Rating: T for occasional language. Also see other warnings.

Disclaimer: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and all related characters belong to Nickelodeon.

Summary: Bradford has always blamed Michelangelo for his misfortunes and especially for his mutation so when he manages to capture the young ninja, he's going to make sure he knows exactly what it's like. 2k12 AU.

Warning: Warnings for physical and mental torture in this story abound, as well as for implied and highly disturbing situations. Trigger warnings may apply for some chapters. There will not however, be gruesome details. Some things are best left up to the imagination.


Minnie1015: Mikey needs all the sleep he can get to heal right now but don't worry, he'll see Donnie soon.

T420000: Yeah, poor Donnie. It'd be terrifying!

Guest: I like my cliffhangers! (long as I'm not on the receiving end, that is, haha) Sorry for the longer wait than usual but I needed to fit in an 'AOtGO' update and I've been working on 'Aftermath' :-)

ViolaHarmony: Yeah, the meaning of Asahi's name is also an important clue as to his nature XD I chose his name based on this meaning - Asahi (あさひ): 光皐陽: Ray of Light on The Shore. But yeah, you're right, whether or not he was a good guy, their position is extremely precarious, especially being in the sickbay. I'm sorry the flashbacks were a little much but they were important so I'm glad you got the gist of them at least. There won't be anything else that confronting in future flashbacks though, though there will be the odd flashback coming up in later chapters.


How Much is that Turtle in the Window

ch 31

"Honestly, it's a miracle I made it back at all..."

"What happened, Don?"

Donnie swallowed and seemed to struggle to speak. Then... "I was washed overboard."

-:-

"I..." Donnie swallowed, torn between staying with Mikey where he was needed or going after Leo and Raph, unsure that they knew the danger of being swept overboard by the fast-rising stormy seas. He glanced out the door again, seeing the weather rapidly taking a turn for the worse and making his decision. "I'm going to see if I can find our brothers," he finally said anxiously. "Will you be alright? I won't be gone long, I promise."

Mikey cringed and Donnie felt guilty. They promised never to leave him alone, especially in this place that had been and still was, in many ways, his prison but a determined look came across his face and he blinked. {Yes,} he tapped reluctantly.

"Okay. I'll shut the door to keep you safe. I won't be long, just a few minutes at most." Donnie promised. He stepped outside and shut the door, leaving Mikey trapped inside in the dark and completely alone for the first time since Dogpound left him in there before they finally took the monster down once and for all. Donnie frowned a moment. They never did find out just why Mikey had been standing when they went in when he was so clearly exhausted and hurt. That was definitely something he'd have to ask about later. Maybe he could get him to talk again once they were all safe inside.

Inside... For a moment, Donnie wished he'd gone back and at least turned on the light for Mikey but just then another flash of lightning ripped across the sky, splitting it in half. The following thunder almost deafened him and Donnie clapped his hands over his ear-holes as he frantically looked about.

There was no sign of his brothers and he swallowed nervously as he saw how much rougher the water had already become and that it was rapidly becoming worse. For a split second, he wondered how he'd never noticed sooner, only to realise he'd been so focused on his mentally and physically abused brother that nothing else stood a chance at gaining his attention without it slapping him in the face.

Donnie shook his head; he couldn't afford to linger. He hurriedly slipped on his shuko spikes, climbing quickly for higher ground as fast, heavy drops of ice-cold rain began to pelt his scales. Once he reached the top of the highest shipping container, he carefully turned around, wary of losing his footing on the now slippery surface as he searched the ship for any sign of Leo or Raph.

There! That had to be Raph! Squinting into the driving rain, he cupped his hands to his mouth, screaming across the ship, "Raphael!" At that moment, lightning flashed and thunder roared, drowning out his voice. In the brief flicker of light, he made out the object only to see it wasn't his brother after all. In fact, it wasn't even a person, just a tarpaulin-covered object around the same size as him.

Gritting his teeth to stop them chattering in the icy rain, Donnie gazed around again, screaming both brothers' names but again, there was no reply, no movement. Only that of the wind viciously ripping any loose objects about.

Suddenly, the boat tilted beneath him and Donnie threw his arms out for balance. His eyes flickered around, taking in everything. It was far too dangerous to stay out here and Mikey needed him. He had to return and hope their brothers had the sense to get somewhere safe and stay there. For a moment, he despaired; sense wasn't always a concept that came easily to Raphael but if Leo was still with him...

Casting another worried glance about the ship, Donnie turned, running back the way he came. As he reached the edge of the container he was perched on, he crouched down to grip the edge when the world tilted drastically beneath him again. This time, he couldn't maintain his balance and with a terrified cry, Donnie slipped. He twisted frantically in mid-air, scrabbling to catch at something, anything with the spikes on his hands. Before he could, however, he hit the deck and the wind was knocked from his lungs.

All he could do was lay there, wheezing and gasping for air and the thought crossed his mind that that must have been how Mikey felt every time he had trouble breathing. Somehow finding the strength to move, he struggled back to his feet, racing drunkenly back to the stack of sea containers. Another wave caused the ship to tilt the other direction and Donnie tumbled out of control again. Gritting his teeth stubbornly, he slammed his left hand into the deck, digging the spikes in to hold him in place. Finally, the ship righted itself enough and Donnie stood again and ran.

Suddenly a cold feeling of terror tore its way through him and he whipped his head around in time to see a wall of water crashing into him.

-:-

Leo and Raph stared at him in horror.

"You were caught in that?" Leo choked in disbelief. "God! I saw that first wave swamp the deck! I was lucky I was on higher ground or I would have been caught by it too! How... how did you manage to get back on board?"

Donnie laughed hollowly. "It's not really something I like to think about. As I said, it was a miracle I made it back and I don't think I could have survived that long if I wasn't a turtle."

-:-

Donnie flailed desperately in the water. Constantly tossed about by the wild seas, he couldn't tell up from down. The water churned wildly about him, bubbles flying in every direction and he couldn't breathe. In fact, his breath was almost gone, telling him he'd been in the ocean for about ten minutes already and he was getting desperate.

He'd had no choice. His precious staff was a hindrance in the wild water, making it too hard to fight the turbulence so it had to go. Releasing it, Donnie squinted into the water, trying his best to keep track of it in the dark in the hopes of it giving him a clue as to which way was up but his hopes were quickly dashed as it disappeared from view. Finally, his head broke the surface and Donnie gasped, frantically trying to get a fresh lungful of air before he was pushed under again. Suddenly, the wave he was riding slammed him into something solid and the breath was knocked out of him for the second time that night.

Reacting on pure instinct as he fell, Donnie slammed both hands into it, digging the shuko spikes in and ignoring the painful screech of metal on metal as he fought to gain purchase on the ship. The spikes on his left hand slid free, dropping into the ocean and he refused to look down as the right caught and he hung there, desperately trying to regain his breath and ignore the pain in his arm.

Abruptly, the ocean slammed into him again, knocking him free and Donnie screamed. Determined, he slapped at the hull of the ship yet again. This time, his remaining shuko spikes refused to catch and he dropped, slamming painfully into something jutting from the hull. He fought desperately to grab hold with both arms and when he failed, his legs.

Wheezing in terror, Donnie looked up, to find himself hanging precariously from the ship's anchor. He quickly flipped upright, catching hold with both hands as yet another wave slammed into him, almost knocking him free once more.

Breathing heavily and shaking as the water receded, Donnie stared up, calculating the odds of climbing up the hull with only a half set of spikes and he didn't like the odds. Staying put was his only chance, so watching the waves carefully and clutching tightly with all limbs when necessary, he hurriedly worked to remove his belt and mask, using them to secure himself tightly to the anchor.

-:-

"And I clung to the anchor until almost dawn the next day as the ocean tried its level best to knock me off. Once it finally calmed enough, I took the opportunity to climb back up to the safety of the ship where I collapsed in exhaustion," Donnie explained tiredly. "It's... not a ride I would recommend. Ever."

"I bet," Raph stared in horror.

"I'm just glad you're safe and here now," Leo finally exclaimed once he found his voice. "Are you hurt at all?"

Donnie shook his head. "I'm fine, just shock mainly and some bruising from slamming into the hull and the anchor. My left hand and the muscles in my right arm are suffering from some strain and my whole body aches but I'm okay. No broken bones, though I'm not sure how I was that lucky," he admitted with a hollow laugh.

Leo shook his head in disbelief. "Why didn't you have your T-phone on you?"

Donnie closed his eyes tiredly. Of course Leo had to ask. "I put it down when I went to sleep... I just never thought to pick it up when I woke up as I was far more focused on getting Mikey to talk and trying to comfort him. I didn't plan to leave the shelter, you know and then when I did... I was only climbing to see if I could see the two of you. It's probably a good thing I didn't take it anyway. I would have lost it in the ocean for sure."

Leo nodded numbly.

"It's broken now anyway..."

Leo looked up sharply at Donnie.

Donnie smiled tightly, "I found it when I started cleaning up the mess in there."

"And why were you doing that when you're hurt?" Leo demanded in disbelief. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. If he'd tried such a thing while injured, Donnie would have torn him a new one.

"I'm not that badly hurt!" Donnie protested, staring at Leo and willing him to believe him. "I promise!"

"Miraculously," Raph bit out.

"True," Donnie nodded reluctantly. "Besides, I couldn't sleep. I was too worried about what happened to all of you when I came back to find no one there but the scent of dried blood!"

"Well, now you know so you can go back and sleep," Raph growled menacingly. "Both of you."

"Hai, hai," Donnie smiled wryly. "We're going."

Leo stood, turning to his sleeping brother and lightly touching his face. "Hang in there, Mikey. We'll be back later. I promise."

And then with Asahi checking the corridor ahead for them, Leo and Donnie left.

-:-

Hearing voices talking quietly nearby, Mikey stilled fearfully, straining desperately to hear what they were saying and who was saying it.

"Thank you, Asahi-sensei, that feels much better."

"It is no trouble, Donatello-san. You should have had me look at it when you came here earlier."

Donnie? He was alive and he came back? Mikey shifted excitedly, forcing his eyes open to see his brother's shell facing him and the human just to the side and tying off a bandage around his brother's arm.

In fright, Mikey darted back, the abrupt move setting off his nausea anew and he retched painfully. Suddenly, there was a bucket under his chin and a hand rubbing soothingly against his carapace. He glanced up fearfully to see it was Donnie.

"It's okay, Mikey, don't fight it, just let it out."

But he had nothing in his stomach but bile to let out. Mikey whimpered silently and leant limply against Donnie, craving the contact and comfort of the brother he'd feared dead.

"I will... be on the other side of the curtain if either of you needs me, Donatello-san."

"Thank you," Donnie replied quietly, still gently rubbing circles against Mikey's shell. Mikey sneaked a fearful look up at him and Donnie smiled warmly. "Everything's okay now," he assured gently.

Was it? Was it even actually real? He'd had his doubts earlier with Leo so how could he be sure now?

{Rly u, D?} he tapped hesitantly as he stared plaintively up at his previously missing brother. {Rly here?}

"Yes, it's really me, Mikey," Donnie assured softly, "and I'm really here."

{Where wer u? U sed b bak!} Mikey accused petulantly.

A guilty look crossed Donnie's face and Mikey scowled. Yeah, he'd better feel fucking guilty after leaving him alone in the dark and not coming back as he promised! Donnie had no idea what he went through, how scared he was tumbling about and not able to grip anything to save himself.

"I-I'm sorry, Mikey. I tried to get back to you after a couple of minutes like I said would but..." a look of pain and terror briefly replaced the guilt and Donnie faltered.

{But wat?} Mikey demanded, ignoring the sinking feeling in his still queasy stomach. What had happened to his brother and why did he look so disturbed?

"But things happen," Donnie replied, biting his lip. Then as Mikey watched him expectantly, he explained what happened, leaving Mikey to stare at him in horror.

{U r hrt,} Mikey tapped hesitantly, his gaze shifting to the bandages and sling Donnie's arm should have been in but wasn't.

"Yes but not badly and not like you were," Donnie admitted, looking greener than usual. "I'm so sorry, Mikey. I-I should have been there."

Yes, if only to have saved himself from what happened. {It ok. Glad ur here now, D.}

"Me too, buddy. Are you hungry?"

Yes, but his stomach was still roiling from whatever he'd been slipped earlier. 'No,' he lied.

Donnie gave him a disbelieving look. "When was the last time you ate?"

{Dunno,} Mikey replied, looking around warily once more. {Wen can we go? Don't lyk here.}

"Not for a day or two. You need care and medicine."

{No more pills!} Mikey tapped frantically, the fear rising again at the thought but Donnie shook his head.

"I'm sorry, I know how you feel but in this case, there's no choice. Without antibiotics, you could get an infection and die."

{Pls, D,} Mikey begged fearfully. {Can't! Don't want!}

"I know but I'll be the one giving them to you and you know you can trust me, right?"

Mikey stared at him, fighting back the tears that prickled the corners of his eyes. {Hai, but...}

"I won't give you anything you don't need and I'll be checking everything you're given first. Please, Mikey, trust me. The sooner your health improves, the sooner we can get you out of here."

{An' go home?}

Donnie hesitated. "And go back to the sea container. Home is still a good week and a half away at least."

Mikey flopped down on the bed and stared at the curtain despondently.

"Hey, don't worry, Mikey, we'll get there. It just takes time, that's all."

He knew that but it didn't mean he had to like it.

{Where L an' R?} he tapped petulantly.

"The sun's up so they're back at the container. Raph stayed with you through the night and before that, Leo was with you for over a day."

Mikey flickered his disinterested gaze at Donnie for a moment before turning away again.

"We've got some soup here for you," Donnie offered hopefully. "It shouldn't be too harsh on your stomach so you should eat what you can."

{Do I hav to?} Mikey asked after a moment.

"If you want to get better and get out of here, then yes."

{Fine,} he grumbled, struggling to push himself up again. He flinched in sudden fear when Donnie tried to help.

"Right... I'm sorry, I should have said I was going to help first," Donnie apologised, backing off just enough to allow Mikey to reach out for him if he wanted to.

{Did u... tell?} Mikey asked, staring suspiciously at his brother as he remembered their conversation before everything went to hell. After that conversation, it was no wonder his dreams had been so bad...

"No, not yet," Donnie immediately assured him. "I said I wouldn't until you said I could. They do want to know though. They're desperate to know what you went through."

Mikey looked away again. {Don't want them to no.}

"Alright," Donnie sighed in disappointment, "I won't tell them then but in the meantime, you need to eat and then sleep some more. I won't give you anything to make you sleep but in return, you need to take the other medication."

Mikey scowled in hatred and disgust.

"Do you want me to give them to you as is or would you rather I crush it into the soup?"

Mikey stared at the soup as he thought. Swallowing the pills whole, he knew he'd choke on them but it would be over and done with. Having it crushed might be easier but he'd be freaking out with every mouthful. Although, if he didn't eat it all, he might not get much, so there was that and maybe... if he tried really hard and couldn't taste it, he might be able to convince himself they weren't there.

{Soup, pls.}

-:-

Raph crouched down at the edge of the mattress and Mikey carefully slid off his shell with the help of Donnie and Leo. He was simultaneously ecstatic to be away from the infirmary and human medic and dismayed to be back in the dimly lit, closed in metal hotbox that had been both his prison and their current lodgings.

It had taken another two and a half days after Donnie showed up before Asahi and his brother were willing to let Mikey leave. In that time, Donnie mostly stayed with Mikey overnight, with Raph often joining them which allowed Asahi to get away to rest and Leo took the day shift. During those few days, there was much curiosity and speculation from crew coming into the infirmary but true to the medic's word, no one tried to peek through the curtain. Yet Leo became more and more antsy every time someone came in and he could see having humans so close to Mikey didn't help him at all either.

When they finally left the medical bay, Raph carried Mikey much the same as he had taking him down, only this time, Mikey was conscious and twisting and turning his head in a combination of fear and curiosity at his surroundings. He hadn't seen any of the ship prior to that and he knew he was unlikely to get another chance to with his lack of mobility so he wanted to take in everything he could while he could.

Looking around the sea container now, he could see his brothers had worked hard to clean and fix up their accommodation, 'borrowing' more rope and netting from the Umi Ryuu's stores to make sure everything was properly secured in place this time as well as clean sheets that Asahi supplied them for the mattress.

He never completely lost his fear of the medic but he did at least get used to him enough that he didn't freak out and try to escape every time the man tried to examine him or even come into the room. Of course, Asahi only ever tried to approach when Donnie or Leo were there as they at least kept the injured turtle somewhat calm while being examined by the human.

"Do you need anything, Mikey?" Leo asked gently once he was settled safely on the mattress.

'No,' Mikey blinked. He'd been given food and juice not too long before they'd left and he was pretty tired. Since being hurt so badly, he was tired a lot and often dizzy or nauseous.

"Alright, try to get some sleep then, we'll be right here," Leo smiled kindly, sitting down on the floor nearby.

"Oh!" Donnie suddenly brightened. "I found something for you, a small piece of metal sheeting."

Mikey blinked sleepily up at Donnie in confusion.

"It's best you don't try to move around too much for a while," Donnie reminded him, "so while you're recuperating, I thought having something to tap against instead of the soft mattress would be better so we can hear it more easily without you having to try too hard."

"Where'd you find that?" Raph asked, raising an eyebrow ridge in surprise.

"Oh, down in maintenance. They keep these in various sizes in case they ever need to make emergency repairs," Donnie explained matter-of-factly. "They shouldn't miss just one." Then he turned back to Mikey who was laying on his side watching his brothers and knelt down beside him. "Tell me when it's in the best position for you to access comfortably," he instructed, placing the foot square sheet of metal on the mattress and slowly moving it around until Mikey blinked at him.

{That's good,} Mikey reached out and tapped carefully on the plate with a faint smile. {Ty, bro.}

"No problem," Donnie said softly. "Now, get some rest. You need it."

{'k. Nite,} Mikey tapped softly. Then he closed his eyes, feeling more comfortable and safer than he had since before Three-Five-Eight came and quickly fell asleep.

-:-


Concrit, thoughts and comments always welcomed.