A/N: This is a yaoi KakaIru fic. Please keep an open mind! I don't own Naruto or anything else either lol.
Chapter One
Iruka paused in front of his door to take one more look at his reflection. His outfit, same. His gear, same. Taking a deep breath, he looked into his eyes. He tried to observe himself like a stranger. Smooth brown hair pulled neatly back from his forehead, not a strand out of place. His tongue pushed out slightly to wet his parched lips. Suddenly he frowned in anxiety and leaned forwards, staring at his lips. No, there was nothing, he had imagined it.
He pulled his collar down quickly, his paranoid gaze scanning the tanned, flawless skin of his throat and neck. He twisted and turned his head around and gave up, seeing nothing. It was all in his head. He straightened his posture and looked himself up and down.
He looked like the very same ninja he was yesterday noon.
He swallowed the lump in his throat, pushed the door open and stepped out in the street.
The day went by slowly, nobody noticing anything unusual in the sensei. He met with his friends and co-workers, held lectures for the students, helped them, settled a few budding arguments, chatted with clerks, poked at his cold lunch. Nothing out of the ordinary. He looked the same to everyone else. As the day was wrapping up and he was getting ready to leave the room, he glanced out of the window. The sun would start to set within a few hours, tinting the horizon orange, pink and purple.
Life would go on as usual, another day would come and go.
Iruka just had no idea how long it would take before he could look him in the eyes again.
A tight knot in his chest, he stuffed the rest of the books in his bag and got out. He wandered in his own thoughts, his feet taking him towards his appartment on their own, after years of doing so. He started to feel anxious close to his home, taking in the surroundings. Then he saw a friend out by his door, leaning against it. The jounin straightened up, seeing Iruka.
"There you are. Miss me?" Kakashi teased in his usual double-minded tone. Iruka smiled in confusion, feeling his cheeks warm up. He hadn't expected the other here at all. Kakashi stared at him pointedly.
"What? Did you forget our plans?" he asked. Iruka started as the visual wave crashed on him. He had agreed to go for a drink with Kakashi this evening! How could he forget? They had decided on it only yest…
Iruka's gaze dropped on his hands quicker than possible, and he dug his keys out.
"Of course I didn't forget," he said sharply, fumbling the lock open. He felt Kakashi's silent stare on his back.
"Wanna come in for a while? We can leave right away?" he continued hastely, hoping to distract the sharin-gan. He should know better, of course. The door closed behind them, and Iruka was convinced that he could've sliced the thick air between them with a katana if he wanted to.
"You forgot," Kakashi mused with a lower town, hands in his pockets, "You're breaking my heart, sensei." Iruka tensed and dropped his bag on the ground, still facing away from the white-haired man. Kakashi was using that tone again that only the ones closest to him could fully understand. If even they. Iruka was too mentally exhausted and high-sprung to once again dig into the finer sub-shades of the tone of voice, trying desperately to analyze it and pick it apart piece by piece. He just couldn't do that, not tonight. He had enough on his shoulders. He wasn't in the mood for the other's games.
Kakashi leaned against the door, watching in silence as the younger man changed his coat into another one.
"Alright, let's get going," Iruka said after grabbing some money and heading for the door. Kakashi pressed his hand on the handle over Iruka's, sending a jolt up his arm.
"Something wrong?" he asked, staring into Iruka's eyes that stared at the door.
"I just… it's been a rough day, I just want to unwind a bit, forget about everything for a while. Can we go now?" he asked, opening the door, and Kakashi pulled his hand away. He wasn't used to seeing the chuunin like this, and didn't know quite yet how to act about it. He didn't like the idea of Iruka holding something from him. Kakashi wasn't a fool; he didn't flatter himself by pretending the other spilled his every little thought to him. Iruka's aura had many well-disguised grey and black tones.
The sharin-gan trailed seemingly idly behind the younger man on their way to their usual bar. He used the time to try and read the other's chacra, but as they arrived at the alley the pubs were at, he had gotten nowhere, which annoyed the proud man.
The night did not get better for him from that on. Iruka remained quiet and distant, only pretending to be listening and interested in Kakashi's words. His charade was masterfull, granted, after years of navigating his way through complicated social webs, but he seemed to forget who he was sitting with. A few more times that evening, Kakashi tried to inquire what was bothering the teacher, but after his attempts failed, he decided to give up and drown his anger and frustration in the sake bottle in front of him.
They had been sitting by the pub counter for hours now, and Iruka could tell it was time to leave. He hadn't enjoyed himself to begin with, being wrapped up in his own remorse, but now Kakashi was getting quite drunk and impossible to even have rational small talk with. The sensei dug some money out of his pocket, enough to pay for both their drinks, inspite of Kakashi's loud, heroic resisting. He dragged the white-haired ninja out of his chair, and started walking towards the door, close to Kakashi just in case he would collapse or stumble.
The door opened against them, nearly knocking Kakashi's balance off, but he wasn't that drunk, and managed to shift aside. Iruka looked up at the person who had opened the door and froze in horror. The other ninja froze as well. Iruka felt his throat dry and pulse sprint into a furious uneven rhythm. Their gazes locked for a few electric, tense seconds cleared Kakashi's head like a cold bucket of water. He stared in confusion at Genma and Iruka gaping at each other. The pony-tailed man's chacra was crazy. Kakashi instantly knew something was wrong.
Their gazes flicked back and forth restlessly, and Iruka tried to pass the other ninja as gracefully as he possibly could in this situation. They fumbled in front of each other for a few awkward moments before finally slipping past each other with barely-there greetings and nods. Genma noticed Kakashi and started, nodding quickly before proceeding to the counter rapidly.
The copy ninja jogged after his younger friend.
"Iruka," he called, and though slowing down just a bit, the sensei didn't halt or look over his shoulder. Frowning, Kakashi reached his side, noticing a dark blush on the high, scarred cheekbones. The silver-haired jounin suddenly held his question back, deciding this wasn't the time. He wouldn't get anything out of Iruka at this very moment. It killed him a little inside, but he remained quiet.
At Iruka's door, the teacher turned to Kakashi, still obviously off-balance and shaken.
"I know this sounds rude, but I have to get up early tomorrow, and I can't invite you for a drink. Sorry," he sputtered, avoiding eye-contact while trying to open the lock. Kakashi stared at him for a few seconds, then pressed his hand on Iruka's, and held it there. The brown-haired man stared at it like he didn't comprehend anything, and after a few moments he looked up questioningly. Kakashi sighed and opened the door's lock slowly, through Iruka's shaking, incoherent palms. A small, relieved smile rising on his face, the shorter man gave Kakashi a gratefull glance.
"Thanks," he muttered. Kakashi's gaze remained steady and calm.
"Don't mention it," he said. With that, he turned and left into the street, leaving behind a slightly confused and yes, a little bit dissapointed Iruka. Shaking his head, the sensei forced himself to go inside. His senses and instincts were completely messed up tonight. He just needed to go to bed and fall into a deep, long, peacefull sleep. Yes, that's all he needed.
Out in the night, many blocks from the teacher's home, a copy ninja was leaping from rooftop to rooftop with blinding speed, driven by adrinaline.
He was going to pay Genma a little visit…
To Be Continued Soon.
