One For The Other
Damn alarm clock. I hit the clock to get it to stop ringing. I get up, rub my eyes and look at the time. Its 7:30am, school in an hour. I reluctantly get out of my bed and head for the bathroom. I get into the shower and turn the knob. WOAH! That's cold. I forgot to turn up the heat. Well I'm awake now. I take my time in the shower.
knock that must be mom. I get out of the shower and dry myself off. I walk out of the bathroom and my mom is yelling at me. Without paying any attention to her, I just walk past her into my room. As I slam the door I can barely hear her swear at me and stomp down the stairs. I look into my drawers to select what to wear. I look at one of my old camp shirts. "Kagome". I never did like my name. Or the way I looked. I look into the mirror and tug at my face, trying to make it look more beautiful. I throw on a black shirt and a pair of jeans, neither are tight, tight clothes are for whores. I go downstairs and careful not to get seen, sneak out of the house. As I close the door I make a mad dash to the school.
Tired, I begin to walk down the parking lot to the school. Outside the entrance, leaning on a door is Sango. I run over to her and tackle her. We hug and soon let go. Whenever we hug I get butterflies in my stomach. I never want to let her go. She turns around and starts to flirt with Miroku. What does she see in guys anyway? The bell rings so I head to my class.
Luckily I sit right beside her in math. We sit in the back so we're kind of secluded. We both pay attention to the teacher as she lectures us about trigonometry. Occasionally I slip a glance at Sango; she never seems to pay attention to me. I look at the teacher again and I realized that I think she's kind of hot. I can't stop looking at her. Well unless I'm looking at Sango. She leaves the classroom after assigning some work for us to do. I start feeling around my desk for a ruler when my hand falls onto Sango's boob. We look at each other and she gives me a weird look. I jerk my hand back and pretend that nothing ever happened. After she seems to have gotten over it (a few seconds) I look at my hand and think about how wonderful that felt. The bell rings and I franticly pick up my books and head to go find Inuyasha.
I find him by his locker and pull him aside. I tell him I need to talk to him about something serious. He hugs me and tells me that everything will be alright. He then tells me to meet him at lunch so we can talk about it. I feel a bit more re-assured so I head to my next class. I've known Inuyasha since I don't know when. We've always been close and I knew I could always trust him. He cares a lot more than most guys.
At lunch I head back to his locker and find him pulling his lunch pale out of his locker. He has a big appetite so his lunch bag looks more like my backpack. I laugh as he struggles to pull it out of his locker. He turns to me and asks me to help him out. I grab one of the handles and we both start pulling. After a few tugs the bag falls out and we both go falling onto the ground. He catches me as I fall and I get up unscathed. He thanks me and we head outside to eat. The cafeteria is a bit crowded and we don't want to be overheard.
We sit down under a big oak tree that's beside the school. Inuyasha pulls out a sandwich and begins to eat beside me. I noticed that I forgot my own lunch. I'll live but I'm sort of hungry. Inuyasha sees me with no food so he hands me one of his sandwiched. I take it and wolf it down. While I eat I feel Inuyasha's hand on my shoulder and then I hear him ask me what was wrong.
I tell him that I think I'm in love with Sango; how I'm pretty sure I'm gay. He listens without commenting or interrupting, just listens. After I finished I feel ashamed and embarrassed and start crying. Inuyasha hands me a napkin from his lunch bag and holds me close. I could tell that he didn't really mind it if I was gay. I wipe away my tears and hug him back. He lets me go and tells me that there is nothing wrong with being different. I was expecting a long lecture, or maybe some advice, anything to tell me what to do. All he told me was to follow my heart. As I think about what he said, I hear one of Inuyasha's friends, Miroku, calling him. Inuyasha hands me a bag of cookies and hugs me before saying bye. After he's gone I sit under the tree thinking.
Why does Sango have to be straight? I need her; I'd give up almost anything to be with her. I wonder what she'd do if I told her I wasn't straight. She'd probably hate me forever. sigh Why must I be gay? Well at least I told someone. Inuyasha understands and doesn't mind at all. I feel better now that I have that off my chest. I get up from under the tree and head to my next class. I was thinking for nearly an hour.
After school I wait by Inuyasha's locker so I can walk home with him. When he comes up the stairs I tackle him and he hugs me back. It was pretty funny because I refused to let go so he dragged me to his locker. I watched him get his stuff and once he's done, we head home. The walk was silent; I guess neither of us could come up with something to say. We reach the point on the road where I leave him and I turn to say goodbye when he hugs me and whispers in my ear that he'll always be there for me.
When I get home I run up to my room and turn my computer on so I can talk to him over MSN. I log on, check who's on and double click his name. "Never be afraid to be who you are" is his nickname. It makes me smile inside and I try to start up a conversation with him. We start with the usual introductions; ask how we're doing, what's new. After a moment of silence he tells me that he loves me. He explains that he wants my love, but he'd be happy still if I said no. He goes oh for a few minutes just explaining. I'm shocked. It would explain a lot, but why now? I tell him that it can never be. He doesn't answer for about five minutes. I give him an MSN hug and tell him I'm sorry. I can tell he's heart broken. We've been friends for years, he knows me better than anyone in the world. What does he see in me? He apologizes for what he said and tries to change the subject. I tell him that there is no need to apologize. I love Inuyasha, but in a different way. He's kind of like my brother. He tells me that he's fine just being friends, that as long as we're friends then he has no reason to be down about this. I can tell that he's crying on his side. He tells me that he needs to go and right after he goes offline.
I start to feel worried about Inuyasha; he's very emotional for a guy. I go onto his poetry site and look at some of the ones he's written. I look at a few of the poems he wrote when his last girlfriend broke up with him. It makes me feel dirty, they're so depressing. I close the internet and decide to start doodling. I do this for the rest of the night while I wait for Inuyasha.
In the morning I follow my normal routine and head to school. As I walk to school I decide to tell Sango that I'm gay. It's a hard decision and it could break our friendship. I pull her aside; put my hand on her shoulder, open my mouth, but nothing comes out. I try again and I tell her, slowly, and reluctantly that I sort of like her. She looks at me and hugs me. She hugs me in a loving sort of way. She looks into my eyes and tells me that she is too. It comes to so much of a shock that I just rest my head into her shoulders. I ask her if she wants to go to the movies with me tomorrow and she responds with an enthusiastic yes.
I head off to math class with a big smile on my face. During the entire class we both pay no attention to the teacher, we just talk to each other. I am so happy that she's gay as well.
At lunch I make an effort to try and avoid Inuyasha, I'd have no idea what to say. I peer around the corner and see him, but before I could pull my head back, he spots me. He calls me over and gives me a hug. It wasn't a loving hug, more of a sad hug. I hug him back and apologize again. I can feel tears on my shoulders; I hold him tighter and begin to cry as well. What have I done? Inuyasha…I'm sorry… He thanks me, apologizes and leaves. I'm standing in the middle of the halls with tears in my eyes and on my shoulder, confused. I whisper "I'm sorry". No one is there to hear me.
