"If I Only Had a Father"

"Ewwww!"

Nedia squealed and squirmed away. She looked disgustingly at Vidina. He was equally disturbed. He was coughing and gagging, and furiously wiping his lips with his hands. He ran to get a cup and filled it with water. He then chugged it, gurgled it, and then spat it out. He looked over at Nedia, who was squashed in the corner trying to stay away from Vidina. Her facial expression was one of embarrassment as well as disgust. She looked so funny that he laughed. Nedia pouted and scolded him.

"That's not very nice!" she yelled. She wasn't sure what had come over her; her feelings for him had been forgotten once his lips hit her ear. She was still pouting, but she was beginning to find it funny as well. Unable to keep a straight face, she burst our laughing.

The two laughed for a little while, and then stopped. The awkward silence set in again. They looked at each other, and then said at the same time, "This never happened, got it?" They shared a short laugh and then went outside.

The sun felt good when the two kids left the hut. It was a comforting warmth, and they walked together towards the lagoon. Most of kids played on the beach, since the sand is nice and powdery, and there is plenty of shore and sea for everyone. The lagoon was secluded, almost secret except to a few of the more adventurous children. It was Nedia's favorite place on Besaid. The flowers always were in bloom, and she loved to play with the water lilies. Vidina preferred the undisturbed water better; he liked feeling in charge.

The two reached the lagoon and smiled. It was just as they had left it from the last visit. Vidina hardly came up here without Nedia. When she came to visit, the two were inseparable.

Vidina grinned and walked close to the edge. He peered out into the water, looking beneath the calm waves at the bottom. Nedia walked up next to him, looking at the lilies and the fish. As she was searching, Vidina moved slightly and put his arms out behind her. He then yelled, "Jeronamo!" and pushed Nedia in. She screamed and then hit the water, the splash drowning out the scream. Vidina jumped in before Nedia surfaced and began swimming towards the alcove.

Nedia surfaced, her eyes narrowed and her hair drooping over her head. She swam madly towards Vidina and dunked him. She kept him underwater for a while, long enough for him to learn his lesson, but no long enough to hurt him. He resurfaced and laughed. Nedia giggled a little too, but she tried to stay mad. But she couldn't. Something about him, his humor or friendliness, kept her from staying mad for long. She smiled and swam to the alcove and crawled up onto the rocks. She shook her hair like a dog and sprayed Vidina. He laughed again and clambered up an abutting rock.

Nedia looked around her. The water lilies were abundant here, encircling the rocks as they rose from the water. She stooped down and picked one from its stem. She gently poured some of the water out and then stuck the purple flower into her hair. Her blond hair pulled back easily and the flower seemed to fit perfectly, as if it was made for her. She looked at herself in the murky reflection of the lagoon and admired her own beauty. She looked over at Vidina. He was splashing around, trying to catch the fish darting in and out of the sea forest. She laughed to herself. They were so different, and yet they got along. It made her think of Lex; why couldn't they be like this?

Vidina stopped his attempts after realizing they were hopeless and talked to Nedia, though it might have just be thinking aloud. "I think we should build a fort here. A secret place, for just us," he looked over at Nedia. Then his gaze swept to the cave wall behind and half surrounding her. "We could use these for some of the walls, and then just make like one. The water lilies would stay inside, and you could always admire them." He looked back at Nedia and smiled.

Without waiting for a response, he dove back into the shallow waters and swam to get vines and sticks, or anything for building the wall. They would need to disguise it, so only them two would know about it. Nedia liked the idea of a secret fort, and swam after Vidina to help. Together, they were able to push logs and hoist them up to make partial walls. They decided they were going to need Vidina's father's help. So, three people would know.

The sun was beginning to descend into the ocean. The two friends had gathered enough wood, vines, moss, and stones to make the wall, and all they had to do was ask Wakka. As they headed home, Nedia picked two more water lilies, one for each mother. The kids stood on the dirt shore, looking at the reflection of the sunset. The water was an orange-red with a hint of blue, and the purple lilies mixed in perfectly. It was beautiful, and the most romantic thing Nedia could think of. She turned to Vidina, he was captivated by the sunset as well. She inched closer, but he didn't notice. She smiled and leaned it.

That visit was for six days, and the two had immense fun. On the last two days they had to bring Lex along, so they couldn't work on the fort. So, they went to the beach and they all played blitzball with the other Besaidian children. Nedia wasn't very good, and since she was the only girl, she felt left out. But determined not to prove them right, she played anyways. Lex wasn't very skilled either, but he had a severe age disadvantage. Still, the three had lots of fun, and for two days, Nedia and Lex forgot their sibling rivalry.

The day came for them to go back home to Guadosalam. They were all sad about leaving. Yuna thanked Lulu and Wakka for the hospitality, and they responded with the heart-warming phrase, "You're welcome anytime." Nedia was having a hard time saying goodbye to Vidina. She was unsure how to say goodbye, and they awkwardly shook hands. After the goodbyes and farewells, the three boarded the ferry. They waved and shouted until they could no longer be seen or heard. Vidina went to the fort after they left. He wanted it to be ready the next time they visited.

.- . .- .- . .- .- . .- .- . .- .- . .- .- . .- .- . .- .- . .- .- . .- .- . .- .- . .- .- . .- .- . .- .- . .- .- . .-

The next noteworthy visit was three years later. Vidina had just turned thirteen, and so Yuna, Seymour, Lex, and Nedia were coming to celebrate the birthday. Nedia was extremely giddy over it. Over the past years, Nedia's crush on Vidina had grown and grown. And now that he was finally a teenager… things could only get better.

The small family arrived at Besaid during the night. Lex was anxious to get to Besaid and see his friends again, but the journey had tired him out. He was half-sleeping when they arrived, so Seymour picked up his son and carried him into the village. Unlike her brother, Nedia was tireless. She couldn't go to sleep, even when she lay in a warm bed and closed her eyes.

She knew she had to do something, and almost in a trance, she walked to the temple. It stood like a solemn indifferent statue compared to the lively colors of Besaid. The stars were beautiful, and Nedia thought she could make out a constellation or two. She looked back at the temple and walked up the stone steps. She reached the doors and opened them. Inside, the temple was contrastingly different. Torches burned around the perimeter and they cast shadows on the statues, which made them look horrific or demonic. Nedia shuddered but continued inward. She saw the statue of Lady Yunalesca. It was up towards the ceiling and she could watch everywhere in the temple. Opposite her was Lord Zaon, Lady Yunalesca's only guardian. He looked odd decked in so much armor while his summoner wore barely anything.

On the ground guarding the Cloister of Trials were two new statues. To the left was the statue of Lord Braska. He had a caring expression in his face, but Nedia wasn't sure if that was intentional or if the shadows were playing with her mind. To his right was the newest statue, Lady Yuna. She too seemed to hold an expression different from all the other statues. She had a coy yet strong look. Nedia admired her mother and grandfather in this way. Yuna seemed different in person though. She seemed more independent or more passionate as a summoner. As a mother, she seemed to be weak.

Nedia didn't know why, but she began to cry. She shed a single tear from each eye and then she wiped them. She didn't want to cry; she didn't want to weak, she wanted to be strong.

She looked around, at all the statues of past summoners. They all seemed to be indifferent to this world. Each was different, but they all held the same blank expression, except for Lord Braska and Lady Yuna. The statues of the fayth were different. They were usually not whole statues, and they all were intertwined with each other and the wall. Their limbs would jut in and out of the ground and wall, and together it would form a beautiful picture.

Surprisingly, none of the priests or nuns were about. It was late, so it would make sense for them to be sleeping, but why would the door be left open? Was it for occasions like this? Nedia dismissed the thought, not wanting to try to understand this mystery of life.

She looked back at the emotional statues, and then past them. There lay the door to the Cloister of Trials. Only a summoner, a summoner apprentice, and guardians were allowed past those doors. Nedia figured that since no one was around, it would be fine to break the rule. If she didn't get caught, it never happened.

She walked up the steps slowly, trying to remain calm and brace herself for what might lay inside. She reached the door and touched the metal handles. They felt cold despite all of the torches heating the temple. She pulled them down and pulled forward. The darkness of the unknown stretched out before her. She was going to make it; she would see what lay behind those guarded doors.

"Hey, you! Stop right there!" Or not.

She spun around, and shut the doors. A priest stood there, but he looked much younger than she imagined. She hoped her punishment wasn't too harsh. She knew it was a sacred rule not to break Yevon law in the temple. Maybe just opening the doors wasn't bad.

He talked again, this time more gently. "Please, c'mon. I won't hurt you, I promise. Just come down the steps. That 'a girl." Nedia obeyed, not wanting to break Yevon law, but not wanting to disobey the priest either. He had a charismatic voice, and it made Nedia want to obey.

Nedia made it down the steps and did nothing for a few seconds. Remembering her manners, she bowed to the priest, gesticulating her hands into the sphere shape. She thanked him, though not entirely sure why. It seemed appropriate.

He smiled, bowed, and returned the sign. He continued his route to the back chambers and left Nedia by herself in the main room. She found it strange how he let her be; how he didn't watch her or make sure she left. It made her feel much better about herself. Nedia was beginning to feel grown up.

She left, not wanting to get into any more trouble. Maybe someday she would be able to enter those doors. She imagined the life of a guardian, traveling Spira protecting a summoner. She had reached her room while she was still thinking about her travels. These were her last thoughts before falling into that delicate mood which makes all feelings merge to one, where are true intentions rise.

She woke up to the sun beaming through the window onto her face. She felt happy; her dreams had been ones of joy and bliss. The shielded her eyes from the sun and sat up. It felt good to be warmed, but it unsettled her too. She slipped out of the covers and threw on her clothes. They were not her normal apparel. She wore a violet bikini underneath black mesh pants and sported armlets of the same material. She put on some basic makeup, slight blush and faint eyeliner. She ran her fingers through her messy blonde hair and attempted to flatten it out.

She left her room and stood outside the hut for just a moment to adjust to the bright sun. She made her way to Vidina's.

Lulu was the only one home. She was fabricating a beautiful tapestry, made by the best Besaid thread. Nedia asked meekly where Vidina was, trying to sound concerned as a friend, and nothing more. Lulu smiled and said that she thought he had run off to the beach. Nedia thanked her and headed there.

As she walked through the jungle, she began thinking of Vidina. Her ploy to mask her feelings to Lulu seemed successful, but she second-guessed it. Perhaps Lulu did know? It worried her that someone else would know her secret. Slightly depressed, she wandered into the jungle towards the lagoon. It was full of happy memories, and Nedia needed to cheer herself up. She wanted to check on the fort as well; she was sure it would be finished by now.

She arrived at the lagoon, and was feeling better. The lilies were in full bloom, and they all grew around the fort. It was her touch to it. She glanced around and then slipped out of her mesh pants and armlets. She stood in the sunlight for a second before diving in. Nedia swam over to the fort gracefully, not wanting to disturb the lilies.

She resurfaced on the other side, and gasped. She slinked into the corner behind a rock before they could notice her. Inside were Vidina and some other girl. They were sitting next to each other, laughing and almost cuddling. Nedia tried to think of an explanation for this, but couldn't find any. She just kept watching, hoping the other girl would leave soon.

They kept laughing for a while, and then Vidina bent over. Trying to get a better look, Nedia swam out a little. She regretted it for the longest time. There, right in front of her, were two kids kissing. This other girl had beaten her to it. Anger swelled up inside, but Nedia remained calm. Maybe he tripped, she thought. But inside, she knew she was wrong. Vidina had gone off and found someone else. And to take her inside their fort, the nerve!

Unable to contain her emotions she yelled and began crying at the same time. It startled the two Besaidians. With tears streaming, Nedia began swimming back towards the village. Vidina's eyes showed his concern, but Nedia didn't see. He began to chase after her but the girl called to him. He stood still for a few seconds, not sure of what to do, and then continued his pursuit.

He found Nedia crying her eyes out in her room. He felt out of place there. He wanted to help, but was uncertain what to do. It killed him, to know that he had caused his friend so much pain. He sat down on the bed and placed his hand on her shoulder.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? How DARE YOU come in here, after what YOU did!" Her eyes were ablaze, her face red from all the anger. Tears rolled down her cheeks in torrents, making stains on her clothes.

Vidina was scared; he had never seen he act this way. He yanked her hand back and stepped out of the room. He stood right outside and heard her cry and scream. He felt so horrible inside, but he knew he was only experiencing half of what Nedia was. And it made him cry too. He shed just one tear. He watched it as it fell onto the ground, he felt his emotions explode when it hit the ground, and he knew what he had truly done.

Choked up from his sad realization, he muttered out, "I'm really sorry. I am. I just want you to know. If you'll still talk to me, I'd like to come to my party. I'll be over here if you wanna talk."

He sat down on a bench and waited.

Nedia had stopped screaming. She had heard him, and she began crying again. She didn't want him upset over her. She wanted him to be happy, but with her, not with that other girl. She lay there, thinking about what to do. She was going to have to apologize, she knew that much. She got up and wiped away her tears. She didn't want to look upset when she apologized.

She laughed a little. Vidina knew she was heartbroken, what would her appearance matter? Still, she fixed her face up a little and then pulled back the curtain. She gasped when she saw Vidina there waiting. It had to have been at least an hour, and he still waited. It was too much, and she began crying again.

He turned around, and walked up next to her. He held her, hugging her. He smiled and looked at her and asked just one thing:

"Can you try not to cry for tomorrow? It is my birthday after all."

.- . .- .- . .- .- . .- .- . .- .- . .- .- . .- .- . .- .- . .- .- . .- .- . .- .- . .- .- . .- .- . .- .- . .- .- . .-

Well? What do you all think? I hope this fic turns out as well I as I plan it to. (Sometimes the idea's real great, but something happens where the writing messes it up.) Please review and give me any feedback. Comments, corrections, suggestions, flames… I'll take it all!
-AntiMusicMan