"This is one of our Puddlejumpers, Dr. Jackson."
"Erm, how many times have I asked you to call me Daniel, Dr. Weir?"
The woman smiled as she stepped into the Puddlejumper. "At least as many times as I've asked you to call me Elizabeth. Most of my staff do. Besides, I suppose you're itching to go on the grand tour?"
"I'll be glad just to get off the Daedalus."
Daniel threw Cameron a dirty look and then smiled at Elizabeth. "Of course! Where do we start?"
"The control room; it's the nearest thing to the Jumper bay."
"Why are these things called Puddlejumpers, anyway?" asked Colonel Carter as she settled herself into the co-pilot's chair, curiously poking at the controls.
General O'Neill smirked. "My money's on Sheppard."
Weir almost giggled, but her diplomatic training enabled her to keep a poker face. "You're quite right, General, that was Colonel Sheppard's fault. However, most of the naming disasters should be attributed to Lt. Ford."
"Yo, are we moving out or what?" grouched Mitchell.
"Is there a problem, Colonel Mitchell?" enquired Teal'c.
"Nah, he's just sore because he doesn't have the ATA gene and can't fly this beauty," said Jack from the pilot's seat, "Anyway, are we all in? Then hold onto your breakfast, people!"
Two minutes later…
"Jaaack, do you have to fly so fast?"
"Daniel, those things have inertial dampeners and all kinds of cool stuff – there is no way you can be air sick!"
BLEUGH
"Well sir, he is. C'mon Daniel, up you get." Sam gently pulled her friend back onto his chair, doing her best to ignore the puddle at Daniel's feet.
"We'll be touching down in a few more minutes."
A few more minutes…
"Ok, welcome to Atlantis, SG-1," announced Dr. Weir.
"Sorry 'bout the Jumper," said Daniel somewhat sheepishly.
Elizabeth's mouth twitched, as if she longed to burst out laughing. "It's not me you've got to worry about – Jumper One is Sheppard's Jumper."
"Ooops."
"On with the tour. This is the Jumper bay. Usually we have about half a dozen Jumpers in here, but some are obviously ferrying people from the Daedalus. As you are aware, there are few people with the ATA gene, and even fewer pilots, so each pilot tends to stick with just one Jumper. I've been told that they have personalities and it's easier to-"
"You're kidding, right?"
"Um, no General, I'm not. It's what I've been told anyway, and it's come from more than one person, including Carson Beckett, so I'm inclined to believe it. Moving on with the tour, I would like you follow me into the Control room."
"…and this consol controls 'gate functions, including a DHD."
"Do you have any idea why the symbols on this gate are slightly different?"
"Sorry Daniel, we don't, but you're welcome to access the Ancient database if that would help."
"Thank you!" Jackson was practically bouncing.
"Easy Spacemonkey, wait until the end of the tour."
"Is something the matter, Dr. Weir?" The stoic Jaffa was watching Dr. Weir look around the Gateroom.
"No, I don't think so, Teal'c. And yet… Sergeant, where is everyone?" She turned to the Canadian operating the controls.
"I'm not sure, Dr. Weir. We're not short-staffed; everyone who is supposed to be on duty is here. I think it's just a lack of people from other departments, carrying out repairs and research and the like, or people preparing to leave Atlantis."
"Thank you, Sergeant." However, Dr. Weir could not shake the feeling that something was wrong.
"Ah, Dr. Weir, it's great to see you back in Atlantis!"
"Thanks Carson, it's good to be back." She waved to the people around her. "This is Dr. Carson Beckett, our Chief Medical Officer. Carson, is SG-1: Colonel Carter, Colonel Mitchell, General O'Neill, Dr. Jackson and Teal'c."
"It's a pleasure to meet you all. Well as you can see, this is the main infirmary…"
"Elizabeth, are you alright?" Carson looked at her concernedly. She shrugged as she watched the visiting SG team wander around the infirmary, talking to the medical staff.
"I'm fine. It's just… is it me, or is something not quite right to you?"
"Nay lass, I don't think there's anything amiss. No-one's injured, no teams are off-world; the place is quiet, for a change. Don't worry yourself about things which aren't there; you get enough to worry about as it is!"
She smiled along with the good-natured Scot. "You're probably right, as usual. Still…"
"And these corridors – above and below - form the science block, Chemistry down that way, with Biology at the far end – it joins back onto the infirmary. In this direction we have the Physics and Engineering Labs. I think I'll take you to Astrophysics, as that's where we're most likely to find our Chief Science Officer…"
Sam groaned.
"Problem, Sam?" whispered Cameron in her ear.
"Yep," she whispered back, "It's obnoxious, irritatingly intelligent, calls me a dumb blonde and is allergic to citrus."
"What do you mean, he's not here?" Elizabeth Weir glared at Kavanaugh.
"Dr. McKay is not in any of the labs, nor is Dr. Zelenka. They left about 10 minutes ago. In fact, the all labs are relatively empty – only those who've got experiments that cannot be left unattended, or have been ordered to stay are still here. I mean, the cheek off it, if everybody else gets to goof off early, why can't I, it's not fair…"
Elizabeth ground her teeth in an effort not to yank his slimy ponytail and slam his face into the desk, if only to get him to shut the hell up.
"Who ordered you to stay?" She tried to be civil.
"McKay, who else, only he thinks he can lord it over us and treat us like kindergartners…"
"Thank you, Dr. Kavanaugh; that will be all." Swiftly, Elizabeth began to leave the Astrophysics lab, when she paused and turned about. "Oh, Kavanaugh, I'm overriding Dr. McKay's orders; Dr. Michaels," she spoke to one of the other physicists, "you're in charge."
"But, but…" Kavanaugh just gaped like a fish that had been pulled out of water.
"Well, seeing as you want 'to goof off early', you may do so. I give you my full permission to goof off to your quarters, do I make myself clear?"
"Perfectly, Dr. Weir."
Once they had left the Lab far behind them, Dr. Jackson turned to his fellow linguist and was surprised to see that she was shaking.
"Is everything alright, Elizabeth?"
"No, Daniel, it isn't!" she snapped, "First the Control room, then the infirmary, the gyms, the recreation room, the labs… everyone's disappeared! Normally, there are too many people trying to work at once, but now it's only the minimum number of staff left to operate the departments. And I'm going to KILL Rodney when I see him-"
"That's my job," whispered Sam to Cameron.
"-I mean, what's he playing at? Leaving Kavanaugh, of all people, in charge of the Physics department! That should never be allowed to happen, he should know better than that!" Elizabeth took a deep, calming breath. "I'm sorry Daniel, I didn't mean to snap at anyone. Would anyone like coffee or something to eat?"
Instantly, Dr. Weir was bombarded with requests for 'cake,' 'blue jello,' 'coffee' and 'twinkies.'
"Ok, ok." Elizabeth laughed, holding up her palms in surrender. "The Mess Hall it is!"
"Oh, now this is going too far! Who's turned the lights off?" groused Elizabeth.
"Is there not a switch on the wall, Dr. Weir?"
"T, the lights work by thinking about it, if you have the gene, hang on…"
"SURPRISE!" shouted a multitude of voices, including those of SG-1, as the lights in the Mess Hall came on.
"What…?" Elizabeth was stunned; the room was bedecked in banners and balloons and streamers…
"Happy Birthday Elizabeth," grinned John Sheppard, "I hope you don't mind, but we've decided to throw you a small party."
Smiling at the bouquet of roses he handed her, she looked up and her smile vanished. "I'm going to ask you the same question I asked you last year: How did you find out?"
"Hello, genius here!" snarked Rodney happily, walking over to her and giving her a hug. "Happy birthday, and you personal files need better security, I'll get to work on it tomorrow."
Elizabeth shook her head, choosing to let it all slide, "Thank you, thank you all, this is fantastic!"
"No, thank you Dr. Weir, for being such an excellent leader. May you continue to do so for many years," said Teyla, touching heads with her.
When they broke apart, Elizabeth glanced around the room, smiling at the sight of most of her expedition members singing 'For she's a golly good fellow,' being orchestrated by Radek.
"Did I not say that nothing was amiss?" said a soft Scottish voice in her ear.
"Yes, you did." Elizabeth spun around beaming, with a wicked glint in her eye. "Come on, let's go get some cake before Rodney-bottomless-pit-McKay gets there," she giggled.
"I heard that!"
