2. Renaissance Men
The goal of socialism is communism.
~ Vladimir Lenin
Lying on his plank-bad, Lucius contemplated his paper, nibbling on his pencil in a deep thought.
"Sev?" he called out after a long silence. "What is socialism?"
"Hmm?.." Severus asked sleepily from the other bed.
"Do you know what does this socialism mean?"
"What?" Immense surprise seemed to have awakened his friend at last.
"Socialism," Lucius repeated patiently. "What is it?"
"I haven't the slightest idea," Severus said, puzzled. "Something Russian, I guess. Probably some political arrangement."
"What political arrangement?"
The Potions Master scratched his head.
"I vaguely remember it's something about sharing everything equally."
Lucius frowned.
"We share everything equally here, you and I. Does that mean we have this..." he checked his paper, "socialism?"
"Certainly not! You have eaten all the bacon, leaving me with kippers!" Severus was outraged. "And what do you need such nonsense for, anyway?"
"I am asked right here what the goal of socialism is," Lucius complained, thrusting the paper into his friend's hands. "Do you see?"
Astounded, Severus looked at the half-done crossword puzzle in the Prophet.
"Revolution, bourgeoisie, guillotine," he read aloud. "Are they crazy? Who could be writing this for them?"
"Dolohov," Lucius answered. "Didn't you know? He is really big on crosswords and all this..." he waved his hand, seeking for the right word, "revolutionary thing. Anyway, he regularly sends them new puzzles and even gets several knuts out of that, as far as I know. And usually loses it all to Rody later in poker. So, you really don't know anything about socialism?"
"No, I don't. How have you even managed to finish this half is beyond me."
Lucius smirked.
"Dolohov goes on and on about all this for hours. And Malfoys tend to be Renaissance Men, thank you very much. I try to educate myself in all things."
Now it was Severus's turn to smirk, as he gazed at the half-written word COM****SM.
"I see. And your Renaissance education simply does not allow you to recognize such... ahem... common word, I guess."
"What?"
Severus sighed.
"Nothing. Just write communism there, that is all."
Lucius nodded, putting the missing letters in the empty cells. Severus had just enough time to doze off when his friend suddenly burst into laughter.
"You must listen to it, Sev! Virgin birth. How is that even possible?!"
"It's parthenogenesis," Severus grumbled. "And now, leave me alone, you Renaissance Man. I want to sleep. If you wake me up one more time, I'll poison you, I swear."
Lucius decided it was safer to keep quiet, after all, and continued his crossword struggles in silence.
Next morning Severus found his friend soundly asleep, his paper on the floor, the puzzle almost finished, except for one very strange word: B*L*L*IK*. Smirking, the Potions Master filled the empty places with four A letters and started making himself some coffee. They had it just enough for one cup only.
"Socialism, indeed," he thought, smiling, and made the first delicious sip.
