Hi again! Well, no one reviewed since last time…-sniffs-…but people have been reading it, so I decided to post this next chapter. It's my personal favorite, but I like my own jokes too much. Oh, well. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. At all. Reality bites.

Maes: We're back with FMA Dating…and if you just tuned in, well, too bad.

Al: Go for it, Riza.

Riza: Okay, Question Number Four: What is your idea of being nice to a girl? Man Number One?

Roy: A normal girl or you?

Riza: -glares and points gun-

Roy: -gulps- Um, taking her to the shooting range and walking her dog for her and doing whatever she says.

Riza: We should've come on this show before now…Man Number Two?

Havoc (who is severely bruised from Riza's beating in the last chapter and smells of gunpowder) Do they bleep out words like -bleep- (AN: Sex) on this show?

Maes: Yes.

Havoc: Oh. Well, that's my answer- -gulps as he sees Riza's gun pointing straight at his nose-

Riza: Ed?

Ed: It's Man Number Three, -bleep- it!

Riza: Just answer the -bleep-ing question!

Ed: Fine! I would buy her stuff and take her places with me, like on trips to a city where I know she really wants to go.

Winry: Edward! That's how you treat me! And that's not exactly nice!

Ed: Oh, shut the -bleep- up! At least I'm not whipped like Roy!

Riza: Hey, Roy's not whipped! He just knows what's good for him, unlike Havoc.

Roy: No, I am whipped. -comes and kneels in front of Riza- And it's all because of you.

- lights go all soft and pretty colored and spotlight turns blue and moves onto Roy. Al hands Roy a microphone as cheesy piano music starts. Roy starts to "Oooh" and Havoc, Ed, and Maes fall over laughing. Riza is too much in shock to laugh.-

I will not make the same mistakes that you did

I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery

I will not break, the way you did, you fell so hard

I've learned the hard way to never let it get that far

Because of you I never strayed too far from the sidewalk

Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Because of you I find it hard to trust, not only me,

But everyone around me,

Because of you, I am afraid

I lose my way, and it's not too long before you point it out

I cannot cry, because I know that's weakness in your eyes

I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh, every day of my life

My heart can't possibly break, when it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you I never strayed to far from the sidewalk

Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Because of you I find it hard to find it hard to trust, not only me,

But everyone around me,

Because of you, I am afraid

I watched you die, I heard you cry, every night in your sleep.

I was so young, you should have known better than to lean on me.

You never thought of anyone else you just saw your pain.

And now I cry in the middle of the night, doin the same damn thing

Because of you I never strayed to far from the sidewalk

Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything

Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in

Because of you I'm ashamed of my life, because it's empty

Because of you, I am afraid

Because of you…

Because of you…

-Spotlight goes back to normal and Roy takes a bow. Most of the girls in the audience have fainted from his hotness (including me). Riza's mouth is hanging open. Havoc and Ed are lying on the ground, twitching from laughing so hard-

Al: Is it time for a commercial break Maes?

Maes: -Is lying under a chair with tears streaming down his face from laughing so hard, but tries to nod-

Al: We'll be right back after these messages!

I forgot to mention in my first disclaimer that I don't own the song "Because of You" by Kelly Clarkson or any of the lyrics. But I don't. If you haven't heard that song, I strongly advise you to download it and picture Roy singing it. It caused me to laugh till I cried, but maybe it's not that funny. Anyways, one chapter left (I think). Bye! Brooke