Escaflowne: Together Yoyokagirinaku

Disclaimer: I do not own Escaflowne or anything related to it!!

        And here is chapter 14 for you guys. Hehe, I managed to find myself some time to write my fics from my busy schedule and so, here it is, Chapter 14 that you guys are eager to wait for. This is also to make up for my late updates. A little fluff in this chapter between Van and Hitomi, yet, you know how guys are? Stubborn to think of how they really are feeling? Anyways, the writing took me a week to write due to a lot of thinking and revising. I do notice a tinge of what I am feeling in writing since there was a lot things happening in my life. I guess you can say the way my style is reflecting what I am feeling right now. Well, I'm still trying to think of how I should make the beginning part of this story a bit more…well, I can't really describe it, yet I know it is missing something. So I might be replacing it. And I would thank all of the reviews that you fans of Escaflowne have given me. It really does cheer me up whenever I read them, even on the gloomiest day of my life I get cheered instantly, which makes me write more with passion. I would give out replies for your reviews, yet, some questions are part of the plot and I do not want to respond to it since I don't want to spoil. So, I'm sorry for the lack of answering your questions. If you really, really, and I mean really want to know what will happen next, e-mail me or AIM personally and I'll try my best to answer it. Please be sure to read my other Escaflowne fic Past Love. Anyways, I blabbed too much once again, but please review. You guys still with me? Hopefully you guys are ^^ Now…

On with the story…

(Can't think of title, Title's block I have got, that I do)

~*~*~*~*~

        "Are you okay?" asked Van, cradling her in his arms as he flapped his wings to the sky above.

        After just a blink moment looking at his wings, Hitomi couldn't help but be dumbfounded at this very moment, looking into Van's eyes widely. She never expected this event as Van looked at her with worried eyes, seeing the depths of her mind that she actually seen her life passed by her. "Hitomi?" he called, seeing that she didn't spoke a word after he caught her.

        She didn't know what to say at this point anymore. All she could think of is the handsome young man who rescued her with his wings that always makes her heart skip a beat. The rain suddenly started to die down, revealing the night coming in through the sky, with the Mystic Moon glowing brilliantly up in the dark sky. The glow within Van stands out in this kind of light. Hitomi was about to say something, but words didn't come in her mouth, still too speechless of this surprising event. She couldn't speak words. But, once she gazed into his eyes, feelings started to come to her.

        Tears started to well up in her emerald eyes, which surprised Van. With one swift movement, she hugged him so fervently that her sobs started to come so hard. She was sacred, sacred that she might of died. She was near the brink of death and she completely broke apart, happy that she does not have go through this little mishap. Van knew these feelings and understood her emotions. Slowly, he hugged her back, trying to comfort as much as possible. "Van…" she said, nuzzling against his bare shoulders, with the pendant still around his neck.

        "It's okay, Hitomi…I'm here…"

~*~*~*~*~

Chapter 14- Emotional Scars…

~*~*~*~*~

        "Please, Hitomi, don't cry," said Van, trying comfort her as much as possible. "I'm here, please don't cry yourself this way."

        "I…thought I was…going to die Van," said Hitomi. "I thought…no one could save me because…I was alone."

        Van just kept comforting her, giving the soothing words she needed to ease her pain feelings of sadness. "It's not true, you are not alone Hitomi."

        The sobs were still hard as ever when she held onto him, as if seeking for warmth. Even though his whole body was cold as ice, Hitomi just wanted to hug to try to get those crying feelings out, letting her emotions out with so much prowess and feeling, that Van commended her to be so brave to let the unspoken feelings out of her body. This only made Van tighten the hug around her, flapping his wings once in a while to go down to the land below as slowly as possible. Only then, he will wait for the others to come for them, due to his weakness from using his wings so much.

~*~*~*~

        "Do you think Van saved her?" asked a very worried Merle, looking down to the world below.

        "Don't worry, Merle," said Millerna, patting the cat-girl on the shoulder. "Van caught her and they are safely down there, waiting for us."

        In the background, Kyoko was on her knees, looking shockingly at the scene she just witnessed before. Van took that huge risk and jumped to rescue the Psycho girl from the Mystic Moon. He would do such a rash thing, jumping off the ship without anything to keep him afloat? This was a situation that made Kyoko fell to her knees, her mistake causing this situation. The only thing she could think about is Van and her reputation. What will she be going now if Van no longer is here with her? Will her Noble, reputation self diminish? She shook her head from that thought, trying to get those emotions off.

        "Allen should be landing the Crusade by now," said Millerna. "And he should directly put it where Van and hopefully Hitomi landed."

        "How can you be so sure?" asked Kyoko, almost screaming. "I mean, he's not a cursed Draconian or something. How can he survive this?"

        Merle just shook her head, and looked out into the starry night, in hopes that her friend is safe.

~*~*~*~*~

        The swift movements of his wings comforted Hitomi greatly as he gently flapped them, inching closer towards the ground of a vast forest near the Mystic Valley. She nuzzled into him, shivering from head to foot from the tremendous rainfall that took place a long time ago. Slowly, she looked into his red-brown eyes that always seemed to glow whenever his wings were out of his body. Noticing the wondering gaze upon her, Van slowly tightened the hug, smiling reassuringly that he will be all right, even though the circumstances were possibly fatal. Hitomi still held that nervous look. His eyes seemed too much of a dull color now then before, knowing the symptoms are starting to come around again.

        "Don't worry, Hitomi," he said with a faint smile, somehow, wincing at the pain shooting through his whole body. This only made Hitomi squeeze him a lot more, holding to him in dear life. She could feel it. The Consumer is trying to retrieve the power that is holding on to him.

        Below, Van could clearly see the grassy forest below, flapping his wings once to hastily land there. "Hold on," he said, changing positions in his stand up posture. Nodding, she held on to Van, burying her head against the nape of his neck. Gently, Van took her legs, held them, and flew swiftly to the ground.

        With both feet sticking to ground, Van gently put Hitomi down to the ground, looking at her as he removed his arm around her. Yet, when he let go, Hitomi didn't as she held on to him, shivering from head to foot still being traumatized by the fall and the coldness from the rain. Van staggered, but softened as he drew both of his arms around her, letting his wings cover around her, trying to warm her up and comfort her. "Hitomi, don't be sad anymore. You're safe," he said, tightening the hold around her. Slowly, he let his white wings wrap around her, trying to warm her and remove the fear inside her.

        To her surprise, his wings were so warm, feeling as if she is going to sleep in his arms. For a while, there was silence between the two as Van moved one of his wings up and down on Hitomi's back, trying to keep the warmth in her body. She gave a silent moan. Hitomi loved that feeling. It's as if Van is treating her like a baby as he silently comforted her with the gestures of his wings. Sighing, she slowly looked into the eyes of the angel she loved. Van could feel her glance and looked down at her, smiling.

Hitomi began to open her mouth. "Van…I…"

        "Van!!" cried a frantic voice from a far. Slowly, he removed his gaze on Hitomi and looked into the source of the voice. Coming fast towards him was Kyoko, waving frantically with a cheerful expression on her face. Van's face suddenly went stiff as his eyes looked out in surprise. Hitomi noticed the gaze he has, wondering what is wrong with him at the moment. Realizing the annoying scream from afar, Hitomi knew what he stiffened for. Yet, once she looked at his surprised face, she wondered why would he react like this?

        "Van, I am so glad you are okay!" yelled Kyoko, smiling so fondly as she neared the two, Hitomi letting go the grip around him and his angelic features. Slowly, she stepped a few inches away from him, looking away from his lingering gaze that held a look of curiosity. Yet, that was not the worry he is not thinking about at that very moment.

        With the smile plastered on Kyoko's face, she was about to hug Van when suddenly she stopped. Something is different about the scene before her as she stood on the damp grassy ground. The light of the night somehow was different and a bit lighter as a faint white luminates around Van, with his wings outspread gracefully from his back. He looked down even more with shame, looking intently to the ground. Hitomi was quite surprised by this. Van and Kyoko's reactions were different in some exotic reason. She looked observantly at Van and Kyoko, seeing that they are not moving one bit after Kyoko came into view just several seconds ago. Right then, Hitomi realized that something has to do with Van and his wings. Helplessly, she just watched them, since she had nothing to do at this time.

        Kyoko trembled with mixed emotions, feeling a rush of surprise and anger surging through her body. "So…" is all Kyoko could muster, her eyes suddenly narrowing. Van grimaced at the angry voice she had. "This is what it is. This is what you are hiding all this time without even telling me." She started to walk slowly to Van, her fist clenched. "You are "One of Them." Those cursed ones that always bring misfortune for those who come near. I don't believe this!" Van did not say a word of this. He knew he was guilty for this, and he must endure this whole trauma sooner or later. "I can't believe you are doing this to me! Don't you care about my well-being? My reputation? My dignity as being one of the best people of all? How could you do this to me, Van?"

        As Kyoko's words started to bring emotional threats, Hitomi looked away grimace, knowing that she would be mentioned in this little conversation. She looked down, her teeth closed together tightly, at the same time her teeth shattering from the cold. She knew that she is not wanted in this situation. With one quick movement, she turned away and was about to run. Right there, in that quiet, yet loud moment, she was suddenly stopped with a cold hand clasping her wrist tightly. Her eyes suddenly widened, her feet stopped moving. She stood there, with her hair matting against her back, as her bangs slowly lay on her forehead. Gradually, she turned around to see Van's hand holding her wrist. Questioningly, Hitomi looked into his downcast face, seeing the shame, the melancholy within his eyes. Van wanted to turn to look at her, yet it would only anger Kyoko even more. "Please, Hitomi," he thought to her. "Please… don't leave me."

        Hitomi looked into Van's sad eyes, watching it become more and more sad as Kyoko's words broke through his mind. Hitomi blinked a few times, confused by this situation. Her mind clicked to finally realize that Van did not show his deep down secret about himself to Kyoko. And she knew that this is not the time to go away. Van needed her by his side. He is too vulnerable to deal with this at the moment. Hitomi was quite astounded that Van never ever told Kyoko about his bloodline. And it surprised her that Kyoko would act like this towards him, with hate all over. When Hitomi first saw his wings, she was never mad. She thinks they are beautiful and Van really felt good after she spoken her words. And if she was in Kyoko's shoes, finding out his secret by accident, Hitomi would never, ever act with hate towards him. Even though she would be a little hurt, she still won't get all temper-tantrum about it. Because love is stronger than hate. And Kyoko was doing the exact opposite.

        With his hand still tightly clasped onto her wrist, Hitomi eased and smiled sadly, pivoting to be by Van's side. Just when he felt her hands trying to remove his hold, Van was surprised to feel her hand intertwined with his. She smiled once again, looking at him sidelong. "Don't worry," she thought to him. "I won't leave you alone. Not anymore."

        By this time, Kyoko did not notice the look the two exchanged for each other. She was too busy trying to get her anger out on Van for not telling her from the start that he is a Draconian after all their time they spent with each other. "Why didn't tell me? Why, Van, why? Ever since that so-called "Seer" came along, she is nothing but trouble, causing us to be more distant. Come to think of it, you spend more time with her than me! You're pathetic Van! You are a self centered, conceited, stubborn, cursed man!"

        This was the last straw. As Kyoko continued to name harsh words to Van, Hitomi was shaking in rage, knowing that these words are not true. She hated when someone is trying to demoralize someone she dearly care about. Even if it is love, and Hitomi knew that this is too harsh and wrong. Then, all of a sudden rage clicked into Hitomi's mind and right then…

"That's it!"

        Van heard Hitomi. Once he heard those angry words, Van was sweep with a sudden surprise, making him dumbfounded by Hitomi's sudden action that she would never do to anyone else.

        *SLAP*

        Kyoko seized her foul mouth to only tend to her red cheek that was badly hit by Hitomi's hand. Hitomi breathed hard, shaking due to the trauma she had to go through.  "That's enough, Kyoko," said Hitomi, looking angrily at Kyoko. "That's enough of your big mouth! I am getting sick of this!"

        "Hitomi…" said Van, looking at Hitomi surprisingly at her actions.

        The young Noblewoman slowly turned her head to view Hitomi more clearly, with her hand still tending to her cheek. She glowered at Hitomi with abhor in her green eyes. Nonetheless, she was quite surprised at the same time with Hitomi building in such anger and strength. No words spoke through as she glowered furiously at Hitomi all the while, as if she was a prey that could be beaten and eaten by any second.

        Yet, even with the evil look that Kyoko is giving, Hitomi stood her ground and looked intensely at Kyoko, not afraid to face the pathetic vanity queen. "How dare you show such disrespect to everyone around you," began Hitomi, her teeth clenching after speaking. "Especially to Van, who is symbolizes such devotion to you."

        Kyoko turned away from her gaze, looking away in disgust, trying to ignore her words that spoke the whole, utter truth of Kyoko's pathetic mask. "Ignore me all you want Kyoko, but you know it is the truth." Hitomi took in a deep breath, trying to calm her shivering feelings at the moment. "You…of all people, should know how much honor and devotion that Van is going through, putting all his energy to his kingdom and you. You should know Van better than me after you were with him through so many months. But…instead of getting to know Van, you deliberately only thought about your own reputation instead of tending to Van when he needs you the most."

        For the rest of the time standing there, Van looked at Hitomi, seeing how hurt she was to see the way he is being treated. He looked on, watching Hitomi as she spoke to her heart's content.

        "Shouldn't love mean that two people are devoted to each other, without thinking about yourselves or reputation?" continued Hitomi as her face slowly softened. "Shouldn't love be a sacred feeling that two lovers share as a symbol of how much their heart aches for another? Love is something that shouldn't be taken for granted. It is feeling that determines the hurt, the happy. Love is something that only talks about between two couples and not the world around you. Without the power of love, no one would be protected, no one would be safe in one another's warm arms, and the most important thing of all, no one would be alone."

~^ ^~^ ^~^ ^~^~^ ^~ 

        Everyone needs someone to be by there side, and Hitomi is the one who needs someone by her side. After the long, fervent fight against Kyoko, who she completely shocked, she felt that she needed to be alone for a while. Yet, being alone would not work any problem out to mend her emotions. Later that night, Hitomi leaned against the rails outside the Crusade, looking out into the starry night, with the stars in a beautiful pattern. She loved the stars, no matter what kind of mood she is in. All she knows is that she is feeling better, knowing that beyond those stars, her father is looking down at her from Heaven. The warm breeze started to come forth, easing Hitomi's tensed emotions.

        In all her life, after leaving Gaia what seemed like forever, Hitomi never have spoken words so meaningful before, so strong and true that it might kill an evil force with her arrow of words. Hitomi sighed once more. The trauma she been through is never taken out and she never taken that much energy to speak. "Why did I say those words?" said Hitomi as she kneeled into the rail with an embarrassing look. "Yet, I'm surprised to see myself actually knocking some sense into Kyoko, out of all people." She lowered her eyes to the lands below, which suddenly turned from a vast forest to a row of clattered mountains with a river flowing within the mountains cervices. "Van…must hate me now…for what I did to Kyoko."

        After the Crusade landed were Van and Hitomi are, Van did not speak a word to her after a while, ever since the conflict between Kyoko and her ended with a speechless vanity queen and a very traumatized Hitomi who never knew the strength within her. Even in dinner, after serving the food, he did not speak to her, as his mind is somehow is in another place in another time. Sadly, Hitomi did not give the courage to speak to him as she put some of her cooking on her plate. At least he ate, which is sort of a good sign. Yet, still, this didn't give Hitomi a great confidence that Van will be talking to her. She sighed with defeat and announced that she would be outside. Merle and Millerna insisted that they would go with her, yet Hitomi denied their company with gentleness, a sign that she needs to be alone for a bit.

        And now, for the passed thirty minutes she remains in the upper deck of the Crusade, recapping with her emotions from the past to the present. Hitomi did not want to be alone at first once she stepped outside in the cozy, warm night of Gaia, yet at the same time she wanted to be left alone. All she could feel right now is confusion; confusion with everyone, confusion with herself. Something about her self-conscience told her that something is wrong with her. Hitomi wistfully shook her head, trying to pry out the second thoughts that are running through her brain's nervous systems.

        The comfort of the wind suddenly turned gentle as fleeting footsteps echoed through the wind. Hitomi's thoughts heard the very footsteps that suddenly broken her deep, daydreaming thoughts. The winds no longer wound around her as it slowly swirled gently around the owner of those soft sounding footsteps. Somewhere around the wind's gust, Hitomi noticed a smell that is always so familiar, so peaceful that it calmed her aggravating heart that is in tone with her thoughtful brain. "Niowaseru no Harrapa," the winds whispered repeatedly to her. "Niowaseru no Harrapa…"

        The words of the quiet winds were so familiar that made her want to turn around to face the owner who is lingering just behind her. Slowly, with enough courage, she turned around, listening to the direction of the wind's voice as it sink to her ear many times it gust its warm breeze.

        "…Van?" uttered Hitomi with a stumbled, nervous tone, facing the young Draconian who looked longingly at her. He smiled at her as she mentioned his name, noting that she is no longer in the state of loneliness.

        "What are you doing up here alone?" he asked, even though he knows the question the answer, yet wanting to make sure the Seer speaks truth within her words.

        Slowly, Hitomi looked away from Van to view clearly at the Mystic Moon, hanging above the sky. "I wanted to be here alone…to think through my thoughts of what I did today." She took a sneak glance of Van to only find him walking up to her to kneel against the railing beside her. Hitomi once more looked up into the great wilderness of Gaia, continuing to finish the words that she wanted to say to answer the young Fanelian King's answer.

        "Are you wondering if your actions are wrong?" asked Van, not looking at her at the same while.

        Incredulously, she whirled around, looking at him with wide green eyes looking at his sidelong glance. "How…? How did you…"

        "I can read your thoughts," he said, looking at her fully. "And also… you thought that I would not talk to you regarding to your actions…"

        Hitomi looked down without any more words to say, for Van all ready spoken of how she feels right now. "Even though you slapped my fiancé," he continued, turning his eyes to the view the sky. "It doesn't really matter to me of what you did."

        "What?" Van smiled and slowly put his cold hands on her small, woman shoulders.

        "What I mean to say is that, Hitomi, we are still friends, no matter what. It doesn't matter with small problems like Kyoko. I wouldn't be mad at you with this kind of situation…if only it has to do with business or anything big. You've been treating me so well Hitomi, that I considered you as…" He paused for a moment. He was not able to utter the word and shook his head. Instantly, he had a thought in his mind that made him smile. "But to tell you the truth, I have never seen Kyoko so surprised that someone like you would slap her like that."

        The two started to chuckle at the thought with Kyoko with utter surprise in her eyes.

        "But really," said Hitomi, wiping the tears off her eyes. "I'm not really sure what came over me." Slowly, she went back to the railing, looking up into the blue sky with a serious look on her face. Van's uplifted face grimed instantly. "It's just this sudden…anger washed over me, and I never felt that way…you know." She clutched her heart, her eyes turned from seriousness to sorrow. "But…I'm really sorry…for hitting Kyoko like that you know. I was so mad that she insulted you that way because of who you truly are. I wanted to do something because you were not in the state to deal with this kind of situation. So, I guess I fizzed up and shocked her by showing who I was if someone makes me mad."

        "Hitomi…there is no need to apologize. I like said before, I don't really care what you do…" Van said, standing beside her. "I'm sure now that she is thinking about it. Because she was so in shock that she went through those phases. I know Kyoko is not that kind of person."

        Not that kind of person? Hitomi absorbed those words. Something was not right of what Van said. What does Van see through her?

        "Van…you don't see…do you?" said Hitomi, still staring intently at the sky above.

        "See… what?" he asked gently.

        "Nothing…" she said, shaking her head from the thought.

        Silence presumed between the two pair as they stared across the distance. Hitomi kneeled into the rails, watching the stars sparkle. Slowly, she looked at Van, watching his dull eyes reflect the Mystic Moon. He did not heed the longing glance in Hitomi's eyes as she looked on, staring into every feature of his presence.

        "He…doesn't see…" Van sighed as he enjoyed the warm breeze, lifting his arms slightly as he let the wind consume his body. His unruly hair lifted gently, showing some parts of his forehead. Hitomi could see nothing is troubling him. Even while he stands there, with her, it makes no difference. "It doesn't make a difference at all…He doesn't see…" she thought. Her vision started blur as her heart ached absentmindedly.

        Memories of the past flooded her mind as she remembered everything about her time in Gaia, the most beautiful place that she ever walked into. It was Van who guided her and pulled her out of the confusion of the world. It was him that actually understood her, even though it was hard for him to express his sympathy. Everything about Van was something Hitomi could never find back on her home. And all this time, after much loneliness and sadness that she must endure and suffer, the only thing she wanted in her life…

        "He doesn't see…that…all this time…and I have been…waiting…"

        "Hitomi…" said a soft voice, snapping Hitomi out of her emotions. She looked up, trying hard to hold the flowing tears to come out. Van smiled softly at her and slowly took out something from his pocket. Hitomi looked at his ungloved hand to see her locket in his hands. "Merle wanted to give this back to you. She told me that you dropped this when you fell."

        Hitomi's eye widen in surprise as she found her locket in one piece. She thought that Kyoko threw it down without any reluctant thoughts coming to that evil girl's mind.  She looked up into Van's eyes for a moment, then at her locket. Van waited patiently, watching her look from him then to her locket repeatedly. Van wondered what is plaguing her mind at the moment. Yet, he didn't heed to ask Hitomi about the thoughts surging through her mind. He kept his silence and watched her.

        With shaking hands, Hitomi grasped the little locket, still keeping her hands on top of Van's. She looked at the top of her hand, thinking for a while. She was nervous at that moment, wondering what is Van looking and how she should give her thanks to him for bringing her beloved locket back. Reluctantly, mustering enough courage in her soul, Hitomi averted her green eyes from her hand to the beautiful red eyes she adores. When she looked, it was a surprise that Van was looking intently at her. Even though they were dull from his curse, his eyes were still magnificent as ever.

        "Can't you see the longing in my eyes, Van…?" she thought as he gazed into his eyes, seeing nothing but a hazy dull expression with no compassion. "I've been waiting…for the only person I love so much in this world. I've been waiting…for you, Van…for such a long time…"

        Van blinked a few times, and smiled handsomely down at Hitomi. "And now…after waiting for so long for this moment…" Tears started to come and she couldn't sustain them any longer. "…I've lost you…"

        Van smiled melted when he saw the hurt within Hitomi, filled with tears as she broke down. He could feel her hands shaking on his, feeling that it is losing her grip around her locket. Worriedly, he looked into Hitomi with concern. "Hitomi, what's wrong?"

        Hitomi just wept, no words coming out of her mouth. Her tears fell like a waterfall. She stood there, shaking without realizing it. The emotional scar that was locked within her heart unlocked the bottle up emotions that she tried to keep so long from everyone. She can longer hold those emotions and finally broke through.

        "Hitomi…" he called soothingly, wondering what made her emotional like this. "Hitomi…please tell me…what's wrong?"

        "V-Van…" she meekly said. The emotions speak louder than words as she started to wail moderately, her tears increasing its speed.

        He could feel it more strongly now, Hitomi's emotions. It is something that he couldn't describe as he watched her pour her heart out. He could feel that her heart is being crumpled as if her heart was a single piece of paper being squeezed like an orange. Her heart was full of pain, sorrow, and suffering. Van couldn't put her finger out of what triggered her to break down, even though it was right in front him, right in the tip of his tongue. "Hitomi…"

~`~`

        "Don't you feel it, Lord Van?"

        "Feel what?"

        "Don't you feel Hitomi's hurting feelings?" she asked, looking away from the city to Lord Van's downcast eyes.

        "Yes, Merle, I do feel her feelings," replied Van, looking up into the Mystic Moon. "Merle…does she really hate me? Hate me for being who I am?"

        Merle stood silently on the pavement, watching the stars glimmer in the dark sky. "…Do you remember what Hitomi said about people returning your feelings? What you feel right now, deep inside your heart, is how she very well is feeling. This is how she responds to you for your feelings that you done wrong."

        "But what feelings are you talking about, Merle? I do have feelings for Hitomi, but I have more feelings towards Kyoko than-"

        "But do you really feel that way, Lord Van?" she asked, looking straight into his eyes. "Do you really think that this is just infatuation for another because of similarities? Can't you see that you are hurting Hitomi and yourself at the same time? Hitomi…responded to your feelings the way she is acting towards you right now. It seems as if you are a mere stranger to her now. Can't you see that your actions would lead Hitomi to her destruction?"

~`~`~`

        Van widened his eyes as he remembered the conversation with Merle. He looked down at Hitomi once more to still see the hurt within her.

          "But do you really feel that way, Lord Van?"

        "I…I don't…know…"

          "Do you really think that this is just infatuation for another because of similarities between Hitomi and Kyoko?"

        "…I don't know…"

        "Can't you see that you are hurting Hitomi and yourself at the same time?"

        Van closed his eyes and listened to his heart, feeling it beat at every second. Inside, there was tinge of ache within his heart, making him grimace at that slight movement.

"Hitomi…responded to your feelings the way she is acting towards you right now. It seems as if you are a mere stranger to her now."

Could Hitomi's cry mean something? Van wondered and looked at Hitomi. Still, the tears kept on going. He still didn't understand as he thought about it hard and long. He stood there without moving. Hitomi still has her hands on his, shaking violently. First, he saw her like this when she was about to die. Yet, why would she cry even after she was rescued? And now, this time, Hitomi broke down because of so much suffering in her heart. But for how long has she been suffering? 

"Can't you see that your actions would lead Hitomi to her destruction?"

~`~`~`~`~`

            I promise…for the both of us…that we wouldn't hurt each other, no matter what the causes are. I swear to my heart that I will not broke our bond…"

        *Flash

          "Are you willingly to survive this, Draconian? Are you willingly to live or die?"

        *Flash

        "I… hate you! I hate you!"

        *Flash

        "Do you truly want to go back to a world that is no longer your way?"

        *Flash

~`~`~`~`

        Each time Van recap to his dreams and visions of conversations from the past, the more he is beginning to finally understand what Merle is saying.

~`~`~`~`

        "Do you still love her?" asked Allen, asking the same question that keeps on repeating in Van's head. Van was still uncertain, and he couldn't help but be silent through this whole rhetorical question.

~`~`~`~`~`~`

        "Do I really love her still?" thought Van. His heart started to ache more in numbers, without him knowing that he is hurting while he sees Hitomi like this, so vulnerable in front of him.

~`~`~`~`~`~`

        Hitomi is running towards him, with horror stricken in her face. She was running frantically from a shadow lingering behind her. She tried to run faster, she tried to reach Van's floating body who was looking out towards Hitomi. The only solution that Van could do is extending his hand towards her, trying to help her up to him. She extended her arm and tried to reach him. But, the shadow behind her easily caught up to her, with its evil red eyes smiling sinisterly.

~`~`~`~`

        Van's eyes grew from sadness to shock as he remembered his dream.

~`~`~`~`

        "VAN!" she cried as her body soon split into half.

       

"Can't you see that your actions would lead Hitomi to her destruction?"

~`~`~`~`~`

        Instantly, as if it was sudden gust of wind passing by, the young Draconian did something that caught Hitomi in a sudden gasp. In that lingering moment…

        Van hugged her.

        Hitomi could feel her head placed on his well-developed chest, as she could smell his scent more closely to her. She stiffened in surprise, yet the tears were still flowing. For the passing moments, they stayed like this for a while, Van holding her tightly to him as he laid the side of his head on top of Hitomi's head.

        "Hitomi…don't cry," he said, trying to hold the tears within him. "I don't want you to cry anymore Hitomi. I don't want to see you like this."

        "Van…"

        "Please Hitomi…don't cry…I'm here for you…" He rubbed her back gently with his cold hands. "…And I'll always be here with you…Hitomi…no matter what…"

        When she heard those words, Hitomi gasped silently. Slowly, her eyes softened and she cried once more into him. Her stiffened body softened tenderly as she wrapped her arms around him, holding her beloved angel fervently as she cried. Van soothed her as he moved his feet slightly, rocking her gently, as if they are slow dancing.

        "I-I was so…scared…Van," she began, finally able to muster words out of her mouths from her endless, emotional cry. "I was scared I wouldn't see everyone Van…I thought I lost everything because I thought my life would of ended."

        "Shh…don't worry…you're safe…like I said before…you're safe… with me…"

        "I was happy that you rescued me, Van…I was so happy that I couldn't help but cry. I thought I was going to end up like my father…" Her cries went in deeply and Van tightened the hold on her. "…I knew it was going to happen. I had the feeling that something dreadful is going to happen to my father. And all I could do is just stand there and do nothing about it. And now…"

        "Hitomi…it wasn't your fault to begin with," said Van. "Because you knew it's going to happen, but you can't stop the fate of your father."

        "I know…but I still want him to be…"

        "I know, Hitomi, I know. I feel the same way as you when my mother disappeared and never returned."

        "Van…why? Why do I have go through so much suffering?" she asked, nuzzling her head into his chest.

        Van sighed, finally realizing that her emotions were bottled up all this time. He completely felt sympathy for her. "Hitomi…people go through that phase all the time…"

        Slowly, he removed Hitomi from her position and held her chin, making her look to his dull ruby red eyes. "Suffering is something that people must put up with. Everyone suffers…not just you. Yet…suffering can be lifted if you believe that you'll pull through. There are always ways to end suffering. Hitomi, you are a strong and gentle person who doesn't deserve this agony. I would give up everything…to just simply end your suffering, Hitomi…"

        "Van…" she said as he looked into his eyes. Somehow, she no longer wields the sign of sadness when Van observed her once more. It is more of a feeling of relief.

        Slowly, Hitomi's head suddenly sank into Van's chest. Van gasped when he felt her weight limp. With great quick reflexes, he managed to catch her after her knees buckled. "Hitomi!" he called worriedly. He gently turned her over to find her eyes closed.

        "Thank…you…Van…" she said sleepily before drifting to a deep sleep.

        Van's eyes softened. "Poor Hitomi…she cried herself to sleep…"

        Van, with great care, lifted Hitomi in his arms. He grimaced from the pain he has within him, yet he managed to push that ache away when he stood straight, cradling Hitomi. Slowly, he made his way inside the Crusade. When he was about to round the corner, he almost bumped into Allen.

        "Oh…I guess you beat me to her," he said with an approving smile. "How is she?"

        "She fell asleep in my arms when she needed someone to cry on," he said, looking at her angelic, sleeping face. "I guess everything that happened to her today really tired her out." The Knight of Cali nodded. "I'm going to take her to her room."

        "Umm…but are you sure?" asked Allen, realizing the sudden pain-stricken face on Van. "I mean…in your condition."

        Van winced a bit, yet managed a smile. "Don't…worry about me, Allen. I'll be fine. Good Night." With that, Van made his way through the halls.

        Allen watched Van as he disappeared into Hitomi's quarters. Right beside him appeared Merle, watching Van carrying the sleeping Hitomi into her room.

         Merle smiled at Allen. "It looks like Van is beginning to think about it now," he said to Merle. "But, it will take a while for him to realize his feelings."

        "Yeah, I know," she said, whipping her tale back and forth. "But right now, this is how it supposed to be."

~`~`~`~`~`~`~

        Within a few minutes, Van gently put Hitomi into her futon, putting the blanket over her shoulders. He sat there after putting Hitomi into the comforts of her bed, watching her as he listened to her deep sleeping breaths. He smiled down at her, loving the scene before her.

        "She just…looks so peaceful there…" he thought. He moved his hand and gently caressed her cheek.

        "Umm…Van…close the window…it's cold in here," she said sleepily, turning around to face him. Van just chuckled and ran his hand through her soft, silky hair. He loved the feeling through his hands. So soft, so feathery; he just wanted to touch her hair all day. Hitomi's hair is not like Kyoko's at all.

        After a few moments, suddenly, Van kneeled over and held his stomach. A shot of pain started to go through him. "Damn," replied Van as he tried to fight it off.

        "You will give-up your power to me…Draconian…I thrust for the true nature of your power…"

        He could feel it, the pain shooting through his veins. Van knew that the time was almost up for him. He could instantly tell by the way his aching nature is right now.  Suddenly, the tenderness suddenly spread from the pit of his stomach to his heart, squeezing it so fervently as Van started to wince even more, kneeling closely to Hitomi's sleeping form.

        Van turned around and suddenly coughed dramatically. After a few times, a pool of blood was now on the wooden floor. Van breathed heavily as he turned to look at Hitomi, sweat dropping randomly from his brow. His vision started to blur. His head started to feel heavier than ever. "I…can't…give up…for Hitomi's sake."

        "I want that power! I want that power!"

        "No…way…I'm…going…to…give…you…my…power…" Van's vision blurred even more as he felt himself coming into darkness.

        "H-H-Hitomi…" is all Van could muster before he fell to the floor, being consumed into darkness.

~`~`~`~`~`~

        End of Chapter 14- Emotional scars

        I'm sorry if the format seems a bit hurried, but I was in writer's block at this time, which explains some parts of the story to repeat itself…I think. But I manage to upload this chapter for you guys. I can really relate to how Hitomi feels at the very moment. However, I wrote it, so…you get the drift. ^^ Feel free to tell me if there are any questions regarding to this story. I am more than happy to answer your questions, except if there are questions about the plot, and then I won't tell you. Sorry, but I want it a surprise for everyone. Well anyways, please review, AIM me on Gundamgrl, or e-mail at my address in my profile, or, at LilAznKuti@mail.dpinoyweb.com or lil-azn-kuti@asianavenue.com which by the way I have my own page on that site. Anyways, thank you for reading, until next, Ja ne. ^_^