Disclaimer: I don't own ER, DARN!

Author Note: To set a few things straight I would like to say, this happens before season 6, but with all the characters, and Luka only lost his family only over a year ago. And Luka is not an attending because I don't want him to be and I need it to be that way to fit in later in the story.

Chapter 9: "Going home"

He breathed heavily before resting his head back on the pillow, not even bothering to try and go back to sleep, he knew he would only wake again in an hour or so anyway, so he just lay there, thinking about his life before everything got so fucked up, before they were taken.

2 weeks later

Luka was sitting up in bed, reading a magazine that Carter and Abby had bought him not wanting him to be bored out of his mind in the hospital room between visits, but it was hard to be bored when you were so exhausted because of a lack of sleep due to horrific nightmares invading your sleep every night. Carter and Abby had probably visited him the most next to Kerry Weaver and Peter Benton. He knew Carter and Abby were coming because they were his friends, but his had the suspicion that Kerry and Benton were keeping an eye on him because of his little slip up, but that day had been hell, he just couldn't handle it, and to be fair, he only took a small amount of what he usually had to take, but as the day progressed it got worse, so; he went out, got pissed, very, very pissed, and then pushes Benton out of the way of a speeding car, gets knocked down himself, and ends up puncturing his lung and getting caught taking said narcotics. Luka laughed a humorless laugh and said out loud to himself,

"If I thought that was hell, then what's going back gonna be like" He shook his head slightly and walked over to the window, as he was finally allowed out of bed and into some real clothes; jeans and t-shirt, and not some oversized hospital gown.

Luka was standing by the window, watching the rain trails on the windows, tracing them with his index finger. Kerry tapped lightly on the door, but Luka still did not notice her entrance into the room, and continued to stare out of the window completely lost in thought, thinking what was it going to be like when he went back, would people treat him anymore different than they already did, and the one thought that kept creeping into his mind, the one he would rather not think about; how would he be able to get his 'fix' if Kerry, Benton, and the more he thought about it probably Greene all watching his every move.

"Luka?" Kerry said, while placing her hand on his shoulder to try again to get his attention. Luka jumped slightly before realizing it was Kerry, "Sorry Kerry, I didn't see you coming in" Luka said as he walked back over and sat on the edge of the bed, wrapping his arms protectively around himself, Kerry pulling a chair over to sit on, "I know, you looked miles away…don't mind me asking, but what were you thinking about"

"Oh, nothing really, just what's it gonna be like going back to work again" Luka said while looking down at the ground, hoping that Kerry wouldn't see that he was lying.

"That's actually what I came here to talk about" Luka looked up, his heart rate speeding up as it seemed to take a lifetime for Kerry to speak again, "Benton and I think that you will be able to leave the hospital the day after tomorrow, and then you can start your shift on the 17th of April, most likely an 8 hour shift as we don't want you to injure yourself" Luka automatically shook his head 'yes', just as he had done about 3 months ago when Kerry offered him a position without even hearing the salary.

Kerry stayed for about half an hour until she had to back to the ER to start her shift.

2 days Later

Luka was lying on his side, facing the door, waiting for Benton to come to discharge him, but so exhausted from so little sleep the previous night, and finding it easier to only have brief naps in the daytime, had drifted off to sleep. Sometime later Benton knocked on the door.

When no one answered Benton, having extremely little patience, opened it up and walked over to the bed, and lightly shook Luka's shoulder to wake him up.

Luka muttered something in Croatian, which Benton took meant something along the lines of 'fuck off' and put his arm over his eyes. Benton laughed slightly at this, Luka behaving more like a teenager than the 24 year old man that he was. Benton lifted Luka's arm away from his eyes, which seemed to do the trick as, moments later Luka opened his eyes slightly before rubbing them with his hand and sitting up-right on the bed.

"Am I being discharged now?" Luka said, his questioned coated with a much stronger accent as he had just woken up.

"Yeah, I have the forms here," Benton said while holding them up in his right hand, as if it was a map to lost treasure, "how are you getting home?" Benton asked while Luka filled in the appropriate parts, before handing them back, "I'll get a taxi" Luka said while getting off the bed and stretching and wincing slightly as the stitches pulled. Benton noticed this and informed Luka, not thinking and forgetting that he knew himself, "you should come back in about a week to have them removed", Luka just nodded and went over to the chairs in the corner of the room and lifted his small bag from it, it only containing a few pairs of clothes as it had been in his locker, in case he got them covered in blood or vomit.

By this stage Kerry Weaver had also came up, to make sure everything was okay, and that Luka had transport to get home.

"Oh, are you going now? Is someone coming to pick you up?" Kerry said from the door, before coming fully into the room.

"No, I'll just get a taxi" Luka said while shifting the bag on his right shoulder, starting to feel slightly uncomfortable.

"No, we can't have that, I can give you a lift home," Kerry said while walking over to Luka and taking his arm, leaving no room for protest, but he was still going to try, "No, it's okay, I don't want to be any bother" he said, already giving up any hope as she lead him to the elevator by the arm, Benton following with a sympathetic smile on his face.

Please R&R