Rating: T for occasional language. Also see other warnings.

Disclaimer: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and all related characters belong to Nickelodeon.

Summary: Bradford has always blamed Michelangelo for his misfortunes and especially for his mutation so when he manages to capture the young ninja, he's going to make sure he knows exactly what it's like. 2k12 AU.

Warning: Warnings for physical and mental torture in this story abound, as well as for implied and highly disturbing situations. Trigger warnings may apply for some chapters. There will not however, be gruesome details. Some things are best left up to the imagination.


A/N: Possible trigger warning applies for this chapter. This and the next couple of chapters are going to be rough for Mikey. Just a reminder, all spelling mistakes in Mikey's speech are intentional.

Also, a little not-so-random Japanese. As always, the translations are at the end of the chapter notes. If you scroll down beforehand, beware of the spoiler. You'll probably realise what they mean from context anyway :-)

Concrit, thoughts and comments always welcomed.


Minnie1015: *coughs* I've seen worst cliffhangers before, including literal ones by professional authors XD That's Raphie for you. As for Donnie, well... yeah. You want only Leo to come to save the day? Raphie doesn't get a chance too? XD

NaluCelestiaDragneel: Thank you :-)

ViolaHarmony: I'm happy to know you're still reading :-) They're definitely going to have to learn to get along or the consequences could end up dire... Oh, don't worry, I would never let Donnie be killed any more than I would Mikey *smiles sweetly* Donnie may be a ninja and trained to do as he needs to but that doesn't mean he likes violence and while 2k3 Donnie is more pacifistic than 2k12, I do also believe that for 2k12. Yeah... Hanzou is the root of a lot of evil... Thank you and enjoy the next chapter!

T420000: Nuh, not abandoned. In fact, it had only been about a week before you reviewed the previous chapter that it had been updated. I try to update 1 story each week so it's usually every 2 weeks this one is updated. Um... no, that last chapter wasn't a short one, no matter how it feels :-P It was a little over 4,500 words on story alone (not counting title or author notes). Yeah, to be honest, I have felt discouraged by the lack of interest in the story (and my others) thanks to the few reviews of late but as I discovered the other day, it doesn't help that this doesn't even show up in searches thanks to being M rated... (you need to specifically include M rating in searches) and while there isn't any detail on the subject, the fact that there is rape even hinted at or mentioned means it requires the rating.


How Much is that Turtle in the Window

ch 25

As Mikey's stomach roiled at the insinuation, Hanzou's hands moved on, finding a kunai tucked within Donnie's wrappings and licking his lips, the human ran the edge along his thumb, testing it.

[This'll do. Just be patient, Spot, this won't take but a moment,] Hanzou promised as he leant over Donatello's prone form, knife poised and ready to strike. Just before he could strike with the deadly blade, Mikey finally broke free of the command. Rushing the surprised ninja, he tackled him hard to the ground and away from his helpless brother.

Baring his teeth, Mikey stomped a metal paw onto Hanzou's throat, pressing down as hard as he could.

[So... I-it seems the dog st-still has s-some fight in it, after all,] Hanzou choked, laughing derisively. [You-you'll pay the pr-price for this misbehaviour, Spot,] he promised, bucking and twisting in one and knocking Mikey clear. In moments, Hanzou straddled him and took hold of the D-ring on his collar, pulling and twisting it, choking him in return. [Foolish mutt, you won't die for this but you'll definitely wish you did by the time you're handed back over to Master Shredder.]

Suddenly, as he began to feel faint from pain and lack of air, Hanzou dropped him and stood, striding directly back towards Donnie. For a moment, he searched the ground in the dimly lit area, before crouching, snatching at the ground triumphantly.

{No!} Mikey tapped frantically, wheezing desperately as he struggled to regain his breath and feet. {Leave... D alone!}

Hanzou turned to stare at him in disbelief. [Is that ridiculous thumping supposed to mean something, my pet?] he mocked.

Breathlessly, Mikey managed to push himself back on all fours, {Hai!} he tapped furiously, pushing his fear back to a more manageable level as he took a wobbly step forward. {It means... get away... from my bro!} he tapped louder and louder as Hanzou stared at him incredulously.

[You must be desperate, huh, Spot?] Hanzou laughed. [Bradford-sama always said you were far too stupid for your own good and it seems he was right. You know the rules about showing any signs of human-like intelligence! Hideki-sama will have a field day with you when she sees you again!]

Baring his teeth in warning, Mikey drew himself straighter and went to step forward again on wobbly limbs when a slight movement behind him caught his attention.

[Seems to me like you're the stupid one,] Raph snarled viciously as he barrelled forward into Hanzou. Desperate to see what was happening, Mikey tried to watch but in the dimness of the room and his darkening, spotty vision, he could only make out the shadow of entangled limbs, some grunting, growling and finally a sickening crunch followed by the thump of a body hitting the ground.

'Ra...ph,' he thought shakily, trying again to step forward. Unfortunately, his limbs gave way and he fell, only to be caught before he hit the ground.

"It's okay, we're back now, little brother," Leo soothed as he gently lowered Mikey to the ground. "Is Donnie okay?"

{Don't no,} Mikey tapped faintly. {Alive tho…}

"That's good," Leo breathed in relief as he cradled Mikey gently. "And you?"

{S...afe...} Mikey managed to tap unsteadily. {At...}

And then his eyes rolled up into the back of his head and that was the last he knew.

-:-

Ugh... Mikey groaned as he began to stir. His throat was so sore again, both inside and out and he felt beyond nauseous. Wondering what happened, he blinked his eyes open and looked about, seeing nothing but a mattress under him and a corrugated metal wall in front. Frowning, he shakily pushed himself up to look around the room.

"Mikey?" Donatello called softly in relief. Shifting to his knees, Donnie rushed forward and threw his arms around him, hugging him tight.

In shock, Mikey simply stared over Donnie's shoulder to see Raph and Leo coming closer even as Donnie released him, holding him instead at arm's length and studying him in amazement.

"You saved my life, Mikey!" he finally exclaimed, grateful and sounding somewhat stunned.

Suddenly, everything rushed back to him and he gasped painfully at the terrible memories. He'd been so scared. Scared for himself certainly but even more so for Donnie when he saw that maniac touching him, about to kill him. Tears prickled at the corners of his eyes and he sniffled noisily. {Three... where... were is...?} he tapped hesitantly against Donnie's leg.

"Three?" Donnie asked in confusion, glancing back briefly at Leo and Raph who both shrugged.

{Foot!} Mikey tapped frantically, almost hysterically. {Doko?}

"Where is the Foot?" Donnie asked carefully. "Hanzou, you mean?"

Mikey made an impatient movement. Whatever. {Doko,} he repeated, his heartbeat thumping painfully in his plastron again.

"That bastard's dead," Raph growled, a hint of satisfaction in his voice. "Leo and I tossed him overboard after making sure you and Donnie were okay."

Mikey slumped in relief and began to tremble as everything caught up to him all at once.

"Donnie told us everything," Leo said softly, coming to sit beside Mikey. Mikey looked up at him through blurred eyes. Leo smiled comfortingly. "Hanzou used pressure points on him. He couldn't move until I countered them but he was conscious the entire time. He told us how you saved him despite how terrified you were."

Mikey looked away, embarrassed.

"You knew him," Leo suddenly stated. "Why didn't you tell us you knew who he was?"

Cringing, Mikey hesitated, prompting Donnie to ask, "Were you too scared to tell us?"

Mikey reached out and tapped against Donnie's leg again, {Not that. Didn't no...} he answered reluctantly.

"What do you mean you didn't know?" Donnie asked gently. "The way Hanzou-san spoke to you... The way you acted made it seem like you did know him. Rather too well, in fact," he added in a dry, faintly disgusted tone.

Leo gave Donnie a questioning look which was ignored.

{No, didn't no,} Mikey repeated adamantly, fearful that his brothers would blame him for everything and cast him out as a failure, or worse traitor, once they reached home. {Didn't no smell,} he explained.

"You didn't know his scent?" Donnie asked in confusion. "Wait a moment, do you mean you never saw his face before?"

{Nvr,} Mikey shuddered miserably. {Changed smell. Strong soap. Didn't no 'til to late.}

Donnie translated for him and Leo looked thoughtful.

"Did they always wear full ninja garb around you?"

{Hai,} Mikey tapped against Donnie once more, forcing him to continue translating.

"Did you ever see anyone's face? Besides Dogpound, that is?"

{Couple,} Mikey admitted, slumping in place. Exacerbated by his too fast breathing, the soreness in his throat became unbearable and he began coughing painfully.

"Raph, get him some water," Donnie commanded, wrapping an arm around Mikey and pulling him against him. He rubbed comfortingly against his arm. "It's okay, buddy, I know it's hard but try not to cough or it'll only make things worse."

'Yes,' Mikey blinked miserably as he tried unsuccessfully to fight it. Moments later, Raph was in front of him holding out an opened bottle. Donnie took it and held it against Mikey's mouth.

"Drink some. Slowly," he encouraged, carefully tipping the bottle and letting the water slowly flow.

Still coughing, Mikey choked briefly on the water and tried not to freak out as his mind threw him back to being strapped to the surgery table, mouth forced wide and Three-Five-Eight watching and waiting in lascivious excitement. He wrenched away, terrified to swallow and spitting the water out.

"Mikey, you need to drink," Donnie insisted with a frown. "You've barely drunk anything the last couple of days and between that and being choked earlier, that's what's causing this coughing fit."

{No pills,} he sobbed desperately. {No mor pills. Pls!}

Donnie glanced worriedly at Leo before fixing his gaze back on Mikey. "I didn't give you any pills, Mikey. I have none to give you that would help right now and believe me, if I did, I would have given them to you days ago when you were in so much pain and couldn't sleep. At least, if you'd let me, I would have."

{No pills!} he repeated half-manically, unable to get that memory out of his mind. {Don't want! Pls, can't!}

"Mikey, what can we do to get you to drink then?" Leo asked carefully after Donnie translated.

Shuddering, Mikey didn't answer as he continued to fight for control of his sanity. He was safe now! He was safe with his brothers but he couldn't get those memories out of his head. He didn't want to think about that time all those months back. His first punishment with Mai.

"You can't go through life without drinking! You'll die!" Raph spat angrily. "We didn't go through everything we went through to find and rescue you just to have you give up on us now!"

"Raph, don't snap at him," Leo chided quietly, trying to keep calm for Mikey's sake. "It doesn't help anything."

"And neither does coddling him obviously!" Raph retorted, whirling on Leo. "What else do you suggest?"

{No gi...ve up,} Mikey tapped miserably against Donnie, still trembling uncontrollably. {I...}

"You what, buddy?" Donnie asked softly after shooting their brothers a quick glare to shut up.

{Put on gr...ound,} Mikey managed to answer. {Will try.}

A pained expression crossed Donnie's face and he reached down to tap on Mikey's leg in return. {I don't want you to have to drink like an animal. You're not, regardless of how they treated you.} Mikey looked away and Donnie sighed. "Alright," he agreed quietly, "if it gets you to actually drink but this is something we need to talk about and work through together later. Okay?"

Mikey cringed in shame. No way in hell was he going there!

"Could someone get the bowl?"

Wordlessly with his face unreadable, Leo went to fetch it. Moments later, he handed it to Donnie who placed the bowl on the ground nearby and poured the water from the bottle into it.

"Why are you giving up on him, Donnie?" Raph bit out angrily.

"I'm not," Donnie replied mildly as Mikey pulled away, stepped off the mattress and carefully, slowly began to drink.

"Wait!" Raph choked in disbelief as he watched and realised, "Why..."

"Because it's what he needs," Donnie replied, watching Mikey carefully while trying not to be too intent. "I don't know why yet."

Burning in embarrassment, Mikey continued to drink until he'd had enough, then turned around and clambered back onto the mattress, sitting between Donnie and Leo once more.

"Are you feeling better?" Leo asked, worriedly.

{Hai,} Mikey tapped against Donnie, leaning into him.

"I'm glad," Leo replied. "So... you said you only saw a couple of faces?"

'Yes,' Mikey blinked, turning Leo's direction slightly.

"Why were they so special? Were they highly ranked ninja?"

Mikey shrugged and huddled into Donnie more.

"Hanzou wasn't one of them so who was?" Leo asked before suddenly turning to Donnie. "I have to wonder, was that even his real name?"

"Probably," Donnie replied, colouring. "I... Moments before he attacked me, I managed to get into the ship's personnel files. The photo of the purser didn't match Hanzou and neither did his name. From what he said, I believe Hanzou actually snuck aboard somehow, probably that same night, so he wouldn't have been able to replace the actual ship's purser and therefore there was no need to update the personnel file," he explained.

"I see..." Leo murmured thoughtfully.

{Where were L an R?} Mikey asked, closing his eyes in exhaustion.

"Oh, they went to get a lifeboat ready to deposit Ha... that Foot into," Donnie explained carefully as he continued to try to comfort Mikey. "A few supplies so he could last a time and to make sure the emergency beacon was removed so the Umi Ryuu wouldn't just find him again."

{'k} Mikey replied, struggling with the single letter.

"We're sorry we left, Mikey," Raph offered gently, "but since Donnie wanted to give him a chance... well, we had no choice and we thought Donnie would actually keep watch rather than get distracted on his damn T-phone."

"I thought he was harmless!" Donnie choked out. "I... I should have questioned more about why Mikey was acting like he was."

"Yeah, maybe you should have!" Raphael snapped.

"But you said Mikey didn't know who he was," Leo pointed out calmly, giving Raph a look to settle down.

"Not by scent, no... but he obviously recognised he was Foot by instinct... He was with them for a long time..." Donnie sighed unhappily and turned back to Mikey. "I'm really sorry I didn't pay closer attention. None of this would have happened otherwise."

"You're damn right it wouldn't have," Raph retorted harshly.

{It's 'k,} Mikey tapped sluggishly.

"No, it's not okay. I caused you to go through so much unnecessary pain and fear..."

{It's 'k,} Mikey repeated insistently, forcing himself to sit up straight and look Donnie in the eye despite how drained he felt. {Is ovr. Gone now.}

"Alright," Donnie smiled softly. "Thank you."

"Okay, look, I know I have trouble understanding Morse Code and probably wouldn't understand more than the simple stuff anyway but how am I supposed to learn if you keep tapping on Donnie instead of on something that makes sound?" Raph suddenly burst out in annoyance. "Leo and I can't hear that!"

That was the whole point. Looking away, Mikey flushed in embarrassment, still shaken by everything that had happened and still feeling far too vulnerable.

"Okay... I get it, you don't want to talk to us right now for whatever reason," Raph conceded, sounding hurt. "I won't push but please, Mikey, don't shut us out. I want my loud, energetic and annoying little brother back. I... I miss you, Mikey," he choked out.

Mikey closed his eyes in pain. He wished he could be that Mikey too. The party dude who let everything slide like water off a duck's back. The one who nothing ever bothered for long. Trouble was, he wasn't sure he could ever be that Mikey again. He'd been through too much, been hurt far too much, far too often... had his confidence and life stripped away until he was left with almost nothing but pain, terror and confusion and useless giant metal paws.

Tapping, {I'm tired,} he pulled away from Donnie and crawled back onto the mattress, curling up. Then tried to sleep again.

-:-

The next couple of days passed with Mikey talking little and doing even less. He ate and drank when prompted and went to the toilet as necessary but otherwise barely moved from the mattress unless forced by his brothers for his rehabilitation. Even then, he barely tried. Donnie and Leo both even tried to entice him to come by the door to watch the sky at night but Mikey just couldn't find the energy to do so. In the end, Donnie kicked Leo and Raph out into the night and came to sit by Mikey, watching him intently for several minutes. Then...

"That's it, this ends now. You have the ability to communicate now and quite well when you try I might add, so you are going to start talking about what you've been through before it destroys you."

Mikey closed his eyes and turned his head away from Donnie.

"No, you aren't getting out of this! You don't have to tell me everything! Not right now but you need to start with something." Donnie waited for a response but there was none so he pressed, "Anything! I don't care what."

'Go away...' Mikey thought despondently.

"Why not start with why you suddenly drink won't unless it's in a bowl on the floor?" Donnie asked and Mikey curled in tighter on himself, fighting the memory brought on by that simple question and the overwhelming scent of Three-Five-Eight still far too fresh in his nostrils.

"If you won't begin on your own, then I'll have to start and since I don't have much to go on, it'll have to be about Hanzou and what I think he might have done to you."

Pushing himself up enough, Mikey turned and glared fiercely at Donnie. He didn't want to talk about 'Hanzou'! Why couldn't Donnie just leave him alone!

Donnie's expression softened. "I'm not doing this to hurt you, Mikey but you need to get this stuff out. It's like poison. If you don't treat it, it'll make you sick or worse, potentially kill you. Mikey, none of us like seeing you hurting so much. We never have so please, let us help you. Let me help."

{Don't want to talk about Three,} Mikey finally tapped, the sound barely audible against the mattress.

Donnie stared at him a moment before breathing. "Okay, we don't have to talk about him now but first, can you at least tell me why you call him Three?" he asked.

{Three-Five-Eight is wot they called him,} Mikey admitted slowly.

"I see... were all the Foot known by numbers?"

{Most... that I herd.}

"But some weren't?" Donnie pressed gently.

Mikey was silent at first, then finally, he slowly tapped, {Only herd three real names.}

"What were those and what was so special about those people?"

{Haruto... he made my paws an... an...} Mikey faltered, unable to go on as he remembered the smell, the terror, the sparking electrode, the pain that lasted for weeks and nearly dying from a combination of the resulting infection and the pain pills.

"Welded them on?" Donnie asked, his jaw clenched tightly.

{Hai,} Mikey shuddered.

"Was Haruto a blacksmith?"

'Yes,' he blinked miserably.

"Was it his sick idea to weld them in place?"

Mikey shrugged. {Mai said Al... Do...gpound...}

Donnie's face darkened with his anger but he held it in check. "I should have known. That human always had it in for you ever since the day you first met."

Mikey shuddered again, blinking once in agreement as he settled down on the mattress, wishing he could just hide away.

"Okay, so then, Mai. Who is.. she?" Donnie inquired uncertainly.

Mikey blinked, 'Yes.' {Vet. Treated me. Set my arm...}

"Set your arm? When and how did your arm break?" Donnie hissed in barely suppressed fury that made Mikey so glad neither Leo nor Raph were here. If Donnie was this angry, he couldn't imagine how ballistic their other brothers would be.

{Trip over. Alpha broke it after I...} he swallowed painfully. {After...tried to kill him...}

"Oh, Mikey..." Donnie breathed sympathetically. "What happened? How did you try to kill him? When did you try?"

Mikey was still for several moments as he thought back, trying to recall exactly what happened - it had all been so long ago now and his mind had been messed with multiple times. {Hours before getting to Japan,} he admitted. Then haltingly, he told Donnie what happened, keeping the details to a minimum since he wasn't yet fluent in Morse Code and it still took so much effort, especially with longer, more complex sentences.

"So... this Mai at least helped you. Was she kind?" Donnie asked quietly when Mikey was done.

{No... Pretended to b at first,} Mikey replied, curling in tight on himself and shuddering as he remembered his first few days in her care. His tapping became quieter. {Saved life, more than once but also hurt. Sent to Mai for punishment... for... forgetting my place.}

"Forgetting your place?" Donnie blinked in confusion and worry at the insinuation. "What does that mean?"

{For not actin' like... dog...} Mikey shuddered. He wished Donnie would stop asking him about this and yet... the questions weren't too deep so far and the part of him that had been denied the chance to open up for so long was relieved he could finally tell someone something.

"What kind of things did she do to hurt you?"

Mikey froze, not sure how or where to start. {Can't,} he eventually tapped.

"Alright," Donnie agreed softly. "You can tell me more about her later then. What about the last person. Is that the Hideki-sama that Hanzou mentioned?"

{Is Mai.}

"Hideki Mai?" Donnie asked curiously, an unusual hardness to his tone that had Mikey looking at him fearfully.

{Hai,} Mikey admitted, swallowing the fear back enough to answer his brother.

"Good to know. Now I have a name to go on when we get home and I get the chance to use it," Donnie replied darkly and Mikey canted his head questioningly at him.

"What, surely you don't think I'm going to let them get away with hurting you as they have without trying to do something about it?" Donnie asked incredulously.

{No,} Mikey tapped, feeling strangely relieved.

Donnie nodded sharply. "Good, because we may be in different countries but that isn't going to stop me! I wouldn't be much of a brother and ninja if I didn't try to do something about these people," he promised tightly. "Now, who is the third person?"

{Master... Hakuba...} Mikey tapped hesitantly before curling up into himself again.

"I take it he was particularly bad?" Donnie prompted gently.

{All were but saw him most,} Mikey admitted slowly. {Animal trainer. Mostly dogs an' horses an' also... my... ma...ster...}

Donnie stared at him with a mixture of horror, dismay and sympathy and Mikey had to turn away again, unable to stand seeing that look on his face any longer. "Just... a word of advice, Mikey," Donnie finally choked out. "It might be best not to call him that in front of Raph. Just say... trainer, okay?"

Mikey turned back, staring at Donnie in disbelief.

"I just mean, I don't think he'd take you calling someone else master well," Donnie explained in embarrassment. "I don't think Leo would either but he'd at least handle it better."

{Not like had choice, D!} Mikey suddenly tapped out furiously. {Trained me evryday! Wouldn't let me eat, drink, pee or do anything until told! Had me on leash almost all times an' spiked training collar wich hurt! An' if didn't obey, was whipped or shocked or choked! Couldn't even sit if tired or move from bed or corner if told stay! Alpha said he was master. He said master! Evryone said he master! Didn't want but no choice!}

Panting with effort, Mikey paused for a moment to gather himself, then when Donnie tried to interrupt, slammed down his paw in fury. {No! U wanted me to talk, I talk!}

{All this h'ppen'd whle dozens Foot looked on, laughing at an' mocking me! An' he was the one who realised I know Nihongo, even tho tried to hide I knew for so long. He made evryone stop talking around me. They only allowed to use commands he teach to obey or insult or... or talk way humans talk dumb to animals or babys!}

Mikey clenched his fingers within their prisons, swallowing as Donnie paled as he spilt his guts.

{Even Mai... stopped talking to me after cuple days. Even when she doing things... put helmet on hed so couldn't hear and... couldn't understand what she do... only feel. An' it hurt or rly uncomfortable or...} Mikey suddenly stopped, not wanting to say too much and accidentally bring the conversation back to Three and his sicko buddies.

"That must have been awful being cut off from contact like that," Donnie murmured sympathetically, "especially for someone who thrives on it."

{Sum...times... don't no how stayed sane,} Mikey admitted, slumping miserably. {Mast... Ha...kuba... made me wear helmet when training to obey visual commands,} he explained, his eyes haunted as he stared up at Donnie. {Sumtimes... le...ft it on for days at time and couldn't... get it off, couldn't hear...} he tapped, staring down at his paws in sheer frustration. 'Couldn't protect myself...' He began to tremble again at the thought.

Donnie moved closer and wrapped his arms around Mikey as tears started trailing uncontrolled down his cheeks.

{Was so lonely an' scard,} Mikey finally admitted against Donnie's shell as he tried to get himself under control again.

"I know," Donnie murmured softly into his earslit, "and I'm so sorry we took so long to get to you."

{U came,} Mikey tapped slowly.

"Of course we did. You're our brother."

{I gave up 'cause I no u not coming but then u came enyway.}

"We'll always come," Donnie promised fervently. "We'd never give up. You should know that by now. No turtle left behind, as Raph always says."

{But I gave up, D! Did as told. Stop fighting them!} Mikey insisted, furious at himself. Then... {Forgot u...}

"It's okay," Donnie assured, "you were..."

{No! U don't unerstand. I forgot u all,} Mikey tapped again angrily. {I...}

"Mikey, it's okay" Donnie repeated firmly. "You were trying to survive and that's all that matters in the end," he persisted, shifting to hold Mikey at arm's length in order to look directly into his eyes. "You survived and you remember us now! No one is going to hold it against you. Ever!"

'Really?' He stared hopefully at Donnie, unable to voice his desperate hope but it didn't seem to matter as Donnie understood him perfectly anyway as he so often did in the past when it truly counted.

"Promise! We're just glad to have you back," Donnie smiled warmly, pulling him close again. "The rest will sort itself out with time as long as you keep talking and don't hold this poison inside of you where it will fester."

-:-


Nihongo – Japanese word for the Japanese language.

Doko - where

At least two readers that I am aware of correctly realised it was Three the moment he first made his appearance two chapters ago. I so wanted to confirm it to you both at the time but didn't want the confirmation to be seen by anyone else so I held back. Sorry! XD

In the next chapter, Mikey opens up further about his time under Dogpound's 'care'