FMA BLOOPERS

CHAPTER 4

Mingchao: Your wish has been granted!

BLOOPER 16:

Envy had Al in his captivity, trapped in his room, with no escape. Poor Al, tied up on the floor unable to use his alchemy. "You'll never get away with this."

Envy chuckled, "Oh we've already have, we just need your body"

"I hope you know you're being deceived by Dante. She's using you"

"I am aware she is using me, but I don't care. Just knowing how many defenseless innocent humans I'm able to kill makes it all worth WHO-" before Envy could finish his sentence there was abrupt sound of the door slamming open.

"ENVY WHERE THE HELL IS MY PURSE?" yelled Lust.

"Ugh! How the f #ck should, I know! Maybe you left it at your second job! The strip club!"

"Oh really, we're really going to do this again?" The director jaded to somebody beside her.

"No I did not! I checked! You are always stealing things from me! If you wanted some make-up I would have been happy to oblige!" she yelled angrily.

"For the last time you bitch, I am not gay!"

"Cut! Cut! Cut!" screamed the director, "I don't get paid enough to do this." She mumbled, "Envy go help Lust find her purse please?"

"If it makes her shut up," she mumbled rudely.

Lust and Envy both left.

"But we have to finish this scene ma'am the episode is tonight!" yelled a cinematographer

"Well you can't actually finish when the cast argues like this, then they'll mess up the whole episode. Just wait, I'll give them fifteen minutes, if they don't come in fifteen minutes I'll go find them"

Thirty minutes later

"Ugh! It has been friggin' thirty minutes! I'll go find them!" the director yelled. She traveled down the bushes of doors, until she heard the spring of a bed from one of them. The director bust in the door "ITS BEEN THIRTY MINUTES FREAK THE PURSE WE HAVE A SCENE-" she widen her eye's in shock.

"Will you please close the door? We're not finish yet," says Lust.

"I would appreciate that myself," says Envy.

"...s-sure" she quickly slammed the door and ran down the hallway

"What's up with her?" asked Lust

"Yeah, she's act like she never had sex before," replies Envy

"So did you find them?" asked a cinematographer

She shook her head up in down. "Let's skip to the next scene"

"But the episode is ton-"

"I AM AWARE OF THAT! LETS SKIP TO NEXT FREAKIN' SCENE!" the director roared.

"...I just missed something. Did something happen while you were gone?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

BLOOPER 17:

Ed past the test with excellence and was sitting in Roy's office waiting for his state alchemist watch. "Congrats you're finally a dog of the military," says Roy, as he threw the watch towards Edward, but Ed did not attempt to catch it.

"Um Ed hello!" yelled Mustang "what the hell are you doing?"

"Huh? Oh, my bad I was just reading this week's top topic on News weekly magazine! In addition, guess what we are one of the top topics! Look!" He gestured.

"Hold on! Cut!" commanded the director "Ed let me see that please," she asked kindly. Ed passed the magazine to the director "Full metal alchemist is one of the well-thought out, suspenseful, and hilariously entertaining show made in this century ever! Kids, anime lovers, and maybe even adults would enjoy this wonderfully done show! One of the top ratings on adult swim Let alone history of adult swim, next to Family guy! We are all joyfully happy that this show came in existence! Arakawa Hiromu does an excellent job directing the whole thing! We thank her for thinking up this wonderful idea for everyone to enjoy!" she finished.

"Well that was an excellent review" Arakawa smiled, but then her eyes trailed down to the bottom of the page "Things you watchers didn't know about the FMA characters," she said.

"Let me see that!" Edward snatched the magazine out the directors hand he read "Edward Elric, is known as shrimp, short, gnome, midget, and so many other insulting short jokes. What you people might not know when the cameras are off and when it's time to go home he has a second job, and he-" Ed stopped and his eye's went wide "you know what? This stupid magazine is not important doing this show is! So let's just get back to taping sh-"

Roy snatched the magazine out his hand, and his eyes started to read the rest "Let's see what you have to hide...Edward?" Roy stood for a minute, but he soon started to laugh loud.

"What does it say?" asks Riza

"I-it says he works at a...haha! A GAY bar!" he continued to spit out between laughs

"Ed...?" Havoc paused

Ed got teary-eyed "SHUT UP!" He snatched the magazine out of Roy's hand and stated to read violently. "ROY MUSTANG! Known as the FLAME, A suitable nonetheless perfect name for this handsome enterprising person, when we say flame we mean that Roy Mustang the supposedly straight women dater likes to actually cross dress after work. We also found he's having an affair with are little own Fuery."

There was a disturbing silence by everyone else, instead of Ed "That is MUCH worse than the dirt they got on me!"

"Shut up shrimp! Don't make me have to force you up pole outside!"

"Shut up asshole!" Edward screamed.

Riza snatched the magazine to read her own profile "Riza Hawkeye is the trusty side-kick of Roy Mustang; she's the one to keep him going. As you might not know she works at a- That is not true!" she screeched. "I DO NOT work at a lesbian bar, Maybe Ross But not me those bastards!"

"I was kind of skeptical about you Riza at first," says the director. Riza stares daggers at her. Havoc takes the magazine "what does it say about me?" he read with his eye "phew I already establish I don't like smoking. Nothing too bad, and for Hughes it says he doesn't like his kid and we all know that...Hey!"

"Hey what?" asks Ed

"It says thanks for the tips we've got on this characters! Ladies and gentlemen we have a spy in our mist," he announces.

"Who the hell would blackmail us like this?" yells Roy angrily, but then there was abrupt motion of something falling in the closet. The director walked over and opened the door " Breda?" she said in confusion "Why do you have a tape recorder, microphone and a-ooh"

Roy was the first to insult him "Oh you fat hoe...I will fucking' kill you!" he threatened, while cracking his fingers. The rest had joined we're going to teach you a little lesson in spying" smirks Ed evilly.

"Please! Understand I barely get any money, because I barely come on any episodes! Please! You mus- NOOOOO!"

"Uhh guys don't rough him up too much because I need him a future episode," says Arakawa.

BLOOPER 18:

Today is the day when Ed and Al are trying to revive their mom "Your ready Al?"

"I guess brother"

They both land their hands softly on the transmutation circle a huge light had emitted from the ground, Ed had a smile at first but then his face soon scorned, not that the transmutation was going wrong, is that three employers were walking across the set laughing and drinking coffee.

"Move!" yelled Ed, but his warning went unheard.

"Oh yeah I saw yesterday's Yo mama did you se...? Hey George what's up with your arm?"

"Huh? Hey, what is up with this? Stop!"

They all were sucked in the circle, excluding Ed and Al because they fled the stage so did a lot more people. "Please somebody! Anybody! Save us!"

Before another word was yelled, all three had swirled in the vortex of pain. The two small kids we're shaking behind the director "you didn't say that was going to happen to us!"

"Uh well hehe! Let us shoot it again people! Forget what just happened! We can get more!"

"Oh no! Kiss my baby soft butt!" screamed Ed "Arakawa you are crazy and stupid to use us!"'

"No you don't understand we're using stunt doubles"

"Oh...I guess that's alright," says Al

"Alright then let's shoot once again!"

TAKE TWO

The light emits form the ground and starts to swirl, slowly Al was being sucked "alright call in the stunt doubles!" screamed Ed. The director just smiled "there aren't any!"

"What? Oooh...I hate you so—AAGH! MY ARM!"

"Keep rolling! Hopefully it comes out liked I planned!" she yelled.

BLOOPER 19:

Roy was sitting on his office working, as usual. Riza busted in, "uh hello Lieutenant Hawkeye what's your news you have to share?"

"Where's my money!" she exclaimed

"Money?"

"Don't play stupid with me! Where's my money?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about Riza!"

"Wrong answer!"

Havoc walked in with some profile in his hand "Um Colonel you have so- JESUS CHRIST! RIZA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" screamed Havoc.

Riza was hanging Roy outside the window by his feet "give me my money! I won't tell you again!"

"AAAAAAAHHH!" Roy screamed high pitch tone

"Riza wrong movie!" says Havoc

"Huh? What are you talkin-this isn't a try outs for..."

"No"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes"

"Oh...my bad...Colonel you still alive?"

Roy eyes rolled to the back of his head and he was foaming from the mouth. "Oh jeez! Havoc goes call the hospital!"

BLOOPER 20:

"Alright ten minutes until curtain time!" yelled a person

Roy was sitting in his room rubbing his head, when Hughes walked in "what's wrong Mustang?" he asked. "I have a massive headache," he groaned.

"Oh here!" he took a bottle out his pocket and handed it to Roy "this helps out headaches I used it last week only takes a few seconds"

"Alright" says Roy, as he popped the pill in his mouth and drunk some water with it "alright let me get out there" grunted Roy.

"That's what I'm talking about, get out there!" encouraged Hughes

TAKE ONE

It's been three years since Ed's been in central; the last time he was there he was twelve, but now he is fifteen and is having talk alone in Roy's office.

"You have something to say Mustang? Then say it!"

Roy gazed at his hands "Oh my god...I have five fingers" he gasped.

"Uhh, hello!"

"Hm? Oh! Hi Edward! Didn't know you we're here!" Roy shot up out of his chair "you know I have admired you for quiet sometimes my little shrimpy alchemist," he purred, while sitting on the couch next to him.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT A FREACKIN' CRUMB COULD SQUISH ME HUH?" he said angrily.

"I love it when get mad. It-it's so SEXY!"

"What...the...FUCK!" Ed exclaimed

"Oh god this couch it's so soft! It feels so good! Perfect for an all nighter" he cooed. Ed eye started to twitch; Roy rubbed his head on Ed's "Aww! Your hair is so soft and your face" Roy started to rub his face "It's so smooth h-how you doing that?"

"Get your hands off of me!"

"Everything so wonderful!" Roy started to squirm down the couch. "And it's hot! Damn it's hot!" Roy started to strip on the ground "this shirt needs to go" he stripped is shirt off "is still hot!" he started stripping his pants.

"AAAHH! Security! Security! Somebody stop him!" screamed Ed. The security come and picks Roy up "Oh my god you guys smell so good! And I want to say thanks for protecting us all these years, even though you don't get paid that much!" he laughed.

"What's wrong with him?" mumbles Hughes, as he reached into his pocket "Oh jeez!" he yelled.

"Hughes what did you do?" sighed the director.

"Well Roy had a headache and I meant to give him medicine, but I gave him the wrong thing and-"

"What did you give him?" she said in frustration.

"Ecstasy."