That evening Anthony and Matthew sat at a small table in the converted library. Anthony had given Matthew the names and together they were planning the letter that Matthew would write to the solicitors. It was decided that Anthony should meet George Philpott, the estate manager at Locksley, and arrange a meeting between the three of them after Matthew heard from Anthony's solicitor.
Confident that he'd done as much as he could to begin the process, Anthony went to his room. After reading a chapter from one of the books in the Grantham library, he fell into a restful slumber, filled with dreams of Edith.
The following afternoon, with some trepidation, Anthony returned to Locksley with Edith at his side. He knew Agatha meant well, but she always seemed to find a way to upset him and he didn't expect today to be any different. And it wasn't.
"I thought we might take a turn around the gardens today," she said after walking around the house with her pointing to this room or that portrait and explaining some significance to it, which Anthony forgot almost as quickly as she explained it. There really was so much to take in, he reflected as they descended the stairs. They were in the front entry when she made her suggestion.
"It is a lovely day, isn't it," Edith offered.
"Yes, lovely day," Anthony agreed. "Yes, why not. Perhaps you could point out the manager's cottage to me or his office? I'll need to speak with him eventually."
As they meandered through the gardens behind the house Anthony was surprised to look back at it and realize just how large it was. It certainly didn't appear quite so large from the front. There was a garage and several stalls for carriages and horses in the back, as well. All were constructed of the same brick as the main part of the house and had green doors and trim. It looked quite neat and tidy, he thought as they passed by.
"I've never been back here," Edith said warmly as they made their way past the garage. "We always walked out to the side whenever I visited before the war. There are some lovely trees in that direction and a small graveyard over the knoll there."
Anthony glanced back in the direction where she pointed and frowned. "A graveyard?"
"Yes," Agatha answered. "Many of the early Strallans are buried there, as are two or three of your dogs."
"Dogs?"
"Yes. You had a menagerie as a child, Anthony. You always had at least one dog. And I also seem to remember a rabbit, a goat and a lamb. There were other animals too. Papa finally put a stop to your animal collecting when you brought home a fish you'd caught in the pond and wanted to put it in water and keep it in the study. From then on it was dogs and horses only. Or at least, that was it as far as our father knew. Old Mr. Langley kept a place in his shed for you to house your animals for several years."
Edith chuckled when she heard the mention of a fish, which made Anthony smile. What sort of names did he give his pets?" she asked. "Papa always seems to name his dogs after some ancient Egyptian.
"Oh Anthony wasn't nearly so historical. His first puppy was Fluffy, as I recall. He had another that he named Spot. The rabbit was Hoppy. The goat was….now, let me think…. Oh yes, Merlin." Turning to look at Anthony she smiled. "You were in your Arthur phase then. and after that you tended to be quite literary in your naming habits." Looking back at the path, she continued. "The lamb was Finlay, or Fin. And of course, Leviathan was your fish."
Anthony could see that Edith was quite amused by his pet names. "And other dogs? You said I had two or three buried over there."
"Well, let me think… You had a hound that you called Huck after the Mark Twain character. And there was a mongrel that wandered onto the property that you dubbed Friar Tuck. Oh, and there was a stable dog you called Billy Bones. "
"And horses?" Edith asked. "Did he have a favorite horse?"
"He had a pony as soon as he was old enough for Papa to convince Mama he should ride. Papa bought a Welsh Cob, which you promptly named Gawain. Later you had Gringolet. But I think your favorite was Hengroen. He was a beautiful black hunter that Papa gave you on your sixteenth birthday. You and Hengroen were a sight, you with your long legs and tall frame sitting atop him. He was tall and graceful in his gait and it seemed he could jump anything. I remember the two of you flying over the hedgerow near the gate to the orchards and Mama nearly collapsing at the sight of it. But you made the jump and you picked an apple from one of the trees and brought it back to Mama. She wanted to thrash you and hug you at the same moment."
Anthony listened and tried to let any images, perhaps a fleeting memory, pass into his mind but there was nothing. By then they had reached the bottom of the gardens and were just turning to walk back when there were gunshots and a flock of birds flew in mass out of the orchard. The sounds startled Anthony and he dove to the ground seeking cover behind a large shrub near the path. Suddenly there was gunfire all around him, the steady rat-a-tat of machine guns and mortar fire loud in his ears, inside his head. He curled into a ball, his long legs tight against his body as he was thrown deeper into the battle in his mind. His eyes were closed tight against the images that crept into his mind of explosions all around him. But then he could feel someone touching him on his arm and then a gentle stroking of his face. And then there was a voice, Edith's voice, calling to him.
Slowly he opened his eyes to see her sitting next to him, her face full of worry. Looking up, he saw the blue sky above them and realized everything was quiet, even his horrorstruck sister who stood behind Edith. "It's alright, Anthony," Edith was telling him. "It was just a single shot, probably one of the farmers shooting a rabbit or something. We're here at Locksley and everything is alright."
Anthony blinked and looked around. He could see the house in the distance, whole and not blown to bits. Looking back at Edith, he fought the images that had overwhelmed him a moment ago. "You… you're here… you're alright?" He whispered.
"Yes, I'm fine. And so are you. And so is Agatha. We're all fine. Do you think you are ready to sit up now?"
Anthony pushed up into a sitting position and was able to see more of his surroundings. Yes, everything was just as it should be, he reassured himself. Taking in his sister's face, he felt embarrassed. "I'm sorry," he told her. "I… I'm not sure what came over me."
"I … I've never seen anything like that," she replied. "Really Anthony, you must have a better hold on your emotions… to be so frightened by a single shot when you've grown up here with the farmers shooting at rabbits and squirrels all your life. I don't understand…"
Edith's anger flared in her face. "No, I don't expect you would understand. The sound took him back to the battlefield. He thought that's where he was. And he has no control over that, so you needn't admonish him for it." Edith took his arm and tugged. "Time to return to Downton," she said firmly, as much to Agatha as to Anthony. "Thank you for walking with us and telling us all about Locksley and Anthony's animals, but we need to get back," she directed at Agatha as Anthony stood and dusted off. Within a few short minutes they were back in the car and headed out of the Locksley drive, leaving a perplexed Agatha behind.
"I'm sorry," Anthony said again as they turned onto the road to Downton. "I… I don't know why I…. behaved like that," he said contritely.
"Anthony, you have nothing for which you need apologize. I've seen men react at Downton to far less. Dr. Clarkson says that sometimes sounds or even smells take the mind back to the battlefield. One Captain we had a while ago reacted very much the same when he heard Isis barking at some squirrels. Seemed the Germans had released some dogs on him and they mauled him. Papa was careful not to bring Isis around the poor man after that and he also told everyone to be careful about firing their guns too close to the house."
"Really?" Anthony was still feeling embarrassed but Edith's reassuring voice was helping him to calm down. "Agatha, she must think…."
"She just doesn't understand, Anthony. If she did, she wouldn't speak to you like she did. From what I can gather, she really has been sheltered from the war with no idea of what our men are struggling with, even some who haven't been injured. We can explain to her tomorrow, when we return to Locksley. But for now, I think you simply need to relax and take your mind off of what happened."
"But I really don't understand why it happened. In my mind, there was so much gunfire and more, explosions all around. But I have no recollection of ever having been in a battle. It makes no sense to me."
"That does seem odd. Perhaps Dr. Clarkson might know. Perhaps you should ask him what he thinks about the episode. I wonder if your memory is trying to come back?"
"I can't say. But I think I would prefer that those types of memories remained hidden. I'd much rather remember those days before the war that you've described to me, those rides about the countryside and our discussions. "
"I wish you could remember those too," Edith replied. "Maybe you will one day. In the meantime, my darling man, I plan to create new memories with you, many, many new memories."
"Oh, I do like the sound of that," he replied. And he did. Anthony wanted so much to learn more about his lovely Edith, to know her every nuance. As he pondered the thrill of discovery with her, other thoughts feathered through his mind as well. Why the devil does she even want to be around me? It must be pity; is she with me out of pity? No, I can't believe that. But…. What other reason could there be? Why would she want to be with a crippled old man who has a shattered mind? It makes no sense.
Edith, having witnessed how Anthony often turned his thoughts against himself, interrupted his introspection. "I'm not with you out of pity, if that is what you are thinking. I love you, Anthony Strallan, warts and all."
My god, she knows what I am thinking! Deeply engrossed in that notion, Anthony didn't notice when Edith drove past the gates of Downton towards Thirsk. Consequently, he was surprised when they drove into the village and she stopped the car near a tea shop on the main road. "I thought we could do with a little escape," she proclaimed confidently with a smile.
"But there will be people about…" he said as he looked down at his uniform, complete with his arm in the wretched white sling.
"Yes, there will. And they will look at you and see a soldier who has been injured in the arm and go on about their business. Injured soldiers are unfortunately are not an uncommon sight."
"Yes, alright. A spot of tea does sound inviting."
"It does, it really does," Edith answered as she climbed from the car. Anthony, for once, was grateful that Edith was driving. It meant that he could use his left hand to unlatch the door and climb out of the car and it didn't feel awkward at all. In fact, he felt less helpless and so he smiled across the bonnet at her as they each walked to meet in front of it. Any time with you is inviting, he thought as he gazed down into her smiling face. I don't know how, but you managed to make the earlier episode seem so unimportant… With that thought in mind, Anthony escorted his darling into the tea shop, a happy grin plastered on his face.
