I stand rigid and frozen as a cold metal object is thrust into my trembling hands. I look down. A… gun. It's a gun. A pistol.

"Shoot him" the voice orders. I stare forward, horrified. Before me a servant is on his knees, shaking, begging, sobbing for his life. I gulp, right before a blade is held against my neck. The metal is hot from the psycho's pocket, his chest pressed against my back. I stare straight forward, even as the man leans forward to press his cheek against my auburn curls. He whispers in my ear, "Come on, sweetie, just pull the trigger. It's fun!"

We both jolt as the door slams open behind us. "Boss!"

The man at my back relaxes, turning to look at his subordinate while keeping the knife at my throat and his disgusting hand on my shoulder. "What is it?" he asks irritated. I keep my eyes straight ahead, staring into my victim's eyes as I cock the gun. I'm unblinking, even as his disgusting hand slithers down. I'm still in my birthday dress, I realize.

" The ambassador is now aware we have his daughter. We going for ransom or bait?" My lips purse as the horrifying man chuckles, "Let's leave it to our friend the ambassador, shall we? It will be like a surprise!" But I know what'll really happen. There's no mystery in my father's action, he will undoubtedly attempt a rescue for 'daddy's little princess'. He'll demand proof I am alive, pretending to bring the ransom when really… he'll just be bringing more soldiers to their death. All for me. So much death, just for me. The disgusting man turns his full attention back to me, pressing against my back more intimately than before and suddenly it's too much. "Now, love-" Before he can react my hands turn the gun around pressing it point blank to my chest- if he doesn't get the fuck away from me he'll die too -and pull the trigger.

.

Pain.

Pain!

! ! ! !

PAIN!

Awake. The phantom sensation of a hole in my chest took over my conscious for a few seconds. Breathing hitched, I couldn't move. I couldn't move! Where was I? Open my eyes, couldn't open my eyes!

! ! !

! !

!

Cloth touched skin; blankets, futon, nightgown. Breeze from the window, the smell of rain, chirping birds. Once the initial panic of sleep paralysis settled down, I cataloged all the sensations I could without opening my eyes. Eventually I could move again. Slowly, slowly, I got up. Long, black, straight hair fell over my hunched shoulders. My eyes remained closed. Unwilling to see the world through these eyes just yet, I ran my hands over my arms in slow, soothing circuits, feeling the goose bumps and pausing over the scars on my upper arms…

"Hit the target!"shoot him…!

I shook my head very slowly.

"Attack your brother, Kiko!"pull the trigger…

My hands continued to my shoulders, more scars.

"Kano! Attack her until she fights back!"it'll be fun-!

No. I wasn't there. This wasn't the compound or the mansion.

"Worthless child! Refusing the gift you were born with. Will a beating show you sense?"

I couldn't breathe. My hands had reached my neck. Unknowingly, they'd begun to constrict. My hands stilled. With one last squeeze of my fingers around my throat, I got up to start the day.

.

God, I hated mornings.