Chapter 12: "Flashback"

Mark wondered who theses people where, probably family, the little girl looked a lot like Luka, maybe it was his sister or a niece, anyway he would ask him the next time he saw him.

One Week Later

Luka had a routine now; he would go into work, treat at least 2 patients and then go to the drug-lockup, he would take the pills in the lounge or the men's bathroom, and continue with work. Gradually the doses of pills got a little bit higher each day, the trips to the drug-lockup a little more frequent, but no one seemed to notice, the ER was at its busiest this time of year. The pills also came in a more varied selection, and on a few occasions he had even injected himself. Luka could see no wrong in doing this; it wasn't preventing him from working, he only focused on the feel of the drugs taking effect, the calmness that washed over him.

He remembered the day after Greene had returned his wallet; he had been standing at the nurse's station filling out a chart when Mark approached him,

"Hey Luka, was everything in your wallet?" Greene asked, and Luka had really not checked, his main concern at the time was the photograph and that it was still there,

"Yeah, and thanks again for returning it" Luka said, hoping that this would be the end of the conversation; he was obviously wrong.

"Hey I hope I'm not prying or anything but, who was the photo of?" Luka was almost certain that his face had lost all colour, and he was correct as Mark grabbed him by the arm, steadying him,

"Are you Okay?" asked Mark, clearly concerned and confused at what had made him go like this.

"Yeah, I didn't get much sleep last night" Luka said, and really it wasn't a lie, he didn't get much sleep last night, that just wasn't the reason why he went so pale; the reason was the questions he knew would come if he admitted to who the picture was of.

"Go lay down, I'll come and get you if we get busy" Mark said as he took the chart off Luka.

That was the day the doses grew, he went into the drug-lockup and lifted a vile and needle slipped them into his pocket and headed for the empty exam room; he pulled up the sleeve of his shirt and tied the tourniquet, waited for the vain to show and injected the drug, letting out the breath he did not realise he had been holding.

He lay down on the bed and set the alarm on his watch for an hour, not wanting anyone to hear the nightmares.

He remembered how each time he saw Mark he would go in the opposite direction and if he couldn't try to get away as fast as possible.

Luka came into work today, his shift starting at 8.00, and went into the lounge and put his things into his locker. He walked over to the coffee machine and was about to pour himself a cup when Yosh came running into the room.

"Ambulance on its way, ETA 2 mins" and held the door open waiting for Luka to exit.

"Do you know what it is?" Luka asked as he fixed his stethoscope around his neck, before putting on his latex gloves and trauma gown.

"MVA, car vs. truck" Yosh said, knowing that it was probably going to be messy.

The ambulance pulled up and a man in his late 30's was pulled out of the back on the gurney.

"Trauma 2" Luka said as he, Carter, Yosh and Malik pulled the gurney through the ambulance bay doors.

"On my count, 1…2…3" Carter said as they transferred the patient on the gurney.

"This the guy from the car or the truck?" Malik said as he set up the O-Neg.

"The truck. Drove into the car, the other man was DOA" Doris said as he left the trauma room.

"Okay, I want a tox-screen, CBC, Chem. 7, X-ray of the back and left leg, and blood- type and cross match-4 units, and someone call surgery" Carter called as Luka checked breath sounds, and saw purple bruises over the man's torso.

"Diminished breath sounds on the right, set me up for a chest tube" Luka said as he put his stethoscope back around his neck. He lifted away the man's shirt and saw purple started the procedure and saw blood coming out of the lungs. He gently probed at the man's ribs and found that two were broken.

"Ribs 2 and 6 broken on the left side punctured the lung" Luka had just finished his sentence when Romano entered the trauma room.

"What have we got?" Romano said as he snapped on his gloves. Carter told him the bullet,

"Okay, incubate him and then we can bring him up to surgery to repair the damage" Romano said while he stood by the door, waiting impatiently.

"Okay, he's good to go" Luka said as he incubated him and set the portable vent on the gurney, ready to be transferred.

Luka took off his gloves and gown and turned to Carter, "Great way to start a shift" he spoke in a humorous tone.

"Maybe that's the worst of the day over" Carter said, and he had obviously spoke too soon because Kerry Weaver just entered the room.

"There has been a shooting at a school; we need to send a surgeon and a resident; so which one of you is going?" Kerry said looking between the two.

"Sorry, but my shift just ended" Carter said while walking out of the trauma room.

"Luka, you and Benton will be going, the helicopter is waiting" Kerry said as she and Luka entered the elevator.

On the Roof

Luka and Benton were both putting on their jackets and being told the safety rules before the door of the roof was opened; they both ran across to the waiting helicopter, their jackets and hair flying all over the place. Benton got into the helicopter first and then Luka, before the door was shut by one of the pilots.

"What made you wanna come?" Benton shouted to Luka over the roar of the helicopter taking off.

"Kerry asked me or Carter, but his shift was over so I kinda had to come" Luka said the helicopter now in the air, not quite as noisy.

Both the men fell into silence, Benton looking out of the left side window, Luka staring out the right side window but not really seeing what was out there, his eyes taking on a far away look. He jumped slightly when Benton nudged at his arm,

"We're here" Benton said and both men lifted up their medical bags and waited for the door to be opened.

When Luka got out of the helicopter he wasn't sure what he was expecting to see, but he knew it was not this. Their were dozens of police cars surrounding the school, all with there guns at the ready, SWAT cars, and of course reporters hoping to get it all on film for the mid-day news. There were several ambulances arriving and departing, but the thing that shook him right down to his soul was the children, innocent and naïve, lying wounded or dead in the playground of the school, along with several policemen and innocent bystanders. Luka wasn't sure how long he stood there for but he broke out of his daze when Benton grabbed him roughly by his forearm,

"Hey, stop standing around" Benton scolded him and freed his arm. Luka lifted up his bag and went to help the injured.

He was just finished helping a young boy who had fell when he was running away and broke his arm when the gunman came out of the school. Luka saw the man point his gun in the direction of a boy, no older than 7, and shoot the boy in the back of the head; the boy fell to the ground, his eyes open and glazed over, his face etched with pain. The gunman just walked back into the building. Luka felt the bile rising in his throat and turned around in time to empty his stomach on the grass where he had been helping the young boy. Unaware to Luka, Benton came up behind him and supported his shoulders while he retched and stopped, his whole body trembling.

"Hey man, you okay?" Benton asked when Luka turned around, and handed him a bottle of water to clean his mouth. Luka took the bottle of water and spat it onto the grass before answering.

"Yeah, sorry…" Luka was interrupted by Benton, "Don't worry, just don't let it happen again" with that said Benton got up and went to help the other injured people.

Luka ran over where he saw a nurse trying to help a young boy who had been shot.

"Where was he hurt?" Luka asked while putting on a new pair of latex gloves.

"GSW to the top of the leg, I think it might have missed the artery" the nurse informed him while she carefully took back the bandage to reveal a circular wound that was oozing blood. The young boy, maybe 9 years old, began screaming and crying, struggling to get free of the nurses grip on his leg.

"Has he had any pain meds?" Luka asked, not wanting to see the boy in pain if it could be prevented.

"No, I just put a pressure dressing on" Luka was about to get a vile of morphine out of his bag when the gunman came out, brandishing the gun again. He started shooting in the direction of Luka, the nurse and the boy, and out of instinct Luka covered the nurses and the boy's body with his own. The sound of the bullet cracking into the ground beside him quickly died out, to be replaced with the sound of an artillery shell, smashing into concrete.

Flashback ( this is what Luka is seeing)

Luka was crossing the street to get supplies when he heard the artillery shell hit the apartment building behind him. He turned and ran in the direction of the apartments; he had to push away a large piece of rumble just to get inside. When he got inside he started running up the stairs, passing his injured and dying friends and neighbours, all he could think about was getting to his apartment and getting to his family, the whole way there he was shouting out his wife's name, 'Danijela' . When he made it to the 4th floor where his apartment was, he saw two of his elderly neighbours walking down the hall, covered in blood and dirt. He ran to the door of his apartment and had to push away a big and heavy piece of rumble to get inside. When he eventually got the rumble out of his way, he fell on his knees into the apartment, and could feel the bile rise in his throat, the tears fill his eyes, as before him lay his son Marko's hand, sticking out of his crib. At that moment everything else in the room disappeared, as he reached his hand out towards his son's, whispering his name, when Danijela called out to him. He quickly regained his composer, knowing his wife would need him, which they could deal with the grief once he got them to safety. He ran and saw her lying on the ground, holding Jasna in her lap. Danijela kept asking him where Marko was, he eventually turned to her and told her in a low, trembling voice, while looking her right in the eyes that Marko was dead. He ran and lifted Jasna up and was about to leave when Danijela grabbed her side and moaned in pain, unable to get up. He kneeled on the ground, still holding Jasna, and saw that Danijela had a wound to her side, from a piece of shrapnel, when he looked back at his daughter she had stopped breathing; he started compressions, shouting for someone to help him, and preformed CPR.

Back in the playground

Benton came running over when he saw that the gunman had shot where Luka was. When Benton was running over, unnoticed to him that the police had shot down the gunman and where all running over to him. Benton ran over to Luka and was about to ask him was he okay when he noticed that his eyes where unfocused, and he was muttering in Croatian.

"Hey man, you okay?" Benton asked and Luka did not seem to have heard him as he continued muttering in Croatian. Benton noticed that he was saying three names, Danijela, Jasna and Marko.

"Hey man you're gonna have to speak English" Benton said as he put his hand on Luka's shoulder, and Luka jerked backwards away from him, and looked Benton in the eyes, though Benton had the feeling he was not seeing him, and spoke slowly and in English,

"I couldn't save them" Luka said, his breath shallow, as if he was trying to regain control before he stood up and went to get up, when he let out a groan and fell back to the ground while holding his side.

"What is it?" Benton said as he pulled Luka hand back and saw that it was covered in blood, "Take off your jacket" Luka did as Benton instructed and lifted up his shirt, revealing his bloodied side, "The bullet must have skimmed past it" Benton said as he pulled Luka off the ground by his arm, he then got a pressure dressing out of his medical bag and pressed it to the wound, causing Luka to hiss in pain, "Hold that in place, we're getting the helicopter back to County" Benton said as he took Luka's arm and pulled him in the direction of the helicopter, as Luka was getting pale and Benton did not need him passing out.

Please R since it has been my longest chapter.