Ch. 2 The beginning of the end
George couldn't sleep that night, of course he couldn't sleep, sleep wasn't a part of him any more. He just waited for the sun to come up so he would have a reason to get up and wander around before leaving the burrow. He hated the burrow, or more or less the people that inhabited the damned place.
Last night, or several hours ago, whichever, he sat on the roof of the house, the only place he feels free anymore. He can tell his secrets and thoughts to the night sky. Only the night, because they night doesn't reveal secrets, it keeps and hinders them.
He cannot ever tell Fred his secrets, he and his twin have lost their bond. Ever since what happened to Molly, their brotherly bond has been permanently erased. Much to his brothers dismay it will never be rebound. But George doesn't care anymore. He doesn't care about much anymore. Why care. He doesn't see the purpose to it anymore. He only cares for his mother now. But even then he still doesn't. Because he knows that if he cared for his mother he would be with his family trying to make them stronger, like his mother wanted or wants.
He hated thinking of her as dead, but he couldn't help it, she may as well be since no one ever speaks of her and it is almost like his family has come back from her funeral every time they wake up and see him. The twins are the spitting image of Molly. Even though they are both male. They received their eyes and smile from her smile. That's why George doesn't smile anymore. He cant bare to see her in the mirror when he looks at it.
His family has almost stopped talking to him to. No one comforts him, not even Ginny. Even though she wants to, but he is blind to her feelings for him, her feelings of remorse. She wants to hug him and cry with him but he is stern, hard as a rock, he wont cry, not for Molly. He has turned away from them. They think he hates his own mother. Whey would he hate his mother, what she did, what she did was, was horrible to herself yes, but it was grand, miraculous, it sowed the true love she had for that person.
Only he knows the real reason why his mother is in that state, He wont speak of it, he doesn't dwell on it often, it would break him. It would break the family. Of course he thinks to himself he is over exaggerating, but he knows he isn't, its like a false comfort. No one has ever felt this way, Never, no one he knows, not Fred, not Bill, not Ron, no one. Only him, and he cant share with anyone, no that would make things worse.
He rolls from his bed and walks down the creaky stairs. His father is awake, looking at the daily prophet. Normally he is gone by now, but he is talking them to Kings Cross, normally that was Molly's job, 'Damned house, Damned food, damned father.' George thought in his mind.
"'Ello Fred." his father says in a droll tone of voice. Not even looking up, Not even noticing that he wasn't Fred, he was George. His mother could tell the different. She could always tell the difference. But no one cares about that. He is invisible to everyone. But why fight it, its not worth it, his father isn't worth it.
"Hi dad." he says barely whispering as he grabs a piece of burnt toast and heads out the door into the dim sunlight. The clouds moved in heavily last night. The little streaks of sunlight were depressing. Why couldn't it just be black, just black, so sunlight. Why bother with sunlight. He whisked his hand and his c.d. played appeared in his hand. It was playing Good Charlotte. He turned it to number ten. And started listening to the song.
'Turn on channel seven at a quarter to eight You see the same damn thing it's just a different day and No one really knows why this is happening But it's happening And everywhere you go it's just a different place You get the same dark feeling See the same sad faces No one really cares that this is happening' He looks out at the grassy hills, the plain exterior or London. The stupid country side, his hidden house, his shack, his nothing.
'We come into this world And we all are the same In that moment there's no one to blame But the world is black And hearts are cold And there's no hope That's what we're told And we can't go back
It won't be the same Forever changed By the things we've seen, seen' "She's not coming back is she?" He asks himself, "no don't think like that, she is, she will,"
'Living in this place it's always been this way There's no one doing nothing so there's nothing changed And I can't live when this world just keeps dying It's dying People always tell me this is part of the plan That God's got everybody in His hands But I can only pray that God is listening Is He listening?'
"But it's your fault, you know it, but you keep hiding it, its your fault, your, all yours!" its as if there was an internal battle in between him and his mind. Like a devil angel play off on both shoulders.
'We're living in this world Growing colder everyday Nothing can stay perfect now I see But the world is black And hearts are cold And there's no hope That's what we're told And we can't go back It won't be the same Forever changed By the things we've seen, seen, seen' "No its not, its not," "Yes, yes, it is it is, you know it, you know…..know…." He pressed his hands against his face. It wasn't his fault was it? No it couldn't have been, but yes, yes it was, it was all his fault.
'We come into this world And we all are the same And in that moment there's no one to blame
But we're living in this world Growing colder everyday Nothing can stay perfect now I see The world is black And hearts are cold There's no hope That's what we're told And we can't go back (We can't go back)
It won't be the same (It won't be the same) Forever changed (What will ever change) By the things we've seen, seen, seen' Yes it is, but no one will ever know, no never, never, NEVER!" he yelled out screaming. The birds in the tree nearby all flew away squawking.
'Turn on channel seven at a quarter to eight You see the same damn thing it's just a different day
And no one really knows why this is happening' He sighed, his hands in his lap. A tear escaped his eyes. HE say his family all leave the house, Ginny was looking for him calling out his name.
"George, George where are you, we are leaving, George?" He turned the corner and looked at her. She smiled and hugged him, "Come on, we are leaving, your stuff is already in the car, dad aparated with them." She looked at him, her big blue green eyes shining at him. He didn't know what Ginny thought of him, he was her favorite brother, the only one she could connect with, but that was lost when Molly had that happen to her. He have a weak smile to her, she frowned but she knew he meant well.
She turned away and walked towards the ford Angelina, which they had gotten back by some matter of Hagrid. He climbed in the back with the other two brothers and sister. Percy was gone, bill and Charlie were gone, well in the house, but not with him anymore. They were on their way to platform 9 ¾'s He kept listening to the c.d. player, only know he was listening to A.F.I. A bit more tragic and remorse group. His brothers hated him listening to all of this type of music, his twin said it was harmful and depressing. But what did his twin know anymore. Obviously not a lot since he was harmful and depressed before he started listening to the music.
'Little fuckers.' thought George. 'They don't know, they never will, stupid fuckers,' Then he looked at Ginny. His eyes softened a little. He didn't think that way towards Ginny, not as much hatred as for Fred and Ron and the other brothers. And especially his father. No he was more sympathetic for his little sister. She had gone through so much already, what with her first year misshape. Poor child.
Ginny had started cutting and tried to commit suicide after that incident. His voice kept taunting her mind, it still does on occasion, he can tell, he can see her aura, it turns a deep shade of red and purple and her skin goes pale. Not as bad as before. But he spent many nights with her in her bed. She was scared he was coming for her, he, tom riddle, Tom marvalo riddle, 'the bastard if I had the chance he would kill the son of a bitch in two seconds.' He thought to himself. No He didn't think of Ginny like he did the rest, he loved Ginny. But he couldn't open up to her, not on his life could he, no matter how much he wanted to he couldn't.
He wouldn't do that to Ginny, she couldn't and wouldn't be able to take it, he had experienced it, Ginny never will and doesn't need to. His brothers were looking at him, he just glared madly at them. Ron was the one with the hot headed attitude. Always around Harry Potter, he began thinking he was better than everyone else in this car because he was friends with the oh so famous Harry Potter.
Harry Potter didn't know pain, sure he grew up without his parents but he didn't experience what George did, no way could Harry Potters pain compare to Georges, no ones could. Sure Harry has a scare, that he shows off all the time to girls. But George has an internal scare, a scare that will never go away as long as he lives. And the only way it can go away is if Molly lives. But its doubtful. Its so doubtful. But he will keep hope. Hope for Ginny's sake, for Ginny, his beloved sister.
They reached Kings Cross and bailed out of the car, of course George grabbed his things and practically ran from the others. HE walked swiftly towards the brick wall between platform nine and ten and when no one was looking he flew himself into the wall and crossed the barrier into platform 9 ¾'s. He moved onto the train. The red steam engine train, who knew who the conductor was, he didn't care anymore. Why would he care, no that was a stupid thing to care about.
He found a compartment, an empty one, he didn't want to talk to anyone for the whole ten hours he was on the god damned train. He locked the compartment closed and drew curtains over it so no one could see in. A few people rattled the door hoping it was free but to no avail so they went on to the next.
George threw his things down and rested his head. The train hadn't left the station yet, He was already tired of the train, the stupid mother fuckers on the train too. He hated it all. He hated everything now. His friends, he lost his friends, he had no friends, he doesn't care about friends anymore either, he doesn't care, why would he care?
After a few more rattles of the knob He was getting aggravated. Slowly the train started to move then there was a knock on the door. He didn't want to answer it so he didn't. Then the door slid open. The person on the other end had used a door opening spell.
"Ever heard of privacy?" he yelled out rudely.
"I'm sorry, but there's no where else to sit, can I sit with you, since its only you in here?" George looked at them, then he waved his hand. The other person sat on the chair opposite him and was silent for a few moments.
