Rating: T for occasional language. Also see other warnings.

Disclaimer: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and all related characters belong to Nickelodeon.

Summary: Bradford has always blamed Michelangelo for his misfortunes and especially for his mutation so when he manages to capture the young ninja, he's going to make sure he knows exactly what it's like. 2k12 AU.

Warning: Warnings for physical and mental torture in this story abound, as well as for implied and highly disturbing situations. Trigger warnings may apply for some chapters. There will not however, be gruesome details. Some things are best left up to the imagination.


Guest: It would be terrifying! And honestly, I never understood just why Mikey would keep such a thing after Bradford was outed. Same as the action figures and later them watching his cartoon. It was cracked!

T420000: Tell me about it...

Minnie1015: Heh, nope! Definitely can't be that easy XD


How Much is that Turtle in the Window

ch 36

"Mikey!"

"Where are you, Mikey?"

"Come on, Mikey, stop scaring us, dammit!"

He lifted his head slightly as he heard the muffled, frightened cries of his brothers calling for him and shuddered in fear as he pressed closer to the cold wall. How was he supposed to answer? He had no voice and anyway, if he did, that monster might find him again.

The calls continued, growing ever more frantic as time passed and Mikey heard the sound of distant doors flinging open or slamming as he huddled, shivering against the cold tiles in as small a ball as he could. His eyes flickered around in the darkness, searching. How did his Alpha even find him? He was dead! He saw the body! And how was he human again? Bradford had been mutated long ago to match the monster that used to be hidden only on the inside.

Suddenly, the door to the room where he was hidden opened and the light switched on, blinding him painfully. Cringing, he clenched his eyes closed and turned his face into the wall.

"Mikey, are you in here buddy?"

Donnie.

He couldn't help but look up. {D...} he tapped softly, fearfully against the cold tile. The sound wasn't loud enough to travel and he heard the door swing shut heavily. He closed his eyes again, feeling sick; he was alone again and Bradford on the loose and looking for him.

Then, "There you are." He heard the sound of someone stopping close by. "What are you doing in here?" a warm, concerned voice asked softly as if speaking to a skittish animal.

Donnie? His eyes snapped open to see his brother crouched within arm's reach.

"Hey, what's wrong, buddy?" Donnie asked worriedly, reaching out as if to touch him but stopping shy of actually doing so. "Did you have a nightmare or another flashback?"

{Dogpound! He's here!} He tapped frantically, shakily, against the shower tiles.

Donnie frowned. "That monster is dead, remember? You saw the body for yourself before Leo and Raph tossed it overboard."

{No!} Mikey tapped hysterically, the panic rapidly rising within him again, {He's back! Saw him!}

"It was just a nightmare, Mikey," Donnie immediately replied in a soothing tone.

{Saw him!} Mikey insisted desperately. {In room!}

Donnie's expression cleared into understanding. "Oh! No! No, Mikey, that wasn't him, I promise. It was just a cardboard cutout. A collectable."

Mikey scrunched his face in confusion. It sounded right but...

"It's just a decoration." Donnie sighed softly and sat down cross-legged onto the ground beside him. "We really should have tossed that thing out a long time ago but you wouldn't let us. I'm sorry you had to stumble over it like that."

{Decor...ation?} Mikey asked, staring up at Donnie and shivering less with fear now than with cold.

"Yes," Donnie confirmed firmly with a comforting nod. "I don't know if you remember but before Chris Bradford mutated, he used to be a famous martial artist, a world-renowned celebrity, and you were a huge fan before you met the man and he showed his true colours and allegiance to the Shredder."

Mikey gave an impatient nod, he remembered all that. None of his memories regarding Dogpound himself had been messed with, only those regarding his home and family. All because Bradford stupidly blamed him for all his misfortunes.

"Because of his celebrity status, posters, action figures, trading cards, life-sized cardboard cutouts and other merchandise and memorabilia were released of him. They even made a cartoon series and a movie based on him. Father managed to find that cutout and an action figure for you when we were younger."

Yeah... Yeah, now Donnie explained it, he remembered and... and he remembered why he wouldn't let his brothers get rid of the thing...

It had been a gift, given to him in a moment Master Splinter had actually been proud of him for once instead of the usual disappointed. A rare occasion that he could count on one hand. He hadn't been able to give up that memory despite his brothers' insistence that he do so. They couldn't have understood, even if he'd explained at the time. Their father was always proud of all of them, unlike him and he guessed that the last year was only further proof as to why he'd always been such a disappointment.

His gaze dropped to the floor in shame over panicking over something so stupid.

"I'll make sure to get rid of it for you today, before you enter your room again," Donnie promised. "Okay?"

Mikey's eyes snapped up again. {No!} he practically slapped the ground. He couldn't! But... he shrank in on himself, he didn't want to see it again, couldn't bring himself to. Not after everything that monster had done to him.

"Why not?" Donnie protested, perplexed. "You can't seriously ever want to see it again after all this!"

He really didn't. {I... must've had a reason to keep it, right?} he shakily replied. {Wot if... I r'member later and it's too late?}

"I really don't think..."

Suddenly the door to the bathroom swung open again and someone else stepped in. Mikey turned his head to look but the shower wall blocked his view.

"You found him?" Leo asked in relief upon obviously noticing Donnie seated on the floor in front of him, even if he couldn't see Mikey himself. "Why didn't you let us know?"

"Uh, yeah, sorry Leo." Donnie muttered sheepishly, "We were kind of caught up."

Leo rushed over and still worked up, Mikey shrank back into the wall, startled by the sudden movement. "So what happened? Why is he hiding in here?"

"That's what we've been talking about," Donnie answered drily. "Short answer, he saw what was in his room."

Leo cringed in sympathy, "God, that's gotta be bad after all that garbage festering for so long. I'm surprised Raph hasn't been screaming over a roach infestation yet."

Mikey couldn't help a half snort of laughter at the mental image, though it morphed into a grimace as he remembered the giant Spyroach that had hunted his brother down so long ago.

Leo fixed him with a withering look. "Not really so funny, Michelangelo."

It had been, though, before things turned dangerous.

"I wasn't talking about the mess, I was talking about the life-size cutout in there," Donnie corrected drily, avoiding mentioning the man's name again. "Can you do us a favour and get rid..." Mikey reached up and clutched at Donnie as hard as he could - a difficult feat considering his fingers were all but useless now, "uh... move it into storage? Where no one can see it?"

"Sure," Leo replied understandingly. "But wouldn't it better if I destroyed it instead?"

"No," Donnie shook his head, "not until Mikey is ready to."

Leo frowned in confusion but agreed. "Alright, I'll go take care of it once I let Raph know Mikey's safe."

"Thanks, Leo," Donnie smiled in relief.

Yeah, {Ty, L,} Mikey added gratefully, gazing up at his brother.

Leo tossed Mikey a warm smile and quickly left the bathroom. Mikey leant forward, peeking around the wall to watch him pull on the door handle and swing the heavy door inwards.

"Are you alright now?"

Yeah, he was better, though still not fully there. He held up his hands, palms up as he frowned at them.

"Mikey?" his brother prompted after a moment.

Mikey looked pointedly up from his hands to the door handle. It was designed to simply push and pull, depending on what side you were on and clearly made for human hands rather than overly large mutated turtle hands. They coped well enough, having been long used to it but without being able to straighten his fingers, he wasn't sure he'd be able to open the door from the inside should he come in to use the facilities in future. Luckily, before he could explain matters, Donnie's face cleared into one of understanding.

"I'll put on a new, larger handle as soon as I can, okay? It may have to wait until tomorrow though, as I'll need to either procure a new one or make one," Donnie promised quickly.

{Ok,} Mikey tapped gratefully. Then he gazed around the room, finally taking it in properly. On some level, he'd known where he was, not that hard to work out actually, but he hadn't really paid attention before - too busy panicking to notice or care. He took a deep, shuddering breath. This was where he'd been headed when he woke up anyway and he now realised would have been trapped in regardless.

"It's okay, you're safe now," Donnie said gently for whatever number time Mikey wasn't sure. His brothers had been telling him the same thing over and over for weeks now and he'd never quite believed it. Even now when home, a part of him still had lingering doubts and he looked up into Donnie's warm, reddish gaze. It was filled with no doubt, just sincerity and love.

"No one's found our home yet, if you don't count the day Casey managed to follow Raph back home but that doesn't exactly count. Raph was too worried and angry over being unable to find you and didn't notice the extra tail he'd picked up. Master Splinter did give him an earful about his carelessness afterwards though."

Donnie seemed to be about to say something more but then smiled suddenly and changed the subject. "Well, that's a story for another time. Are you hungry?"

{Hai,} Mikey tapped eagerly. The last time he'd eaten had been on the ship and even then, it hadn't been a lot as he'd been too upset to eat at the time. Just like after they'd reached home. They were supposed to eat after his paws and collar were removed but... he reached a hand up to touch the collar he could still feel snugly around his neck and stared at Donnie plaintively. Donnie immediately looked crestfallen.

"I'm sorry. I'll get that off later. You're still a little too worked up and anxious right now."

Mikey scrunched up his face in confusion. What did that have to do with getting it off?

"The laser is dangerous, Mikey."

So?

"You couldn't keep still yesterday afternoon and I won't risk cutting you with it. I could kill you."

Then... was he going to be stuck wearing it forever? He stared at Donnie in dismay and horror.

"If you can tell me what triggered that flashback, it might help," Donnie offered gently. "Otherwise, we'll play it by ear and if worse comes to worst, if you'll let me, I'll sedate you to get it off."

The panic at that thought rose immediately. He trusted Donnie, really he did but he'd had enough of being drugged one way or another and waking up to find who knows what done to him. he couldn't do it and he started shaking at the thought.

"I know you don't like that idea but it's something to consider and I promise I won't do it unless you tell me it's okay. Okay?" A pause. "Mikey?"

Oh right, Donnie was waiting for an answer. Mikey clenched his eyes closed a moment and swallowed uncomfortably, then hesitantly tapped out, {Hai.}

There was silence in response and Mikey slowly lifted his gaze to peek up at his brother who looked so sad. For him. He hated seeing that look on Donnie's face, hated being the cause of it so he swallowed again and forced himself to straighten to a kneeling position and changing the subject, rubbed at his plastron, clearly miming how hungry he was.

Donnie wasn't fooled but his expression cleared and he smiled again. "Right, food. Feel like pizza gyoza?"

Now Mikey hesitated again. He wasn't sure about the gyoza part. It seemed familiar but he just couldn't recall it but pizza... the number of times it had been used against him in his training. At the very beginning, it had been used as a reward and later, the opposite. Testing his obedience, leading to hunger and punishment and extra visits to Mai. He trembled again. He knew he'd loved it once but he'd grown to dread the sight of pizza in his bowl. By the time he'd learnt to not try to eat it until he was given permission, Master Hakuba or his Alp... Dogpound would pull it away, replacing it with other food. A couple of times, however, Dogpound allowed him to eat it, even forced him to, to his regret. Every time Dogpound gave it to him, there was something wrong with it. He'd tampered with it one way or another, leading him to be sick or in pain for hours. In the end, he couldn't face his once favourite food anymore.

"What's wrong?"

Nothing! Mikey looked up in panic. {Nothing wrong!}

"Then why don't I believe you?" Donnie pressed softly, looking Mikey squarely in the eye.

{Nothing wrong!} Mikey repeated emphatically, wishing, hoping, Donnie would just take his word for it and drop the subject already.

"Okay," Donnie straightened in disappointment. "Well, I'll go get the food in the oven to warm up. Do you..." he hesitated a moment, "Would you like a shower while we wait?"

Would he?

Mikey turned his head, gazing up at the showerhead far above him. Almost nothing sounded so good. Actual warm water that wasn't under someone else's control? The chance to feel clean again? Other than a couple of dips in streams and a couple of unwanted sponge baths whilst in the ship's infirmary, he hadn't bathed in a month! The swim in the ocean totally didn't count and he could still feel the salt encrusting him now.

'Yes!' he blinked enthusiastically, tapping at the same time. {Pls! Warm water!} He stared hopefully up at the head waiting and Donnie chuckled, even as the door to the bathroom flung open again.

"Fuck, Mikey! Don't scare us like that!" Raph snapped, dropping to his knees on the tiles beside him. "Do you have any idea how worried we were?"

Mikey flinched, even as Donnie spoke up for him. "He gets it, Raph. He had a fright, that's all and was trapped in here."

"Trapped?" Raph exploded in blatant disbelief. "How? It's the bathroom for crying out loud!"

Donnie sighed. "It was pitch black in here. You know how dark it can be when the lights are off. You can't even see any light from under the door. Besides, Mikey couldn't have opened the door anyway."

Raph still looked set to argue, until Mikey tentatively held out a single hand and looked over at the door handle - too high up and too small for him to get any kind of grip on with his wrecked fingers - then Raph nodded in understanding.

"Well, okay but couldn't you have..." he trailed off. "Right... never mind."

Mikey huffed, realising what Raph had been about to ask. Still, better that than Raph knowing he'd been far too scared to move from his pathetic hiding spot over something so stupid as a cardboard cutout… He looked back down at the floor in shame.

Donnie stood. "I'm going to go warm up the gyoza. Raph, do you mind helping Mikey with the shower? Turn on the taps, maybe get a chair for him and scrub his shell for him? Is that alright with you, Mikey?"

{H...ai,} Mikey swallowed. If he knew it was coming he'd be okay.

Raph's face clouded over a moment but he nodded. "Yeah, sure. Hey, the soap'll be hard for him to use as well so do you think..."

{No!} Mikey tapped frantically. His shell he could accept help with but anything else? No way! No how!

"How about you let me finish," Raph scowled, reaching over and gently flicking him in the forehead. Mikey flinched in surprise rather than fright. "I was going to ask if Donnie thought April would be alright if I gave you her shower puff thing. You'd be able to hold that if I filled it with soap for you first, right?"

Mikey stared at Raph in wonder. It'd still be awkward in more ways than one but at least he'd be able to wash more easily. A small smile started to grace his lips at the thought.

"I'm sure she'll be fine with it," Donnie beamed. "I'll let her know though, just in case she doesn't like the idea of sharing something like that, then she can bring down another for next time."

"That okay with you, Mikey?" Raph asked, raising an eyebrow ridge.

{Hai!} he tapped energetically.

"Good," Raph grunted. "Now how about you get out of the stall so I can turn the water on."

Right! Mikey huffed a small laugh and scrambled out of the way, watching impatiently as Raph reached out to turn on the taps and Donnie left the room.

-:-

A couple of hours later, Mikey lay curled up in the beanbag in the pit, feeling clean and full - the pizza gyoza was more delicious than he'd remembered - and safe. Raph had even replaced the torn, dirty red bandanna covering the brand on his left arm with one of his own clean orange ones. Mikey was at once both pleased to be wearing his own colour again, though he'd refused to have one back around his face for the moment, and sad to see the red one gone. His brothers had no idea just how much that bandanna had helped to make him feel like Raph was always with him, even in the moments he wasn't. Donnie had even talked him into taking a single painkiller for the headache he hadn't hidden very well. Leo and Raph were both close by, seated close enough for him to reach out and touch if he so chose to and Leo had turned on the television, plugging in a tape of some cartoon he'd never seen before. Something Casey had apparently brought by ages ago for them to watch. He wished Donnie was here too but Donnie had gone to his lab to work, promising it was something to help him and he'd kept his door open so Leo or Raph could shout for him if Mikey needed anything.

It was great to actually be able to watch TV again surrounded by family but he had his doubts about the show - 'Super Robo Mecha Force Five'. He wanted to like it, the corners of his lips even twitched up from time to time but it had come from Casey... his brothers' new friend... and he didn't want to like something that guy liked because then they'd have something in common and he really didn't want to have anything in common with him.

He twisted in the beanbag to peer over the top but still couldn't see Donnie's lab and he frowned. Why couldn't Donnie just work on whatever it was down here with them? It wasn't just that the curiosity over what Donnie was doing was killing him but more that he just wanted Donnie here too. He wasn't ready to be away from anyone yet. Especially Donnie.

"Are you okay, Mikey?" Leo asked quietly and Mikey was aware of Raph twisting to regard him too.

{Hai,} Mikey tapped against the beanbag. It wasn't a good surface to use for Morse Code, he realised. Sure, it made a kind of rattling, crunchy sound but it was too soft and threw off his rhythm, making it harder for his brothers to understand. Still, they seemed to work it out.

"Don't you like the show?"

No. {Is fine,} he answered. Honestly, anything was good at this point but he was growing anxious without Donnie. Plus there was this niggling discomfort that grew the longer he watched the television as if he was doing something bad.

Sinking into the beanbag, he worked his way out of it with difficulty and crawled over to the benches surrounding the pit where he placed his hands onto the surface and pushed himself slowly to his feet. Definitely easier with something to push against than when he'd done it in the dojo in the wee hours but it still strained his too weak muscles badly.

"What are you doing?" Leo asked again, concern filling his voice. He and Raph were immediately on their feet too and crowding him.

{Checking on D,} he answered too quickly, prompting confusion from both brothers.

"Ugh, we're home now! There's gotta be a better way to communicate," Raph groused in exasperation.

Mikey shot him a hurt look. He was doing the best he could and it wasn't his fault Raph wasn't.

Raph immediately paled, "Sorry, Mike, I didn't mean it the way that sounded."

Yeah, of course not... Raph never did. {I no,} he replied slowly. He pushed his way up onto the bench and reached up to the surrounding floor to push himself up again. Leo and Raph were quick to follow, reaching down to grab him under the armpits and pull him up.

Mikey bit back a groan. Sure, they wouldn't have heard it but it would have shown on his face, leading only to difficult questions and more worry. He was grateful for the help but wished they'd asked first instead of just assuming and constantly taking over.

"Where to?" Leo asked gently.

Ignoring the brief shadow of rejection crossing his face, Mikey pulled free of Leo and pointed to Donnie's lab.

"We can just call him, you know?" Raph pointed out.

{No,} Mikey rapped against his own leg with his Leo-free hand. He didn't want to disturb Donnie, just wanted to see him. On the ship, Donnie had been with him more than anyone, partly due to his ability to understand Mikey better and partly because of their bond. That and Donnie had been the only one he'd trusted with his secrets, even if it was mostly due to his brother dragging them out of him against his will. {Just want to c.}

"Okay," Leo nodded in understanding. "We'll just go peek in the doorway, right?"

{Rite,} Mikey smiled, already taking a wobbly step towards the lab. Leo moved in to take his arm again but Mikey dodged it. {Just one, gotta learn,} he tapped softly and slowly. {Pls.}

Raph understood first and smiled. "Yeah, just one of us helping is best," he agreed, shooting Leo a smug look.

And that was what he loved most about Raph. Sure, he could be over the top with protectiveness (or a bit of a jerk) but he understood. Raph knew what it was like to want independence even when you weren't currently capable of it. He understood and was willing to help you get there faster where Leo tended to see it as you needed help and he was going to give it whether you wanted it or not, end of argument.

The trio slowly made their way across the room, Leo hovering close to his elbow once more, just in case. It both made Mikey feel crowded and anxious and made him feel safe and cared for all at once. Not long later, they reached the door and Mikey pulled away from Raph, grabbing as best he could against the doorframe instead and watching inside.

Donnie sat at a bench, tool in hand as he tweaked at something in front of him. Curious as to what Donnie was working on, Mikey blinked and shifted his gaze. Crutches. Donnie was working on crutches. He frowned in confusion. His brother had never mentioned those before now. Though he certainly remembered them from when Donnie had injured his ankle a couple of years before.

Suddenly, Donnie looked up and back worriedly and jumped as he caught sight of Mikey, Leo and Raph crowding the doorway.

"Holy chalupa!" Donnie exclaimed, hand against his plastron and breathing harder than he should. "What are you guys doing creeping around the doorway?"

Mikey grinned sheepishly. {Just wanted to c u,} he tapped hesitantly against the doorframe as Leo replied.

"I think Mikey was getting anxious so he wanted to check on you."

"Oh!" Donnie's gaze fixed on Mikey's kindly. "Well, why didn't you let me know you were there or better yet, just come in?"

{Cing was enuff,} he tapped. To tell the truth, even though he was safe at home and he knew Donnie would never hurt him, the idea of being in a lab where someone experimented made him feel a bit sick. Especially since there was a corner of it dedicated to being an infirmary and Leo had been tied down to the bed more than once on pain of refusing to stay put and rest. Against his will, his gaze drifted across the room to land on said bed.

"I see," Donnie muttered, his own eyes following Mikey's. He shook himself. "Well, your timing couldn't be better. I was about to come see how well these fit you."

Dragging his gaze back to Donnie, Mikey frowned. How was he supposed to even hold them?

"You shouldn't need them for too long but for now they'll help you get around more easily without having to rely on anyone until you get the strength back in your legs more," Donnie promised, lifting one of the crutches to show him. "I've replaced the handles with smaller, thinner ones you should be able to grip and adjusted them to your approximate height. Without having a chance to measure you though, I've had to guess at how much you've grown."

That made sense.

"Come on, let's go in, already," Raph encouraged loudly, already taking hold of Mikey's arm again and all but dragging him further inside. "Donnie can't check them from here."

Even as he let himself be dragged, Mikey shot Raph a look that his brother completely missed; he really did appreciate the help but he wanted more of a say. Not that that ever mattered much to Raph. He sighed and plunked himself down in the chair when they reached Donnie, already tired and sore from just that short amount of time on his actual feet.

Donnie smiled gently and muttered "Just a minute," as he fiddled with the grip a little more. Then he swivelled around in place, crutch in hand and held it out for Mikey, showing him how to grip it considering his limited movement.

Mikey struggled for a couple of minutes before getting his fingers around the grip, then looked expectantly at his brother.

"Does that feel alright?" Donnie asked anxiously. "Comfortable?"

So far so good. Mikey rapped at his leg with his free hand, {Hai.}

"Good, good," Donnie breathed in relief. "Raph, can you help Mikey up again? I want to make sure it's the right height."

"Sure," Raph replied easily, gripping Mikey's left arm and pulling him up without first checking to see if he was ready.

With Mikey standing in place as Raph supported him, Donnie fussed, measured and adjusted the height. Suddenly, he beamed broadly. "Okay, got it," he said, taking the crutch away again. "Just give me a few minutes to get the other one right and you'll be set to go."

Mikey frowned and tugged free from Raph to sit down again.

"I have a question, Donnie," Leo spoke up. "How is he supposed to use the crutches when you fix his hands?"

Yeah, good question. Mikey looked expectantly at his brother.

"The short answer is, he won't be using them by then," Donnie replied distractedly. "It's going to be a few days at least, maybe a couple of weeks or so before I'll be ready to do try."

Mikey wasn't entirely sure how he felt about that. On one hand, he wanted so much to regain the use of his hands, to be able to draw again and use his nunchucks and cook and everything else and on the other... he knew by Donnie being forced to rebreak them and set them right, they'd have to be encased in plaster to keep the bones straight so they could heal properly this time and he'd had more than enough of that between the metal paws and the previous plaster ones. He tried and failed to suppress a shudder at the thought.

"Besides, I refuse to do it before Mikey can at least walk on his feet unaided again." Donnie turned and smiled comfortingly at Mikey and Mikey smiled back nervously. "Before the storm, we'd already been helping him to relearn to walk so he has that practice going for him and now that we're home and those heavy shackles are off, not to mention he's been healing since the accident, it should be easier." Now Donnie addressed Mikey directly, putting down the crutch he was working on and looking him square in the eyes. "That's not to say you'll get your leg muscles back immediately, it's going to take a lot of hard work, time and patience..."

Mikey blinked in acknowledgement.

"... and we're not waiting until your muscles are fully back to normal, just to where you can get around on your own, including getting to your feet."

He'd already done that twice, the second time using the benches to help - he wasn't quite sure how he'd managed in the dojo that morning, just sheer determination not to wake his brothers by crawling over them, he guessed.

Then Donnie became deadly serious, fixing Mikey with an intense look that made him want to squirm. "That being said, you are still recovering from emergency surgery and consecutive concussions so you are not to push yourself too hard and if you feel off in any way, sick, dizzy, in pain, anything," he stressed, "you are still to let us know, no matter how minor it may seem. Do you understand?"

'Yes,' Mikey gulped guiltily. It had taken Donnie noticing something still wasn't right with him when they'd been eating earlier and asking the question before admitting his headache was back and stronger than it had been in days, not counting the submarine where it had been worse.

"Good," Donnie said succinctly. "Also, for at least the next couple of days, while you're getting used to using the crutches, you are not to wander around on them without someone nearby. You can't call out to anyone and if you get into trouble or hurt, no one would know until we went looking for you."

Mikey opened his mouth in protest but stopped and hung his head in defeat before he could even try to speak.

"We mean it, Mikey," Leo said firmly, coming to stand in front of him and fixing him with a serious look. "We really don't want a repeat of this morning when you got trapped in the bathroom in the dark." Then in a softer voice, added, "We were so scared something had happened to you."

Raph nodded emphatically in agreement. "But we're not trying to take your privacy or freedom from you, okay?" Mikey looked up at Raph plaintively. "If you need some time out for yourself or even just for the bathroom, let us know. We'll make sure you get there safely and wait outside the door for you until you're ready."

'Okay,' Mikey blinked. It wasn't like he really wanted to be completely alone again anyway, not after the last almost a year. Tears sprang into his eyes at the thought and he fought to keep them from falling; his brothers really didn't need to see those. They'd obviously thought about and discussed this without him at some point and though they were talking to him about it now, he wished he'd been privy to the original conversation.

Donnie suddenly brightened as a thought occurred to him, "If you can wait for these a little while longer, I can add a metal plate to each one so you can tap against them to talk to us more easily when you're using them."

{Sweet,} Mikey gratefully rapped against the chair arm. {Ty, D.}

"You're welcome, buddy," Donnie smiled warmly. "Now, why don't you let me finish up here and go out with Leo and Raph to work on your rehabilitation for a while."

"That's a great idea," Leo exclaimed, turning to smile at Mikey, "you didn't seem too interested in TV earlier."

Mikey shrugged. To be honest, he'd been too anxious with Donnie away to be that interested anyway, even if it'd been something he liked and knew and wasn't given to them by his brothers' new friend. That and he didn't feel entirely comfortable watching the TV after everything either. It felt just a little too much like he was going to get caught doing something human and sent for punishment and he hated it.

"Feel like going into the dojo for rehab? We can do it by the tree," Leo offered gently, making it sound like Mikey had a choice.

For a moment, he was tempted to test Leo and tell him no, he wanted to do it somewhere else but his suggestion really did sound good. The atmosphere in the dojo was warm, open, airy and had a feeling of family, love and comfort in there. In fact, he couldn't remember the last time he'd slept so well as the previous afternoon in there. The corners of his mouth twitched upwards slightly as he remembered all the times he ended up in trouble for sleeping in there when he was supposed to be meditating or doing something else before he'd been captured.

"I take it that's a yes to the dojo?" Leo asked knowingly.

{Hai,} Mikey tapped. He then placed his hands on the arms of the chair to push himself up, only for Leo and Raph to step in to help him and he had to fight off the surge of frustration at them for not at least letting him try on his own yet again.

"Hey," Raph suddenly asked roughly as he and Leo began leading Mikey from the lab, "why do you keep saying hai instead of yes?"

The irritation immediately forgotten, Mikey paused, frowning. {Same thing,} he finally tapped, slow and loud against his brother's chipped plastron where his damaged hand rested.

"I know it means the same thing, doofus" Raph rolled his eyes, "I just wanna know why? You never used to say it except in training to Father so why now? Far as I can tell, you're using English the rest of the time so why that one word?"

The frustration bubbled within Mikey. Japanese was the only language he heard for so long and the only language he even remembered unless they'd messed with his head recently again leaving him unable to even think in words like a real person. Heck, it hadn't even been a week since his last 'treatment' before his family finally found him and he'd barely even begun getting that back at the time with the limited amount the Foot spoke around him. He shook his head violently to push out the memories, he didn't want to think about the near-constant testing as they tweaked their formula or just wanted to punish him for whatever imagined slight Dogpound had come up with this time. So many times he tried to fool them into thinking it was more effective and longer-lasting than it truly was so they'd do it less often but there were certain things he just couldn't keep up the pretence on, especially considering the unwanted attention it drew his way. He began trembling and Leo tugged him closer into a one-armed hug even as Raph's expression turned to horror at being the cause of distress yet again.

"Mikey started using hai when he was only just starting to learn Morse Code and didn't have all the letters so I just thought it had become a habit and stuck because it was easy," Leo murmured, coming to his rescue.

Yeah, that was true actually, Mikey realised in relief as he thought on Leo's theory; it was the first full word he'd used because he didn't know Y yet but Donnie had covered H already and the vowels were of course the first he'd been taught. He pushed the disturbing memories violently from his thoughts again and rapped quickly in confirmation.

"Oh, okay, that makes sense," Raph muttered.

{U want me to use yes insted?} Mikey asked slowly enough for Leo to translate.

"Nuh, I'm used to hai and don't need to concentrate to understand that one," Raph admitted with a shrug that caused Mikey to feel as if he was going to slip free. "I was just wondering, that's all,"

{'k,} Mikey tapped back in relief. He'd reached the point where most words didn't make him have to stop and think anymore unless they were ones he didn't use often or wasn't sure how to spell. Changing now would put a strain on him that he didn't want to deal with, especially if it also meant his brothers would have to concentrate harder as well when they already had a hard enough time understanding him. Sighing, he looked up, focusing his attention on placing one foot in front of the other as they closed in on the steps to the dojo, then grimaced as he realised the effort needed to actually climb said steps on two feet. Maybe doing this in the dojo was a bad idea after all.

Leo smiled understandingly, "It's only four steps, Mikey and you have us to help you."

Yeah, didn't mean it wasn't going to hurt though. Still, he bit his lip and plastered what he hoped was a determined look on his face.

He really, really wanted his independence back as fast as possible.

-:-


A/N: Don't forget to let me know what you think, if it's good, bad, something you liked or didn't like?