This is my first Evangelion Fanfic, in fact it's my first Fanfic of my life, so have mercy, English is not my native language (It's Portuguese by the way).
Don't forget to like the page on Facebook, the direct link can be found on my Fanfiction profile page, or if you prefer search for "Calborghete" and locate an image of Shinji and Asuka. On this page I will post updates and it will also be easier for you to contact me.
And a long round of applause to our friend YourBlandestNightmre, who kindly corrected the English mistakes, thanks buddy.
"Dialogues"
- Thoughts -
Disclaimer:
Evangelion, its characters and setting are the property of Hideaki Anno. Any brand, series and movies mentioned in this fanfic are the property of its creators.
Chapter 01 - What is happening?
A destroyed land, lifeless, only nothingness as far as the eye could see. Only the color red stood out, red like blood. Red like Asuka's hair. Red like Rei's eyes. Red like Kaworu's eyes.
- Kaworu - Shinji thought, - my only friend, the only person who treated me decently in this destroyed and lifeless world. He died to stop another mistake of mine. It should've been me. -
"Hey brat, look at me when I'm talking to you," Asuka growled as she tightened the collar of Shinji's costume. He could not face her intense blue eye, he could only look at the ground. He couldn't face her now.
"Are you listening to me, brat?" Asuka spoke again, a little louder this time. Shinji could only nod, the shame and guilt was too much for him.
- How can I look her in the eye when I have only brought disgrace into everyone's lives? Misato, Asuka, Kaworu, Kensuke, Toji... Sakura. - Shinji thought, saddened.
"So look at me when I'm talking," Asuka spoke in a firm tone, and Shinji could feel the hatred in her words.
"I'm sorry," Shinji replied in a tearful voice. "I'm sorry, Asuka," tears ran down his cheeks as he talked.
"I'm sorry? ... I'm sorry? ... I'm sorry!?" Asuka screamed. She pushed Shinji each time she repeated his response. He saw that her anger was growing more and more with each step she took towards him, but Shinji didn't defend himself. That was the least he thought he deserved, after everything he had done.
"Is that all you can say, brat!?" she continued shouting as she stood still, inches away from Shinji's face. "You think you can come back after destroying the world, and almost destroying what's left of it, and just say 'sorry'?"
Shinji could only cry and look at the ground.
Asuka sighed and walked back. "Come on, brat. Let's find a place to camp," she spoke in a firm tone. "Pathetic," she snorted and continued on her way.
"Asuka," Shinji's voice came out almost as a whisper, but she had always had good hearing.
"What do you want!?" she snapped as she turned around.
Shinji didn't have the courage to speak; he just stared at the ground, where the tears had fallen, on the red earth.
"Listen here, brat: only call me when it's something important! I don't want to have to see your 'I'm sorry' face when I know you're not! You're selfish, self-centered and you don't care about anything around you, only yourself!'' Asuka shot at Shinji. He could feel every word hitting his heart like daggers, but he couldn't fight back.
- I know it's all true. I deserve no mercy. I know I'm no good; I should have killed myself when I was still with my aunt and uncle to prevent all this from happening. It would've been the best for everyone - Shinji thought while listening to Asuka's speech.
"And only address me as Captain Shikinami, brat! Do you understand?" she asked Shinji with an intensity that could break an ice cube just by looking at it.
He nodded faintly.
"I asked if you understood, brat!" Asuka shouted. Shinji could see that he had to answer or he would get beaten. He raised his head and said weakly, as best as he could:
"Yes, ma'am," and then faced the ground again.
"Good," Asuka replied and returned to her walk.
After what seemed like hours of walking, Shinji felt his feet hurting, but he said nothing. He believed that pain was the least he deserved, after everything. He wondered what they would do to him and Rei when they returned.
Shinji noticed that Rei was walking a little behind him. She hadn't said anything during the journey.
- She is identical to her, how is that possible? - Shinji asked himself all the time. - Does she know that she is a clone of my mother? Does that make her my sister? ... I don't know ... Would Kaworu be able to answer me? I wish he were here. - Shinji thought as he stared at the ground in front of him.
"Kaworu," Shinji mumbled.
"What?" Rei asked in her monotone tone.
"Nothing, Rei," Shinji replied weakly.
- Who does this brat think he is? He thinks he can come back and screw everything up and think that everything is okay? And to think that I was falling in love... Asuka, stop. - Asuka thought as she walked through the red earth, looking for shelter.
- I must find a place to have a quick rest; my feet are killing me. - Asuka looked at Shinji and Rei behind her.
- How can this brat do so much shit? How can he turn his back on me? On Misato and all his friends? - Asuka thought in annoyance.
''I found a place, start setting up the camp," Asuka ordered in a firm tone. "Brat, start a fire. Clone, prepare something."
"How can I prepare something if I don't know what it is?" Rei asked, confused.
"I don't know, clone; just go do something. Maybe stop the brat from making another impact," Asuka snapped at Rei, and kept fiddling with her emergency backpack.
At this point Rei approached Shinji, who was getting the fire ready. Although it seemed as if he was trying to light the wood, in reality he was lost inside his own head, barely paying attention to his hands and what they were holding.
''Rei…" Shinji thought out loud.
"What?"
Startled, Shinji jumped a little; but he recovered from the scare of Rei's sudden question.
"Nothing Rei, I was just distracted," he replied with his head down, trying to focus on the task in front of him.
"Captain Shikinami has ordered me to help you with something," she said in her natural way of saying things.
"No need Rei, I can make a damn bonfire!" Shinji replied in frustration at not being able to get anywhere with the bonfire.
- Shit, I'm useless, I can't light a damn fire. It seems that I was only born to cause pain and destruction. I should have died in Kaworu's place - Shinji thought while still trying to light the fire.
"I'll do it," Rei spoke as he took the equipment from Shinji's trembling hands.
She lighted the fire almost instantly. When she finished, she sat down in front of the flames and stared at them.
- Who am I? ... He calls me Rei, but which Rei is he talking about? She calls me a clone, so there's another one of me out there? What is my purpose? Why did I go along with them? Who is my original, the one the other pilot referred to? - Rei thought while staring into the fire in front of her.
"Here," Asuka threw Shinji a can of emergency food. "Eat. I don't want to carry anything more useless than you on this trip."
Shinji could feel the poison in her words.
"I'm not hungry," he replied as he gazed into the fire.
"I don't care," Asuka said. "Eat!"
"Why?" Shinji asked, with his head bowed.
"Mein Gott, just eat brat! Don't make me ask twice!" Asuka snapped at Shinji.
"Why should I? It's easier that way," Shinji said, still looking into the fire.
"What did you say?" she asked, more as a challenge for him to answer, rather than an actual question.
"It's easier this way. If I die, it's better for the world," Shinji answered, trying his best to keep his confidence; but it failed, and he started to cry quietly.
"You think it's better, hahaha," Asuka laughed, in a way so fake that even Shinji and Rei could see it. She was too angry to control her words. "You want to die? ... Then I'll tell you what: you're not going to die. We'll take you to Wunder, Misato will take you to the UN for your trial, and only after we get the most out of you, you can die," Asuka spoke in a calm and threatening manner, but regretted it as soon as she saw the look of fear on Shinji's face.
"I see," Shinji said as he took the can and began to eat.
- Scheisse, I just implied that we are going to torture him. Good move, Asuka.
Realizing about the brutality of her previous words, she tried again, in a calmer tone:
''Look brat, I don't know what will happen to you, but don't overthink it. We'll see about that when we get to Wunder," although she spoke in a welcoming manner, Asuka knew that the damage had already been done.
- Excellent move Asuka, excellent move, – she thought, scolding herself.
- Will Misato have me tortured? No, I hope not; but I deserve it anyway - Shinji thought while trying to eat.
The cold night came and everyone tried to sleep, but two couldn't.
- Shit, how can she do it - Asuka wondered as she stared at Rei's sleeping form. - Damn Wondergirl… Dumb brat, why can't I think of anything else? - Asuka thought, but as she rolled over to the other side, she caught Shinji looking up at the stars. - I wonder what he's thinking. Probably about how we are going to torture him. Me and my big mouth. Congratulations, Asuka. -
- What will happen to me? ... I even understand it if they kill me, but what will they do with Rei? Even though she is a clone, she might even help WILLE somehow. - Shinji pondered while looking at the stars.
"Brat," Asuka spoke to Shinji.
He looked at her. Shinji couldn't deny that she looked beautiful through the firelight. - I can't deny that I've always had a crush on her, but now I can't think like that, because I know it's something I'll never get; so I better not even consider it. -
"Yes, captain? '' Shinji replied.
"Sleep. Tomorrow we will walk until we can call the Lilins. I don't want to have to carry you," Asuka said, but deep down she wanted to ask 'why.' Why had he ended the world? Why had he abandoned everyone at Wunder so easily? Was he so desperate to get his father's approval that he didn't even think about his actions? And most of all, why hadn't he helped her in the battle against the ninth angel? Asuka turned away, to think of other things and to try to sleep.
- Sorry Asuka, I'm really sorry - Shinji thought as he too tried to sleep.
Wunder
- Damn it Shinji, why? ... Why? ... Damn - Misato Katsuragi was wondering on Wunder's bridge.
- Why? - she thought one last time as he rubbed the bridge of her nose.
"Everything okay Misato?" Ritsuko asked, seeing that her friend had been looking down for a long time already.
"Yes," Misato replied dryly, but she couldn't fool her long-time friend.
Ritsuko knew the reason. She knew Misato had seen that the detonator in her hand marked as "detonated." She knew that Misato was in a very intense internal conflict to try to keep her composure in the face of the situation. The Wunder needed a captain, and the captain could not show empathy for the biggest terrorist, the one who had ended the world.
"You can go to your room, captain. I'll take over from here," Ritsuko spoke to Misato, who only nodded. - She has a lot to deal with now, the death of her ward can't be a situation easy to handle, - Ritsuko thought, with pity for her friend.
At this moment, Mari Makinami entered the bridge in her usual cheerful, carefree manner.
"Captain," she said with a slight smile on her face.
"What is it Mari? ... I don't have time for your jokes now," Misato replied, in her chair, while massaging her temples.
"OK, I hope Puppy and Princess can continue their own luck," Mari replied.
"What puppy?" asked Ritsuko, but already suspecting who Mari was referring to.
"Whoa, Shinji. Who else would it be?" Mari replied, smiling from ear to ear.
By this time Misato was back on the bridge, with a look of surprise on her face. "What do you mean, Mari? Shinji is dead, his collar detonated."
"No ma'am," Mari replied as she leaned on Misato's desk. "He is alive and very much alive by the way. He and the princess are wandering the red earth, looking for a place to send a distress signal," Mari at this moment was speaking with the greatest calm in the world.
"Makinami ... since when do you know this information?" Misato asked, trying to keep his calm and happiness under control.
"A day ago, more or less," Mari replied dismissively while looking at her fingernails.
"And you only say that now, Mari?" Misato was shouting. "Change course, helmsman! We have to find them before NERV."
"Yes ma'am!" Koji replied.
"We have to find them as soon as possible," Misato spoke excitedly, in part worried about Shinji, in part happy that his former ward was alive.
"Misato," Ritsuko called, keeping her face neutral.
"Yes?" answered Misato, agitatedly.
"You do know that he is still a danger to the world, don't you?" Ritsuko said, dismissively.
"Yes, tell me what your point is here," Misato replied, starting to get irritated.
"Wouldn't his death be better for him and the world?" Ritsuko asked nonchalantly.
Misato stopped what he was doing. She turned around in shock, along with some members of the bridge who were holding back from shouting a "What." Sakura was trying not to cry with joy at the information, she couldn't deny that she was relieved that her hero was alive, and who knew, he might even fight alongside WILLE in this fight.
"We don't get to decide that, Ritsuko. He deserves a fair trial, if we just kill him we will be no different than NERV and Gendo," Misato said, in a way that showed that there would be no further discussion on the matter.
Author's Notes: Well folks, this is the first chapter, as this is my first Fanfic please have mercy on the revisions.
Please review, your criticism (good or bad) is very important to me, you know that I take what is said into consideration and it also gives me strength to continue.
Don't forget to also like the Facebook page, search for "Calborghete" and locate a picture of Shinji and Asuka, on this page I will post updates and it will also be easier for you to contact me.
And a long round of applause to our friend YourBlandestNightmre, who kindly corrected the English mistakes, thanks buddy.
Well, until next time
