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Author Note: Sadly, the same author note still applies. Please forgive any errors or mistakes. Feel free to tell me about them, but any are unintentional.

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CHAPTER FIVE

Previously: The conversation went well into the night with John and Dean telling their rapt audience about different hunts and memories. Sam dozed in the chair until he felt a warm blanket cover his legs and a calloused hand rub his cheek. He knew his father's hands well. As he drifted back off to sleep, Sam couldn't help but think, 'Why can't Dad just love and accept me.'


Dean was lying in a pool of his own blood on the floor of a dusty dilapidated farmhouse. 'Wasn't I a good enough brother for you Sammy?' Sam felt his chest tighten. 'I did the best I could. Dad did the best he could. I … I … lo … loved you Sammy.' Tears began to roll down Sam's cheeks. 'Why would you do this to me? Why? You left me. No one was there to watch my back. You killed me!'

Sam couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't breathe. Oh God, he had killed his own brother. Dean; his constant, his rock, his best friend and his protector. He opened his eyes and peered wildly around. He couldn't make out where he was. A horrible cough shook his whole aching body. Calming familiar hands were rubbing his back gently as he tried to gain composure.

'Deep breaths, Sammy. Come on now.'

Sam was having trouble focusing on his surroundings. 'Dean?' he asked hopefully.

'No. It's me, son.'

'Dad? Where's Dean?'

John ignored the pain in his chest that came from hearing that statement. Sam was his baby boy yet when in need he called for Dean, not him. It was how John had trained them, to protect each other. But, at times like these John wished that their lives could have been different. That it would be he who Sam cried out for, he who Sam needed.

'It's okay Sammy. I'm here. Just concentrate on breathing.'

Sam did. If Dad says everything is okay, then it must be. He never liked following his father's orders without explanation but he still trusted the old man.

Sam's breathing finally began to settle down and his coughing began to ease up however, the pain remained.

Another pair of hands handed him a glass of water. His hands shook as he attempted to hold the glass, but his father's firm grip snaked out and held it for him. Sam sipped the water that John held to his lips, enjoying the soothing feeling of it travelling down his sore throat.

'You okay Sam?' asked Jessica. So, it had been her who had brought the glass of water.

'Yeah. Think so' he replied softly.

'Do you want your meds, Sammy?' his father asked.

'Umm … yeah. If it's not too much trouble.'

'Sam! What are you talking about too much trouble?' Jessica replied horrified. 'You're in pain and you're my boyfriend. It's never too much trouble!' Jessica left to collect the painkillers.

It was only then that Sam noticed that his father's hand was still resting comfortably on his back. It was one of the rare occasions that John was behaving like a normal Dad would. Savouring the moment, Sam leaned into his father and rested his forehead on John's chest. He could hear the steady heart beat of the older hunter and it soothed him more than he ever imagined.

Jessica returned breaking the moment and Sam swallowed his pills.

'What say we get you to bed so you can lie down properly hey Sam?' John suggested.

'Okay.' Sam was still shaky so Jessica and John supported him as he slowly made his way to the guest bedroom. Once finally lying down on the double bed he asked again, 'Where's Dean?'

'I don't know Sam. He said something about doing something important and then something about a bitch' Jessica said. 'At first I thought he was calling me a bitch, but then he said that no one is a bitch except you Sam, and you're the bitch queen.'

Sam smiled. 'Jerk.' John laughed as the personal joke between the two brothers went over Jessica's head. She let it go, some things were just meant for families only.

'Dean's taking care of a few things. Sleep Sammy. We'll be here.' And as Jess ran her hands through his long brown hair, he was asleep again having only been awake for a few minutes.


Six hours later

John, Chris and Jessica all sat around the kitchen table enjoying an afternoon tea of coffee and sponge cake. Jill and Allan had gone to attend a meeting at the Pine Rivers Golf Club, of which they are executive members.

Conversation was strained for the three.

'So, Jess, when do you have to be back at school?' Chris asked.

'I have applied for Sam and I to have extended time off. The Dean says that it's cool and gave us extensions on all of our assignments given the current situation. Just as long as we have them in by the end of the semester, everything should be fine for Sam and I.'

'That's good for you Jessica' stated John.

'What do you mean by that John?' replied Jess.

'Sam's not going back to college.'

'As if you saying that is going to stop me Dad!' Sam said as he entered the room. Jessica stood up and pulled out one of the kitchen table chairs for him.

'Sam! I didn't realise you were up.'

'Yeah, well I'm guessing Dad didn't either because otherwise he wouldn't be talking about anything to do with me. That's the one thing you can count on from John Winchester, he won't tell you a single thing or let you make your own choices, but he expects you to follow blindly' Sam said glaring at his father coldly.

Chris stood up quietly and nodded for Jessica to follow him to the living room. Even though they had left, they could still hear the shouting match that had just begun, and it was very hard for them not to eavesdrop.

'Don't you talk that way Sam! I'm your father, not that you ever had any respect for that fact.'

'You think I don't respect you Dad. Of course I do! I'm your son. You don't respect me!'

John remained silent, so Sam continued.

'The shapeshifter said that you didn't want me to go to college because you were scared that something bad would happen to me and that you wouldn't be able to save me. Is that true?'

'You abandoned your family to go live with strangers and look what happened, you almost get killed by a shapeshifter. If Dean and I hadn't come to save you, then who knows what would of happened.'

'It's your fault that we even have to deal with shapeshifters. Yes, Mom died and it's terrible and someone should pay for her death, but it's your endless crusade that you put before anything else that has created the danger for Dean and I.'

'Don't you ever talk to me that way!' John shouted.

'And by the way, you were the one who said that if I left I wasn't to come back. You want to talk about respect! How about the fact that you never respected me. Not as your son, not as your fellow hunter, not even as another man. You could never handle the decisions I made or the path I wanted to make for myself. It was always about you' Sam shouted breathlessly. His chest was beginning to ache.

'No Sam, apparently it's always about you.'

Sam's breath was coming in gasps now, but his eyes remained livid and fixed on his father's.

'I'm … sor … sorry I'm not D … Dean.' Sam managed to say.

'What?'

'Dean's yo … your per … perfect son. I'm j … ju … just the black she … sheep who wanted to be nor … norm …normal.'

John paused for a moment. 'I love you both equally, but that doesn't mean we always have to get on all the time.'

Sam didn't respond. He shut his eyes hoping to ease the burning sensation in his chest.

Out of nowhere, Dean entered the room quickly. 'All right, that's enough out of you two. No more Sam/Dad fighting matches today. Sam get up.'

Sam struggled to his feet and did as he was told. So, he will take Dean's orders willing but not mine, John thought.

'Fine, Sam leave. Run away like you always do.'

Before he could respond Dean grabbed his arm roughly and dragged him from the room towards the front door.

Jessica and Chris who were still in the living room stopped Dean at the door.

'Dean, I don't think you should be taking Sam anywhere in his condition .His breathing sounds really awful.'

'Don't you tell me how to look after my little brother! I've seen Sammy through everything. Chicken pox, glandular fever, bullet wounds. What have you done for him? Lent him a library book. Out of my way.'

Jessica was shoved to the side and Dean pulled Sam out the front door towards the Impala.

As the car screeched down the street John ran past Jessica still standing at the front door attempting to catch the car unsuccessfully. Knowing his attempts were futile, John ran back to the house.

'Jess! I need to borrow a car. Quick, it's an emergency.'

Jessica grabbed the keys to her car off the rack hanging by the door and handed them to John.

'What's wrong?'

'Dean wasn't wearing his cast' was all he said as he took off in a flash.


Dean had settled Sam into the passenger seat and jumped in the driver's seat. They drove in silence for ten minutes.

'Where have you been all day Dean? Sam finally asked.

'Had to take care of that shapeshifter. Couldn't leave it hiding out in the Moore's basement forever.'

The car became silent again. Dean didn't even have one of his cassettes on.

'Sammy. Can I ask you a question?'

Sam nodded his head slightly. It was well past his time for his meds, and the fight had taken the last of his very limited energy.

'As my brother, would you do anything for me?'

'What kind of question is that?'

'Just answer the damn question Sammy!' Dean said taking a right corner sharply.

'Yes Dean. Why do you ask?'

'If someone killed me Sam, would you want to take revenge on the person that did it?'

'Yeah, I guess so. But nothings going to happen to you anyway.'

Sam pushed his head back into the seat. Sleep calling him.

'Well, I feel the same way about my brother.'

What an odd thing to say, thought Sam. He painfully opened his eyes and looked at Dean. They drove past a petrol station that had a sign out the front with flashing lights. At that exact moment, Dean's eyes lit up; they flashed a silver reflection.

'What th–' Sam cried out, but was silenced as a fist connected with his temple.


Another chapter done.

Reviews would be lovely and appreciated:)