Hello all! Thank you so much for all the reviews and comments for the last chapter and all along. I'm so glad you are enjoying my toying with our couple. As you will recall, Anthony's sister had upset him quite a bit with her declaration that she and her husband would take Anthony away from Downton. He was so upset that he had another of his "fits" and needed Dr. Clarkson's assistance. And there was that straight forward conversation between Clarkson and Edith about what the future might hold for Anthony and for Edith. And now...
While Anthony's eyes had closed, his shaking abated, and his mind beginning to numb, he had not fallen asleep and he heard every word that was spoken. He and Dr. Clarkson had spoken before about how the war had injured him in ways that were not visible, so his comments were not a surprise. At least, not the ones about what his recovery might look like. But the Doctor's comment about Edith's influence did surprise him. And even more, her absolute certainty that she would marry him, if he asked. How could she be so sure? Why would she want to marry him, unless it was some misplaced pity? But nothing about her behavior seems to indicate pity….. care, yes…. But not pity. It just seems so impossible…. I really must do better. These horrible episodes must stop and…. if only my memory would come back? But it might never…. What then? Should I wait until then or….or should I concentrate on healing my body and finding a way to manage these episodes? Yes, yes…. That's what I will do. Heal what can be healed and either the memory will return or it won't. Either way, I WILL get better, be as strong as I can. I will earn the right to ask for her hand. Yes…. That's it…Yes, I will, I must. I cannot imagine a future without her. Those thoughts lingered with him until fell into a deep sleep.
Anthony slept most of the rest of the day. And while he slept, Edith was pressed by her father and Granny to explain the bizarre events that afternoon between Anthony and his sister. She tried to explain how Mrs. Chetwood's remarks about taking him away from all that he knew had upset him and they seemed to grasp just how much panic it had caused, even though she did not go into detail about his episode upon returning to his room.
"Yes, but he seems so dependent upon you, my dear," Granny commented.
"Dependent? No, he manages on his own quite well, all things considered. But I do believe that he trusts me more than others, somehow. There are some aspects of his injuries that he will not discuss with me at all…" And there are moments between us that I will not discuss with you, nor will I tell you the full effect of his episodes….
"Of course not. That's isn't the sort of thing one discusses with a young lady," Granny said.
"Of course. And he does discuss those with Dr. Clarkson. But when it comes to other things, he is quite like he was before the war. I think he's read half the library while staying here and when we were at Locksley…."
"You went to Locksley with him? Alone?" Robert asked, aghast.
"I drove him over. Dr. Clarkson thought it might stir some bits of memory, but I don't think it worked."
"But no one else was with you?" Her Papa had suddenly grown very alert and intense.
"No. Everyone was busy. We were alright. And his staff was in the house. Poor Oates was so happy and relieved to see him but of course, Anthony didn't recognize him at all. It was easy to see how disappointed Oates was."
"Well, I should hope so," Granny interjected. "One would hope the staff is always happy to see the master of the house."
"Well, anyway…. The visit didn't seem to stir any memories for him. He did look more comfortable in his library though. So perhaps that was something." Edith failed to notice the odd looks that both her father and her Granny were giving her. Finally, her father spoke again. "Yes, well…. I do hope you aren't thinking things will pick up just where they left off between the two of you. He is a changed man."
"Yes, and wounded…. A cripple really," Granny said.
Edith looked at her elders with chagrin. "I don't expect things to be the same and he is injured but not a cripple, and I do hope that when he is ready, we might renew our friendship in earnest."
"I should say you've already achieved that," Granny mumbled.
"Yes, in a way. But he is still a patient; something we both feel quite acutely, I think." Before anymore could be said, Carson rang the gong and Edith used it as an excuse to hurry from the room. She wanted no more prying by her father and her granny. They simply did not understand at all.
Later that night, when the house was all settled, Edith left the confines of her room and crossed over to the wing where Anthony's room was. Knocking softly on his door, she opened it and peered around the edge. He was propped in his bed, reading. She took advantage of the moment to simple gaze at him. He really was handsome, she thought, in spite of the added lines and haunted look the war had etched in his face. Time would heal some of that too, she thought. In fact, she thought those things might already be softening in his features.
Anthony looked up, startled. "Edith?"
"Yes, I just…. Well, I was in my room and after everything today, I just needed to see you, be sure you are alright," she said as she ventured into his room. "And if I'm entirely honest, I was thinking about our time together at Locksley."
His eyes widened as he realized that she was here, in his room, him in his night clothes and her in … hers. And what a feast for his eyes she was too, clad in her silky night frocks, exposing so little and hinting at so much. So much so, that his head began to feel a bit light. "You… you shouldn't be here this time of night and in….. that," he said as he waved at her apparel.
Emboldened by his obvious reaction to her attire, even though she hadn't given it any thought, she stepped closer to his bed. "You don't like my clothes?"
"On the contrary, my dear, I like them entirely too much, much more than I ought. I may be injured, but I am still a man and in that…garb, you remind me of that fact quite forcefully."
Unused to such praise from men, Edith couldn't help it, she giggled. "Really?" She'd eased closer and was now standing at the edge of his bed. Watching as he took in her full effect stirred things deep within her, things no one had ever told her about before. But she knew what was behind those stirrings; she wanted him as much as his expression suggested he wanted her.
Sitting gingerly on the foot of the bed, she smiled at him. "I did need to see you. And if you want me to leave I will. But I'd like to stay, if you'll have me."
"Oh god," he moaned. "Please don't do this…"
"What?" she asked.
"If I'll have you?" His voice was a higher pitch and there was real anguish in his eyes.
"Oh, I didn't mean…. I meant…. Well, just if you'd let me stay awhile…. Not….." They both spoke at once. "I know you didn't mean to suggest…. But still…."
Anthony paused and shot her his shy, awkward grin, which made her smile in return. "I love you Anthony. You do know that, don't you? I know it isn't considered ladylike to confess such things, but I want you to know that."
"I do not think it is unladylike and oh my sweet, I'll treasure your words always. And you mean so very much to me as well. And I promise you that I am doing my best to heal the broken places. And in time, I want to…. It is my fondest wish to be able to ask for your hand. But not just yet. You do understand, don't you?"
"I do. And I can wait, although it is becoming increasing difficult. I just want for us to be together, in every way."
Anthony groaned again. "Edith!" But he was grinning and there was a twinkle in his eyes. "You keep this up and I will die from a heart attack before I can ever ask the question."
"Then ask me now. It'll be our little secret. No one else has to know a thing. But we'll know."
"I… no, not like this. But soon, I think I shall."
Edith smiled broadly. "Then I shall have to be content with the promise of a promise. And I think I can sleep now, so I'll go back to my room and dream of our life together."
"Oh my dearest darling, will you really?"
"Yes, I will as I do every night. Good night, my love." She bent over to kiss him, giving him a peek at what treasures she was saving for him and he closed his eyes, letting the joy wash through him. "Yes, my darling, good night." He couldn't help the smile that affixed itself to his face or the glistening in his eyes as he watched her cross the room and disappear through the door. You really must get better, old chap. She is waiting for you and a lady should never be made to wait.
