Just To See You
By: Darkmeadow777
Chapter 13: Beauty In The Breakdown
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, yeah let go
"Let Go" By Frou Frou
"Draco?" asked Harry surprised. "What are you doing here by yourself?"
Harry crouched down to Draco's level and took a moment to study the man in front of him. His head was bowed and his arms were wrapped tightly around his knees. Whenever Harry had tried to speak to Draco during the past month it was like talking to a zombie. He would give the answer Harry wanted to know and then sink within himself. Harry had been pushed away, but he let it happen. Harry had not seen Draco for the better part of the month and he knew now that it was a mistake. He barely recognized Draco. He was emaciated and pale; a ghost of his former self. Harry could see his shoulder bones poking through the thin shirt he was wearing and the well-defined lines running through his hands.
Harry longed to take the man in his arms and hold him. He had almost reached out to pull Draco to his feet, when he noticed a single tear fall from Draco's downcast eyes. Harry noticed that he was shaking very gently. For the second time in his life, he saw Draco crying. He slowly reached out and put a comforting hand on Draco's shoulder, not wanting to over step his boundary.
"I-I can't do this anymore!" Draco whispered, and all his pent up thoughts, his frustration, his anger and his confusion flowed out of him like a damn had burst.. Tears started to flow freely from his eyes, but he refused to look up. "I don't fail, Harry. And I have. I can't even teach myself how to live again! Even that little boy was being stronger than I am! I can't take it anymore! I can't sleep in this stupid fucking hospital; it's too damn loud! The smell gets more disgusting everyday. I can't even find my way to the fucking kitchen! And now I'm not even a M- M- anymore!" He gulped and gasped but could not stop the tears from falling. "I need to get out of here . . ."
Caving into his urge, Harry slowly pulled the crying man into his arms and held him tightly, muttering comforting words and slowly rubbing circles on Draco's back.
"It's all right, Draco. Let it go," Harry whispered. "I'm here now." Harry continued his circles and started to smooth Draco's messy hair. He held Draco against his chest and waited patiently for Draco let all his frustration and pain out. Draco clenched Harry's shirt in his fists, pulling Harry even closer. He had his face pressed into Harry's chest, letting the tears be absorbed by the soft fabric.
"I n-need to get outta here," Draco sobbed into Harry's chest.
Harry replied with soft, comforting nonsense, not really knowing what to say.
After about an hour, Draco's breathing had gone from choked sobs to steady breathing. Harry just held him tight. After a while longer, Harry was sure Draco had fallen asleep, but did not try to move him.
Harry was lost in his own world, slowly stroking Draco's hair when a fully formed idea spiked through his brain like a lightning bolt. His mind created an image of how Ron would react, if Draco agreed. He smiled down at the sleeping figure in his arms and softly brushed away the stray hairs from Draco's pale face. He placed a soft kiss on Draco's forehead. He could stay like this forever.
Hermione was humming along to a song, and doing the dishes when Ron walked through the door. "How was training?" she asked.
"Good," said Ron, stooping to give Hermione a gentle kiss on her lips. "I almost had Remus!"
Harry, Hermione and Ron had been apparating to Grimmauld Place to practise dueling and various spells. They had taken to dueling with members of the Order in one of the large rooms. They always took turns to go, so the other two could protect each other if needed and it made them much harder to track.
Hermione smiled up at him and was about to congratulate him, when she heard a knock on the door, it opened slowly to reveal Harry.
"Hey, guys," said Harry brightly. "Are you busy?"
"Nope - just got in from training! I almost had Remus!" boasted Ron.
"Cool!" said Harry, proud of his friend's accomplishment. Harry could beat Remus easily. "Can I talk to you guys?"
Hermione looked at him suspiciously and then said, "Sure, Harry. I've barely seen you all week. I'll get some tea."
When they were all sitting, Harry stayed silent, so Ron prompted him. "What did you wanna talk about?"
"I found Draco a while back and talked to him."
"Oh, good! Judging by your expression it went well!" said Hermione brightly. Ron had pasted a horrible fake smile on his face. Harry was grateful nevertheless.
"He was crying on the floor."
"Oh," said Hermione taken aback. "So why are you happy?"
"Well, the reason he was crying was that he was getting really sick of the hospital and he wasn't making any progress. I don't know what the hell the nurses were doing. I checked his medical records and he's been on an IV a couple times during the past month because he wasn't eating. He looks awful Hermione; I barely recognized him. He's all skin and bone, so I've been trying to fatten him up again. Anyway, I comforted him and he fell asleep on me."
Ron's fake smile faltered a moment. Then came back with a greater vengeance.
"Well, I did tell you to give him some space, not abandon him!" said Hermione.
"He didn't give me a choice, Hermione."
"Alright!" Hermione put her hands up in defeat. "Man, guys are dumb," she added to herself.
"Anyway, when he woke up, I told him that if he wanted to he could move in with me. You know get out of the hospital. He was really hesitant, but I left it open to him and he agreed yesterday after smelling the shepherd pie from the cafeteria."
"He's moving in with you?" said Hermione incredulously. "Do you think that's a good idea? And he wants to move in with his old school rival?"
"Well, he has no where else to go. We've actually been getting along quite well lately."
"What about Malfoy Manor?" asked Ron desperately, trying and failing to hide his horrified look.
"He was disowned a week ago. I think that was one of the triggers for his breakdown. He can't think or even say his own surname. So, now he has no money, no inheritance or a even family."
"Oh, poor Draco!" said Hermione earnestly. "That must be crushing him! When is he moving in?"
"I'm going to take him home today," said Harry brightly. "I told the hospital not to expect me for a couple weeks, so that's not a problem. I can leave him for a couple of hours when I train . . . or he could come here?" It came out as a question.
"Yes, of course! But will he want to?" Hermione asked skeptically.
"Well, he knew you were the 'specialist' and he didn't seem to care. Mind you, he's more temperamental than a real dragon. He doesn't have anyone else to talk to . . ."
"He knew it was me?" asked Hermione dumbfounded. "After not seeing me for so long?"
"Yeah, I forgot to mention that part," said Harry looking sheepish.
"That's understandable," said Hermione, patting Harry's knee.
"Why don't you two drop by later this evening? We could have dinner?" asked Harry.
"All right," said Ron. "But I'm only coming for your cooking."
I agreed to move in with Harry Potter. I agreed to move in with Harry Potter. I agreed to move in with Harry Potter. Draco kept repeating this sentence to himself, wondering if he was completely crazy, just desperate to leave the hospital or if he really wanted to move in with Harry.
Something clicked in Draco's brain. Oh, my God. I actually want to move in with my ex-nemesis. Which God decided it hated me? Draco thought, glaring upwards.
Draco had been given a bath by a less-than-capable nurse and was sitting on his bed ready and waiting for Harry to come and get him. If he's really coming, added a bitter voice in the back of his mind.
Ha! Draco thought to the voice as he heard Harry's familiar footsteps. Draco could not stop the wide grin from sliding onto his face. He was excited. Excited to be moving in with his former rival. No wonder my father disowned me, he thought.
"Hey Draco! Are you ready to be checked out of the hospital? If you haven't changed your mind?" Harry asked nervously.
"I haven't. Lead the way," said Draco, trying and failing to hide the excitement in his voice. Harry smiled brightly, but said nothing. Draco was dressed in some of Harry's old clothes that practically hung off Draco's shrunken frame. Harry looked at him sadly and vowed to get Draco back to his old self. Most of his old self, Harry corrected himself with a smirk.
Harry led Draco to Sandra's desk and sat in him a chair. Sandra looked up with a huge smile, and said, "Well, Draco are you sure you want to go home with this lovely young man?"
"I've no other choice," said Draco trying and failing to sound indifferent.
"You know every dragon must have its tamer," said Sandra, starting the paper work for Draco's release. "You're lucky you have such a strong one. One that believes in you, though you've never asked him to. Most things take a lot of time and practise, Draco, and learning how to live again is one of them. You need to believe in yourself and even if you don't right now, you know someone does." She turned to Harry and said, "Harry, your future is going to get very dark. But with dark there is always light. You are going to get the greatest gift of all."
"And what's that?" said Harry, not understanding and thinking Sandra was more like Luna Lovegood than he thought.
"Life, of course!"
"I'm going to get a life?" asked Harry confused.
"And it's about bloody time," said Draco.
"Not that kind of life! Not your own and not Draco's either! You have no idea how strong you are, Harry. Once you find out how, you must use it. Life will depend on it," said Sandra cryptically. "Now get out of this hospital! You're free to go."
Harry took Draco's arm and led him out of the hospital. As they walked to Harry's apartment, he told Draco about the stores and what he could find where. He pointed out how many cross walks and stop signs, where poles were and other obstacles.
"Whoa, Harry!" interrupted Draco, "I'm not going to get it all today, so you might as well stop now! I'll be lucky to find the door in the first week."
"Sorry, I just don't know what to talk about . . ."
"You don't always have to talk to get your statement across, you know," said Draco smirking in Harry's direction.
"I'll keep that in mind," said Harry, smiling and placed his hand on the small of Draco's back to guide him along.
A/N: Did the idea of "Seduction" just enter Harry's mind? Dinner with the "Golden Trio" and Draco Malfoy? I believe that will be interesting . . . You'll get your cherry on top in the next chapter . . .maybe some whipped cream and chocolate sauce? -Trademark Malfoy Smirk-
