Escaflowne- Together Yoyokagirinaku (Forever and Ever)
Disclaimer: I do not own Escaflowne
Konnichiwa everyone!! Here is chapter 6 for you!!! Feel free to review or e-mail me and I hope you guys enjoy it! But remember, this IS a VAN/HITOMI Fanfic. I'm sorry if I have to put it down like that in the fic. Don't worry, the reason I put it that way is because I am trying to prove something later on…I think later on. So eventually, the story WILL wound around as V/H. Before you read this fic, please tell me if everyone is still with me in this story? I just want to know so I can continue on with the story. So, thank you very much for those who had their time to review. But anyways, enjoy the story, and Please Review!!
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Echoes of nothing but sadness burrowed within the surroundings of the dark space in Van's mind. Echoes that prove the one in distress. Hitomi could feel it all. She feel all strength within Van swaying away as if he was a positive charged electron, pushing away those who are exactly the same. Hitomi floated through the endless dark space of Van's mind, floating endlessly through non-stoppable cries, non-stoppable pain. She could see the torture that is burden upon Van. She could only wish that there were a way to ease the pain, someway to break the spell that is forcing Van into death's door.
Now, with the on going minutes that passed, Hitomi could see a light making light through the whole area. She could see that the endless tunnel shall end. From the moment she passed through the whole blacken place, the blindness of light made Hitomi cover her eyes due to her exposure from the endless pitch black.
As her eyes begin to adjust to the light of white, Hitomi's vision started to grow normal. From that lingering moment, with her light tanned arm lightly tapped against her sides, a figure stood in front of her, standing there with his fist clenching, trembling. Hitomi gasped with the recognizable black hair swaying around, his tanned skin, and his scent. "Van…" she said whisperingly.
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Chapter 6- The Heart…Keeper of all feelings…
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Van turned around from the call of his voice to see Hitomi standing there with shock within her green eyes. Van gave a sad smile, looking intently into her eyes. "Hitomi," he said, turning fully to her.
Hitomi didn't say a word as she ran into his arms, holding him tightly into her arms. To her surprise, his body felt so unfamiliar, so unwittingly that she couldn't put her mind to it. She looked up at him, seeing that his face was pale, showing a hint of black rings under his eyes. She looked sadly and touched his cheek, feeling it colder than his body. "Van…you're so cold," she said, stroking his cheek gently.
He nodded his head sadly, his long black bang covering his left eye. Hitomi loved it when his bangs always covered his eye. It makes him look cuter and more innocent looking like a child. "Why can't you escape Van? Why can't you?"
Van slowly pointed his pale finger to the light surrounding them. Hitomi followed his finger, motioning in circle-like manner. "What are you trying to tell me, Van?"
Van slowly laid his arm around Hitomi, hugging her close to his cold body, nuzzling into her soft, honey brown hair. "I…can't escape…" he said with a voice so silent, so sick that it made Hitomi almost fall into tears due to his condition. She slowly tightened the hold around him, trying to comfort his paining body that left his strength begin to decrease. Each moment, she could feel his hold begin to weaken, his body becoming skinner and more bony than ever. Hitomi could tell that he couldn't hold much longer. She stared into his dull brown-reddish eyes that once held a lot of joy and life. "Don't do this to yourself, Van. You have to keep your strength within. You've got to snap out of it."
The dull eyes within Van started to become duller, his body beginning to be transparent. Hitomi notice it as the grip around her started to subside. Frantically, she tightened the hold within his invisible body. "Please Van. Don't throw away your life like that. Don't wish that you want to disappear!"
"But…I can't…help it," he said, his voice abrupt and quiet. "…I can't escape. I can't escape it. Everywhere…I run…everywhere I go…it won't let me go."
"What can't let you go? What is making running so much Van? Please tell me!" said Hitomi.
Van looked down at her vivacity body, seeing how warm Hitomi is against his cold one. He could see the glimmer within her emerald eyes. He loved that glimmer, he loved that deep color; he liked the whole presence of Hitomi around him. "I…can't…escape…my past…"
Hitomi gasped as a shot of light radiated from out of nowhere. She held on to Van as the wind swiped her long hair, trying to protect Van from danger.
The light dimmed and Hitomi opened her eyes. In front of her, Van was no longer there with her, holding her to him. "Van?" asked Hitomi, looking around her surroundings in the bask light. "Van, where are you?" She started to run through the white tunnel, trying to find where Van has taken off. She called his name numerous of times during the pass minute, trying to see if he is still here in his own mind, deep inside the trap doors of his past. "Van, please show yourself," she said, stopping to take a breather.
The white room was so light that Hitomi couldn't find her way out or in. She looked around, in every corner and crevice like a huge labyrinth going nowhere. "Van?" she asked, peering into another ashen corner. "Van, why did you disappear? Why did you leave me alone? Please answer me! I want to hear your voice."
From that very moment, a distant cry was heard, a childish cry that only can mean one thing. Turning to that direction, Hitomi could hear the child's cry clearer than ever. Her hopes started to dig in as she ran into that direction of the muffled sob. In all her wishes, she wished that muffle would never end. If that sob made her hopes high, then it is possible that Van may show up. She kept on running, running to the muted snivel that is becoming audible in every second. Hitomi could feel the fervent feelings within, the depression and the loneliness that completely solitude itself from everyone else.
Hitomi stopped in her tracks as she heard the cry near her now. She could feel it rising in her senses as she turned to the right. In the deep corner of a crevice, a little boy kneeled there, with his knees up against him and his face smothering into them. It's as if he never got up before, as if he is chained or glued to where he seated. The boy only wore a long sleeveless red shirt with long, khaki shorts that identified the person Hitomi could recognize.
"Mother…Father…" stammered the boy, hiccupping once in a while due to his non-stoppable bricking and crying. "Brother…"
Hitomi felt sympathy towards the boy who just sat there, feeling all alone and cold. Slowly, she kneeled down to the boy, looking at his small features. "What's wrong?" she asked with a gently, sweet voice. The boy looked up with a start, looking at Hitomi with more tears coming down his cheek.
"It…couldn't be?" said Hitomi. The boy wiped off the fresh tears and looked at Hitomi with fear in his eyes, shaking violently.
"W-Who are you?" he asked, edging nearer to the wall behind him.
"It's…Van…when he was…only 5…" said Hitomi as she extended her to gently pat his head. "Don't worry. I'm not going to hurt you." She reached the top of his head to only realize that she is being consumed by painful visions. The visions that only can mean Van's young life.
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"Van, come here," said a voice so deep and masculine that it snapped Van out of his little play time with his curious mind. Getting up from his place in the grass after playing in the mud, Chibi Van got up and washed his hands as fast as he can. Dashing to the entrance of the castle, Van went into his father's arms as the King of Fanelia gave him a father's hug. "Van, you said you want to learn horse back riding?" asked Gaou, smiling at his second born.
Excitedly, he bounced up and down. "Yeah, yeah," Van said with a smile.
"Okay, but don't go ahead of me or your mother would kill me if you were hurt," he said as he carried his son to the stables who was laughing excitedly like a child.
Gaou, the King of Fanelia, was the first step in his life, which fully started the whole slow process of Van's internal illness that never was revealed to anyone except his inner self. Van stood there near the stables of Austria, looking intently at horses with sad and mournful eyes. "Father…" This was his first sign of the slow illness deep within.
*Flash
Varie was in the kitchen, helping the cooks to make Van's favorite cuisine. Little Van came to the kitchen and tried to sneak a snack when his mother caught him. "No, no, Van. You will have to wait until dinner," said his mother.
"But, mama, I wanna have a snack. I'm hungry." He paused for a moment to see Folken signaling him something. Scratching his head, he turned to his mother. " Besides, brother asked me to get one for him too," said Van with those puppy dog eyes.
"Oh he did, didn't he?" said Varie, putting her hands on her hips.
"D'oh!!" said Folken behind the door, slapping his head for failure to make an excuse for getting a snack just one hour away from dinner.
*Flash
"Promise Van. Promise me that you would never take out your wings until the right time comes." Memories of his mother made Van shed a tear as he looked out into the fields, flying Escaflowne in dragon form through the night with Merle sleeping in front as Hitomi sleeping behind with her head resting in Van's back, where Van's wings would unfurl. This was the second sign.
*Flash
"Brother!!" yelled the young, Chibi Van, running to his brother, Folken. The young man with Aqua, long hair, turned to the little Van, smiling as he careful lifted him up with great joy. They both laughed gleefully as Folken lifted the tiny bundle to the air, like a father playing with his baby child.
"Do you want to fly?" asked Folken.
Little Van smiled and started to extend his hands. "I wanna be a Dragon!" he said, laughing like the little kid he is, full of life and curiousness within.
*Flash
Tears started to form in Van's eyes as he remembered those days just when Folken just died. The third sign of his decreasing strength.
*Flash
Hitomi was back into reality as she gasped after seeing Van's memories that are paining him. "So…what I am seeing right now…must be his hidden feelings. His hidden feelings that he left bottled up after his family died, leaving him in a state of alone."
The young Chibi Van that Hitomi was supposing trying comfort was no longer in front of her, kneeling and weeping for his lost loved ones. Hitomi sighed looked around once more, any signs of Van, his red shirt, his black hair, his scent, and his wings. "His wings?" said Hitomi. In front of her, drifting silently through the air, was a signal pure white feather floating somewhere to the left. As the feather drifted that way, Hitomi found Van, the very Van she knew from three years ago with his wings out behind his well-developed back. Slowly, he turned to her, looking at her with sad and ashamed eyes, yet hold the look of determination and love.
"Van…"
*Flash
A vision of her started to fall into the crevice of a huge whole, during a huge earthquake after destroying the minefields of the Drag Energist where most of the Zaibach slaves harbored their lives to obtain that energy resource.
Out in the distance, a flash of white light started to penetrate that dark whole, revealing to Hitomi a young man with white wings, flapping towards her. Slowly, she fell into unconsciousness as she looked into the red-brown eyes of Van with his beautiful wings. "Y-you're…an angel…"
*Flash
"Those were the words that you've spoken without even saying a cursed Draconian…"
*Flash
Van flew through the darkened sky on Escaflowne, trying to reach the heart of Zaibach, gliding smoothly from the bloody war below between guymelefs and soldiers on foot. "An agitated heart calls the dragons. And hate and fear create conflict," said Van to himself, looking carefully for any intruder who is attacking him.
Just when things are going smooth, the Energist of Escaflowne died down once more, making Van lose control of Escaflowne. He gritted his teeth, trying to stabilize Escaflowne with his controls. "E-Escaflowne!" he retorted through his clenched teeth.
When he regained the control of Escaflowne, a sudden image of Hitomi started to consume his mind. He gasped a bit, hearing Hitomi's call within. Slowly, his hard poker face softened to the sound of her voice. "Hitomi…" he said. He closed his eyes and with one manful scream, Van unfurled his wings, his shirt completely torn into shreds as he gave up using Escaflowne and using his own will to rescue Hitomi.
Far across the distance, Hitomi could hear Van screaming her name out as he descended near Zaibach. Hitomi smiled and looked up into the confined ceiling. "Van!" she called excitedly with a smile. The fate alteration machine started to crack and Hitomi looked up with joy. With one powerful push, Van managed to break through the barrier, with his feathers drifting behind and his wings flapping once. Seeing Hitomi in sight, Van flew down to her outstretched arms as he grabbed her with a loving hug, a hug that portrays the feelings towards the two.
*Flash
"Van…you," stammered Hitomi as she looked through his sorrowful memories.
*Flash
Another vision protruded both of their minds as Hitomi found Van and herself playing in the fields, just before the day of her departure has come.
*Flash
An image of Hitomi hugging Van in the graveyard near Folken's graveyard as they stood there, never letting each other go. With one finally tight hug, Van slowly lifted the Energist up into the sky, calling forth the all too familiar pillar of light. Hitomi was slowly lifted, trying so hard in to let go of him.
*Flash
"You kept…all those memories in your mind. You've…never forgotten anything in your life," said Hitomi, nearing Van, who suddenly turned to the original Van when she first stepped into his memories.
"Yes, I kept all those memories in my mind," he said, looking intently into her eyes. "Yet, when I kept these memories in my mind, it started to decrease my healthy self. Each day, I would feel as if I'm aging so quickly, that I could clearly see my life flashing by. Those are the consequences for keeping those memories caged up deep in mind." Slowly, he stroked Hitomi's soft cheek. "It's not about the memories right now that I am having. It is all the memories that I have three years ago and the memories when I was only a kid."
Hitomi lifted her hand to touch his, feeling the coldness within. "But Van, why would you keep it in your mind? Why would let those memories leave you like this?" Van lowered his gaze from her, looking down at his feet. Hitomi looked at him intently, watching every move he makes. She could see the deep sadness and feel the hurt he is going through right now. She could even feel the power draining from him each time he stood there. With all those memories bottled up in his mind, it hurt him more times than Hitomi being hurt when she left him and her father leaving her life forever. Yet, something was different about those feelings he have. Something about these negative feelings that Van has doesn't seem so sad. Deep within, each time he would see these memories, it would increase his morale just a tiny bit. Yet, at the same time, make him sick. It's as if he is being caged from something. Then, right then, it hit Hitomi like a lightening bolt. She comprehended the bottled up memory, the door that never opens in his mind, the deep space of memories within his mind. Hitomi knew what is holding him back.
"Van…are you scared that you might forget them?" asked Hitomi, showing a smile to him. Van looked up instinctively at her, as if a ghost spooked him out. "Van, don't pain yourself like this. Don't let those memories bother you anymore." Slowly, she cupped his cheek, looking intently into his surprised eyes. "Because you can move on without forgetting them."
"But how am I suppose to move on? I obviously forget about them. So I tried to keep them in my mind. Yet it pains me more."
"Van, you don't need your mind to bottle up those memories. You can't be trapped in your past. Van, you can always remember them. Thinking of them once in a while is good sometimes, but too much of it will leave you like you are right now. You must understand. I'm telling you to be the person I knew a long time ago. Don't let that mask hold your true, sweet self, Van. And in order to be you, you must set aside those feelings and move on to a new future, fulfilling a lost promise. Van, don't bottle up your memories in your mind." She slowly put her hand onto her heart. "Keep all your precious memories in here. Your heart. You won't be pained or sad within here. You can remember all those precious memories in your heart and gather your pride in here to move on. Just think of happy memories of them. You can stand up for them as defense to gain more courage, more strength as you grow and learn from them." Hitomi smiled at him. "Besides, you have to wake up. Everyone would be sad if you died. Everyone is waiting for you to wake up, Van. Merle is waiting. Allen and all your friends are waiting. I'm…waiting too."
Slowly, the pale within Van's skin started to subside as he looked into Hitomi with a smile. "Hitomi…"
"Come on Van. Let's go back. Use your heart to find your way out of this mess. It is the only key to unlock that maze and throw away the key to pain."
"Hitomi…thank you," he said as he gathered her into his arms. Hitomi was satisfied as she felt his familiar warmth and his scent that is no longer distant. This is the Van she knew for so long. Not just an image, not just a ghost, but just him and only him. Arching his back, Van let his wings out of his back and flew out of the whole place, with Hitomi to guide him and his heart to unlock his soul to freedom of life, not confinement of death's door.
"If only I can change your heart Van," Hitomi thought, remembering something that she doesn't want to remember.
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In the far distance, a clock started to strike seven times, indicating the time of 7:00 in the evening. Sounds of birds started to die within Fanelia as night started to come forth to awaken the sandman from his rest to pour sand on those who needed much sleep.
The faint sounds of the waterfall in the gardens started to consume the mind of Van, who is beginning to jerk. Quite slowly, after whiffing in the smell of a strange essence, yet smells divine, he started to open his eyes. He gave a small moan as he started to feel for his forehead.
"Look!" said a gasping voice, making him jerk due to the sound, giving him a major headache. "He's waking up! Lord Van is waking up!"
More sounds of murmurs started to consume the whole area near his bed, at least 3 of them where there. Coming to his senses, his vision started to come forth to find Merle, Allen, and Gaddes looking down at him with expression of relief.
"Lord Van!" yelled Merle as she suddenly lunged into him and hugged him as tightly as ever. "You're all right! I knew Hitomi would bring you back!" The cat-girl started licking his face, making him wince since he was still a bit groggily.
Then, the name hit him when Merle spoke out. Hitomi. Slowly, he sat up, looking around his surroundings. "Van, we were worried that you were a goner," said Allen, patting him lightly on the back. "It's great that you're finally awake."
Van just gave a questioning look at everyone, wondering what they are talking. "Was…I really dreaming? Or was it really Hitomi who really rescued me?"
Right then, a small groan came from Van's lap. He gazed down to see a young woman with long honey-brown hair getting up slowly from her sleep. She sat up, rubbing her temples with both hands. "That is the last time…I ever do that again. It's been so long since I used my powers," she said, trying to parry the headache inside her head.
"Hitomi! You're back too!" yelled Merle as she gave Hitomi a huge hug.
"Ow, Merle, of course I'm back." Then, suddenly something dawned on her. "Merle, how long I was?"
"The whole day," said Merle. "Nothing happened. But you brought Lord Van back. See, he's even awake."
Right then, Hitomi was too nervous. In three long years, she never had seen Van in person. Even though she has images of him in her mind, they weren't really the true form of him. Slowly, she turned her head to find Van looking astonishingly at her.
"H-Hitomi?" he asked nervously, looking into her emerald eyes. "I-it's really you?"
All Hitomi could do is giggle silently and smile. "Yes, Van. It's…really me…"
Suddenly, Van grabbed her by the shoulders, making her jerk in surprise as she gasped, his eyes looking intently into hers. "I-I-I thought I was really dreaming! I thought you were just an image guiding me to my path." A huge smile spread on his face as complete joy spread half of his body. "But…you're really here Hitomi!"
"Yes…I am," said Hitomi unknowingly. She doesn't know what to say at first since she was too nervous about to say anything. Then, just when she was about to say something cheerful, a sudden thought struck when she realized that Van no longer wields the same feelings towards her. She looked down sadly to Van's bed, not meeting his gaze. "Oh Hitomi! I missed you so much!" he said as he drew her to a tight hug.
Hitomi went stiff as a board as she let Van hug her, without her own hands encircling him. Her hands only stood at her side, immobile at the moment. She trembled absentmindedly, knowing that this feeling she is going through is complete sadness. She didn't even want to look at him or anything.
From the moment Van hugged her, he felt a different presence within her. Somewhere around the lines, there is something quite peculiar about this. She would gladly respond, yet now, she somehow refused and didn't hug him back. He looked down at her to find her bangs covering her eyes, looking down sadly as if something hurt her feelings. "Hitomi, what's wrong?" he asked, reaching for her chin to look at her face. Just inches away, Hitomi flinched, her head still bowing down.
"Don't Van," she said chokingly.
"W-what's the matter, Hitomi? You don't seem too happy to see me," said Van, quite hurt by her actions.
Merle, Allen, Gaddes, and Reeden gave a knowing glance at each other, seeing how Hitomi reacted with a hurtful expression on her face. They didn't bother her since all understood perfectly of how much she is feeling right now.
"Hitomi…please…look at me," he asked her gently and pleadingly.
"Van?" said a voice calling out to him from the door.
Van, and everyone around except Hitomi looked up to see a woman, dressed in a royalist kind of manner, with her long, brown hair flowing gracefully down. Somehow she smiled and ran towards the bed, with complete joy on her voice. "Van, you're okay!" she yelled as she jumped on the bed. Roughly, she looked at Hitomi with a glare of distraught. Looking away, suddenly, with one movement of her hands, pushed her away from Van with a little pout on her face, forcing Hitomi to fall off the bed.
"Hitomi!" said Allen, Merle, Gaddes, and Reeden at the same time as Allen caught Hitomi before she hit the hard floor.
Van noticed this and tried to call Hitomi's name, but the girl that threw Hitomi hugged him, which completely threw off his voice. "Oh Van, I was so worried that you might have died!" she said, tightening the hug.
"Yeah, Kyoko, I'm fine now," stammered Van, trying to see if Hitomi was all right. Slowly, the girl, Kyoko, loosened the grip from Van and smiled at him.
"Hey, what's wrong? You seem kind of out of it," she said, looking at his eyes. Slowly, she turned to the direction of his friends and eyed Hitomi suspiciously.
Hitomi looked at the same gaze, looking at the girl who was hugging Van. Then, by surprise, something hit Hitomi. "She…has…my eyes," thought Hitomi as her eyes suddenly widened by that realization.
"Umm…Van…who is this…strange girl?" asked Kyoko, pointing rudely at Hitomi.
Van looked at Hitomi's surprised and pale face, sensing an awkward feeling of distress and sadness burrowed within. "Hitomi…I would like you to meet…"
"Kyoko, his fiancé," said Merle with a hint of agitation in her voice. "Lord Van, she all ready knows everything about that. When you were sick in bed, I told her everything about it."
"I-is that true Hitomi?" asked Van nervously, scared of Hitomi's reaction.
Hitomi didn't want to speak. She is too much in turmoil in her feelings. She didn't want to talk to anyone or Van. But, she didn't want anyone to worry her. "It's true…Van…it's true," said Hitomi reluctantly, looking down most of the time. She tried her best not to choke her hurtful feelings out.
"And…Kyoko…this is Hitomi Kanzaki. A dear friend of mine who helped me stop the Great War," he said, still looking at Hitomi and her reaction.
"Well, well…I thought you had that boyish kind of look that everyone talks about," said Kyoko, quite rudely.
"Hey, Kyoko, that was rude! How dare you speak to a Seer like that!" said Merle, defending Hitomi.
"Well…it's the truth. People with short hair are considered as boys," said the Noblewoman. Merle growled furiously after the insult from a Noblewoman for calling her friend a boy. "You…better take that back…or-"
"It's okay, Merle," said Hitomi silently. "You don't have to defend me. I don't care what people think of me." She stood up and turned away, walking towards the door after she done her duty.
"Hitomi." Hitomi stopped in her tracks and gave a sidelong glance at Van, who was calling her and looking at her worriedly. "Don't you… miss me?" he asked, a pleading glance looking directly a Hitomi.
Hitomi just gave a jerk of surprise after hearing Van's question. Van, asking if she missed him? Even though he has a fiancé, he still asks that question in front Kyoko? Right now, all she wanted is to ignore him. She wanted to ignore him because she might get hurt if he sees him with Kyoko. She just wanted to get away from all the sad emotions that endured her. Anger, sadness mixed in with her mind as she stood there, giving no answer. Slowly, she turned fully and around and just simply smiled. A smile that shows ghostly on her features. "I-I am so sorry to bother you…"LORD" Van. I'll just… be on my way," she said, bowing to Van. A single tear streaked her cheek as she suddenly ran off to her room, her silent sob echoing through the empty halls.
"Hitomi!!" Van was about to get up from his bed when Allen stopped him. "Allen, please let me go! I have to see if Hitomi is all right!"
"Van, just let her be," said Allen with a sad look on his face. "She had a rough few days here. Just let her be to cool down."
"Hitomi, wait!" said Merle, taking off to comfort Hitomi.
"What a crybaby," said Kyoko, crossing her arms around her chest. "I mean, it's not like she cares about you, right Van?"
His bangs started cover his left eye as he looked down sadly to his sheets. "What's wrong with her, Allen? Why is she sad?"
"Well, you're the one who should know," said Allen bluntly. "Or, if you want to know, you have to ask her yourself."
Van's hair completely shadowed both eyes as he looked down. "Hitomi…"
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End of Chapter 6- The Heart…Keeper of all feelings…
*What do you think? You like? Well, please review and hopefully I'll put the next chapter in. Please tell me you are still with me on this story. Well, until then, Ja Ne!!!
*Oh yeah, just to tell you, "Kyoko" means in Japanese "Mirror." Start thinking please.
