Disclaimer: I doth not own ye Incredibles. I doth yes own everything else.

H'OK, here's-a ze zecund schapter. Um… yeah. I have nothing to say. Um... rabbits! Don't you hate it when you want to say something but don't know what to say? It's so irritating!I WANT TO SHOOT THE GUY WHO MADE ORANGE MARSHMELLOWS THAT SMELL LIKE HAMBURGERS! What? Hmm. Just read the stupid chapter and send a stupid review. Well, not a stupid review, but send a review. And be sure to make the message sound very much like that one thing that………

Chapter 2

If You Think Our World Is Bad

The man before him yelped and jumped back. "Whoa," he gasped, "Oh, my… I'm sorry to scare you like that!"

"Scared!" Dash shouted. That was when he realized - the dude had a sword!

He backed away slowly. "I was just -" A lump in his throat cut him off. He swallowed, and continued, "- surprised, that's all."

"Well! I certainly can't blame you," the guy said. "I shouldn't have been up in your face like that. I apologize."

Dash, who had never before in his life been confronted with speech this polite, was at a loss for words. "Uh…" he said, his eyes darting back and forth as if looking about his surroundings for something to say. The guy didn't seem to notice this, and simply continued to gaze at Dash with a friendly smile.

This went on for quite some time, until the dude said, "So what is your world like?"

Dash was stunned. "Wh-what?"

"I wasn't born yesterday!" the guy exclaimed, "You're not from this place!"

Dash stared at him for a little while, then, for lack of anything better to say, declared, "You're good!"

The guy flashed a smile and winked at Dash. "I know."

Dash began to look around, taking in his newly acquired surroundings. "So, what about my question?" the guy asked him.

"Oh! Right!" Dash exclaimed, "Well… My… er, world… is mostly like this one -"

The dude interrupted with a scoff. "I should have known," he said curtly, "For all the imagination he has, he sure doesn't use it a lot."

Dash was - to say the least - completely baffled. "What are you talking about?" he asked hesitantly.

The guy looked at him, then said, "Here, follow me."

Dash looked around. He was walking through what looked like a small village. "This - all this - was created by a boy named Tom," the guy who was introduced at the beginning of the chapter told Dash.

"He built all this?" Dash asked, amazed.

"Well - with his mind."

"Wha- huh?" Dash yelped, leaping back a step, "He built this with his MIND?"

"Well - yes. Our world is made from people's imaginations. This place was made from Tom's. That's why it's called Tomville."

At that moment, there was a loud rumbling that came in bursts, much like the T-Rex's steps in Jurassic Park. Dash spun around wildly, searching for the source. "What IS that?" he shouted over the noise.

The guy gave a cry of frustration. "IT'S THOSE STUPID DINOSAURS AGAIN!"

"Dinosaurs?" Dash whimpered. A huge form suddenly burst out of the forest. Dash began to scream, but it died in his throat. He raised an eyebrow and glanced at the guy, who sighed and nodded. The "dinosaur" was big, white, and looked like a child's drawing pulled off a page and enlarged to the size of three elephants.

It consisted of almost no more than a single line. Its hands and feet were just three points on the end of its arms and legs. Its tail was small and, Dash thought, pitiful compared with the size of the dinosaur itself. Its eyes were just elongated dots protruding off the top of the dino's head. Lines slanted inward on top of the dots, forming very unimaginative angry eyebrows. Its mouth was merely a gap in the front of its head, and the teeth were points jutting out of the roof and floor (or whatever the bottom of your mouth is called) - much like the claws.

Dash shook his head, thoroughly perturbed. He gestured at the dinosaur violently, asking his guide, "WHAT IS THIS?"

The guy rolled his eyes and drew imaginary quotes in the air with his fingers. "The 'Badly-Drawn Dinosaurs'!" he snarled, "Tom thought it was OH SO funny. Watch this…"

He pointed at the dino - which was indeed badly drawn. It looked around a little, then threw back its head, opened its mouth unbelievably wide, and roared, "TOM WAS HERE!"

"See what I mean?" the guy said, his voice dripping with scorn. Dash stared at the dinosaur, one eyebrow raised. He shook his head, saying, "I don't think I wanna meet this Tom guy."

"Oh, me neither," the guy reassured him.

"Hey," Dash said, turning to the guy, "What's your name? Because the narrator just can't keep calling you 'the guy' or 'the dude' all the time like that. It's getting annoying."

"Oh God, tell me about it!" the guy - er, I mean, Dash's… uh… companion said, "He's done that ever since I was created!"

"So what is it?" Dash asked.

"Uh," his companion said, rubbing his arm, "I never really had a name. I'm just a figment of Tom's imagination that he likes to mess around with."

Dash gasped. "That's horrible!"

"Oh, it's not that bad!" the other one said shrugging. He winked at Dash. "I get to take out a lot of baddies." He patted the hilt of his sword.

The two began walking through the village. Dash's face suddenly brightened considerably. "I've got an idea!" he cried, "Let's make UP a name for you!"

"Hm… how about… Hahphyjh?"

Dash looked at him funny.

"I know, it sounds weird." He blushed. "I'm not too good at making up names. I've never tried before, really."

"It sounds cool!" Dash said encouragingly, "But there's a lot of H's. How do you even pronounce that?"

EDITOR'S NOTE: Of course, he can't see the name, and his… er… friend already pronounced it, but he's saying that so you can know how to pronounce it. How considerate!

Dash's friend smiled. "It's (hah - fizh)."

"That's SWEET!" Dash shouted, pumping his fist in the air.

Hahphyjh smiled.

"So," Dash said. He was walking alongside the newly christened Hahphyjh. "What other kinds of stuff are here?"

"Hm," Hahphyjh said, scratching his chin, "Where do I start? There's the village, that road there leads downtown… Ah!" He reached down and picked up a newspaper off the ground. He turned to Dash and showed it to him. "The Tomville Times!"

Dash scrunched up his face. "Don't tell me - really stupid."

Hahphyjh dropped the Times and clicked his tongue. "Pretty much," he said.

He then began leading Dash toward the city. "There. See that?" he said quietly. Hahphyjh was referring to a small building, much like one of our houses.

Dash stared at it. "…Yeah?"

Hahphyjh smiled humorlessly. "Our hero," he said, his voice laden with scorn.

Suddenly, the house's door burst open, and a brown-haired man wearing baggy jeans, a tee-shirt - and a huge red cape with a big A inside a gold, upside-down triangle - burst out. "You called?" he said, one eyebrow raised and his arms open wide like a movie star showing off.

"No, not really," Hahphyjh said, his voice a monotone, his lips turned down in a grimace.

"Oh," the man said. His arms dropped, and he looked rather surprised. He began gesturing to the door. "Well! I'll just… uh… I'll just - er - go back… inside then…" His eyes flicked from Dash to Hahphyjh over and over. Then he took a deep breath, wound up to break into a run, and took off into his house, tripping over his cape as he went. They heard his voice cry out, "Whoaa-OAAA!" then there was a loud crash.

Dash winced, but Hahphyjh rolled his eyes and scowled. "What an idiot…" he muttered.

"Who was that?" Dash asked.

Hahphyjh shook his head. "'Captain Awesome'," he said, "The 'coolest super hero that ever lived'."

Dash laughed. "He actually says that?" he asked.

Hahphyjh sputtered impatiently. "Just look at him!" he screeched, "Does he look like someone who wouldn't?"

Dash smiled, thinking of how hard it would be to describe his new friend to his family.

The two friends continued walking down the path. As the city grew closer, the forest swelled towards them. Dash, looking aimlessly off into the trees, noticed a small path, the grass barely worn from little use. "What's down there?" he asked Hahphyjh.

Hahphyjh looked where he was pointing. His eyes darkened. "Oh," he said, "Oh, er… that's the…" He stopped, and let his head fall to his chest. "Let me just show you."

Dash looked ahead, trying to see where they were headed. The path was much longer than it had looked at first. The heavily clustered trees blocked most sunlight from streaming in, preventing proper sight. He felt Hahphyjh's eyes on him. "Don't fret it," his friend reassured him.

"I can't see anything!" Dash griped, "It's so dark!" He was interrupted by a low chirping from far away in the dark undergrowth. "And creepy," he added, curling his upper body into a little ball.

Hahphyjh laughed. "It only gets better from here," he said with a sly smile.

They soon reached what Dash was waiting for - but it wasn't exactly what Dash was waiting for. "This is it?" he asked skeptically.

Hahphyjh shrugged. "This is it."

They were looking at a large, one-story building, made entirely of a dull steel-like metal. A few windows dotted the surface - sufficient to let in sunlight, but not common enough to allow much vision from the outside in. Dash stared at it, disappointed. Hahphyjh glanced over at him.

"Hey," he said, nudging Dash and flicking his eyes at the building pointedly, "just wait until we get inside. You won't be disappointed."

Dash believed him.

Inside the door, a man stood, wearing a police uniform that was a deep green. The inside of the building was very dimly lit.

"Wow. Dreary," Dash said.

"Yeah," Hahphyjh answered smiling, "Makes you almost like it outside, huh?"

"Outside?" the officer suddenly screeched, "Outside - BAD? Just try standing guard in here with these - these THINGS!" He pointed at a gigantic glass case built into the wall behind him.

Dash stared at it. "It's… empty," he said, as if the guard was crazy.

He laughed in a way that almost proved Dash right. "That's what they always say when they see it," he said leaning in close to Dash, "BECAUSE THEY CAN'T SEE THEM!"

Dash blinked. Hahphyjh blinked. The guard rolled his eyes and sighed. "Come here," he said, grabbing their arms and pulling them off to the side of the tank. Dash started to ask what was going on, but the guard put a finger to his lips. "Shhh…" he hissed softly. After a long while of complete silence, both Dash and Hahphyjh began to wriggle with boredom. The guard suddenly gripped their shoulders, staring into the hallway he was just guarding. His guests exchanged glances. Suddenly –

"Do you hear that?" Hahphyjh whispered.

"Yeah," Dash answered, "What is it?"

"I don't know!" Hahphyjh hissed.

"Haven't you been here before?"

"No! I've just heard about it. Stories…"

"It's from a book Tom wrote," the guard interrupted, "A scary book, called Freak Out! It contains ten scary stories. This is the first…" He shuddered as the unidentified noise grew clearer. "Laughter in the Upper Room."

And now the two friends realized what they were hearing. All three leaned around the corner to see hundreds of dancing figures, glowing a beautiful shade of periwinkle, dancing, shouting, laughing. And it was apparent this was not some kind of ethereal party - the shouts were taunting, the laughs cruel.

"In the story," the guide said, horrified, "the ghosts lured people into the highest room in an abandoned castle with their laughter, and…" His voice trailed off. He swallowed loudly. "Curiosity killed the cat."

The spirits suddenly stopped everything and turned to face them. The three froze, eyes wide. Then the ghosts swirled into nothing - literally disappeared.

"Apparently our friend Tom isn't a COMPLETE goofball," Hahphyjh whispered quietly, sounding like he had something in his throat.

The guide slumped against the wall. "I can hear them laugh as I stand guard," he said, "It drives me crazy."

"Why do you do it then?" Dash asked.

The guard smiled. "Someone has to do it, my young friend. It's an act of selfless loyalty for our land, they always tell us. Now," he said, hoisting himself up and starting over to his stand, "you fellas want to see the rest of the stories? I'm afraid you'll see some guards have it worse than me."

There you go folks - a longer chapter! It's still a little shorter than
the average chapter anyone else writes, but hey, once again, it
was the perfect place to stop.

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Yes, the Tom they're talking about is me.

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I'm writing as fast as I can, everybody - anything for an adoring fan club!
Anyway, I get banned from the computer every once in a while,
so I'll do my best to get this done fast.

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This chapter is my Christmas present to everyone out there.
For anyone who doesn't celebrate Christmas, I respect you greatly for staying calm
in the face of everyone else doing stuff different from you. Just want you guyses to know.
Merry Christmahanakwanzika, everybody! Stay beautiful!