man, i'm such a liar! "oh yeah, i'll have another chapter uploaded soon!" psh! soon, my foot! sorry everybody...

disclaimer- i don't own bonejangles unfortunately. and i also don't own the song "come on-a my house". that one belongs to rosemary clooney.

warning: lotta 20s-30s slang used in here, so at some points it might make it a little confusing


A pair of hands wrapped around her face and covered her eyes.

"Guess who," a coarse voice said softly in her ear.

LuLu grinned and replied, "Bojangles, I'd know that voice anywhere!"

He laughed and turned LuLu around on her stool to face him. "Blows my cover, does it? I should work on that."

"You don't have to work on a thing! I think…" She blushed and looked at her hands, "I think you're swell just the way you are."

He laughed again and gave her a peck on the cheek. "And Kitten, I think you're the shyest flapper I've ever met."

"Well…"

Before she could finish, the door opened quickly.

"Everything copasetic in here?" a gruff man asked.

"Yeah, everything's copasetic," LuLu replied, "Why?"

"'Cause you're on in five, doll! Shake a leg!"

"Oh, don't blow your wig! I'll be out there 'fore you can say 'Jack Robinson'."

The man closed the door with an exasperated sigh.

"Joe's right, Lu," Bojangles said as LuLu started rummaging around her dressing room. "You better dangle."

He sat down on the threadbare sofa in the corner

"Well, wait a minute!" she said, "You don't think I forgot, do you?"

She triumphantly pulled out a brown hatbox with a red ribbon tied around it and handed it to Bojangles.

"Happy birthday."

He grinned.

"You're a doll, Lu!" He put it aside to hug her, and she laughed.

"Oh, for crying out loud, Bojangles!" she said, "I gotta split before Joe blows a fuse. Open your present when you get the chance."

She quickly powdered her nose once more and adjusted the large silk flower in her hair.

"Break a leg, Lu," Bojangles said as she walked out the door. She closed it behind her, and the dressing room was silent. Bojangles pulled on the cuffs of his gray blazer and looked at the hatbox on the sofa. LuLu was such a sweetheart. He could tell that she cared about him, even if she already had a guy. Or rather, even though a guy already had her. Bojangles glared at his hands.

Harry Rubinetti was the guy's name, being an utter sleazeball was his game. He was the slimiest creature to ever curse the world with his presence, and it was he, of all the guys anywhere, who had LuLu. Bojangles' LuLu! He had that poor girl on a short leash and beat her like a rug. Someday Rubinetti would get what was coming to him. And Bojangles would be the one that made sure he got it. But until then, he'd lie low, because if Rubinetti knew that LuLu was with another guy, he'd make her life a living hell. That was the last thing Bojangles wanted.

He shook his head and looked back at his present. Smiling, he decided to open it. He pulled the red ribbon off and lifted the top.

"That girl!" he said to himself as he admired the black bowler that lay inside the box. "She'll spoil me rotten."

As he picked up the hat, a piece of paper fell out. He snatched it out of the air and saw that it was a picture of LuLu. 'With love from LuLu' it said in a corner, next to a pink lip print. On the back was a note:

"I hope you like the hat, Bojangles," it read, "I spent all day just picking it out."

There were a few scratched out words before it continued.

"You're a swell fella, a really swell fella, and I like you a lot. Well, I guess it goes a little further than that, and maybe you feel the same. But I don't want you in any trouble. Harry's got a mean temper on him and a jealous streak a mile wide. And that's why I want you to forget about me. Harry's got guys who'll bump you off in a jiffy and won't give a damn about it."

A few more scribbled out words.

"Before you forget about me, though, I better say what I've been meaning to say for a long time now: I love you, Bojangles. LuLu."

Bojangles glared at the note before turning it back over.

"Ain't no son-of-a-bitch greaseball gonna scare me away from you, LuLu," he told the photograph sternly, "You'll be my doll. Just the way it was meant to be."


"Come on-a my house, a my house, I'm gonna give you candy!" LuLu sang in the spotlight, her long necklaces sparkling, "Come on-a my house, a my house, I'm gonna give you apple an' a plum an' a apricot-a, too, ah!"

Bojangles watched her from the back of the speakeasy, his new bowler tipped fashionably to the side. A young man next to him ordered another beer. He was already a little drunk, but he didn't let that stop him.

"You're dizzy with that dame, ain't ya?" he asked Bojangles as he took a swig, "She'll send ya for a trip, though. Don't ya know who she is?"

Bojangles gave him a silencing look. The man only barely took the hint, and continued in a whisper.

"She's Harry's moll! As in Harry Rubinetti? As in Harry the Hammer?"

"Yeah, twit, I know who Harry the Hammer is," Bojangles hissed, "Now shut your yap!"

"Alright, Cat, alright!" He leaned back and took another swallow of beer. "I'm just givin' ya fair warning: you'll be in a hella dutch when Rubinetti finds out. A hella dutch!"

Bojangles knew he was right. He and LuLu couldn't keep it a secret forever.

"Hot damn, she's a sweet canary, though, ain't she?" the man whistled softly. Bojangles sighed exasperatedly.

"How many times do I have to tell you, genius? Shut. Up."

The song was over anyways, and another singer, a man this time, was setting up his microphone onstage. LuLu skipped over to Bojangles' table and smiled.

"Do you like the hat?" she asked.

"It's keen, Lu," he replied with a grin, "I'll wear it everyday from now on!"

She gave him a grateful laugh and started to walk away.

"Woah, Kitten!" Bojangles called after her, "Where are you going?"

"My dressing room," she explained, "to freshen up. I'll be back in a jif."

She flashed another smile and sidled her way through the crowd of dancing couples. That was when Bojangles made up his mind.

"We'll leave," he whispered.

"Speak up," the young man said.

"Not you! Me 'n' LuLu."

The man seemed to pull himself out of his slightly inebriated state. "Wait, wait, wait! Hold your horses! You 'n' LuLu? Leave? As in elope, or something?"

"Yeah!"

"But Rubinetti's got his goons in every corner of the state! You'll never make it without him knowing!"

"I don't need advice from a fella who's half seas over," Bojangles said as he left the table. The young man followed him.

"I am not!" he said indignantly.

"Five beers? Yeah, I think you are. Now will you scram?"

The man threw his hands up in the air. "Fine, I'll go! Just trying to help a fella out, but nooo…So I guess I'll split now."

"Thank God," Bojangles muttered under his breath.

Outside the corridor to the dressing rooms, he paused to adjust his tie before he went in.

"…gave me the low-down," a male voice said as it drifted through the crack under LuLu's door. Bojangles stopped dead to listen. It was Rubinetti. "So now I know the little shindig that's been going on behind my back. All I gotta find out now is who you've been pitching woo with while I ain't lookin'."

"No one, Harry," said LuLu's scared voice, "Honest!"

Bojangles flinched at the sound of a slap and LuLu's cry.

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you." It was the young man again. He stood, slightly crouched, just behind Bojangles.

"Jesus! What do you want?" Bojangles asked. The man ignored the question.

"Rubinetti's packing heat, I can tell you now," he whispered.

"What do I care?" Bojangles asked, "My girl's in trouble!"

The young man held him back.

"For your own good," he said desperately, "Get out of here! He'll kill ya!"

"I'm not leaving LuLu."

With that, he slammed open the door and stood glowering in the doorway. The young man was right, he noticed; Rubinetti was armed, and his gun was pointed straight at LuLu.

The look on Rubinetti's face went from one of shock to grim satisfaction.

"Well, well, well," he cooed. "Is this your little boyfriend, LuLu?"

LuLu was a crumpled heap on the floor. She looked up at Bojangles through fearful, teary eyes.

"No," she whispered, "Leave him alone, Harry, please!"

"You liedto me, LuLu," Rubinetti said, keeping an eye on Bojangles, "Why should I give a damn what you want?"

"Please, Harry...dont..."

"Nah, I think I'll kill him."

LuLu burst into uncontrolled tears, and Rubinetti grinned smugly.

"You bastard," Bojangles said through clenched teeth. He walked in a slow semicircle around Rubinetti and over to LuLu.

"Get away from her!" Rubinetti warned. Bojangles ignored him.

"C'mon, doll," he said softly to LuLu, "Let's get out of here."

He helped her up and they walked to the door.

"Take one step out of this room and I bump you both!"

Bojangles moved LuLu discreetly out of Rubinetti's line of fire and took a step-

BANG!


(EDIT- thanks for catching my little slip-up in the names, TK FoX! gives you a cookie)