Underneath It All

Chapter 12: Don't Want the World to See Me

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin

Recap of the last chapter:

Thinking about everyone and everything that had gone on in his life, Kenshin allowed his thoughts to drift back to a certain someone.

Kaoru.

He loved the way her name just rolled off his tongue. She gave him a reason to love every moment of life that was given to him. On the other hand, he remembered the dying guilt inside of him. He had to tell her the truth, but first he had to talk it over with someone else.

"Sano. I'll talk to Sano" said Kenshin to himself. He smeared his cigarette in the ash tray next to the smoking tree and headed back into the school.


Kenshin felt himself staring at Kaoru throughout the day. He saw her when she laughed, when she smiled, when she was concentrating on her work... God, he couldn't take his eyes off her. Yet every time he saw her happy face he felt the guilt inside of him burning deeper and deeper into his body.

The last bell rung and the students and teacher started gathering up their stuff and leaving. Kenshin just sat in his seat and continued to watch Kaoru. Sano turned to his best friend and was about to speak when he noticed Kenshin's dazed off look. Following the direction Kenshin was looking at, Sano pinpointed Kaoru. His eyes shuffled back and forth between the blank Kenshin and Kaoru who was gathering up her books. He noticed Kaoru glance in Kenshin's direction and smile at the expressionless redhead. A grin tugged at Sano's lips when he saw Kenshin turn a shade of pink before smiling back at Kaoru.

Once Kaoru left the room along with her friends Soujiro, Aoshi, and Sano stood up to leave. Soujiro and Aoshi walked ahead threw the door discussing their math project. Sano followed suit, but paused at the door to see Kenshin staring at Kaoru's seat.

"Yo, man! You coming?" said Sano. Kenshin blinked himself back to reality and looked at Sano who was waiting casually at the door. He seemed to stare at him for a moment before nodding and grabbing his backpack.


As they walked in the hall a couple feet behind Aoshi and Soujiro, Kenshin seemed to fiddle with his hands; which Sano noted instantly.

"You OK? You seem to be out of it lately" exclaimed Sano. Kenshin's face stiffened for a brief moment before turning normal again. He let out a breath, scratched the back of his head, and turned to Sano.

"Actually, there is something that I'd like to talk to you about..." breathed Kenshin.

"Sure man, anything. We can talk about it at McDonald's-"

"No, I need to discuss this with you. I can't talk about it with Aoshi and Soujiro just yet" interrupted Kenshin. Sano stared at him for a moment.

"Alright then. But you have to buy me food later on, OK?" said Sano. Kenshin nodded at his friend's request. Sano then turned to Aoshi and Soujiro who were still walking way a head of then.

"Soujiro, Aoshi. Can we have a rain check on McDonald's? Kenshin and I need to talk about something." called Sano. Aoshi and Soujiro turned at looked at the two.

"That's OK. At least now I won't have to buy you an extra three Big Macs because you don't have enough money" joked Soujiro. Kenshin, Soujiro, and Aoshi chuckled at that while Sano glared at Soujiro.

"Well, I guess we'll see you guys tomorrow" said Kenshin. Soujiro and Aoshi waved at the two before turning and walking out the door. Kenshin and Sano watched them leave before talking again.

"So where do you wanna talk?" asked Sano.

"Where we usually talk" replied Kenshin.


Kaoru skipped happily ahead of Misao and Megumi while humming a random tune. Megumi noted her friend's sudden change and bluntly said, "Why is our little Tanuki so happy lately?"

Kaoru stopped skipping and turned around with a wide smile. Megumi and Misao stared at her with wide eyes and their mouths gapping open as though they wanted bugs to fly in their mouths. Normally Kaoru would get all pissed off when Megumi called her a tanuki.

"Why is the sky blue? Why do the birds chirp? Why does a cat purr when you scratch it behind the ears? Why-"

"Are you high?" asked Misao with a concerned look on her face. Kaoru stopped smiling and looked at her. "Kaoru, if you're on drugs we can help you. My cousin knows a great psychiatrist; I believe the same one that's been trying to cure Professor Shishio. He's a great psychiatrist from what I've heard-"

"Hey! Hey! Misao, I'm not on drugs. What's wrong with being happy once in a while?" said Kaoru.

"But Kaoru, you're an awkward-creepy kind of happy" stated Megumi as Kaoru shifted her attention from Misao to Megumi. "I mean, I haven't seen you this cheerful since the last time you claimed that you loved..." Megumi drifted off as she thought some more. Kaoru and Misao looked at her with curious faces. Megumi's eyes lit up as she found an answer. "Oh my gosh! You like someone!". Kaoru's mouth dropped open.

Megumi had that fox-like grin spread across her face, her eyes reflecting triumph as though they were saying 'I've won! I've won!'.

"E-excuse me! I-I-I do not! H-how would y-you k-know?" stuttered Kaoru. Megumi grinned even more, if that was even possible.

"It's so obvious! You like someone! Who is he? Who is he? I wanna know!" jumped Megumi. Kaoru sweat dropped.

This was not good...


Kenshin and Sano lounged on the rooftop of the school. Kenshin had just finished telling Sanosuke everything; his feelings for Kaoru, the situation of their relationship, and how he should approach it. Sano lay on the ground taking in his best friend's information. Kenshin leaned against the railing staring up at the sky as he waited for Sano's opinion.

"To be honest, Kenshin. The best thing for you to do is to be straight forward with Kaoru" said Sano with his eyes closed. Kenshin turned to him in shock.

"Excuse me? I can't! What am I suppose to say? 'Hey Kaoru. I really like you and all, but if people heard about us than you'd ruin my reputation' or maybe, 'I haven't felt this way about someone in a long time, it's too bad that the last time I felt this way the girl I was with broke my heart so now I'm paranoid that you might do the same'" Kenshin let out an exasperated breath.

"Or you could make up an excuse like, 'I'm gay', 'I'm a bisexual', or 'I'm a cross-dresser'" joked Sano. Kenshin narrowed his eyes at him, grabbed his backpack and whipped it at the taller boy's stomach. Sano let out a groan. "I was only kidding Kenshin"

"Try to be serious for once, Sano! I'm asking you for good advice and all you're doing is just laughing in my face. Ugh! I knew it! Talking to you was just a waste of-"

"Hey! Hey! Calm down Kenshin. I was just trying to lighten up your mood on the whole situation" exclaimed Sano, finally opening his eyes and looking his redheaded friend in the eye. "I didn't mean to offend you". Kenshin glared at his friend for a moment before relaxing.

Letting out a sigh, Kenshin closed his eyes, leaned his head back and scratched his head. "So tell what you think?" he said as he opened his eyes and gazed into Sano's.

"Like I said before, tell her the truth-". Kenshin opened his mouth to protest, but Sano quickly continued, "but slowly ease her into it. Start off by telling her about your past, about Tomoe, and say that 'it really hurt me during that time. Hopefully nothing like that would ever happen again'. Y'know, something like that".

Kenshin turned away for a minute and thought about it. Knowing Kaoru, she would definitely be heartbroken if he was straight forward and told her that she meant nothing to him, which was a complete lie. No! He would do what Sano recommended. He would slowly ease her into it. Yes!

"Alright. I'll do that. Thanks for the advice Sanosuke" said Kenshin as he turned back to Sano who was now standing up. Sano just smiled at him, grabbed his backpack and headed for the door as Kenshin watched him.

"I'm gonna go now. I don't think my stomach can hold out any longer. So I'll see you tomorrow Kenshin" said Sano once he was at the door.

Just as he was about to leave Kenshin called out, "Sano!" Sanosuke turned around. "Um... thanks. Thanks for listening to me". Sano just grinned.

"No problem, but you still owe me McDonald's" smirked Sano. Kenshin smirked back and watched his friend open the door. "Oh ya, one more thing Kenshin; Which is more important? Kaoru or your reputation? I'm sure that you'll know the answer once you get that egotistical head of your's out of the sand. After all, a woman like her is extremely rare".

Kenshin looked wide-eyed at the door as it shut and made a 'click' sound, Sanosuke's words embezzled in his mind.


"Come on, Kaoru!" squealed Misao.

"Were gonna have to find out sooner or later" smirked Megumi. Kaoru gazed back and forth between the two girls. She must not look nervous, she must not talk nervous, just stay calm.

"I don't like anyone!" cracked Kaoru. Shit! She watched as her two friends' faces lit up with excitement.

"Tanuki, you aren't great at lying at all!" sneered Megumi.

"Just tell us!" whined Misao.

'Great, now they're getting impatient and if I don't tell them soon they'll be pouncing on me and strangling me to death. Think Kaoru! Think!' Kaoru scanned her thoughts to think of something to say.

"I...um..." she stammered. Misao and Megumi leaned in to hear what she was about to say. "Oh... uh...um...LOOK! IT'S CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY!!" she yelled. Megumi and Misao's eyes lit up as they turned around screaming, "WHERE? WHERE?!".

Kaoru took that moment to run as fast as she could to run away. Once Megumi and Misao turned around she was a good block away from them running.

"GET HER!" yelled Misao as they both started chasing Kaoru.

Kaoru quickly cut through the park and without thinking, she ran into the dark forest behind the park. She sprinted as fast as she could to get away from her two obsessive friends. After a couple minutes of running she slowed herself to a stop to catch her breath. Once she began breathing normally again she took in her surroundings. She remembered this forest, it was the one that Shinta ran into that stormy night a couple months ago. Looking at the creepy, disfigured trees around her, goosebumps began forming all over her body. She glanced at her watch and checked the time.

'5:30 p.m! It can't be!' thought Kaoru. Time seemed to have passed by so quickly. She looked up at the sky and saw that the sky blue color was now a lighter shade of navy blue. She looked around some more and realized that she forgot which way she came from.

'No... this can't be! I've heard stories where young girls like me were murdered in a forest by some serial killer and their bodies weren't found until months after. I don't want that to happen to me!' she thought as panic began pumping through her body.

It was getting darker by the minute and she felt the hairs on the back of her neck begin to rise. The sky was now a dark blue that created shadows all around Kaoru.

She shivered in fear as she thought about the serial killer cliche again. The wind howled through the trees making Kaoru back up in fear. She heard a twig snap, which echoed throughout the forest, and screamed out as she bolted in a hysterical, panicky dash. She ran and ran as fast as her legs could go, blinded by fear. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she saw a cement pathway up ahead. Pumping more adrenalin through her veins she sprinted towards the road. As she ran out of the trees she crashed into a person, knocking both of them to the ground. Kaoru let out a yelp as the person grabbed her hands. She began kicking the stranger with all the strength she had until the stranger finally let her hands go. She turned around and was about to run, but the stranger's arms wrapped themselves around her waist. She began flailing around when the stranger spoke.

"Kaoru! Kaoru! Calm down! It's only me!"

Kaoru froze. That voice! She slowly turned around and faced the stranger. She felt tears of happiness come rushing in her eyes as she stared at the person's face.

"Kenshin? Kenshin, is that really you?" she choked as her hands touched his face as though she didn't believe he was real. Kenshin felt a shock run through his body as her cold, soft hand touched his scared cheek. He took one of his hands from her waist and took the hand that brushed his cheek. He brought her hand up to his face and gently kissed her knuckles.

His warm golden orbs looked deep at her midnight ones, staring at the tears welling up in her eyes. His insides hurt to see her like this.

"Kenshin" she said again, this time with more panic in her voice. Her eyes filled up even more with tears when he didn't reply earlier. Kenshin finally snapped back to reality.

"Yes. It's me, Kaoru" he replied. He saw as her face filled with anguish as she burst into tears and bounded into his body. His cheeks reddened for a moment at her action.

"Kenshin...Kenshin... Kenshin" she murmured against his neck, as though she was telling herself that it was him. Her arms snaked their way around his torso while her hands fisted his jacket. Kenshin could feel her hot breath against his sensitive skin as her lips delicately brushed his neck, causing him to feel suddenly very hot. After a few seconds Kenshin wrapped his arms around her; one around her waist, the other on the back of her head. After a couple minutes Kaoru's breathing was normal again.

"I...was scared" she mumbled.

"Don't be. As long as I'm here I'll make sure that no one harms you. I'll protect you" he said. He felt Kaoru's lips curve into a smile against his skin.

"Thank you" she said.

"You can come over to my house for now. It's getting late and I think your parents are worried so you'd better call them" he exclaimed. Kaoru just nodded. "Let's go" he continued. Kaoru broke away from the embrace and held onto his arm tightly as they walked down the pathway towards his house.


Kaoru forgot how huge Kenshin's home was. The last time she was here was a couple months back when she first met Kenshin. But either way, she still looked around in awe when they entered the big mansion. She just finished calling her parents and telling them that she was OK. Kenshin's mother, Sakura, insisted to her parents that Kaoru should stay over night, which they humbly agreed. Kaoru ate dinner over in the mass dining room along with Kenshin and Sakura. After she was done, she got dressed up in the silk night gown provided for her and went to bed. Kenshin went to his room and went to bed as well after a long day.

Kaoru tossed and turned in her bed. The eeriness of the forest was still frightening to her, not to mention the shadows all around the room, which definitely did not help her out one bit. She huddled up into a shy ball; tucking her knees to her chest as she leaned against the headboard. She glanced all around the room, she tucked her body closer to herself and shut her eyes tightly.

Kenshin... please protect me.


Kenshin lay in his bed staring up at the ceiling thinking about a certain raven-haired girl. He closed his eyes and focused on her ki. It felt scared and jumpy. Opening his eyes he debated on whether to check on her or not.

'She feels scared'

No! You vowed never to fall in love again, remember?

'But she needs me'

But do you need her? Is she really worth breaking your heart over?

You cannot trust her. She will lure into her trap with innocent smiles and once you give her what she wants she'll snarl and tear you apart.

'Kaoru is not like that! Besides, we're only friends'

Think what you want, but sooner or later she'll hurt you.

'NO SHE WON'T!'

You're right...

'Of course I am. I know that Kaoru would never-'

You'll be the one hurting her.

Kenshin's thoughts ended with the cackling voice echoing in his head. He sat up in frustration and glared at no particular object. He hated how things from his past always interfered with things in his present. He took a few deep breaths to calm down. After a couple moments of silence Kenshin sat up and walked to the door. No, he wouldn't let his past haunt him anymore. Not while Kaoru is in his life.


Kaoru's grip tightened on the sheets that she held close. The soft sound of the opening caught her attention. She didn't even hear any footsteps! She licked her lips to prepare to scream if it was an intruder. As the door widened she saw a mop of red hair. Kenshin...

Kaoru broke into a smile, stumbled off her bed and ran to the boy. Due to Kaoru's excitement she tripped on her own feet. Kaoru let out a yelp before closing her eyes to await the cold ground. But luckily for Kenshin's fast reflexes he caught her in the nick of time.

"Excited to see me?" said Kenshin with a cocky grin on his face. The grin turned into confusion and surprise when he felt Kaoru grasping onto him. He felt his heart speed up and his cheeks feel hot when he felt her body pressing against his.

"Kenshin..." Kaoru murmured into his chest.

"Y-yes?" he replied shakily.

"Can I sleep with you tonight?" she asked. Kenshin felt his face burn.

"Uh...I..."

"Please...I'm scared" she whispered. After hearing no response for a couple minutes, Kaoru looked up to see Kenshin staring straight at her. Her eyes glazed into curiosity as she cocked her head to the side. Before she knew it, Kenshin swept her into his arms and carried her down the hall to his room.

Once they entered his room he set her onto the bed and proceeded to tuck her into the sheets. Kaoru watched him with wide eyes as he securely covered her body with the sheets like she was a child.

"There" he said in a calm voice as he finished tucking the last of the bed sheets over her. "Good night Kaoru" he continued as he turned around to sleep against the wall.

"Wait!" said Kaoru as she grabbed his wrist, maybe a little too hard, causing him to lose his balance and fall on her.

Violet locked with blue as they stared at each other. Kenshin felt her body crushed underneath his own and tried to quickly scramble off her. The feel of Kaoru's hand on his cheek stopped him from his movement. His eyes slowly traced upwards until they were on her eyes. Her eyes were glazed over like she was lost in a dream. Her hand gently pulled his face towards her, which Kenshin couldn't help but allow her to draw him in. Once their faces were a mere inch away from each other Kenshin felt his body become weak. Bringing a hand up to her head, Kenshin ran his fingers into her soft, silky hair.

Kaoru gazed up at him with glazed, shiny eyes. This was the first time that she had ever done anything with a guy. Not once had her innocent, plush lips pressed themselves against another. This moment was just so right though...

Kaoru slowly lifted her head until she could feel his hot breath brush her lips. Kaoru glanced at his lips, up to his eyes, back at his lips, and finally resting up at his eyes. She wanted him to make the first move.

They both gazed at each other for a moment before Kenshin pressed his lips against hers. She tasted sweet and fresh like a strawberry freshly picked from a brush. Her lips were so soft as he gently deepened the kiss. Her mouth parted to let his tongue wander her mouth.

Kaoru felt her body grow warm at the sensational feeling that was sent through Kenshin's lips. She massaged her tongue against his as his tongue entered her mouth. She felt her head being pressed into the pillow as their kiss deepened even more. Soon enough Kaoru felt her arms rubbing his back, his face, running through his hair... she never felt this good in a very long time.

Kenshin gripped her hair in his hand, not hard enough to hurt her though, and began to let his hands cup her face.

They broke apart to let their lungs breathe in precious oxygen after a couple minutes. As Kaoru caught her breath Kenshin began trailing wet kissing along her face.

"Kenshin..." Kaoru softly moaned. Kenshin rested his forehead against hers and stared at her face as he began to breathe steadily. Kaoru slowly opened her eyes and stared up at Kenshin's swirling violet eyes.

"Good night, Kenshin" whispered Kaoru as she smiled up at him. Kenshin returned the smile and gave a slow peck on her lips.

"Good night, Kaoru" he replied. He rolled to Kaoru's side as she huddled next to his body. He watched as she slowly nestled her head into his chest and go to sleep. Kenshin gave her one last kiss on the forehead before going to sleep himself.

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

Song: Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls


I hope you peeps liked that chapter. Cuz I am really not in the mood to upload another chapter for you guys. I hate to sound like a cow right now, but I am in one of those moods where I'm mad at the world. I'm mad because lately when I update, people seem to just drop in, read and leave, not even bothering to show their respect to me by reviewing.

Starting as of now, I ain't gonna update until some of those disrespecting bums out there actually give me the god damn respect I deserve! I'm sorry to those who actually respect me and review, but it just really frustrates me when people don't review!

Thank you to the following who reviewed chapter 11: lorgin, LeaD, Lily, VanyD, Bradybunch4529, and gina.

I'm sorry that those above have to suffer because of another's actions.

Ttyl, bibi

Dev

P.S YOU PEOPLE BETTER REVIEW OR NO CHAPTER 13 FOR A LONG WHILE, GUARANTEED!