Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, storylines, etc. etc.
Rogue sat back in her chair, shivering. The chill of the frozen lake had set into her bones, and she snuggled into her seat in an attempt for warmth. But even had it been boiling in the plane, she would have still felt cold, for that is the way of fear. It settles into your heart, never lets you go until you conquer it. And Rogue was not a conquerer, she knew it. She had let fear make a home in her for years, and she never confronted her problems, always ran away, trying to leave all her worries behind her. But no matter how hard she tried to evade them, they always caught up with her. She knew in her heart that someday she would have to climb this mountain, this barrier, and finally be set free. But she couldn't. She had never been brave.
She sat there, quietly listening to the conversation around her, and as she heard their words, it seemed that the fear had frozen her heart, and gone beyond, to her whole body, every bone, every vein, every particle.
"The vertical thrusters are off line," said Scott, who with Storm, was at the controls of the plane.
"Then fix it!" snarled Logan.
"I'm trying!" he snarled back.
Please don't fight now, Rogue felt herself thinking. Please, things are too horrible already.This is not the time.
And as if answering her plea, both men turned away.
Storm pushed the power button, to check if the thrusters were good to go, but then suddenly all the lights in the plane blacked out. Then everybody heard the unmistakable noise of the plane shutting down.
"Oh no, no, no, we're losing all the power," said Storm desprately.
Rogue felt panic rising in her and as she looked around, she could tell that everyone else was in a similar situation.
But something else caught her eye. Alone, near the back of the plane, stood Jean Grey. But it wasn't the separation from the group that made Rogue notice her. It was her face, her posture, her expression. She wasn't bogged down by fear or frantic with panic, like everybody else. She seemed to be disconsolate, and sadness beyond words could be seen in every line of her face, the dejected position her body was slumped in. She was looking very intently at everybody, as if imbibing their appearance, and at last her gaze rested on the professor. Rogue watched as Xavier's body seemed to change as Jean looked at him, and she could tell there was some kind of connection between the two, silent words passed. Then Jean turned away, facing the back of the plane, and looked back only once. Her body seemed to change, she held her head higher, and her pose was one of determination, and the few steps down the ramp into the open were taken, even with a limp, were with strength and integrity.
Rogue knew that she might be the only person that knew that Jean had left the plane, but for an unspeakable reason, Rogue couldn't bring herself to tell the others. She felt she must respect Jean's actions, her wishes, and Rogue knew that Jean didn't want her absence to be noticed. At least not yet.
A snippet of conversation drifted toward her.
"We need some kind of outward power source for the power cells to connect," said Storm.
Rogue became hopefull that somehow they might be able to escape this nightmare.
Then the professor, who had before now remained completely silent, spoke.
"Jean?"
Scott looked around, to catch Jean's eye, but found the plane devoid of her prescence.
"Hey, where's Jean?", he asked.
"She's outside," came the professor's voice, still infuriatingly calm, but his eyes were closed and his voice distant, and Rogue knew that he was searching for Jean in his mind.
But not everyone else remained this calm. They saw Jean through the window, walking out toward the oncoming water, face screwed up against the wind and cold, heavily favoring one leg. Scott sprinted madly to the ramp, but just as he was about to descend shut. Rogue knew that he would do anything to save Jean, and watched in sadness and pity as he frustratingly pounded the ramp, trying to force it to open.
"STORM, PULL DOWN THE RAMP!" he yelled, and Rogue saw Storm, pulling the lever, again and again, but to no avail.
" It's not working!" she cried in desperation.
Then Logan turned around, to look at Scott, and Rogue got a glimpse of his face before he turned away. Every single line, crease, was wrinkled in worry, in apprehension, in fear, and Rogue was astounded with this show of compassion, of feeling. She had always thought of Logan as the lone rider, always isolated. He had always preferred working alone than with company, even when it meant extra danger for himself. This show of emotion, so ready to wear, unnerved Rogue, and added to the desperation of her situation.
Rogue stood up, and peering through the window, caught a glimpse of Jean's face. Tears ran down her cheeks, but her posture was one of determination, of finality, and Rogue felt something rise up in her chest as she looked, seeing Jean raise one arm behind her, and sacrificing her own strength to return power to the plane. Rogue looked back, and saw Logan, eyes glued to the scene, one hand on his head in despair. Seeing him like this, and Scott, frantic, and Jean out there, all alone, made Rogue feel so useless, and unworthy of such brave comrades. This was something that had been tugging at Rogue for a long time now. How at Liberty Island, all of them had risked their lives to save her, and how Logan had almost killed himself to revive her. How they had all accepted her, treated her so well, even though she was so harmful. Rogue never did anything to repay them, all she did was take,take,take, and they never complained, they just kept giving.
' Well,' she told herself, 'it's time to give something back. You owe them all so much. Logan went through so much to save you. You owe this to him. Make him happy.Save him like he saved you .'
And finally Rogue knew what she needed to do.
Feeling like someone else was controlling her body, she strode over to the wheelchair in which sat Professor Xavier. Now heads turned her way, as if only just realizing that she was there. She ignored them, and instead looked into Xavier's eyes. As his eyes locked with hers, she knew that he understood what she was asking him, and gave a slight inclination of his head for an answer.
Rogue, she heard him say in her head, before you do this, ask yourself if you are ready to take the consequences. Are you ready for what you are going to do?
Rogue nodded, and the Professor smiled sadly.
Then go ahead,if this is really what you want to do, but know that you will be greatly missed. Goodbye, Marie.
"Thank you," Rogue whispered in his ear.
As his eyes closed, Rogue knew that this was her signal, and she knew that she had little time. Ripping off her gloves, she placed both her bare hands on Xavier's head.
It was surreal, the change she felt. Suddenly she could hear thousands of voices, saying things that nobody in the plane could be speaking. She could hear everybody's thoughts, and even, in a whisper, as if extremely distant, Jean. She concentrated on those thoughts, and on Jean's mind, trying to get through the barrier she had placed around herself. But because she was Rogue, and not the professor, Jean wasn't expecting her, and did not think to block her out of her mind. Suddenly the whispers got much closer. They turned into cries, shouts, yells, and Rogue knew this was her chance, that Jean was opening up to her.
Jean,she thought, hoping, praying that this would work, that Jean would hear her.
Jean, open the ramp. Let me out. This time the words came out stronger, more powerful.
Rogue could feel Jean struggling, trying to block Rogue from her mind, but Rogue was already too deep. The struggle got weaker and weaker, and Rogue waited.
And finally, with a slight hiss, the ramp lowered, hitting the ground with a soft thump.
Rogue pulled her hands of the professor, hoping, and knowing that he would be all right, and without waiting to hear the others' words, strode down the ramp and into the open night. Jean was weakening, she could see, and knew she didn't have much time. Shielding her face from the wind, she made her way to Jean, who was with one hand powering the plane and with the other, forcing the water to veer around it, keeping everybody safe from the flood. As Rogue reached her, she placed one hand on each of Jean's and said,
Jean, you must go back. They need you. You must. For their sake, if not your own.
"This is the only way," came the whisper from Jean's lips. She was too weak even to talk through her mind, and was focusing all her remaining power on stopping the water from drowning the plane and it's occupants.
No,Jean. You must go back!
This time Rogue's voice was steely, commanding.
"Rogue, go back. Please," she whispered.
I'm sorry, Jean. I'm not going anywhere. You must go back.
She felt Jean's power filling her, but could see that Jean was still fighting against her, even as she was weakening from Rogue's touch. Rogue knew that if she held on much longer she could kill Jean.
So Rogue, who still contained a bit of the professor's power from their touch, gathered the last remnants of it, and feeling it slipping away from her, laced her voice with even more command.
"Jean, go back now!", she cried.
And as more of Jean's power got transfered to her, Rogue let go of Jean, and used Jean's power to keep the waters at bay,with one hand, and with the other, force Jean up the ramp. Jean, being too weak to resist, let Rogue carry her into the waiting arms of her comrades, and then Rogue shut the ramp closed. Now Rogue knew that she herself was weakening, and that Jean's power was leaving her, so with her last strength, she lifted the plane into the air, out of the reach of the water.
Goodbye, she whispered. And thank you.
Then, closing her eyes, knowing that her work was done, she let go. She was brave now. She had walked into the battle, knowing she had little chance of succeding, and she had won. She was now worthy to be a true X- men. And as she felt the water pounding over her, Rogue knew she had made the right choice.
A/N : So, how did you like it? Please review with comments, suggestions, etc., and if you want to flame me, please say how I could make the story better, don't just be "it sucks", because that's not going to help me become a better writer. I'm thinking of continuing this story, and doing the same episode in other character's point of view. Any suggestions on who to start with? All comments welcome. Thanks!
Marie K.
