Disclaimer: If I had any claim to Jess, do you really think I'd be sitting here typing this right now? I own nothing, much to my dismay. Though ASP can keep season 5 Rory. I don't want her.

A/N: Well, I have no idea where Bend And Not Break is going, which is great for those who are enjoying this story! I don't know how many more flashbacks I'm going to do. As many as it takes to establish Rory and Jess's relationship, I guess. I hope you all like this chapter. Let me know what you think!

Tres

Rory wiped steam off the mirror with the palm of her hand and stared hard at her reflection. Her eyes were still a little red, but they weren't swollen like they had been yesterday. Her wet hair hung in strands past her shoulders and she longed for something to pull it up. She wiped at her eyes as they threatened to tear up again.

"Let's try to not cry today." Rory told her reflection forcefully. It was then that she actually looked at herself as a whole for the first time. There were no identifiable differences to account for, yet Rory didn't even recognize herself. Since she was 20 years old, she'd used Logan to help define who she was. She was Logan's casual girlfriend, then she was his serious girlfriend, and then she was his fiancée. She was planning on being his wife. She wanted to be his wife. She loved him, and she wanted Logan to continue to help define her. She wanted to be his wife, the mother of his children. She wanted to be with him for the rest of her life. She thought that he wanted that too. Now that it wasn't going to happen, part of Rory was missing. She was supposed to be Logan's wife. Now she was just Rory again, and she didn't know how to be Rory anymore.

Rory sniffed tears back furiously and turned away from the mirror quickly. She wouldn't do this to herself. She wasn't ready to do this to herself. Besides, maybe he'd come back. Maybe it was all a mistake. Rory genuinely almost believed that things would still work out.

Rory opened the bathroom door, allowing all the steam to escape with her. She stepped out and looked for Jess. She found him in the corner of living room, typing on his laptop.

"Look at you, being a writer." Rory said, coming up behind him.

Jess turned around and chuckled at the site Rory made. She was wearing a pair of his jeans which dropped low on her hips, even with the belt she was using to hold them up. She'd had to create a new hole in it to make it small enough. She was wearing a black, button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows.

"You look anorexic."

Rory shrugged. "I'm not trying to impress anyone." She sat down on the couch. "How's the draft coming?"

"That depends. Are you asking as my editor or my friend?"

"Friend." Rory said. The word still felt strange when she was referring to Jess. It was still so bizarre that things had changed between them the way they had.

"Well, since you're asking as my friend, I can tell you that I'm not where I'm supposed to be. But my editor is off for the next two weeks, so I have plenty of time to catch up." Jess said, standing up and stretching. He sat next to Rory on the couch with a small smile.

Rory smirked but it was sad. "I should be on a plane right now, overlooking the ocean on my way to paradise."

"Where were you going to honeymoon?" Jess asked.

"Fiji." Rory said. "It's supposed to be beautiful this time of year. Besides Europe, I've never been anywhere. I really wanted to go. I wanted to…"

"Say it." Jess commanded gently. "You'll feel better if you say it."

Rory looked up at Jess, meeting his eyes for the first time that morning. "I wanted to be married." She looked down at her engagement ring, then back at Jess with tears in her eyes. "I don't feel any better." She whispered.

Jess hesitated thoughtfully, and finally threw an arm casually around Rory's shoulders. He hugged her to him gently and said, "I didn't say you'd feel better right away. You will though. I promise."

Rory let her head drop against Jess's shoulder. "I really love him, you know."

Jess nodded. "I know you do."

"We had a house picked out." Rory said, shifting positions so she could look at him while she talked. She sat down on her knees, tucking her hands under her. The position gave her the appearance of an eager child. "We had this perfect colonial house picked out. It's right on the outskirts of the city so it's close to work for both of us. Three bedrooms besides the master one and a study that's lined with the most gorgeous bookshelves you've ever seen. It's the perfect house, and it's perfect to raise a family in."

Jess immediately picked up her switch to present tense. Part of her still thought it was all going to happen. Jess hoped that things did work out, but didn't see much hope for a relationship where the groom bailed on his wedding day.

"It sounds nice." Jess said, as noncommittally as he could.

Rory nodded. "It is nice." She thought for a moment and her shoulders sagged. "It would've been nice."

Jess tightened his grip on Rory's shoulders. "Are you still hungry?" He asked.

Rory nodded, afraid that actually speaking would allow the tears to spill.

"Me too." Jess said. "Let's go grocery shopping."

Rory turned to Jess with one eyebrow raised. "Grocery shopping?"

Jess shrugged. "I told you that I didn't have anymore food here. You can wait here if you want, but I have to go shopping."

Rory hesitated. The thought of being alone right now terrified her. She had no idea what she would do. She nodded. "Alright." She said with a shrug. "Let's go grocery shopping."


"Cookies?" Rory asked, holding up a package of Chips Ahoy.

Jess shrugged. "Toss them in."

Rory smiled and placed the cookies in the cart that Jess was pushing. He grabbed a canister of peanuts off the shelf and put them in the cart too. They turned down the next aisle, which happened to be the canned food aisle.

"Oh!" Rory exclaimed. "Spaghetti-Os are two for a dollar!"

Jess made a disgusted face. "You eat Spaghetti-Os?"

Rory looked at him innocently. "You don't?"

"No." Jess said, still making a face. "They're absolutely disgusting. How can you put that in your body?"

"They're delicious." Rory said as if it was obvious, picking up two cans.

"Maybe to a five-year-old." Jess said, "And probably to a college student. A 26-year-old woman should not be eating Spaghetti-Os."

Rory pouted and put the cans back on the shelf, walking ahead with her head and shoulders sagging.

Jess sighed and picked up the cans she'd put down. He put them in the cart, but not before making another disgusted face at them. Rory turned around just as he did and smiled brightly at him. "Thank you." She said.

"You're the one who's going to be eating them tonight." Jess said with a shrug. He reached up and grabbed a can of green beans and two cans of carrots.

"Eww." Rory said, wrinkling up her nose. "What are you buying those for?"

"Because besides feeding you for the rest of the day, I'm also doing my shopping for the week." Jess said, putting the vegetables in the shopping cart. "And I like vegetables."

"Weird." Rory said, shaking her head. "Ooh! Candy aisle!"

Jess rolled his eyes. "Oh God." He said in mock annoyance. Secretly, he was glad that she had her mind off Logan and her botched wedding for the time being. The smile she'd flashed when he put the Spaghetti-Os in the cart had been genuine for the first time since yesterday. If letting her pick out food that he was never going to eat made her smile, then he'd let her pick out all the candy and disgusting canned foods that she wanted.

Rory returned to the cart with a bag of lollipops, a few bags of Skittles, several boxes of Red Vines and two huge chocolate bars. "Do you want anything?" She asked.

Jess laughed. "No. I like having all my own teeth."

Rory shrugged. "Fine." She turned back to the aisle and stopped dead in her tracks.

"Rory? What is it?" Jess asked, following her eyes. They were glued to a bag of miniature Milky Ways. "We can get those too."

"No." Rory said shaking her head. "They're just…Logan really loves Milky Ways."

She delicately lifted the bag up and stared at it for a long moment. She placed it in the cart next to the other candy. She looked up at Jess and her smile had turned painfully sad. "Are we done?" She asked hopefully.

Jess nodded. "Yeah. Let's just go grab some orange juice and we'll be done. And hey, how about we buy some Easy Mac?"

Rory nodded slowly. "You like Easy Mac?" She asked.

"No." Jess responded with a shrug.

Rory smiled softly, but lowered her head so her hair veiled the gesture. "Ok." She whispered.


"Where does the coffee go?" Rory asked, pulling the canister out of a paper bag.

"Just toss it on the counter." Jess said, putting some cans away. He left the Spaghetti-Os out so he could make them for Rory later.

"What time is it?" Rory asked as she took a bite of one of her candy bars.

Jess glanced at his watch. "Almost 4." He said.

Rory nodded. "Can I use your phone? I should call my mom."

"Sure." Jess said, not looking at her. "It's in the bedroom. Go for it."

Rory wandered into the bedroom and picked up the phone. She sat on the bed and stared at the handset for a moment before she dialed her mother's cell phone number with shaky fingers.

The phone rang once before her mother answered. "Hello?" Her voice asked, sounding nervous.

"Hi, mom." Rory said quietly.

"Rory!" Lorelai said her name with a relieved sigh. "Thank God. Where are you? Are you OK?"

"I'm fine, mom." Rory said. "Well, I'm physically fine."

"I found the note that Logan left." Lorelai said. "And Colin told us that the jerk ran off. I'm so sorry, baby."

Rory didn't say anything, just sniffled a little. After a moment, Lorelai continued, "But you really shouldn't have been surprised."

"Mom!" Rory exclaimed tearfully.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to sound unfeeling, because I'm not. I'm just saying…"

Don't say it, don't say it. Rory silently pleaded.

"I told you so." Lorelai said quietly.

Tears poured out of Rory's eyes and she could hear her mother on the other end of the phone. "Rory? Rory are you there?"

Rory sniffed again and said, "Yeah."

"Where are you, baby? We went to your apartment, and to the house you and Logan bought."

"I'm not there." Rory whispered between sobs.

"I noticed. Where are you?" Lorelai asked. "We'll come get you. Everyone's been so worried, and so mad about what that jerk did to you."

That jerk was the man Rory was in love with, and it hurt to hear the contempt in her mother's voice.

"I swear, I'll kill him next time I see him." Rory continued vehemently. "If he thinks he can do this to you…"

"Mom, stop." Rory wailed into the phone. "I love him."

"He's scum." Lorelai said, almost as if Rory hadn't spoken. "He ran away on your wedding day. Look, babe, we'll talk about everything later. Just tell me where you are so I can come get you."

Rory sobbed some more as she thought of having to hear her mother criticize Logan. Hearing it over the phone was painful enough. She couldn't imagine having to see her mom's face as she said 'I told you so.'

"No." Rory whispered into the phone before hanging up. Almost immediately, the phone rang again and Rory cursed the invention of caller ID. She held the phone in her hands, letting it ring shrilly.

Jess walked into the room, confused. "Gonna answer that?"

Rory looked up at her tearfully with a shake of her head. "It's my mom, and I can't."

Jess nodded and took the phone from her. He turned it on and said, "Hola?" in a fairly horrible Spanish accent.

"Umm, is Rory there?" Lorelai asked, confused.

"Rory?" Jess asked, still in the accent.

Rory looked up at Jess, amazed and confused by what he was doing.

"Yes, Rory." Lorelai said impatiently.

"Lo siento. Esto es un telefono pagado." Jess said, his accent strengthening and sounding better as he continued speaking.

"What?" Lorelai asked, confused and annoyed. "En ingles, por favor?" It was the only Spanish that she knew.

"How you say…paid telephone?" Jess said.

"Oh! A payphone. Gracias." Lorelai said as she hung up.

Jess hung the phone up and looked at Rory with a grin. "There we go. That's taken care of."

Rory looked at Jess with big, teary eyes for a moment before she started to laugh. She laughed loudly and said, "That was the worst Spanish accent ever."

Jess sat next to Rory on the bed and said, "It's good to hear you laugh."

Rory immediately stopped laughing, and sniffed back a few tears. "She said 'I told you so.' I knew she was going to say it."

Jess sighed. "I'm sorry."

Rory sniffed again. "For what?"

Jess shrugged. "That you didn't get married. That things didn't work out the way you wanted them to."

Rory looked at Jess, shocked by the sincerity in his voice. "I can tell you mean that."

"Of course." Jess said, putting his arm around Rory. Rory leaned into the casual hug and dropped her head on Jess's shoulder.

"Thank you, Jess. Thank you for not asking questions and for just being here for me." Rory said hoarsely, ready to cry again.

"Don't worry about it." Jess said, petting her hair gently. "That's what friends are for, right?"

Rory sighed shakily and nodded into Jess's shoulder. "Right."


Rory took a sip of her coffee, and then held the mug in her hands. "So…" She said tentatively, looking up at Jess.

"So." Jess said, stirring sugar into his coffee. "Here we are."

"Yeah." Rory said with a nod. "Here we are."

"How are your mom and Luke?" Jess asked awkwardly.

"Good." Rory said, smiling. "They've been married for four years now. Their son William is so cute. He's almost three."

Jess nodded. "I haven't seen them since the wedding. I talk to Luke on the phone every couple of months, but I can't make myself go back to Stars Hollow to visit."

"You should." Rory said. "Meet your cousin."

"Who's also your brother." Jess said, shaking his head. "Weird. You and I are step-cousins."

Rory laughed. "Who would've thought?"

Jess shrugged. "I always knew your mom and Luke would get together. It was so obvious."

Rory nodded. "Everyone knew but them, I guess. So, did you ever end up going back to school?"

Jess chuckled. "Not so good at making a segue, are you? I took writing classes, but I never got a high school diploma or anything. All I wanted to do was write. What about you? A Yale graduate, class of 2007?"

"2008." Rory corrected quietly, looking at her hands. "I took a year off."

"Cool." Jess said. "A lot of people to that. What'd you do for that year?"

"I lived with my grandparents, bummed around, did some community service to avoid jail time…" Rory trailed off.

Jess's eyebrows practically shot off his head. "Jail time? Rory Gilmore, I'm impressed. What'd you do?"

Rory blushed. "I stole a boat."

Jess laughed loudly at the image of Rory stealing a boat. "I want to record you saying that and play it back when I feel depressed." He said, wiping tears from his eyes.

Rory smiled slightly, more at Jess's laughter than his comment. She'd never heard him laugh so hard. He was happy. Jess Mariano was happy with life. It was a day Rory had never thought she'd see.

Jess noticed Rory staring at him and cocked his head to the side. "What?" He asked.

"You." Rory said. "You're so…different."

Jess just shrugged at the comment, prompting Rory to respond, "OK, maybe you haven't changed entirely."

Jess smirked. "Everybody grows up, Rory. Everybody changes, whether you want to believe it or not."

There it was. The bitterness in his voice betrayed his demeanor, and Rory knew that the comment referred back to the night he'd wanted her to run away with him. She knew it was only a matter of time before they'd hit this snag. It was part of the reason she asked him out for coffee. She wanted to get it over with.

"It wasn't that I didn't believe you changed, Jess. It was a ridiculous offer. You never should've come to my dorm that night. You have no right to be mad that I said no."

Jess looked ready to fire back a comment, but then the storm in his eyes calmed. "You're right. It just still feels so natural to get mad about it, because I was mad about it for a long time."

"And what stopped that?" Rory asked, curious.

"I realized that I never loved you." Jess responded.

"Oh." Rory said, disappointed for some reason. She'd loved him once, and believed that he loved her back. It sort of hurt to know that he hadn't felt the same way.

"You never loved me either." Jess continued, as if reading her mind. Rory's head snapped up.

"What?" She asked, somewhat annoyed by his assumption.

Jess sighed and tried to think of the best way to explain his thoughts. "We were in love with these ideals we had about each other. I built you up in my head to be this person that you weren't, and I know you did the same about me. We had this amazing passion and a lot in common, so we wanted to believe it was love. It wasn't. I know that now."

Rory sat in silence as she digested Jess's words. He was right. She knew he was. It was the reason it had been so easy for her to forget him when he went to California, and again when he left her dorm that night. They'd never really been in love.

Rory looked up at Jess again, and saw that he was waiting for a response. "Do you remember when I came to visit you here and we spent the day at that music store and just hanging out?"

Jess nodded. "Yeah."

"And do you remember sitting on the bridge, talking about books?"

"Of course." Jess said.

Rory smiled. "We were friends."

"Yeah." Jess responded. "We were."

"I liked that." Rory said, hoping he understood what she was getting at.

Jess smiled. "So did I." After a moment, he continued, "We could do that again. You know, be friends?"

Rory smiled back at him. "I'd like that."

"Yeah, me too." Jess said. He raised his coffee mug and said, "Friends?"

Rory raised hers and tapped it lightly against Jess's. "Yeah. Friends."