A/N: I know that the last chapter was short so I will try to make up for it in this one. This one will be entirely focused on Kenshin and i nhis P.O.V. So on with the story!

In My Mind

I sat there thinking of that girl and her shining face. Her wonderful smile and kindness. No one had really ever treated me human like her. I was always treated different, because I was. She was like Tomoe, she looked at me in the way that people would a friend, it was at first sight too.

I looked at Tae as she continued to bandage my hand.I had thrown another tantrum, I always do. There is something inside me that is like that. But I know that I am a beast. It is hard to imagine to look in a mirror and see the scar that is on my cheek. It is so unbearible to see something like that, so I hide. That is why I have kept myself in this prison. It is the only place that I am truly excepted, and nothing will ever change that.

" Himura-san, why did you yell at that girl? She was incredibly kind to you," Tae's words were only adding fuel to the guilty fire. I knew what I had done was wrong. At this point in time there was nothing I could do to change it." Himura-san you better answer me," Tae said in a strong voice and I looked up. She looked into my eyes with a bit of fire." What is wrong with you all of the sudden? You're never so calm?" her voice had now soothed over and I was looking at her with lifeless eyes.

" I don't know Tae-dono," I said. That was all I could muster as she tightened the bandages.

" Himura-san, this is why you are still here. Not because of your sentence. But because you're so darn stubborn," she said and I looked to the cement floor. Tears welled a bit. I was now throwing another uncontrolled tantrum. Like I said, even thinking to stop it is unstoppable. Maybe it is because I don't want to feel anything more than the hate that still consumed my heart.

I was swaying my body shaking away from her and crouching down real low." Himura-san, stop that!" I heard her yell, but my mind wouldn't stop." Himura-san!" she yelled and I coud feel the people looking our way." Stop it right now Kenshin!" she yelled and my body fell limp and I went to her chest like a child." Now that is out of your system come on let's get you to your room," I looked to her with a nod. My mind wondered otherwise. I didn't want to do that to poor Tae. She always had the toughest time with me. She was always right. I was stubborn. I didn't want to except it either. That was just how I am.

Tae stood me up and I looked at her face for a moment. She was staring at me in worry and I didn't understand why then as we got to the hallway where we were a bit away from people she took my hands and looked at me in this frightful way." Himura-san. Your outbursts are becomng so wild. You need to stop before you go to far. I am afraid for you," I watched her face as she looked away." Himura-san, of all the people I take care of in this place I know that you are the only one that does not belong," she said and looked at me almost teary." And I know that you did not do the crime, but these ourbursts you have say otherwise," I looked to my bare feet and she began to talk again. " Kenshin, I don't know what to say to you. I have tried so hard to stop you from so many things you're killing yourself slowly and you need to stop. I can not do anything more," she lead me to the room and I looked at the door. Again Tae looked in my eyes and saw the lifelessness and then to my hands. " Kenshin I can only say one thing to you," her voice seemed a bit more serious than sad. " If you do not stop scratching at your hands I swear I will tie them behind your back and stap y ou to the bed to stop you," she was scolding me now. I was smiling a bit at her and she opened the door. " Exactly what I wanted to see," she walked me in and shut the door.

I looked at the white walls of my prison once again. This made my face fall and I knew that was why Tae had made me smile, because I was going to scowl and she wanted to see me bright for once. I looked at my feet in despair. I sat in the same palce as I always did and I thought. The topic I thought of: The reason I didn't have my freedom anymore.

I thought of the day. Twelve years ago, the bloody day that had changed my life forever. The details, the smell of the sticky red liquid. I was never fond of blood, that might have been why I refused to do several pictures back then. I always thought of Tomoe as the smiling figure I would protect. I didn't get to do that though. One man had changed that. He was so close to the family, but so far away. He was so cold and distant and framed me for it. That was why I hated him. Not for saying it was my fault but that he had killed her in cold blood.

But as I thought harder, my mind had become mad at me. It sounds crazy, but what I mean is that my mind didn't want me to remember, but there was no stopping what had started.

Snapping my eyes open I ran over the scar and I looked to the ground feeling the blood bubble at my feet. I couldn't stand it and forced my eyes closed only to see the event once again. There was no escape, no escape that would ever save me. I looked around the room and saw what was back then and I closed my eyes and let my other side take me over. This was one of the few times it was my choice and I wanted it to happen. At least in times I was in peril, things could be changed.

Hate was consuming me, and maybe I was crazy, sometimes that was the only way to get away from the true madness. I blinked and looked again in tears. My side had taken me in the darkness and he was in rage. His body was swaying back and forth and he ws acting more rash than normal. It was my fault, and I didn't care if I died.I knew that it would happen soon, maybe then the madness would stop and my freedom would come.

I felt my body seem to roll and I geard the door open. Like I said, when my one side takes over it is like I disappear. I saw them, several women storming in the room and I was being defensive. My other self that had been named Battousai was acting like an animal. He was on all fours and growling at the nurses. They were being shoved away practically by Battosai and one was able to out manuver them. She went for me and before I realized the situation there was a needle in my arm.

I took controll of my body and they could see. They looked upon me in pity and Tae came up to me." HImura-san, you let yourself go again," her words barely made it to me I my senses failed a bit. I looked to her and blinked and looked to her again. She was moving away and I wanted to follow, but my body was too numb. I gave up the attempt as my world fell dark.

A/N: I know it is a bit creepy but I wanted it that way. He is not crazy, but has an alternate persnallity that is a bit destructive. I just want you to know that. Kenshin is very tortured like a caged bird that would do anything for freedom. He is prepared to die for the freedom too. Well I know that the chapter was psycotic so say what you want I am prepared. Ja ne KenSan out!