Disclaimer: My imagination and my college debt belongs to me. Alas, nothing else is mine.

A/N: This was really fun to write, so I hope youall enjoy it. Comments are amazing and terribly fabulous. As for my chapter length debate, we're just gonna take it as it comes. This is longer than the last one, but not as long as normal. Enjoy!

Song download of the moment is I Want to Be Buried in Your Backyard by Nightmare of You.

Doce

"Mom, stop!" Rory exclaimed, exasperated. She was watching her mother pace back and forth across the hospital room. "You're making the recovering girl nauseous."

"It isn't right." Lorelai said. She stopped her pacing and looked at Rory. "You should come home."

"Mom…" Rory sighed, "I can't run and hide in Stars Hollow just because I have a problem. I have to recover."

"Oh, your ankle will heal just as well back home, as long as you don't let Ms. Patty talk you into dance classes. A lesson we learned when you were five, and Idoubt that you need to relearn." Lorelai said, beginning her frustrated pacing again.

"That isn't what I meant and you know it." Rory said, drawing her injured arm across her chest and holding the cast protectively with her good hand. "My work is here. I'm this close to sending Jess's book to press, and I really think that it's going to put him, Rand Florin, and me on the literary map. I can't just bail out because the rest of my life sucks."

Lorelai stopped mid-pace. She looked at her daughter with skepticism and more amusement than she'd ever admit. "Babe, don't lie to mommy about it, OK? You aren't staying for work. You're staying for Jess."

"What?" Rory asked. "That's ridiculous!"

Lorelai smiled at Rory and walked over to the bed. She motioned for Rory to move over, and she sat down next to her daughter on the bed. "Look, we've got 26 years, 14 hours of labor and about a zillion fights between us. I think we're past pretense. Agreed?"

Rory nodded. "Agreed."

"So level with me, kid. What's the deal with you and Jess?" Lorelai asked.

Rory thought for a long moment. "He helped me when I didn't think I had anywhere else to go. He has sacrificed his entire life to help me with mine. He's become this completely different person from the one I knew in Stars Hollow." Rory smiled and toyed with her cast. "He's my best friend."

"Oh God." Lorelai said, bringing a hand to her mouth in nervousness. "You're in love with him."

Rory laughed, trying not to let on how much her mom's words sent her mind spinning with new thoughts. "Mom! No, I'm not! I'm just…extremely aware of what a good friend he's been to me."

"Uh-huh." Lorelai said, not believing a word of it. "You love him. Oh God, I think I'm going to be sick."

Rory rolled his eyes. "Mom, you're being ridiculous. Why can't a man and woman be really good friends without there being some sort of secondary agenda getting in the way of it?"

"Well, ignoring the fact that it's biologically impossible and that I've never seen it happen in my entire life--which is much longer than yours by the way--, let's just focus on the fact that it's you and Jess. He never wanted to be your friend. He had a secondary agenda the whole time. He always wanted to be more, even when you had a boyfriend." Lorelai said logically.

"How old were we, mom? Seventeen. It was nine years ago! Look at how much has changed. We're different people. Do you think that any of this would have happened then? Do you think that back then Jess is the one I would've ran to? Do you think he would've even considered helping me so selflessly? Everything is different now. Why don't you believe that?" Rory asked her mom.

Lorelai sighed and rested her hand on top of her daughter's good arm. "Because one thing that hasn't changed is my overpowering desire to protect you. I'm afraid you're going to get hurt even more. I know right now it doesn't seem like that's possible, but trust me, it is."

"I probably will." Rory said with a shrug. "There's got to be some more heartache embedded in there somewhere. I've got a lot of life left ahead of me."

Lorelai nodded. "And how much of it do you want to spend with Jess?"

Rory opened her mouth to answer, to tell her mother that this entire situation was temporary and soon Jess would be out of her life again. However, she couldn't believe the words she heard herself speak. "I don't know yet."

"Well, with conviction like that, what do I have to worry about?" Lorelai asked sarcastically.

Rory laughed thoughtfully, trying to keep the gravity of everything from hitting her full force. She dropped her head on her mother's shoulder and allowed Lorelai to stroke her hair for a little while.


"I'm surprised your mom didn't want to see the apartment." Jess said, unlocking the door and pushing it open. He stood to the side and let Rory hobble past him on her crutches.

"I think she was afraid to." Rory commented. "Or she broke in while you were at the hospital to scope the place …" Rory trailed off, her eyes on the kitchen counter. "Out." She finally finished, her eyes scanning the entire apartment.

Jess smiled to himself as he closed the door, knowing exactly what she was looking at.

"Jess…" Rory said, looking around the apartment. There was a bag of gourmet coffee on every possible surface. They covered the countertops and the living room table, and there was a bag on every chair, as well as three on the sofa.

"Huh." Jess said, looking around the apartment. He placed Rory's bag on the floor. "Guess the caffeine angel was here while we were gone."

Rory pivoted, using her crutches to hold her weight. She was smiling softly, and looked like she'd be ready to cry, if that was even possible for her anymore. She'd already cried so much. "Thank you." She whispered. She took her crutches and set them against the wall. She limped a step towards Jess, and he immediately ran forward to catch her before she could try to support her own weight. Rory fell forward into his arms and hugged him tightly. "You are absolutely amazing." She whispered against him, sniffling a little. Apparently, she still had a few tears left in her system.

Jess stiffened initially. He hadn't had such close contact with a woman who wasn't Paige in over two years. Actually, it was probably closer to three. This was Rory though. With that thought in mind, Jess felt his body relax and he wrapped his arms tightly around Rory. "I just wish I could fix things for you." Jess said honestly.

Rory let a few tears fall as she took in the feeling of being in Jess's arms. It was safe. It made her feel like everything was going to be ok. It made her feel normal for the first time she could remember. It was the most amazing feeling in the world, and she never wanted to let it go.

"I have a present for you too." Rory whispered, reluctantly pulling away. "It's in my bag."

Jess looked at Rory skeptically, then went and unzipped the bag. He saw what was resting on top and let out a short laugh. He pulled out the carton of Camel cigarettes and looked up at Rory, who shrugged.

"I guess the nicotine fairy was accompanying the caffeine angel on her journeys." She said innocently.

Jess looked down at the carton. "I guess we each deserve our vices, don't we?"

"Oh yeah." Rory said, picking her crutches up again. "And I have never wanted coffee more than I do right now."

Jess laughed. "I'll put a pot of coffee on, we'll get you settled in, and then I'm going to the roof and smoking a whole damn pack of these things."


Jess wasn't exaggerating. He'd been on the roof of the apartment building, huddled up in his leather jacket in the cold December air for over two hours. Nineteen cigarette butts were piled in front of him. Jess removed the last cigarette from the pack and lit it. He inhaled deeply and watched the smoke billow away from him when he exhaled.

With each day that passed, Jess felt like his judgment was slipping, particularly when it came to Rory. Having her live with him was completely and entirely inconvenient to him. His apartment wasn't meant to house two people. Their close relationship had cost him the only woman he'd ever really loved, and her constant personal traumas were affecting his performance in each of his jobs.

So why didn't he want her to leave?

He didn't want her to go. He didn't want her to leave his apartment, and he certainly didn't want her out of New York City. He knew that. He was man enough to admit to himself that he wanted her in his life.

The question of 'why,' however, was one that he refused to answer.

It was a scary thing, needing Rory. It reminded him of a time when she'd been the only person he cared about, even if he didn't love her. It was so similar to now, with one major difference.

He wasn't sure yet, but there was a very good chance that he was falling for Rory Gilmore again and that was a very nerve-wracking thought. It wouldn't work. It couldn't work. They'd proven that already. They didn't work. They did nothing but hurt each other. They weren't as compatible as they seemed to the naked eye.

But that was a long time ago. They were different now. He had grown up a little, she'd lightened up a bit. Maybe things had changed enough that something could work between them. She'd gone to him, after all. That said something. But maybe it only said that she was desperate for a friend.

She was vulnerable, and he felt sorry for her. Maybe that was it. He wasn't in love with her. He was just apparently a softhearted guy, despite the image he was desperate to portray. Maybe he was misinterpreting wanting to help her as something bigger, something that could prove to be bad for both of them.

Or maybe he missed her all those years that they were apart. Maybe convincing himself that he'd never loved her had just been easier than trying to live without her. Now that was the scariest thought he'd had yet. What if he had been in love with her when they were kids? If that was the case, then it wasn't so farfetched to believe that maybe he was falling for her again. Maybe this was all just a continuation of what they'd started when they were kids. Maybe there had never really been a conclusion to their story.

So if they didn't conclude back when they were younger, were they supposed to end now? Or was this actually real? Was Rory the one that wasn't supposed to ever have an epilogue?

Of course, there was another variable in this whole mess. Rory. What was she thinking? How did she feel? Had she had any of these thoughts? When they held hands, did she feel anything special? Did she look at him and see him as used to be? Did she see him as he was now, and did she like what she saw?

No, of course not. She didn't have the capacity to think about things like that. She had fallen in love after him. She fell in love, and got clobbered. She was picking her life up off the floor, and relying on him to be there to help her. She wasn't looking for love. She was just looking for survival. It was completely selfish to expect anything else from her, if he even did.

Did he? Did he think something else was going to happen? Did he even want something else to happen? Or was he just jumbling up all of his emotions into something he could identify? Love encompassed so much. Maybe it was just easier to say he was falling for Rory than to sort out their complicated friendship.

Or maybe none of these explanations made any sense, and there was something he was missing. He had absolutely no idea.

Jess finished the final cigarette and flung the butt off the roof. He sighed, feeling a headache started directly behind his eyes. This is what happened when he chose to think about these things. Maybe it was time to go back downstairs and just go to sleep.

Jess descended the stairs from the roof and then took the elevator down to the ninth floor. He didn't feel quite comfortable walking down flights of stairs after what happened to Rory, and probably wouldn't for a while. Jess leaned his head against the elevator wall and closed his eyes. His life seemed to be getting more difficult with each passing day.

The doors opened and Jess walked down the hall to his apartment. He quietly opened the door and stepped inside. There was one lamp dimly illuminating the living room. Rory was lying asleep on the couch. She was tucked under a blanket with only her arms exposed. Jess frowned as looked at the cast on her wrist, but it melted away as he looked at the peaceful expression on her face. He was filled with the most firm sense of protectiveness that he'd ever felt. She deserved to look that peaceful all the time, and he was going to make sure that she did.

Right now, that was all that mattered.


"Rory, what are you doing?" Jess asked, stumbling out of his bedroom.

"Shh!" Rory exclaimed, waving him away. She motioned to her cell phone, which was pressed against her ear. "Really? Thanks Jeff. I really appreciate it. And I am sorry that I woke you. Tell Victoria I said hi. Have a good day." Rory closed her phone and looked up at Jess. "I sent excerpts of your book to Jeffrey Malone."

"Should I know who that is?" Jess asked. He looked at the clock. "It's only 7 AM. How long have you been up?"

"Since 5:30." Rory responded. "He runs the Department of Children and Family Services in Hartford. We went to Yale together. I told you about this."

"I don't think so." Jess said, sitting down on the sofa.

"I definitely did." Rory said, sifting through some papers. "It's common practice to send excerpts of novels like yours to experts in the fields for accuracy purposes."

Jess nodded, scratching his head and yawning. "So what'd he say?" He was actually much more nervous than he'd admit to know what this guy had said.

"Not only did he say that it's an accurate portrayal of the system, but he also loved what he read. He said that you managed to portray the system sympathetically without taking away from the fact that it is flawed and can be cruel. He faxed copies to some people that he knows, and they all agreed completely. And they all want copies as soon as the full text comes out."

"Wow." Jess said, smiling. That was probably the best news he'd heard in months. "Why have you been up since 5:30?"

"That's all you have to say?" Rory asked, frowning.

"I prefer not to let my excitement show." Jess replied stoically.

"I had to do something productive." Rory said, answering Jess's question. "What's more productive than getting your novel to press? We're so close."

Jess smiled at her. "I'm glad you're getting back to work."

Rory nodded. "Me too. I'm sending excerpts to book critics now. We're going to try to generate as much press as we can before the book actually gets printed. The more we build it up, the better it will sell once it actually hits stores. That's when the real fun begins. Well, for you. I'll be pretty much done then. You and your literary agent will get to be mighty close friends after that."

"Afraid Daniel's going to replace you?" Jess asked, arching an eyebrow. "He's not nearly as attractive, and he's married. And he hates me."

Rory smirked. "That's because you're a sarcastic ass."

"You're a clingy bitch." Jess snapped back teasingly.

Rory grinned at him and said, "No wonder we don't have any other friends."

"I guess that means we're stuck together." Jess said. For some reason, it was followed by an awkward silence as the two looked at each other.

"Yeah." Rory said quietly. "I guess we are."

Again, a strange silence followed as the two just looked at each other with sidelong glances. They refused to make direct eye contact.

Finally, Jess stood up. "I'll put on a pot of coffee for you, then I'm going back to bed for a couple hours."

Jess did exactly as he said he was going to without even looking back at Rory, leaving her to just sit there with her thoughts. That had been such an awkward moment, and Rory couldn't figure out why.

It had been such a different dynamic than the one that they'd developed over the past few months. What had changed overnight?

Maybe she was relying on him too much. Maybe she'd finally done it and just leaned on him more than he could take. That was the last thing she wanted to do. She needed him. She knew that without a doubt. Did she need him too much though? Maybe he wasn't as strong as she needed him to be.

Or maybe he could tell that she was looking at him differently, and he didn't know what to think.

Her conversation with her mother had really gotten to Rory more than she admitted. She had no idea what she thought of Jess anymore. She was almost positive they were just friends, but what if there was something more there?

Logan had crushed her. He had absolutely torn her apart. It had only been two months ago. It might have felt like a lifetime, but it was only two months. What was she doing, thinking something new was there with Jess? There was no way she could be with anyone now, especially him. She was tired and she was weak and she was grasping for something that made sense. It wasn't fair, and it was confusing.

The worst part was not knowing where Jess stood on any of these things. Rory had never been able to read him, and even the new and improved Jess was still a blank slate when he wanted to be. Rory had no idea whether or not he was having any of these same thoughts.

He probably wasn't. He had just lost Paige, and he had loved her. When he had thought he loved Rory, it had taken him over a year to get over her. He knew that he loved Paige. It would certainly take a much longer time for him to cope with that. And considering that for all intents and purposes Rory had caused their breakup, there was very little room to believe that he was attracted to her right now.

Did she want him to be though? That was the question. Did she want to be with Jess again, or was she just looking for something that made sense? If she was looking for something that made sense, why would she search for it in Jess? Nothing about them made sense.

Rory sighed and got up to pour herself some coffee. She grabbed her crutches and hobbled across to the kitchen. This wasn't something she could think about anymore.