Disclaimer: It's not my world, I just want to live in it )
A/N: OK, first and foremost, you all rock so much! Thanks for the HUGE response I'm getting to this story, and please keep those reviews coming. Secondly, I've gotten a lot of questions about whether or not this is going to be a literati story. I honestly can't say if Rory and Jess are going to end up more than friends. You're just going to have to keep reading. I CAN however guarantee that she will not end up with icky Logan. Finally, this will probably be the last update for a bit because I'm working on a story for the Gilmore Girls ficathon on LJ, and that has a deadline, so it has to come first. Don't worry though, it isn't a Rory/Jess story, so I'm sure whenever I get bored with it, I'll be working on this one ) OK, that's it. Enjoy and review!
Quattro
"Love means never having to say you're sorry." Rory whispered along with Ali McGraw. She was sitting on Jess's couch with a container of ice cream, watching Love Story on television.
Jess rolled his eyes. "Lame," He said matter-of-factly, sneaking his spoon into Rory's ice cream.
"It is not lame." Rory said, eyes filling up with tears. "It's beautiful."
"It's lame." Jess repeated. "Forget the fact that this is the cheesiest movie ever, and just focus on that line and the fact that it makes absolutely no sense."
Rory ate a spoonful of ice cream and said, "It's the whole thought behind it though. She loves him so much that she doesn't need an apology."
Jess craftily took another spoonful of ice cream without Rory noticing and slid it quickly into his mouth. He swallowed and said, "You're only saying that because you're wallowing. You know that if you were in a good mood, you'd totally be mocking this movie with me."
Rory shook her head. "I love this movie. Besides, you aren't affectively letting me wallow. You keep making conversation and that is not part of the wallowing process."
Jess shrugged. "You're the one who's wallowing, not me."
"But you're supposed to let me wallow." Rory said as if it was obvious.
"Don't you think it makes more sense to get your mind off of it instead of letting you wallow in misery?" Jess argued, dipping into the ice cream again. This time, Rory caught him and slapped his hand away.
"I used to think that too." Rory said. "But after Dean and I broke up-."
"Which time?" Jess asked, rolling his eyes at the mention of Dean.
"The first." Rory continued. "I tried to take my mind off things. I ended up kissing another guy and then having a mini nervous breakdown."
"But I'm bored!" Jess complained. "Can't you wallow while we watch something else? Or while we play Super Nintendo? Come on. Nothing says 'wallow' like a few good games of Mario Kart." He stuck his lower lip out childishly and gave Rory puppy eyes.
Rory smiled at him. He wasn't going to let her wallow her way. He was far too impatient to put up with anymore chick flicks. "Ok." She said. "We'll play Mario Kart. I can't believe you have a Super Nintendo."
Jess shrugged and picked up the controllers. He handed one to Rory before putting the game in and turning on the system. "This is classic gaming right here."
Rory chose her character and said, "You'd better let me win."
Jess laughed. "You wish. I have no sympathy, even for pathetic, heartbroken girls like you."
Rory smiled in spite of herself at his comment. "Asshole." She murmured.
"Oh, I haven't heard that one before." Jess replied sarcastically.
"Start the game." Rory murmured, ready to play.
"Ha!" Rory said, tossing the controller down. "That's the seventeenth game in a row that I won!"
Jess shrugged. "Well, you told me to let you win."
"Shut up." Rory said, knocking into him with her shoulder and yawning. "You know you were making an attempt. I'm just better than you."
"Well, that may be true, but I'll never admit to it." Jess said, studying Rory. "You look tired."
Rory nodded. "A little."
"You should get some sleep." Jess said, standing up and turning the console off. "Because tomorrow I'm going to take you home."
Rory nodded and stood. She stretched her tired limbs and said, "Yeah. Have I said thank you yet, Jess?"
Jess smirked as he put the controllers away. "Only about a million times."
"Well, thank you." Rory repeated for the million and first time.
"Not necessary." Jess said, facing her. "Why don't you sleep in my bed? I'll crash on the couch."
"Are you sure?" Rory asked unsurely.
Jess nodded. "I'm sure. You need a good night's rest more than I do. Go ahead, go get some sleep."
Rory smiled sleepily at him and nodded. "You're a good friend, Jess." She whispered before padding off into his bedroom.
Jess banged on the door to his bedroom loudly. "Wake up, Rory!" He yelled.
Inside the room, he heard some garbled noises. He opened the door and smirked at the sight Rory made as she sat up in his bed, her hair all over the place and her eyes heavy with sleep.
"Morning." Jess said, leaning against the door with an amused grin.
Rory peered at him through her disheveled hair and mumbled something unintelligible.
"Come on, get your ass out of my bed. I made you breakfast, and then I'm taking you home." Jess said with a smile.
Home. Rory thought sadly. There was no home. There was her apartment, but there was no one waiting there for her. You needed someone waiting for you to make it a home. Rory firmly believed that. She'd been waiting to go home with Logan for five years, and now it wasn't going to happen. She was never going to have a home. Rory sighed. She couldn't let Jess know that. He'd done so much for her already. She couldn't let him know how scared she was to go back to her apartment and be by herself. She couldn't rely on him to take care of her anymore.
Rory looked up at Jess and nodded. "OK. Let me get dressed and I'll be right out."
Jess nodded. "Take your time. I made bacon." He said.
Rory's eyes lit up a little. "I'll be out even faster."
Jess smiled and closed the door to let her change. He walked back to the kitchen to make up a plate for her. He wouldn't admit it, but he'd like having her there the day before. She was emotional and that was pretty awkward and not the most fun, but in the few moments when she'd forgotten why she was at his apartment, it'd been fun having her around. It'd been so long since he'd had a friend around him for that long and he'd enjoyed it. For the first time, he was realizing how much he missed having Rory as a friend. He was glad that she had come to him because it meant that they were truly past any awkwardness from their past together. He only wished that the circumstances were…well, anything else. When he answered the door to find her there, a wet, miserable, destroyed shell, his heart absolutely broke for her. He hated to see her destroyed, which was why he hadn't asked any questions and just tried to be a friend for her. Now she was doing a little better, it was time for her to face the real world and go home. She couldn't hide at his place forever.
Jess heard the bedroom door open and turned around. He laughed loudly at Rory and the sight she made. She was wearing one of his old Metallica T-shirts with a pair of black shorts that went down past her knees. She had her feet in a pair of flip-flops that were far too big for her small feet. She had her hair out of her face with an old red bandana of his.
"Congratulations. You've officially topped yesterday's outfit." Jess said, still laughing. "I'm never going to look at my clothes the same way again."
Rory smiled a small smile. "If you think you're getting these shorts back, you're crazy. They are so comfy. I'm never taking them off."
Jess rolled his eyes and handed her a full plate of food. "Eat. We've gotta get going."
"Why so desperate to get rid of me?" Rory demanded, feeling a little hurt. She sat down with her plate.
"I'm not desperate to get rid of you." Jess replied. "But I do have a lot of work to do, and Paige is coming back to New York today so I was going to spend some time with her."
"Oh." Rory nodded. "Of course. I completely kept you away from your life the last couple of days. I'm so sorry." She used her fork to toy with her eggs.
'Don't do that." Jess said with a sigh. "You didn't keep me from anything. I was glad to have you here, Rory. If I didn't want to help, I would've kicked you out. Don't you dare apologize for needing a friend." He sat next to her. "You can't hide here though, Rory. We both know that."
Rory nodded. "I know. Let's have breakfast, and then we'll go."
Jess smiled at his friend. "OK. Let's eat. I made way too much bacon so I hope you're hungry."
Rory smiled. "Hi, have we met? Bring on the bacon!"
"Nice building." Jess said with an approving nod as he and Rory walked up the steps.
"Thanks." Rory murmured quietly. To Jess it may have looked like a nice, normal apartment building, but to Rory it looked like a huge, stone monster ready to devour her.
Rory looked at the large glass doors and realized that she didn't have a key. It was packed away in her luggage, which was at her and Logan's would-be house, ready to be picked up and taken to the airport, even though now it never would be. She had a spare key, but ironically, it was in her apartment.
"I can pick the lock." Jess offered helpfully, realizing where Rory's train of thought was.
Rory shook her head. "That wouldn't go over so well." She said quietly. She looked over at the list of names and the buttons next to them, wondering which of her neighbors to call on for assistance. She scanned the list for a long moment before finally pressing a button.
"Hello?" A voice crackled over the intercom.
'Hi Mrs. Preston. It's Rory Gilmore from next door. I don't have my key. Could you buzz me in please?"
"Of course, darling." Mrs. Preston said, sounding very confused. There was a buzzing sound and the click of the door unlocking. Rory stepped in. Jess followed close behind her, even though she didn't ask him to.
The entered the lobby of the building and Rory silently shuffled over to the elevator and pressed the up button. Rory and Jess stepped into the elevator and Rory pressed the button for the tenth floor. The elevator moved slowly up and finally the doors opened. Rory shuffled out of the elevator, still followed by a silent Jess.
A door opened and woman in her 40s stepped out in the hall. She had perfectly styled blonde hair and designer reading glasses perched on her long nose. "Rory, darling! Your mother has been here several times looking for you. I'm so sorry about the wedding, Rory. Dreadful thing that is." She looked behind Rory at Jess and her mouth curved up into a small smile. "Though it looks like you're recovering nicely."
Rory smiled weakly at the woman. "Thanks, Mrs. Preston. I'm going to go inside now."
"Of course, darling." Mrs. Preston replied, still eying up Jess. "If you need me though, you just give a yell." With one last long look at the young man who'd accompanied Rory, she stepped back into her apartment.
"That was damn near terrifying." Jess commented, shuddering. "Which apartment is yours?"
Rory nodded towards the door marked 10E. She reached up to the top of the doorframe and removed the key to her door. She inserted it into the lock and pushed the door open quietly. She entered her apartment, and allowed Jess to enter as well before closing the door again.
Jess looked around Rory's apartment curiously, having never been there before. It was twice the size of his. The living room was home to a large television and a leather sofa and recliner, and she had a dining room. Her kitchen was the size of his bedroom, and he couldn't even imagine what her bedroom looked like.
"You've got it made, kid." Jess said, looking around.
Rory shrugged and looked around her apartment. Her gaze fell on the couch, where she and Logan had made love more times than she could count. They'd start with the intentions of making their way to her bedroom, but many times their passion was too intense for them to make it.
Rory tore her gaze away from the sofa to the television, which had been a gift from Logan. He said they needed something bigger to watch movies on, especially classic mocking movies like Crossroads and Glitter. Rory's eyes began to tear up as she thought about movie mocking with Logan. It was almost always one-sided. Rory would mock mercilessly while Logan laughed at her commentary. He wasn't one for mocking movies that he didn't like. He preferred to sit silently, but every now and then, he'd come up with a comment so good that it would keep Rory laughing for days afterwards.
Rory's lip began to quiver as her eyes fell on the end table. There were two framed photos on it. One was of her, Lorelai, and Luke on their wedding day. The other was her and Logan's engagement picture. Logan was sitting on a very ornate chair while Rory sat in his lap with her head resting on his shoulder. The photograph was just casual enough that it didn't look awkward, but still professional enough that both her grandparents and Logan's parents approved of it. The two looked good together. They looked happy.
Rory crossed the space slowly and picked up the photograph. The tears began to spill from her eyes without her even realizing. They splattered on the glass of the frame. Rory felt suddenly lightheaded, and her knees buckled and gave out.
She didn't hit the ground. She landed in Jess's arms and began to sob noisily and uncontrollably. Jess tried to calm her by rubbing her back. Rory suddenly started fighting against him, thrashing against his form. The photograph fell from her hands, and the frame smashed into pieces.
"It's wrong!" Rory screamed through her tears. "It's wrong, it's wrong, it's wrong! It wasn't supposed to happen like this. He was supposed to marry me!" She continued to beat her tiny fists against Jess's shoulders as she wept. "He was supposed to love me."
Finally, Rory stopped assaulting Jess. She dropped her hands to her sides and tears continued to fall from her eyes and her shoulders shook violently.
Jess tentatively put a hand on her back. "Get your clothes." He said firmly.
"What?" Rory asked, not looking up at him.
"Get your clothes." Jess repeated, holding Rory at arm's length so he could look at her. "Get your laptop, your keys, anything you need."
"Jess…" Rory said, confused. She couldn't even see him through the film of tears covering her eyes. She was about to ask him what he was talking about with another burst of sobs overtook her body and she began to convulse as tears poured from her eyes.
"You can't stay here, Rory." Jess said, taking her chin and forcing her to look at him. He wiped the tears away from her face and said, "I know I said you couldn't hide, but you can't stay here either. It's been less than five minutes and you're already falling apart again. I can't let that happen to you."
"Jess…" Rory started, stepping away from him and turning away. "I…"
"Know that you can't be alone." Jess finished for her. "Especially not here."
Rory sighed and deflated. He was right and she knew he was right. When she'd been with Jess, she'd been comfortable and able to hold herself together. The moment she returned here though, that feeling completely left her. She was sad and depressed and terrified and angry. She knew if Jess left her here by herself, then she'd completely break down.
She turned back to Jess, tears still welling up. "You're sure?"
Jess looked at her seriously and said, "Did the Beats revolutionize great writing?"
Rory let out a laugh that sounded more like a twisted form of a sob. She rubbed at her damp eyes and said, "Most of my clothes are at the house. All that's left here is a few business suits and the stuff I don't really wear anymore."
Jess shrugged. "Who are you trying to impress?"
"How long?" Rory asked, knowing that this couldn't be a permanent arrangement.
Jess shrugged again and smirked. "Until you can come to your apartment and not cry. How does that sound?"
Rory thought about it for a long moment even though she knew that this was the best thing for her, even if it wasn't the healthiest of decisions. She nodded. "OK."
"Do you really think this is going to be OK?" Rory asked Jess as she folded some clothes and put them in the bottom drawer of his dresser, which he had cleared out of him.
Jess shrugged as he made some room in the wardrobe for her. "I think this is probably the most ridiculous idea I've ever had, but I also know that it's what you need. You can't deal with that life right now. I get that."
"You're the only one." Rory murmured bitterly.
Jess shrugged. "I guess I'm special."
"Oh, so many comebacks."
Jess laughed. "Do you want to go pull a 'Liv Tyler in Empire Records freak out moment' alone in your apartment? Because it can easily be arranged."
"No thank you, sir." Rory said, pleased that Jess could joke about this with her. Anyone else would be trying to completely shelter and placate her, but Jess still wasn't afraid to tell it like it was. He knew that while she was fragile, she didn't need to be treated like a doll.
Jess tossed some of his clothes onto the bed and turned to face Rory. "I don't know how this is going to work out." He said honestly. "But, this is what we're doing. Plus, now you can read over my shoulder and tell me how much I suck as I'm writing. Doesn't that sound fun?"
Rory grabbed a pile of T-shirts and put them in the drawer. "Sounds like fun." She agreed. "Although you don't suck. What sucks is the fact that you write all of your new ideas on your hand and then can't read them afterwards. I mean, I really think that we should find out if that word was 'kill' or 'cake'.
Jess shrugged. "I really think it was 'kill.'
"You say that now." Rory replied. "But when Antonio's fifth birthday party takes a murderous turn, boy will your face be red."
"So will my editor's." Jess retorted, smiling.
"Touché." Rory murmured.
Jess touched her shoulder lightly. "I'm going to go into the living room and let you finish up. If you need me, holler for me. Or at least fall loud enough that I'll hear the thud."
Rory nodded. She opened her mouth to speak, but Jess held up his hand.
"If the next words out of your mouth are any variation of 'thank you,' I'm going to kick you in the shins."
Rory shrugged and instead said, "Would you put some coffee on?"
Jess nodded. "You got it." He said as he walked out of the room.
Rory closed the full drawer and sat down on the bed. She folded her hands in her lap and looked around her. Her eyes fell on Jess's bookcases, which were completely full. She smiled softly as she scanned the familiar titles. The sight of so many old friends was a comfort to her. She knew that she'd definitely be catching up on her reading while she was here. She wasn't worried about reading reminding her of Logan. Reading had never been something that she and Logan shared.
Rory sighed and fell back on the bed, looking up at Jess's ceiling. There were several large cracks in the plaster. Rory laid her hands flat on her stomach and closed her eyes. This was wrong. This wasn't supposed to be her life. She wasn't supposed to be here. And with Jess! Of all the people in the world, Jess was the only one she could rely on. Who would've thought? Certainly not Rory. That's how it was though. Her world fell apart, and Jess was the only one who cared enough to help her pick up the pieces. He was the only one who she could count on not to make her feel bad.
She didn't want to rely on Jess for this. She felt guilty that she was letting him do this for her, and part of her couldn't believe that he was doing all this for her. They had agreed to be friends again, and they had certainly adhered to that agreement. They met for coffee or went to movies or to bookstores and they always had a good time. They talked about books, music, movies, and on rare occasions, their personal lives. This, though, went beyond any level of friendship they'd ever experienced. This was a camaraderie that she'd ever only shared with her mother and Lane. Of all the people she ever thought would completely and selflessly be willing to save her, Jess was never even on that list. But, here they were. Rory could only hope that this wouldn't do anything to ruin the friendship they'd struggled to build and that they wouldn't end up wanting to kill each other because of this new arrangement. She also hoped that Jess's girlfriend wouldn't want to kick her ass.
Rory sat up and looked around Jess's room again. Her gaze fell to the corner of the room, where her ruined wedding dress was lying in a crumpled pile. It had been really beautiful before it had been ruined in the rain. Rory loved the way it hugged her slim figure before flowing out regally. She felt beautiful in it, and she felt loved. It absolutely broke her heart that now, when she looked at it, all she felt was pain. That's not the way it was supposed to be. It was supposed to be a symbol of her new life with Logan, not her new life all by herself.
Rory flung herself off the bed and over to her dress. She picked it up in her hands, noticing that the material was still damp from her run through New York City. She hugged it to herself tightly, feeling almost nauseous with her misery. She dropped down on her knees with the dress in her hands, ready to cry. She managed to resist the urge though, holding back her tears. She crawled back over to the bed, and shoved the wedding dress under it forcefully. She stood and brushed off the front of her clothes, well, Jess's clothes as she still hadn't changed out of the ridiculous Metallica T-shirt and oversized shorts.
She hung up the rest of her clothes quickly, making sure Jess still had enough room for all of his. She was going to try to be as small of a hassle for him as she could be. She looked around the room again, feeling suddenly empty. This was wrong. This wasn't where she belonged, and it was probably a mistake. Rory wanted to be able to walk out of the room, thank Jess for being so nice, and go back to her apartment. But she couldn't do that, and she knew she couldn't. She couldn't be alone, and she couldn't go to her mother. This was it. This was where she had to be.
"Please." Rory pleaded aloud, twisting her engagement ring nervously. "Let this be OK." The tears welled up again as she finished silently, "Please let Logan come back for me."
She cursed herself for having the thought, but knew that it was one she'd be having often. She wanted him to come back and explain away the pain and the hurt she was feeling. She wanted him to come back so she could forgive him. She wanted him to come back. She knew she should be mad, but that hadn't come yet. All she felt was extreme sadness.
Rory wiped at her damp eyes. She padded out of the room and into the living room. Jess was sitting at the computer, typing something.
"All set." Rory said, coming up behind him.
"I've got good news." Jess said, not looking at her.
"Yeah?" Rory asked shakily. "I could use some."
Jess turned around in his chair with a small smile. "It's raining in Fiji."
Rory's mouth turned up into a smile just in time to catch the tears that were spilling from her eyes.
