Rating: T for occasional language. Also, see other warnings.
Disclaimer: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and all related characters belong to Nickelodeon.
Summary: Bradford has always blamed Michelangelo for his misfortunes and especially for his mutation so when he manages to capture the young ninja, he's going to make sure he knows exactly what it's like. 2k12 AU.
Warning: Warnings for physical and mental torture in this story abound, as well as for implied and highly disturbing situations. Trigger warnings may apply for some chapters. There will not, however, be gruesome details. Some things are best left up to the imagination.
A/N: petaQ – contemptible person (one without honour) – Klingon. Used in place of the 'Space Heroes' version of Klingon. Fuji-san - Mount Fuji.
Sorry for the lack of other updates in the past couple of weeks. I've been a little *cough* preoccupied with trainwreck events of the real world. On the positive side, I ordered a new custom-built computer! Should only be a couple of weeks til I get it XD Scary thing is, I'll have to clean up my desk I turned into a dumping ground over the last 3 years, haha Y_Y
Possible trigger warning applies for this chapter.
Nerdycatisreading: Yeah, his ability to communicate is really limited given the circumstances but it's far better than nothing and at least by engaging, he'll be able to recover his memories and ability to understand his family faster. That and they'll be able to help him easier.
Paige-in-a-spellboook, Ashley and ViolaHarmony: Splinter will do everything in his power to catch up to his sons again. Thank you :-)
Minnie1015: They are! And he is! You're welcome. This one has been an obsession for so long and so much of it has been written and edited again and again that it (and the next approx 20 chapters) are pretty ready to go with minimal further editing that I just couldn't let it wait more than the couple of weeks between chapters, despite uploading so much other content of recent :-)
ViolaHarmony: Yeah, it's not going to be pretty when they find out but the trouble is, Mikey has no way to tell them anything right now, even if he wanted to. Though that's certainly not going to stop them from trying.
Concrit, thoughts and comments always welcomed.
How Much is that Turtle in the Window
ch 12
Mikey blinked his watering eyes rapidly as the sun peaked over the horizon, blinding him with its dazzling brilliance.
Once the Foot were well gone, Leo had emerged from the shadows followed closely by Donnie. Then, wordlessly, Leo helped Raph to pull Mikey to his feet again and the foursome began running through the dense cedar woods once more. Shortly before dawn, they finally reached the mountainous, winding road and keeping to the edge of it in case of traffic and the need to dart back into the protective forest, they began running along it. Now tiring, they raced around a bend and were met with the brilliant sight of the rising sun over the side of Fuji-san.
Despite their father's many stories when they were young, they'd never actually imagined seeing such a thing for themselves and for a moment, all four brothers were overwhelmed by the glorious beauty but all too soon that moment was broken by the sound of a vehicle approaching from behind. Leo motioned with his head to the left and the four dove back into the forest, ducking just in time to see a small bus full of sleepy tourists sail past.
"Come on, let's go," Leo said softly when the sound of the engine was long gone from Mikey's hearing. Mikey stared up at Leo with a plaintive look; he was so tired. Yes, Raph and Leo were helping him but he wasn't used to moving on two legs anymore and even with his arms around their shoulders, the weights of the paws encasing his hands and wrists were weighing him down and hurting like hell.
"I'm sorry, Mikey, we can't afford to stop," Leo murmured apologetically, reading his mind as he and Raph forced Mikey to his feet again. "We need to keep moving. We're still far too close to Foot territory and we need to put as much distance between us and them as we can before there is too much traffic on the road."
"That's unlikely to take long," Donnie pointed out matter-of-factly as he edged out onto the road once more. None of them felt comfortable running along the road being so exposed as it was, especially given the morning light, but it was far easier to run three-abreast there, than in the dense human-made forest.
Mikey sighed miserably but tried his best to help support his own weight, despite how sore and stiff his legs were after just over two days on the run.
They had to duck for cover another six times before they came across a small road leading off the main one to a tourist area. It was here that Leo decided to turn down, much to Donnie and Raph's annoyance.
"Are you insane, Leo?" Raph snapped, making Mikey wince in fright and try to pull away. "God knows how many people will be down there!"
"Raph's right! You know we can't go there!" Donnie immediately chimed in. "It's far too dangerous, even this early in the morning. We'll be seen for sure!"
"Staying exposed by the main road is far more dangerous," Leo countered firmly. "It's getting busier with each passing minute. At least down here, we might be able to find some transport."
Mikey blinked in confusion at Leo. Transport? Was Leo, his straight-laced, goody-goody brother really talking about...
"Stealing? You want us to steal someone's car?"
"Borrow," Leo immediately corrected, "and preferably a van rather than a car."
"What, you plan to bring it back after we're done?" Raph asked sarcastically with a short disbelieving laugh. "Perhaps leave a note explaining how we're so sorry but we had no choice but we'll leave it at such and such a place to collect at a set time?"
"Don't be ridiculous, Raphael," Leo retorted in a prickly tone.
"Borrowing implies returning it afterwards. How are we supposed to do such a thing?" Donnie asked, staring Leo down.
'Yeah, Leo,' Mikey agreed silently, blinking once in Leo's direction to show his agreement with their brothers.
Leo sighed, "Fine, then we are stealing but we'll leave it somewhere safe and in good condition with a note asking for the vehicle to be returned to the owner with an apology."
Raph snorted derisively and pulled Mikey and Leo, off the road as a vehicle turned into it. "Look, I'm not arguing that we shouldn't do this," Raph grunted, "I mean, we don't exactly have a lot of choice right now, I'm only shocked that you're the one suggesting it!"
Leo fixed Raph with a sideways look.
"It's just you're such a self-righteous bastard that I never would have guessed you had it in you. Normally, the rest of us would probably have to knock you out and drag you into the stolen car to make you even consider such a 'dishonourable' act."
Leo stiffened, offended. "Well, as you just said, Raphael, we don't exactly have much choice right now. We need to put as much distance between us and this area as we can to keep Mikey safe and this is the only option open to us. We're still close enough that if the Foot realise using the tracking device is no longer an option, they could still set the dogs on us to find us."
Mikey wilted in shame. It was all his fault Leo was considering doing something so bad... If only he hadn't been so weak as to get captured in the first place or he'd been strong enough to fight back, then Leo never would have to debase himself so. Leonardo would always do whatever was necessary for his family, he now remembered, but doing this would hurt him deep down in his soul.
"Hey," he felt a hand suddenly cup his chin, pushing it up so he was forced to meet his brother's reddish eyes, "Don't blame yourself, Mikey, none of this is your fault," Donnie said softly, making Leo and Raph abruptly stop arguing to also look at him in worry.
Mikey wrenched his head away from his brother's hand; he had no idea! How could he? Donnie hadn't been there, only he was! He was probably goofing around that night, as usual, leading to all of this! His Alpha probably took advantage of his usual lack of focus, beat him and dragged him back to... he gasped and started to tremble as the terrifying memories of the Shredder condemning him flooded his mind.
"Bradford, make arrangements to ship it to the Foot Compound in Japan where it will never be found again. You'll be joining it to make sure it gets there safely."
"At once, Master Shredder," Dogpound replied in a pleased tone, bowing deeply again.
Mikey gasped in horror."You can't do this!" he yelled desperately.
"On the contrary, you reptilian freak, I can do as I like," Shredder smiled nastily behind his mask. Then he turned to Bradford, fixing his unnerving, scarred visage on the former human. "The next time I see either of you, I want it cowed and obedient. Have it trained like the mongrel it is."
He hadn't thought about that night in so long. Hadn't remembered the Shredder handing him over to his Alpha. Mikey shook his head wildly, trying to clear it of the horrible memories of being helplessly dragged down to the dungeon, of being collared and branded, all after Shredder's damning words of 'treating it like the mongrel it is' and not wanting to see him again until he was trained to be obedient.
No!
He didn't want to remember!
Why did his brothers have to come after him after so long?
Why did they have to make him remember?
Unable to help himself, he glanced down at his upper left arm, catching sight of the once vicious brand proving to all who saw it that he was property of the Foot and he cried out, the only sound escaping him that of harsh, gasping breath.
He was far better off not remembering but they just had to find a way to come after him and force him to remember, didn't they? They were better off without such a useless, pathetic failure as him, someone who only ever disappointed everyone around him and caused trouble so why couldn't they have just stayed home and left him to his fate?
"Mikey!"
"Hey, what's wrong, bro?"
He fought desperately to pull away from probing hands, from octopus arms seeking to hold him, to contain him.
"What's wrong with him, Donnie?"
"I-I don't know! I-If I had to guess, I would think he's caught up in a flashback or something. God knows what he's been through all these months and he can't tell us, meaning he's forced to bottle it up inside. B-but I don't think the sight of that brand is helping!"
An impatient snarl sounded out making him recoil and suddenly a red cloth blocked his view of the hated burn, wrapping around his upper arm. Then he was pulled in tight by emerald green arms that ensconced him, rubbing at his shell. Breathing raggedly and gasping for air as he slowly became aware of more arms wrapping around them, around him and of soothing words being repeated in a low tone over and over, Mikey finally buried his head into Raph's shoulder, shutting out the world as best he could.
-:-
"Is he finally asleep?" Leo asked softly as he continued to drive the van they'd eventually managed to steal along the road.
"Yeah, poor kid's exhausted," Raph answered after a few moments, causing Mikey to frown ever-so-slightly and shift to bury himself deeper into his brother's side.
"Physically, mentally and emotionally," Donnie added quietly from his seat beside Leo. "Not that any of us are much better, right now. Are you sure you're alright to drive, Leo?"
"I'll be okay," Leo replied after an almost too-long pause. "Once we put some distance between Fuji-san and ourselves, I'll find somewhere we can pull off the road to rest for a few hours."
Mikey felt Raph move slightly as he nodded. "If you need a break, let us know. We can take turns driving."
Leo snorted in tired amusement, causing Raph to bristle under him, "Would you even remember to drive on the left, Raph?"
"When I see oncoming traffic, sure!"
"Well, I think we can all see it doesn't take a genius to realise you shouldn't be driving in Japan, Raph," Donnie teased lightly.
"Or anywhere, for that matter," Leo chuckled. Mikey briefly fought the urge to smile in faint, sleepy amusement.
Raph growled warningly and the stolen van was filled with silence other than the soothing hum of tyres running over smooth asphalt, allowing Mikey to sink closer to sleep.
After a time, Leo sighed quietly. "Now he's finally asleep, tell us about him, Don. What have those petaQ done to him?" Leo didn't use such language lightly and Mikey could quite easily imagine Leo's hands clenching the wheel, the blood forced from his knuckles at the tightness of his grip.
"I haven't exactly had a chance to sit down and examine or question him, Leo," Donnie replied stiffly.
There was silence for a moment, then, "I know that Donnie but knowing you, you have made some observations and come to some conclusions. Just... tell us what you can. We need to know."
There was another soft sigh from the front, this time from Donatello.
"Well, even without seeing him, it's pretty obvious to tell that he's been physically, mentally and emotionally abused this whole time," Donnie began hesitantly.
"Yeah," Raph grunted, " but we knew that would be the case from the moment he'd been taken."
He heard Donnie swallow nervously from the front seat and Mikey almost forced himself to sit up and reach out to Donnie, knowing that would stop him. However, as much as Mikey wanted to, for his own sake as much as his brother's, he knew Leo and Raph needed to know just as much for their own peace of mind so he stayed still because they'd all shut up again if they realised he was actually awake and listening.
And... and it wasn't like he could answer their questions...
Suddenly, Donnie started speaking again, his voice clipped and clinical as if he'd locked away his emotions in order to cope. Sounding like that, Donnie reminded him of Mai when she was working on him and it was all he could do to suppress his shuddering to avoid giving himself away.
"Some things we can be sure of are that they've treated Mikey like an animal, like a dog. We've seen proof of his conditioning in how he responds to common commands, both verbal and non-verbal. The way they'd shackled him was obviously an attempt to emulate dog-like behaviour as much as possible, given that his arms and legs are not naturally designed the same way. Those..." Donnie's voice broke and for a moment, it was obvious he struggled to go on, "metal paws have been welded in place to ensure Mikey would not be able to get them off, effectively rendering him helpless between those and the shackles that were on his legs when we found him and I can only imagine the burns he sustained in the process and the intense pain it caused as a result."
Raph's arm around him tightened slightly as if unwilling to ever let him go again and Mikey was more than happy to stay right there, here it was safe.
"It is also obvious that collar has cut into him numerous times, judging by the scarring and callouses on his neck around it. Then there are both faded and recent burn marks from being electrocuted by the shock collar I removed back at the Foot base."
"Speaking of that thing," Raph spoke up, his voice taut with pain and barely suppressed anger, "why won't he talk? And don't give me that bullshit about being trained not to! That might be part of it but you saw him earlier! He was screaming but he didn't make a damn sound! There's no way that just training him not to speak would stop him from even making a sound when he's freaking out that much!"
"You're right Raph, it... it wouldn't," Donnie admitted hesitantly, "but trauma might."
"What kind of trauma stops someone from being able to even make a sound?"
Donnie shrugged reluctantly. "I'm not a psychologist, Raph but it could be anything. I've read all kinds of accounts how the simplest things like the trauma of losing a loved one or things such as repeated torture or torment, even just being forced to keep terrible secrets can cause someone to become mute."
"What kinds of secrets..?"
There was silence and Mikey figured Donnie couldn't bring himself to elaborate and he was extremely thankful for that.
"You said they treated him like a dog, Don," Leo spoke up hesitantly, "is... is it possible that they removed his voicebox like some humans do to stop dogs from barking?"
"They don't actually remove their voiceboxes when they debark dogs, Leo, they cut their vocal cords and it doesn't make dogs unable to bark, it just mutes them significantly so they sound like they have a raspy voice like a person with a bad throat infection."
"So you don't think that's what happened to Mikey?"
"I don't," Donnie replied firmly. "It would be a waste of time and effort doing that if they were trying to stop Mikey from talking altogether."
"Then what do you think..."
"I don't know, Leo!" Donnie snapped. "If I knew, I'd tell you and then I'd be doing everything in my power to fix it!"
"Sorry, Donnie."
"N-no, I'm the one who's sorry. I-I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."
"It's okay, we're used to you being irritable when you're stressed."
And boy were they, Mikey remembered distantly.
Donnie took in a deep breath and everyone was quiet for a few minutes until Raph broke the silence again.
"Once upon a time if someone told me there was a way to shut Mikey up for just five minutes, I'd have been demanding they tell me how and asking how long it would take to do it. Now... I'd give anything to hear his voice again..." he said softly, his own voice breaking as he spoke.
"You and me both, Raph," Donnie replied in a strained tone.
Mikey clenched his fists as best he could within the giant metal paws, trying not to wince at the discomfort it caused in case it gave him away.
"What else can you tell us?" Leo asked softly after another minute to break the uncomfortable silence.
"Well, it's all conjecture at this point but there is evidence to suspect that someone's been experimenting on him. Small slices of skin removed, a few cuts here and there obviously made by someone skilled with a scalpel, old track marks... Nothing major as if whoever it was was trying to be careful with their only specimen but... it's evidence nonetheless... and then there's..."
"There's what, Donnie?" Leo pressed when Donnie fell silent again.
"No, I can't be sure," Donnie replied, obviously shaking his head from the way his voice sounded.
"Can't be sure of what?" Raph growled threateningly, tightening his hold on Mikey again and causing Mikey to wince slightly.
"Nothing. Just forget I said anything."
"Yeah, you're really trying my patience, Donatello."
"Too bad, Raphael," Donnie replied too coolly. Then he sighed again, changing the subject. "Mikey's going to have a lot of trouble adjusting to being able to walk properly again after ten months of being unable."
Ten months? Mikey stiffened, unsure whether to be relieved it was only ten months or aghast that it had taken his brothers so long to find him.
"We'll just ha..."
"Guys," Raph spoke up tightly and Mikey felt a slight movement from him.
"Mikey's awake, isn't he?" Donnie asked flatly.
"Yeah," Raph grunted reluctantly.
The jig was up. Mikey fluttered his eyes open and looked up to see Leo's concerned gaze focused on him in the rear vision mirror and Donnie turned in his seat, facing him.
"How long have you been awake?" Donnie asked gently and all Mikey could do was shrug and give a small, sheepish smile.
Leo sighed. "The whole time," he confirmed. Mikey looked away. "You should have let us know you were awake, Mikey. Why didn't you?"
"How's he supposed to answer that?" Raph snorted as Mikey yawned in response.
"Because you're tired and were trying to sleep," Donnie interpreted.
Mikey blinked once in confirmation. That, of course, wasn't the only reason but it was part of it. Even if he couldn't sleep, just resting helped and took the edge off.
"Still, you should have let us know and we would have stopped talking about you," Donnie continued apologetically.
Mikey huffed. They'd needed to, he knew that and who was he to upset his brothers more than he already had just because he was uncomfortable hearing them talk about him?
Donnie sighed and reached a hand back, resting it comfortingly on Mikey's knee. Mikey's gaze fixed on it. "Still, next time, tell us. We don't want to make you more uncomfortable and we can easily wait until you're actually asleep."
Mikey blinked in agreement, knowing full well he'd do no such thing. Then, he settled back down, head on Raph's lap again and closed his eyes, trying to sleep once more.
-:-
He'd allowed the quiet hum of the van on the road to lull him to light sleep at last but every time someone spoke or suddenly moved, he was instantly awake again. That had been his new normal for quite some time now if he was honest, something that living in constant terror had long since taught him. He was pretty good at feigning continued sleep when necessary though and that was a skill that had come in handy, he'd discovered during a few late-night visits by Three-Five-Eight and his friends when they'd come looking for entertainment. Luckily for him, if he didn't react, they often lost interest, though there were certainly times they worked hard to 'wake' him up instead, especially in the earlier days... Unfortunately, after earlier when his brothers realised he'd been awake all along, they'd paid closer attention to him and soon realised the slightest noise woke him now or kept him awake if he hadn't had the chance to fall asleep.
Mikey blinked his eyes open and turned his head to look up at Raph. His brother, too, had finally fallen asleep, his head resting heavily against the window and he was lightly snoring away. Mikey gave a slight smile. He hadn't realised just how much he'd missed the raucous sound of Raph's snoring or that it would even be possible to miss it.
"You didn't sleep long, Mikey," Donnie observed quietly. "Did we wake you again?"
'No,' Mikey blinked, once he'd turned his head to face front again.
"Are you alright?"
Mikey gave a minuscule nod, then blinked instead, hoping desperately that Donnie missed it. But a delighted grin split Donnie's features, sending a thrill of utter terror coursing through Mikey's veins.
"That's the first time you've nodded since we got you back!" Donnie exclaimed happily. Mikey's heart began to pound heavily in his plastron.
A delighted grin split Dogpound's wide, furry features, [That's the first time you've nodded for a couple of weeks now, Spot. Guess it's too much to think you'd have learnt already.] Dogpound's smile turned cruel as he began dragging a struggling Mikey towards the vet surgery without even stopping to put the muzzle on him first. [Mai will be so happy,] he purred, [she's been wanting to examine how you heal so fast compared to humans and has been asking when you'd be paying her another visit.]
"I'm sorry! Please d-don't take to Mai," Mikey begged silently, wishing like hell he still had a voice to protest with as he struggled all the way, trying desperately to ignore the choking of the collar cutting into his throat as he was dragged flailing across grass, gravel and dirt.
[Oh ho! The little mongrel earns itself a second session with the scary surgeon for forgetting its place and pretending it's more than the pathetic, useless mutt it really is,] Bradford guffawed in delight.
Mikey's eyes flew wide in horror and though he was panicking, he fought to keep his mouth shut.
All too soon, the dreaded building loomed in front of him and Dogpound opened the door to drag him inside. Mikey cried out ever-so-silently and scrabbled desperately at the door frame, attempting yet again to hang on with metal paws that couldn't bend or grip but as always, it was no good. Bradford pulled harshly at the lead and his vision blacking momentarily, Mikey collapsed and was dragged helplessly inside.
"Mikey? What's wrong?" Donnie asked, alarm filling his voice.
Leo eased his foot off the accelerator and slowed down as he looked back at Mikey in the rearview mirror.
Mikey rapidly blinked, 'no,' pushing himself up and cringing frantically back into the corner of the seat furthest from Raphael.
"You can't tell us nothing's wrong when clearly there is something wrong," Leo frowned as Mikey's heart sped up further as fresh panic took over.
How could he have been so stupid? Human gestures like nodding and shaking his head got him punished every time and he'd been so good for ages now. Tears filled his eyes and he was helpless to stop them from overflowing as he feared what she'd do to him this time!
Mai smiled excitedly as Dogpound dumped Mikey painfully on the floor at her feet. Dogpound, fed up with his fighting, yanked back the leash to stun him before proceeding to pick Mikey up and carry him inside.
[Has someone been a naughty boy?] Mai asked in the tone of an adult talking to a small child or pet as she followed them into the surgery and Mikey cowered away in fright. [Well, we'll just have to see about correcting that bad behaviour.] She whirled around and walked over to the phone on her desk to call for her assistants. A few minutes later, two ninja entered, including Three-Five-Eight and Mikey quailed at the sight and smell of him. Without a word, the pair stripped him of the shackles on his legs and lifted him onto the table, strapping him down even as he fought fiercely against it, knowing all the while there was no escape.
There was never any escape.
[Lift the subject's head,] Mai commanded, emotionless.
Three-Five-Eight did as she bade, even as Bradford grunted, arms crossed, [What's the deal with the stupid helmet anyway? It's not like it keeps his head tied down.]
Mai smiled coldly. [Cuts off his hearing. Hakuba wants him isolated as much as possible to aide his training, remember? That's why no...]
At that moment, the helmet was clipped in place and switched on, activating the white noise filter that prevented Mikey from hearing them talk. Still struggling futilely, he glared defiantly up at Mai, staring at her mouth. 'Joke's on you crazy lady, I can still lip-read!' he thought insolently. Then he realised that though he could see her lips moving, he couldn't understand a word she said and a fresh chill filled his soul.
Learning to lip-read while growing up was a requirement of their ninja training. However, since they weren't human, they were forced to learn it by watching television with the sound muted and in New York, with the few stations available to them in the sewers, they'd only been able to learn to lip-read English and in this nightmarish place, no one spoke ever English around him anymore.
A fresh determination filled him as he realised he would just have to learn to lip-read Japanese. Then his heart sank. Dogpound, Mai and Hakuba were the only ones he could even see the lips of as everyone else wore full-body uniforms which completely covered their faces. To make matters worse, being so low to the ground, he only rarely saw their faces as they spoke and Dogpound wasn't human anymore either.
He was so screwed.
Suddenly, a green and purple blur rushed him and Mikey screamed, trying and failing to raise his paws to ward them off, to fight back but they were just far too heavy to be effective.
He might've become used to them enough to move quite fast on all fours when need be but lifting them to defend himself with was another story.
Olive green arms snaked around him, entrapping him and pulling him forward and Mikey panicked all the more as he fought against the firm hold. His breathing sped up but he couldn't get enough air and he quickly began to feel lightheaded.
He sobbed hysterically as they held him down, making a game out of violating him in turns, playing with him like a toy.
"Mikey, calm down, it's just me, it's Donnie!"
He couldn't escape! His saloon door had been bolted closed again so he couldn't run when they first entered, chains then clipped onto the D-rings welded to his paws and stretched taut across the length of his kennel, his muzzle tightly in place so he couldn't bite again.
"It's okay, you're safe now. You're with us now, you're with your brothers."
"What the hell's going on?"
His braces removed and replaced with shackles tight around his ankles, forcing him spread-eagled onto his plastron with his tail cruelly yanked aside and clipped painfully out of the way.
"Mikey, look at me! It's me, Donnie. Leo and Raph are here too. You're alright now. You're safe!"
He quailed in terror and pain, trying fruitlessly to break free.
"Mikey! You have to calm down!"
No! He wanted them off of him! Get off! Please! He sobbed desperately.
"He's getting more worked up by the second. Donnie, we need to sedate him before he hurts himself or one of us."
Mikey's eyes opened wide as she jabbed a needle into his leg, feeling the cool rush of liquid injecting swiftly into his body.
No! Please! Not this again! Why wouldn't anyone help him?
"With what, Leo?"
A now familiar but weird numbness spread quickly throughout his body. It was becoming so hard to think, to move, yet he was still awake and aware. He could feel as she spread his jaws painfully apart, reaching in with scalpel and forceps.
"Ugh! I'll do it!"
A sudden stab of pain exploded against his neck. Then all went dark.
-:-
A/N: Honestly, that last section I agonised about how to handle it since it was mostly choppy pieces of flashbacks instead of a solid flashback but in the end I decided not to italicise the past because Mikey himself was confused and caught up in it. He couldn't tell the difference between now and then so, therefore, I left it as you read it.
Don't forget to let me know what you think :-)
* If you ever see my stories posted anywhere other than under the name Zelgadis55 at Deviant Art, FFNet, AO3 or Live Journal, then they have been stolen. Please report them.
