukage was always like that. Have you got the Genjutsu set up?"
"Yes. The Sannin should not give us trouble for now."
"They're staying over at that place. Let's get them all in one swoop."
"Very well."
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The final path to the downhill came when the three returned to their hotel. The moment they set foot on their floor, everything went to hell.
Immediately, the three of them reeled back from the sheer force of killing intent that swamped the entire hallway. Whatever it was, it was practically trying to drown them in the feeling of utter despair that they were going to die.
Shit…Tetsuya mentally hissed. He turned to his two students. "We're leaving."
"Right!"
The moment they turned back to the stairwell, the entire staircase exploded from an impact, knocking the three of them to the ground. Amidst the dust, they could see a figure rising up and clutching to the surviving railings with one hand. The entire man was covered in some sort of coat that was decorated in red clouds on black cloth, while a reed hat, with paper strips on the back and a string with a bell attached to the brim, completely overshadowed the visage of their attack. The entire frame of the man exuded physical strength, while one hand easily hefted a gigantic bandaged weapon.
"Naruto, Haku, we're going through the window!"
The three of them quickly rushed away from the large weapon-wielding figure, and dashed down the empty hall. However, the Inukage's vision quickly saw something wrong, and rushed further past his two students, arm rushing through the lone sleeve to access his sword by his hip. Slashing at the air, the atmosphere warped and shimmered as another man jumped back from out thin air away from the attack. Tetsuya didn't let up though, and continued to attack the second man with practiced finesse, until the man suddenly twisted out of the way to shove a foot into the samurai's face with enough force to knock him backwards.
Naruto and Haku managed to grab their falling mentor before they all crashed to the ground, but now the unanimously dressed attackers stopped their escape on both sides. Tetsuya sourly rubbed the mark on the side of his face as he stared down the smaller of the two. Started with Genjutsu, but he's still extremely proficient at hand to hand.
"Tetsuya-sensei, why are these men attacking us!" Haku frantically muttered, as she pointed her Bloodline weapon in either direction.
"Oi, sensei. Do these uniforms look familiar to you?" Naruto growled as he slung his sword off his shoulders.
"Never saw these guys before." Tetsuya muttered as he got to his feet.
The larger man behind them snickered as he carried his sword over his shoulder, "I never thought I'd see you as a teacher, Tetsuya."
"That voice…" Tetsuya's eye widened in realization, and then gave a grin of his own, "I didn't think we'd meet like this!"
"We'll like you said once, 'Shinobi, Samurai. Their lives are transient…'"
"'…and so are their friendships'." Tetsuya said, finishing his own phrase.
"Sensei! You know this bastard?" Naruto gaped.
Tetsuya gave a straight look at the large man who moved to remove the reed hat from his head, and he kept his sword pointed at him. "Yeah. Haku, Naruto. May I present to you my sparring buddy from Mist, who we both taught each other how to fight. Hoshigake… Kisame."
The reed hat was pulled off to reveal the face of either a man who became a shark, or a shark that became a man. He had blue skin and gray pointed hair, beady eyes, gill-like marks under them, and pointed teeth that were fixed in a shark-ish grin. Covering his forehead was the customary ninja head plate, but the normal Mist symbol was scored through with a deep gash that scratched the metal.
"It's been a long time, Inukage Tetsuya."
"Surprising how we meet."
The smaller uniformed man on the other side hummed in minor interest. "So you two do recognize each other. I must introduce myself then."
Pulling off his own hat, the smaller man looked much more normal. Deep lines were dug into either side of his nose, while bored eyes carried the mark of the Sharingan, the Uchiha Blood Limit technique.
"Uchiha Itachi."
"Uchiha?" Haku muttered in confusion. "I thought that they were all destroyed…"
"They are. I killed them all except for my younger brother."
Naruto spat in disgust, before speaking in a mostly fake uninterested tone, "So you're Sasuke-bastard's brother!"
"Oh? You know him? I hope he is doing well."
"He was, until I kicked his ass!"
"It's better that way. We'll be needing that strength after all, Naruto."
"Strength?" Tetsuya repeated. Kisame sneered.
"Yeah. We'll be taking Naruto now. He's valuable to us since he got the Kyuubi sealed in him."
"You're after the Kyuubi?"
"We're after all the Tailed-Beasts."
While rather selfish, Tetsuya's thoughts momentarily turned to his danger in light of this.
"Normally Tetsuya, I'd ask you to just hand over the brat. But I know you and your Samurai philosophy too well to think you'd just hand your responsibilities over. Tch. How much easier it'd be if you never met the boy!"
"Perhaps…" Tetsuya trailed off, before turning to his two students. "Naruto, Haku. It's a fight. I'm going to fight Kisame. You two handle that Uchiha guy. Remember, if Kisame is extremely dangerous, probably so is this other guy. Don't lose your concentration for anything… and don't look into his eyes. The Sharingan is dangerous."
"Yes, Tetsuya-sensei."
"Right! I'm going to kick his ass."
Tetsuya grinned before turning back to the Mist-nin, "Let's go, Kisame!"
The two swordsmen rushed down the hall, and when they connected, they gave experimental slashes at each other, most of the time each blow only connected with steel. The two backed away again.
"You've gotten better, Tetsuya."
"I was only a punk kid back then. I see you've increased your arm strength. For you to be able to carry a weapon that large with such a short handle…"
"Yeah. This is Sameheda. I'm sure you already figured out why it's called that."
"A series of small, scale-like blades compromising the surface instead of a large single blade. 'Shark Skin', indeed."
"Observant as ever."
"You could say that."
While the two old friends rushed at each other again, Itachi was idly making his way over to Haku and Naruto.
The swordswomen thrust her palms onto the ground and moisture quickly moved onto the walls, floors, and ceiling between Itachi and the two, where it quickly froze and encased the entire hallway between them in ice.
It probably won't stop him, but as long as more and more things took up his concentration, which meant more openings for them. Plus any chakra wasted in balancing would help.
Predictably, the Uchiha walked on the ice like it was never there. Naruto quickly rushed in, leaving Haku behind to control the battlefield. Naruto slashed and batted with his sword and steel-encased sheath, and every swing Itachi easily twisted out of each swing like the animal he was named after. Back flipping away from another, Itachi landed on the iced ground again only to be impaled by large shear of ice that burst through the ground. Naruto was tempted to cheer, but was shocked instead to find that the Itachi he was fighting the entire time just disappear into ninja smoke. Before he could even make another move, Itachi's hand reappeared and grabbed a whole lot of Naruto's face so the man could thrust the boy into the wall with enough force to shatter the plaster and ice.
"Naruto!" Haku screamed, but quickly understood what she needed to do. Thrusting her palm onto the ground again, the ice began to grow. Itachi had to release his grip on the boy as he watched a thick wall of ice separate the two. Turning around, the man gave an apathetic look at the girl while she let the wall also grow in front of her as well, completely cutting the hall in two. Quickly stretching out an arm, Haku pulled Naruto out from between the ice and the wall.
"Naruto, are you okay?"
"Yeah, just caught off-guard. I didn't even see when he switched himself with that clone… how long will that ice last."
"It's my best. If he uses fire techniques, it'll still hold for a while."
As for Tetsuya and Kisame, Tetsuya was playing hard-to-get. Kisame made sure to keep his swings wide and full and strength, as Sameheda was kept in Tetsuya's face. For the Inukage, he knew that he couldn't get close to Kisame at this rate, and he couldn't merely block the larger sword. Given Kisame's strength and the strength of the sword, it would probably just shatter Tetsutya's own, completely giving the fight to the former Mist-nin.
Fortunately, his eye that held Houkou had already seen a possible opening. Tetsuya rushed into range. Kisame quickly swung his massive bandaged weapon in a horizontal arc at Tetsuya' head. The Inukage did raise sword, but merely drove the point of his blade into the side of the bandages. The force of the swing contacted the metal further down the length of Sameheda, reducing the force. The attack was enough for bowl Tetsuya over, but he was counting on this and let himself roll through the motion, where he landed on his knees in front of Kisame's stomach, where he jabbed upwards.
Shit. Tetsuya swore internally as he saw already what he stabbed was just a clone made of water. The real Kisame was concealing himself in the water. Forcing chakra into the sword, Tetsuya stabbed downwards into the puddle, breaking through time and space to try and stab the man inside.
"Suiton: Suikoudan no Jutsu!" Kisame's voice echoed, and the puddle released a monstrous shark-shaped water projectile that traveled straight up and smashed into the ceiling, Tetsuya's face along with it. Kisame launched himself out of the water to see only bits of wood and ninja smoke buried in the ceiling above. Tetsuya for the most part was unharmed as he landed on the ground.
"Still only using Kawarimi?" Kisame smirked.
"It's the only thing I need to use."
"That's if you even have chakra!" Kisame roared and swiped at Tetsuya. It seemed easy to dodge, as the Inukage merely slid backwards a few inches to narrowly miss the attack before stabbing forwards. But as Kisame brought his sword in front to block, something felt off to Tetsuya.
My strike… didn't feel as…firm.
Kisame noticed the look on his opponent's face, with a bit of smugness, "Sorry, Tetsuya. I know how much you hate foul play, but Sameheda is hungry, and it apparently likes your chakra!"
"What!"
Without warning, Tetsuya suddenly felt all his strength getting sapped through his arm, through the sword, and into the Kisame's weapon. It eats chakra?
With the lack of strength in his enemy, Kisame quickly knocked Tetsuya's sword aside and lunged downwards. The Inukage brought up his sword to block, even if his limbs felt like they were light and marshmallow-ly. Even with his effort, Tetsuya gritted his teeth and watched Sameheda grow lower and lower.
Jeez! This is just the tip of his sword, and he's already pushing me down! I can't even feel enough chakra to Kawarimi…
"Like I remind you…"
A good foot of Sameheda fell on Tetsuya's shoulder. Shit!
"Sameheda doesn't cut… IT SHAVES!"
Pulling back fiercely, the scales making up the surface of the large sword ripped through its own bandages and through Tetsuya's shoulder, tearing muscle and flying blood, much to the shocked pain of the one-eyed warrior, who dropped his blade.
Kisame chuckled a bit at the man on his hand and knees. "So what are you going to do now, Tetsuya? You've lost your good arm. You can't win."
"Sensei! We're coming!" Naruto shouted down the hall.
"No! Stay there, and keep that Uchiha guy out of this!"
"B-but you lost your good arm!"
"Shut up! Neon Ranger was a leftie, so that means so can I!" Tetsuya roared, and reached for his sword with his still perfect left. Standing up, he stared at Kisame with a straight face.
"Let's go Kisame."
"You won't win."
"I'll figure something out."
Kisame immediately swung his sword into Tetsuya, who even with his sword blocking, was crushed into the side of the wall.
"Sensei!"
"Tetsuya-sensei!"
"I said STAY!" The weakened samurai snarled before ducking under another blow that smashed into his previous condition in the wall. On the ground, Tetsuya launched a foot upwards at Kisame's jaw, which was quickly blocked again by his scaly sword. The Inukage rolled away from another falling blow, Kisame laughing all the while.
"Pitiful! You're more dependent on chakra than I thought! Your entire speed has dropped! What's happened to you over the years, Tetsuya? Do I still surpass you?"
"Does it really matter?" Tetsuya duly responded before charging in again, sword backwards in his hand. Several kunai fell from the sleeve into Tetsuya's poorly functioning right arm, where he threw them at the shark-looking man. With a wave of Sameheda, all the blades were knocked away, giving Tetsuya the opening he needed to flip through the air, as he tried to slash down at Kisame's head. Kisame merely backed away as Tetsuya landed an empty attack, and swung upwards from a low position, like an animal testing a larger prey. Kisame easily guarded each slower attack, until full on stopped an upward slash with the brunt of his sword.
It was Tetsuya's mistake, as his eyes widened in shock that Kisame used the sheer force of his arm strength to shove his sword down, smashing into Tetsuya's chest and crushing him into the ground. Kisame took his sweet time to smash his sword again and again into the enlarging crater, crushing the unmoving samurai inside deeper and deeper.
"No! Sensei!"
"Tetsuya-sensei!"
Kisame looked down the hall to his quarry and his friend that were standing in front of a thick wall of ice. Naruto looked something halfway between streaming tears and snarling for blood. Haku didn't cry, but the temperature seemed to drop by just meeting that dark look.
"I'll kill you!"
Kisame snorted, "Don't hurt yourself thinking that. I'll probably slice of your limbs and keep you alive for the trip back." Kisame hoisted his sword over his shoulder and began walking past the hole in the ground, towards his sword-drawn prey.
Kisame heard the snapping of weight on crumpled wood. Turning around, the mist-nin saw his formerly defeated pulling himself out of the hole with his arms, coughing and spluttering on his hands and knees, while he clutched his sword in his ruined arm.
"Tch… you still want to fight?" Kisame sneered. "This won't even take five seconds."
When Tetsuya staggered to his feet, head lolling downwards, the silence in the air just seemed wrong to Kisame. It was the feeling of being in the center of the storm. Any moment, everything would go to hell.
The moment passed. A great force flooded over everything like a wind trying to blow everything away. Kisame stepped back shock.
What the hell? What the hell's this feeling! This malevolence , this chakra… it's all coming from him?
Tetsya gave a wide eye gleam and a grin that showed he could kill anything he wanted.
A moment later, Kisame felt something fly over his shoulder, cleaving a great gash in it. Turning around, Kisame watched Tetsuya suddenly behind him rushing with a sword in his right arm he didn't even seem to notice was torn up. Having no time for anything else, Kisame held Sameheda to defend against the rising strike.
The sheer force Tetsuya's blade clashing into the scaly surface already blew Kisame away several feet, tossing him through the air until he landed clumsily on his feet. Kisame felt blood on his face.
The attack didn't connect… but the force was enough to hit me? What the hell is going on? Just a second ago he was a corpse in the ground, and now this?
Tetsuya was grinning, full of blood lust. His bound eye was bleeding white chakra from behind the eye patch into the air like so much smoke.
White chakra? What the hell is he?
"What's the matter Kisame? Did you slow down for no reason? Ha!" The berserk Inukage sneered.
"Shut up… you're the one who's gotten faster." Kisame muttered quietly to himself.
"This feeling… I don't know what it is, but it feels good. I don't hurt a single bit… and I'm not the least afraid of losing to some ass-hat like you!"
"Shut up!" Kisame snarled, hands folding into seals. "Suiton: Suikoudan no Jutsu!" Putting fingers to his mouth, the Mist-nin spat out a shark-shaped stream of water that hurtled towards Tetsuya.
The samurai merely raised his sword thrumming with the white chakra, and the projectile exploded on its surface with no effect.
Kisame frowned. Again!
Another projectile. This time, Tetsuya batted the Shark Bullet aside, letting the water smash into the wall beside him, sending debris everywhere.
Kisame opted to try one more time.
The force of Tetsuya's new chakra in the room multiplied, the entire projectile collapsing with it. Kisame also collapsed to his knees, the feeling of the whole weight of the world crushing down on his back.
Naruto and Haku also had the unfortunate luck of being sprawled on the ground. Naruto managed to raise one eye at the man before him. "Sensei… what are you…?"
"It's over Kisame! It's my turn!" Tetsuya roared, and charged down the hall in a blur of color.
The ruined crater in the ground between the two swordsmen suddenly exploded. Before Tetsuya could stop, Itachi had already burst through the ground and had a disturbingly firm grip on the samurai's neck. The force of the stopped momentum was enough to kick the samurai's legs into the air. While Tetsuya gave a shocked look at Itachi, he found himself looking into those red eyes…
And he felt himself falling…
…Falling...
…Falling...
…Falling...
…Falling...
…Falling...
…Falling...
…Falling...
…Falling...?
Tetsuya's motion suddenly stopped again as he found himself certainly not in the Inn he was fighting in last. He was now pinned against a rudimentary cross in some… place. All the colors in this place were inverted, though. Save for himself, who was colored in a single dull black tone, everything was painted red, with the sky marked with a red moon.
"In Tsukyomi… Time and Space is controlled by me." Itachi's flat voice noted as he appeared before the trapped samurai, sword in hand. "For the next 72 hours, you will receive utmost pain you have never felt before."
Itachi's movement was swift. Tetsuya coughed as he felt the impossibly cold steel enter into his lung. Itachi took his time pulling out the sword and reentering it in another carefully aimed portion of his body, ensuring each stab perfect efficiency, the most pain derived with the least amount of force.
Tetsuya wasn't sure if he was dying or not, but if fucking hurt like hell. He didn't know how long it was, but he suddenly saw something unexpected out of the corner of his eye.
Himself. About the get stabbed.
"In Tsukyomi… Time and Space is controlled by me." The Itachi over there repeated, stabbing that Tetsuya, while the one over on the last Tetsuya stabbed again, the pain multiplying.
"This… is all fake!" The samurai managed to his as he felt another a third sword enter his side, as another Tetsuya appeared, with a second Itachi approaching each cross to assist the other.
"This world may be fake, but the pain is real."
And the pain continued. It dragged on forever and ever, more Tetsuyas, more Itachis, more pain, more swords, all the while, whatever Tetsuya could call his consciousness around here was just barely trying to hold its sanity in this world gone mad
Eventually, it stopped for a few precious seconds, as Itachi and Tetsuya were one and alone again.
"Congratulations, Inukage Tetsuya."
"For what?"
"You have survived one second of torture here in Tsukyomi."
WHAT?
A small mob of the damned men with their blood red eyes and swords appeared in a growing circle around the trapped prisoner, ever approaching.
"71 Hours… 59 Minutes… and 59 Seconds left…"
No! No! Wait! Calm down! You're smart! This isn't real! You're the expert in things not real! That's how you survived.
Concentrate… this isn't real…
"It will not work."
…You just have to search out for that true feeling. That feeling of that sword in your hand…
Amidst the blades that flayed his skin, Tetsuya shut his eye, trying to see through the pain.
This isn't real…This isn't real! THIS ISN'T REAL!
THIS ISN'T…
"…REAL!" Tetsuya screamed, and slashed violently at Itachi, who jumped away easily from the attack, letting Tetsuya drop to the floor.
"You survived Tsukyomi. Unprecedented to do so without Sharingan. Interesting."
Tetsuya swayed backwards, as he felt the world spin around him. The pain was still lighting up his body, telling him that muscles were pierced, lungs punctured, stomach perforated, skin shredded. But it was all fake, it was all genjutsu. It was an effort just willing that instead of the obvious.
"It's not real… It's not real… It's… not…"
He fell backwards into the arms of his students, who set him down gently in their laps.
"Sensei! Come on! Snap out of it!"
"Tetsuya-sensei! Don't leave us!"
"It's…It's not… not… It's not…"
"Sensei!"
Tetsuya felt his world grow deaf and watched his single eye close to the noiseless cries of his students. He couldn't help it.
All in all… this was a bad day…
"SENSEI!" Naruto cried into the air, cradling his still mentor's head, spilling tears.
"This… is impossible… it can't end like this…" Haku mumbled wide-eyed. She was too shocked to begin crying yet.
Down the hall Kisame brushed off some of the wet blood off his shoulder and walked over to Itachi. "Goddamn, those kids make a lot of unnecessary noise. I'm going to kill the bitch and slice off the limbs on the Kyuubi kid. What do you think?"
"Do as you like. I'm only concerned with the delivery of a living Jinchuruuki."
"That's settled then."
Naruto glared back at them, "Bastards! I fucking rip you to shreds!"
"Heh, I'd like to see you try. Your probably not even half of what Tetsuya is, and I took him out fine."
The mention of that only brought a cry of anger from Naruto. Within moments, the feeling of the oppressive chakra in the hallway appeared again, with more force than ever. Kisame was starting to get used to the feeling though. This coming from a punk kid didn't scare him.
"The same feeling again! How interesting! So who rubbed off on who?" Kisame sneered at the boy who was crouched on the ground on all fours like an animal, eyes bloody red. Everything about him was starting to morph. Fangs, sharpening nails. Even the whisker-like birth marks on the side of his face was growing darker and wider, till they made the face look a strange, fitting, feral grimness only Naruto seemed to be able to pull off.
Naruto? You too? Haku stared. She was starting to feel a little left out now.
"You fucking PRICK! I shove your Goddamn sword down your throat!"
Kisame grinned and was about to welcome the challenge when Itachi interrupted. "Kisame. The Kyuubi is using the boy's anger as a catalyst to force his chakra through. At this rate, there is a possibility that the Seal might warp or break. End this quickly."
"Tch, fine. Just when I was having fun."
Naruto was already moving in a blink of an eye across the hallway, giving Kisame barely enough time to raise his sword to block the animal that was trying to scrabble over the surface of the sword and claw at his face. "No self control, brat! You don't learn anything from Tetsuya, do you?" Kisame shouted a command to his sword then, and Naruto, clinging to the surface, suddenly felt all the chakra rushing out of him too. In an instant, Kisame swung his sword, batting the boy down the hall again, and knocking him into Haku. The blow was hard against his skull, and while the sheer force of the chakra kept him self from having his face torn off, the blow rendered his unconsciousness as well, leaving Haku the only able party left. As she pushed her helpless friend off her, a shadow loomed atop her. Looking up, she watched Kisame raise his sword.
"This is IT!"
Just then, ninja smoke exploded between the two of them, and Kisame's sword smashed against the steel arm guards of an absolutely huge bipedal toad, instead of the expected female samurai. Kisame swore once more and jumped back.
"Too late."
Haku suddenly felt a presence behind her, and turned around, stuck somewhere between shock, surprise and disgust of him of all people.
Jiraiya the 50-year-old porn-peddling pervert posed like a kabuki actor, "Listen up, you unruly punks! You trick the great Jiraiya once with a woman under a spell, and now you attempt to damage a priceless specimen in front of the connoisseur of all female forms! You now face the glorious wrath of Gallant Jiraiya."
"Goddamn it. So now what, Itachi?"
"Fighting him would result in mutual destruction. The others would not be fond of a loss of two. Let us retreat for now."
"Got it."
Jiraiya snorted, hands flipping through a complex series of seals, "Your not going anywhere! Gamaguchi Shibari no Jutsu!" Smashing his palms into the ground, the entire hallway was suddenly encased in a tube of flesh, "You girl! Don't move unless you want to die!" Haku just watch dumbfounded as the muscle walls contracted inwards towards the escaping dark-cloaked pair, while tendrils chased them, determined to bind them to death. Just as it seemed the walls would crush the men, a shuddering explosion rocked the far wall around the corner.
Jiraiya glared, and chased down the hall, leaving Haku alone for a few precious seconds.
I have to get these two out of here! I can't trust that man! Haku immediately started calling more ice onto the floor so that dragging her two unconscious friends would be easier.
Too late. The old man returned from around the corner, grim look in his eyes. "Looks like they got away. As for you girl-"
"Shut up! Leave us alone! I-I don't know what you want with us, but your not taking Tetsuya-sensei or Naruto anywhere!" Haku shouted while letting a sword condensate into her hands.
Jiraiya sighed rather loudly at that. The last thing he needed to handle right now at the end of his patience were hysterical kids who wanted to be a hero.
For a 50-year-old man, Haku didn't even get a chance to blink as he slid behind her and smashed the side of his hand into the back of her neck. She didn't even realize she blacked out.
So Jiraiya snorted as he saw the third samurai crumple to the ground, leaving the entire party unconscious. Looks like trouble was picking up, seeing how things were.
Still, I didn't expect to see a Uzumaki brat again. He may be useful.
The first thing he needed to do was to get them all back to Konoha, where they'd be the safest.
Now, if he could just find another set of hands-
A kunai whirred past his face, distracting him long enough for a sleek form to jump into view, foot first.
"DYNAMIC! ENTRRRRYYYYY!"
"What the-"
Smack.
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Next Chapter: Is there no cure for the Sleeping Sickness? Is there no cure at all? There is. She just happens to be touring the world as we speak.
A/N: Everybody should come to Hong Kong. We celebrate both Labor Day and Buddha's Birthday on the same week! Not only do you get Japanese, American, and Chinese products in the same place, you get twice the number of holidays and celebrations here! It's because of that I get to have my two AP's taken a week apart, thus the breathing space I get to write this chapter!
The only thing is the horrid TV commercials. Seriously, Canadian and American commercials are hundreds of times better.
